Why won’t my mom let me live with her?

02/11/2010 admin 7 comments

I know this is super long but bear with me PLEASE!
Here is a little background. I was kicked out when I was 16, I was a problem child you could say. My father didn’t want me in his house anymore and I didn’t want to be there one night we got into a heated argument and he blacked my eye. My mother didn’t want me living with her because her boyfriend didn’t want me there (devastating for a 16 who thought the world of her mother). I was made live with my immature 19 year old brother and his psycho pregnant girlfriend (she would lie, steal, do drugs, etc)
Food was a struggle even tho my parents paid my brother child support for me (his girlfriend was doing something with the money). I then met my daughters father and because he had money my brother asked him to live with us. He did and shortly later I became pregnant. We moved into our own place and everything seemed ok.
Until I found out my mother was addicted to crack cocaine. By this time I was seventeen and expecting a baby girl. During my pregnancy I was often alone (my ex was out running around while I worked to pay the bills(his money was depleted by this time he would quit all his jobs). I really craved my mother but she was out doing what she was doing. When I had my daughter I hadto call my mother as soon as anything happened so she could try to stop smoking so she could make it to the hospital where her teenage daughter was in labor. She should up at 4am looked horrible and was probably still high I was so happy she had come I actually ignored everyone else. After that, I loaned her money and tried to save her once picking her up from a crack motel, feeding her and helping her get into rehab. I visited with her often.
She got out and was staying somewhere. I eventually let her live with me and she got a job and was doing good, I would take her to work and pick her up, and even sat in the emergency room with her and took care of her when she got out(she did something to her eye). Sad to say I ended up getting really mad with her (she was still with the boyfriend) and she moved out. After that she got hoked on it again. For a while that was her life. After a year or so she got it together again leaving the boyfriend alone. She met someone new and moved in with him and a friend. She was given a 2 bdrm mobile home by my grandmother and a car. She and her boyfriend are living there. I have had a rough 2 years. I split from my ex (he spent rent money on god knows what and we were put out). I had to stay with some guy I knew and then with my sister, I got a job working for an auction company and my sister and myself got a house and were doing great. She then started to act strange towards my daughter and would steal from me.
I moved in with my brother. I lost my job 2 months after being at my brothers. He then grew tired of me because he wanted to “walk around naked” and I didn’t have any money to offer him(I also let him stay with me over a year and helped well bascially raised his son on my own that year) lether let me stay at her house for 2 weeks and then I left to georgia with my current boyfriend. I felt that was my only option because her boyfriend doesn’t want us to stay there. Although there is an extra room and he is there illegally as well, she will not let me(i am now 22 and 4 months pregnant)4 months pregnant) and my 4 year old daughter stay with her to get on our feet. I’m sure it might be the boyfriend he doesn’t want us to damper his life on unemployment and weed smoking. He also has a crazy temper and talks to my mother horribly her thing is that he is a great guy. If I was with him she’d sh*t! Anyway, I am leaving for florida saturday and she is coming to get me, then i’m on my own I have to stay in a shelter….

Am I wrong for expecting or wanting her to let me stay with her?
My grandmother helped her so much when I was young and still does, why won’t she help me?
My mother is steady now, has been at her job for quite some time, has made this mobile home look great and has been more stable and secure than she has in 5 years. She says she doesn’t want me to stay because she isn’t supposed to have people staying there and her boyfriend once had a felony and shouldn’t be there either. I’m not sure why he is worth the risk and me her pregnant daughter and granddaughter aren’t. She also acts upset becuase I have gotten myself here andI think she is most upset because she feels I am trying to back her in a corner. I just want my mommy to want to help me and follow through. I feel like F*ck her boyfriend he has had at least 20 years to get his sh*t together and hasn’t. HELP ME MOM!!!
I have already filed for childsupport quite some time ago, the thing is if they aren’t willing to pay it takes quite some time. Also, I have tried getting housing help and there is a ridiculous waiting term. I have looked for employment and it’s very hard to find employment in florida(at least in my area) as well as where I am now. I am now pregnant (MY FAULT) and I know I should have planned better but nobody wants to hire a pregnant woman. I am not lazy and I am a good mother, I just have let people lie to me and foolishly I believe them.

Comments

Written by a chick about 2 years ago.

