I’m in love with a man who is very high maintence and has always been a bacholar. I moved in with him 2 years ago with my 2 children, he is not a kid person but has a son of his own. He does not like my son but likes my daughter. For a long time now he tells to move out and he wants to be on his own but i’ve stayed, finally I bought a house and I got it April 3 but now he tells me he wants me to stay, he says he loves me and is going to get help. He has been very good to me lately but I’m scared he will just go back to being the same person again. I also don’t like the things he has said to me and I don’t like his weekend binge drinking. Please help with advise.
-
Written by BG about 1 year ago.
Keep some distance and the house, for sure. Make him show you and convince you he has changed for the better. I’m not talking just a few months either. It SHOULD take time for you to be convinced he’s the right choice for you AND your kids.
-
Written by gac95010 about 1 year ago.
He won’t change. Leave before it turns physical.
-
Written by thknuvu about 1 year ago.
Move out, he needs counsiling and don’t let him in until he gets it. You and your kids don’t deserve to be treated that way!
-
Written by lizzyloo about 1 year ago.
Please for the sake of the children leave. You could still try and work it out without having to live there. I believe he will go back to his normal ways if you stay. Even if it’s only weekend binge drinking he still sounds like he has a problem.
-
Written by Jocelyn about 1 year ago.
Why are you staying with an abusive man who don’t like one of your kids with is wrong with you. He doesn’t even like his own son and you said he is not kids person.
-
Written by mizzhollywood26 about 1 year ago.
Familiarity. Keep your children in mind and how he treats them.
-
Written by Calm..clear..Sereeennn..happy... about 1 year ago.
Wait he doesnt like 1 of your kids…i’m sorry but this guy seems like a loser…n’he cusses at u..he needs to go..
-
Written by Tracy about 1 year ago.
I think you need to leave…if he doesn’t even like your son how can he be a father figure to him? get out now!!
-
Written by mybell about 1 year ago.
For me it was because I grew up in an abusive household and thought that the empassioned verbal abuse meant he cared enough to be upset with me….When I divorced and remarried a non-abuser the hardest part for the first few years was feeling like my new husband didn’t care enough to get pissed off at me…..I learned better…thank God he stuck with me….now we have a very happy marriage.
-
Written by Easterlily about 1 year ago.
GET OUT!!! This should not be up for negotiatons. It is hard to leave men who are abusive (emotionally and/or physically) because they turn you into a dependent person. Through their abuse they convince you that you are not going to find someone else. They put you down and significantly lower your self-esteem. If he doesn’t like both of your kids, that should be a deal-breaker. Your son will notice, and it will damage him even if you don’t see it. Sounds like your man is a master manipulater. Don’t continue to allow him to manipulate you.
-
Written by niffer about 1 year ago.
It doesn’t sound like you are happy. You need to be happy in order to be a good mother. Leave him. He is only trying to hold on because he doesn’t feel like he is in control anymore. Oh and the ‘he doesn’t like my son’. Move on. I would never be with someone that didn’t like all of my children.
-
Written by TeXaS GaL about 1 year ago.
You are a mother first and formost, your children are your main priority! I know its hard to leave when you love someone, i have been in your shoes.
One day i looked at my children and realized that THEY where the most important thing.
A man should never make you feel that way, ever. A man should never say nor act as though he likes one child but not the other. How can you stand for that. If he is not a kid person, you need to get your kids out of there. SERIOUSLY!I know, it’s hard to hear it when someone is telling you to leave, i know you are hoping someone will tell you to wait it out or a way to change him. You can’t change him, You have to make things better for yourself and children.
I just want to add, After I got out of my situation, I met a man who was wonderful and loved me for me. I had 3 kids with my previous husband and he is raising them as his own.
We have one child together and he has never treated them any different than his own. I am a stay at home mom and he supports us 100 % , he even has opened a savings account for all 4 of the kids and has them on his life insurance policy as well.
Someone is out there for you as well! -
Written by joedward6788 about 1 year ago.
Be very careful with your daughter, he may try to molest her.
Many males do that, always keep a sharp eye on her.Of course he will stay with you.You bought a house. Dump him before of one of you gets hurt, being your daughter mostly.
When a male drinks, that’s a bad sign, DUMP HIM.
If he molests your daughter, he can always blame it on the booze, bad excuse.
Of course he is treating you right, he wants something, he is putting up a front. He’s a phony. I say again, “DUMP HIM” -
Written by skwyrlnutt about 1 year ago.
its so hard to leave because you are used to putting up with his shat. you have kids….he’s not a kid person! that would be a red flag right there for me. however, my hubby was a closet coke head for a while until he confided in me & told me about it. once he told me about it, our world was turned upside down & still is. when he’s using, he can become very irritable & just wants to be left alone…which is hard to do when you live with someone & you have kids. i couldnt take the risk of him & his problem & all the shat that came with it, being around my kids. i booted him out…since december he’s been living with his grown kids. its not been easy & we are SLOWLY working things out. so i know where you are coming from. but as far as this man…if he is abusing you in any way & you keep allowing it to happen, its only going to continue & possibly get worse. he knew you had kids before you moved in together, im assuming, you are a package deal, just like i am, i have 2 boys. you have to put your kids first honey, you are all they have. maybe you should seek some counseling. also, i think hes on a power trip. you have your own house you say….go live in it! if he wants to see you, have him come to your house. if he starts his shat, tell him to leave. dont give up what you have for him, he obviously didnt give anything up for you?! you have yourself & your kids to think about! in a situation like this, of course hes gonna fill your head with all kinds of shat, to get you back. he’ll change for a lil while & then he’ll be back in the same routine in no time. since you have your own house…maybe you should try just dating again & then see if you really still love this man or if you are just so used to the situation you cant see your way out. i was like that…i saw the light & we’re all better for it.
i wish you the best & to be strong! -
Written by Nancy M about 1 year ago.
You need to end the relationship and move into your own home. You have bought the house so you and your children need to be there. You need to find a man who will like your children and not just the one. That doesn’t seem right. He sounds like he could end up being an alcoholic. I was married to a man who use to drink only on the weekends. The drinking got worse and he would drink most every night but the weekends.
-
Written by Mr. Ron about 1 year ago.
If you bought the house on your own, he’s perhaps wanting to reconsider his relationship as you’ll be providing him with a room over his head.
If he’s a binge drinker than there will most likely be problems further down the road. I’d think seriously of breaking off with him if I were you.
-
Written by verrico98 about 1 year ago.
Move into your house, if he gets help and improves you can reconsider living with him again. The fact that he does not like your son is not healthy for him or your son. You did the right thing. He wants you to stay now because your independence irks him. Saying he is going to get help and actually doing it are 2 different things. let him get it and hopefully it works.
-
Written by great pedestrian about 1 year ago.
You have no control over him so how do you go about having him change. You change and he’ll change. Pay attention to what you are thinking about and how that effects you.
Recent Posts
- How do i tell my partner i want to split up?
- My son cheated on his girlfriend and I caught him!?
- Senior week for 18 yr. old son?
- My mom is drunk, upset my son.. do you think she needs help?
- How do i get it through my son’s head that if he keeps up what he is doing he could hurt himself and lose…?
- Should my son be punished?
- Is it normal for a 24 year old to be friends with a 16 year old?
- Alcohol free, Perfume free, dye free Moisturizers?
- Alcohol Carding at grocery store?
- is my son a sociopath?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mom?
- Son left blue pen in a pocket and it ended up in the dryer, damaging a favourite sweater with ink?
- Mother trying to get her son back…HELP!!?
- Family issues with husband,son and myself?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mother?
Comments