but he is her son he have send her to the hospital many times all she says he is my son and he is 58 years old lives with her but does not help her in any bills of the house which he lives there with her 24/7 drinking alcohol but not pays any bills and send her to the hospital all the time she have heart problems and scares her what to do in this situation
i live in NEW JERSEY AND HE WORKS BUT DOES NOT HELP HER IN ANYTHING HE ALWAYS SAYS TO HER HE DOES NOT HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR BILLS BUT FOR ALCOHOL HE COULD
HE DRINKS IN HER HOUSE BECAUSE HE LIVES THERE AND HE DOES NOT WANT NOBODY TO VISIT HER OR GO BY THE HOUSE
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Written by sarah1 about 2 years ago.
Call the police – if you do not want them to know it was you, make an anonymous complaint. This lady deserves to be safe and if you know about what is going on, then you can help. If her son is not contributing to bills and things she will definitely not suffer without him. Do not confront him yourself, you need to be safe too. Good luck.
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Written by Johnny K about 2 years ago.
Call the local police department and talk to them (please do not dial 911, look up their local number). Siply explain the situation and ask for their advice.
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Written by Gary Oster about 2 years ago.
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Written by Just Joyce about 2 years ago.
Elderly abuse is like child abuse . . . Report it to the police immediately.
She has probably made excuses for him in the past, because he is her son. . . but this is wrong. . .. . if you see it, please report it yourself ! -
Written by heathernhoney about 2 years ago.
On behalf of this lady – contact your local branch of Al-Anon – the sister group for AA ……… they may very well have someone who can come and visit this lady in her home and offer her – at the very least, some support and understanding of the situation.
Other than that – if you know that he has physically attacked her – that is a criminal offence and should be reported. Whether she presses charges is – of course – a very different thing but it may just be a wake up call to him.
Leave her with some telephone numbers such as The Samaritans and the local police number …. and yours. Support her with your sympathy and company – but as she says herself – it is her son and she would, and may – die for him.
Good lluck – and good for you for caring.
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Written by MIL about 2 years ago.
That is a very tough situation, but you got to report it to the police or social services. The real old infirm elderly are like children they need some one to help and protect them
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Written by DeeJay about 2 years ago.
Call the Police.
Call Human Services – they will have an Adult and Aging Unit.
You are required by law to report abuse of another individual.
They will allow you to report anonymously.
Human Services is also required by law to investigate immediately and should take an officer with them.
They have on call worker 24/7.
Call now. Don’t hesitate.
I worked for the state for 16 years in the field of Domestic Violence.
This is family violence/abuse to be sure.
Police will know the phone number of Human Services and It will be listed in the phone book under the Government section..
DeeJay.
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Written by Savvy/Snuggie about 2 years ago.
A report to the Bureau of Aging would be in order. If she has been to the hospital a number of times with unexplained bruises and bumps, they should have picked up on the problem. So, as a concerned citizen I would recommend the above. Good luck.
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Written by David M about 2 years ago.
Elizabeth, if you live in the U.S., you are required to contact Adult Protective Services, which is a division of whatever state agency handles child abuse and neglect in your state. Since I don’t know where you live, I don’t know what you call this agency but it’s what we all used to call “Social Services.’ THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL. If you know about the mistreatment of this woman, you must report it. There is no liability to you if the accusaions cannot be proven. This woman will be frightened and may deny everything to keep from being taken from her home. 2nd-file a police report even if the police discourage you for any reason. The police have liability for failure to file a report. Suggest to the police they go speak with her unannounced. Third, contact any other family member or friend by checking with anyone who might know her: a grocier; a pastor; a doctor; anyone you can think of. If they agree with you, ask them to file reports, too. If they do not, list them as witnesses. Call your state government and ask for the State Agency on the Aging. Every state has such an agency. File a written report with them and copy your state Attorney General who may have an Elder Affair Division. Send a copy of that report to all the other agencies. In my state, I’d even send a copy to the Governor. We’re a small state with an active Governor and his office would follow up. Heatherhoney’s ideas have great merit if the woman is physically able to transport herself. If the son drinks at bars, I would not be reluctant to tell the police to watch for him at 11 pm Saturday leaving “Murphy’s Tavern.” Tell the cops he is danger to other drivers and they could be sued if they ignore your warning (that’s true). Put it in writing.
Your a good person. Thank you for caring. -
Written by caraohara about 2 years ago.
Don’t allow this to continue..you must contact ..some organisation dealing with the aged.. phone any welfare department, they will tel you what you can do and who to contact…this woman is not able to protect herself …she is afraid , os this man..you must help her…it is no different that helping a child that is being abused.
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Written by justlovinlife about 2 years ago.
Anyone who mistreats an elderly person, especially their own mother, is a worthless human being in my eyes. The fact that he is 58 years old, free-loading off her, and living in her house is pathetic. She may be allowing it to go on because she either doesn’t want to be alone, and/or is not well enough to live by herself.
The point is though, that this cannot continue. It is elder abuse, same as child abuse – neither can defend themselves! Someone has to step in and help this poor woman – she should not have to live out her final days in fear. We are supposed to protect the elderly, and put a smile on their faces. (I’m ranting because I am so angry – can’t help it!)
There should be an agency for the Aged in your area, such as Social Services. If there is nothing in your phone book, call the police and they will direct you to the right agency. Thank God for people like yourself, and thank you for caring enough to post your question here for assistance.
May God Bless & protect this woman!
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Written by redcore86 about 2 years ago.
buy her a 12 gauge pump shotgun or you can call the cops
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Written by gramof6 about 2 years ago.
She is in danger. Report it immediately to the police.I worked with elderly people and the thing is they won’t tell. They are misguided and don’t understand.I reported one and he did not like it one bit but tough .He should have thought of that.
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Written by Erin R about 2 years ago.
Thats wrong that this woman is being abused.Dosent matter whos giving the abuse to her. Its never ok. If I were you I would step in and do what I could to help protect this woman who either cant or wont protect herself. Look in your local phone book and you should be able to find abuse help numbers, senior help numbers, police, hospitals, etc.
Talk to everyone you can and get as much info on options and advice on what you should do as a concernd citizen who is aware of this situation.
Maybe you could also get him to go to a rehab or aadac or a shelter.
As long as shes okay with it then keep visiting her.
Talk to her and see what she wants mainly.
Does she want help, can she make decisions and express her wants and needs or is she getting too ill or old that she needs someone to step in and contact the proper people for her that she needs to survive?
If someone cant protect themselves and wants or asks for help or cant protect themselves and obviously is at a point where they cant make proper decisions or judge things normally anymore then the right thing to do is to make sure you step up and give them a hand to make sure they are where they should be. Like a newborn baby. If a newborn were being abused and you knew, what would you do?
If you dont do anything that baby cant do anything to protect itself. -
Written by Genie about 2 years ago.
Call the Dept of Family Services and the Police and report him if you think he is abusing her.
Bring some baked goods to their house and visit with them. (Not about the abuse, just talk to them like you would any other neighbor.) And do it regularly. -
Written by boogeywoogy about 2 years ago.
I could have sworn you are talking about my ex-brother! His abuse stopped only after my mom’s doctor reported him to APS and insisted she be placed in a nursing home. Fortunately I held DPOA for healthcare!
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Written by Granny J about 2 years ago.
I would call The Dept. of Human Services and lodge a complaint.
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Written by PIX-ED about 2 years ago.
Report this to the police.
Call elder abuse hot line and report it anonymously if you don’t want to be publicly involved.
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