Any grandparent/parent would want their child and grandchildren to have a warm safe place to stay and unless you’ve put her in dangerous living situations before, it seems heartless. I wonder why though, you’d even bother with her if she chose her boyfriend over you?
Written by *♥♫Hedy♫♥* about 2 years ago.

Oh sweetie I feel so bad for you. Is there no other family that can help you? Have you tried a church? Sometimes, I know they do here in NC, they can set you up in a temp. home and will help with a job.

you’re not wrong in thinking your mom should help. But it sounds like she’s not doing a good job of taking care of herself. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find some where for you and your babies to go. Take care of yourself. I wish I could help you more.
Written by nikki minaj about 2 years ago.

SHES NOT A GOOD PARENT
Written by In Repair about 2 years ago.

You have been through so much at such a young age. I don’t doubt for one minute that you want A MOM. I don’t believe your mom has been much of a mom to you throughout your life and to expect her to be able to feel a mother/daughter relationship now is probably asking too much of her.

I really believe you need to distance yourself from these people in your life who bring you down. It is up to you now to provide a better life for your daughter and your child you are carrying. They need all the love and stability you can provide in order for them to turn out right.

Check the links below and don’t be scared to let someone help you get a good start on a new life. And I suggest when you are starting to meet guys again, set your standards high. Find someone that you would like to be a role model for your children. Someone who is going to treat them like their own and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Hopefully you can get set up in your own home and maybe your mom can come visit but try to just let your family come visit and not move in with you. It will be more stable for your children to have their own routine with their mom.

Take care of yourself and if you ever need to talk, you can email me at tlcgreengoes at yahoo dot com
Written by Kiss My Grits about 2 years ago.

I don’t know, I’D let you live with me. Grrrrawwww!
Written by Michael about 2 years ago.

No hun, ur mom is big time wrong for not being there for u. Its a shame that’s she’s blind to ur needs. but at the end, shes the one who will miss out. On watching ur kids growing up. It sounds like u have had some pretty bad luck in ur growing up, but u will be fine . It sounds like ur mom is back on the pipe, that’s why she dose not want u there. Its probable for the best, u and ur kids don’t need to be around that kind of life style. I wish that there could be some way to Cheer u up, but I know ur going through some emotional feeling right, and I wish u the best.
Written by Patricia G about 2 years ago.

Wow, you really have had a ruff 22yrs. I’m very sorry your father is an abuser and your mom an addict. That does suck and make for a lousy childhood. However it sounds like your blaming your family for everything bad that has happened to you. To my way of thinking you can’t. You need to own the choices you made and the consequences that happened. Take a breath and read on. Yes it is the fault of both your parents that they were not able to take care of you. Yes it is there fault that they did not place you in a better place. You said that you were a problem child. What does that mean? Were you still going to school, were you disrespectful, fighting, What? You are at fault because you should have known the difference between right and wrong. You chose to lay down and not use protection. You ended up pregnant and alone. Is the father part of the child’s life, does he pay child support? If not why not! If you both were old enough to lay down then you both should take care of the child. You could have gone to social services or the family courts and they would have helped you. Now at 22 your pregnant again and are not employed. Is this guy going to stick around and help take care of this child? Doubt it, unless he’s forced by the courts. Why are you allowing men to use your body in such a manner. You should have learn the first time and stayed away. You are expecting the men to be there to take care of you and your children. You need to fix it on your own. There is a lot of things you could do to make abetter life for the kids and you. You need to stop blaming everyone else and take ressponsibility for the choice you made.Why in God’s name would you want to llive under your mother’s roof? Yes, she may be a recovering addict, but as a responsible mother, you should never waant that type of person around your children. Blood or no Blood doesn’t matter. Thank your mother for giving you life and showing you what type of person and mother you don’t want to be. You shouldn’t want your kids around felons either. Why weren’t you working this whole time saving money to provide for your kids? There is no reson you will have to go into a shelter. When you get where your going, go to the local social service building and apply for aid. Look for a job or ask about a education programs through that county. Please, get your life together and stop having babies until you have gotten yourself together. Until you are financially able to pay for them on your own. Get yourself into a coulseling program. Stop blaming your past on you present and future. Only you are responsible for the present and the future. Goog Luck

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Why won’t my mom let me live with her?

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