What would you do if you found out your recovering alcoholic husband was now addicted to drugs?

13/09/2010 admin 10 comments

I have been with this man for 5 years, married for 3. I married him once he was 6 months sober. He has not touched alcohol in almost 4 years now, but has had a round of appx. 5 knee surgeries in the past year, and each came with a prescription of pain killers. Last surgery was 7-30 and he is still on and running out of pills. Now he’s taking anything he can get, even if it’s not for pain. He has turned into a mentally abusive man and we have a 4 month old son along with his 3 children from other marriages. I now have my own son to look out for and, being a Christian, don’t want my son around this behavior, but also have a problem with divorce. Now, everything is my fault and I’m some crazy womansince he’s started this nonsense. Now I’m taking care of the baby, the step-kids, the house, the bills, and making the money – he hurts too badly to go to work. I’m very confused and very hurt. I went thru all this before with alcohol. Sure don’t want to do it again with a new baby.

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM addicted, alcoholic, drugs, found, husband, recovering, would

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Written by CC about 2 years ago.

Before marriage, I would have questioned what it would be like married to someone who not only was an alcoholic, but why he has so many previous marriages. Those two would have been huge red flags for me…but, anyhooo, what’s done is done. Now he’s addicted to drugs. Well, you are going to have to make a decision. How long can you live like this, are you sure divorce is not an option and what kind of ultimatum can you give. I will tell you what I would do…”if you don’t get help for your drug addiction, I am leaving you.” End of story.

People who are addicted to one thing, tend to get addicted to other things to compensate.
Written by Mean Carleen about 2 years ago.

You have to decide if your going to stay with him or leave him. Either way he needs help. BUT unless he wants the help, its useless.
Written by ndnqt1966 about 2 years ago.

I think that I would have to leave……the thought of my husband giving up one bad habit for another is more than I can deal with it…..Seems like the burden of keeping the family going lies solely on your shoulders….so basically you are on your own anyways….but on the other hand…..I would feel that I need to be there for him…because we made vows to one another…..I am not exactly sure what I would do if I were in your situation……sure would be a tough place to be.
Written by Pammie B about 2 years ago.

Addiction is so messy! But unless he is aware he needs help and willing to get help. Its pointless for you to try. You need to think of yourself and the baby and the kids for now. Let him be concerned with himself and figure out if he doesnt get help soon that he will loose alot more than he can imagine.
Written by Lioness about 2 years ago.

Call his doctor and tell them the whole situation. Get him help or it is over for the relationship. you have to get him into a rehab or you will be going down the same path all over again.

God help you both.
Written by Nikki about 2 years ago.

Don’t put your baby in that position. He doesn’t deserve it and neither do you. I know someone very dear to me that is addicted to pain meds and it’s horrible. It’s something that is not easily given up. I think you should try a seperation.
Written by free_angel about 2 years ago.

I’d toss him out and have no problem with divorcing him.
Written by sparrow about 2 years ago.

if he has been given a reasonable amount of time to straighten up then you need to leave. I am a 54 yr. old and have raised 4 children and have been married for 28yrs. going through a marriage even when things are normal is hard enough.If he loves his family enough he will straighten up and if he will not then you deserve better.It will be a hard move on your part because he might be a person that cannot handle your decision.
Written by Tadpoler about 2 years ago.

You cannot help him, control him or change him. You must change.

I believe that you need to go stay with some family or friends for a while. You are taking care of everything which means that you are enabling this problem.

Of course he is blaming you. He is not facing up to his responsibilities as a man.

You need to get some help for yourself. You need to stay away for awhile. Please do this for yourself and the family. Does he have any family? Maybe you could try an intervention.

Good Luck and Take care of Yourself!
Written by teddyb about 2 years ago.

Deep down – do you love him? I am a christian also, and don’t like divorce – however throwing your life away may not be the best solution. Sacrifice is admirable as long as the recipient is not a perpetual taker! That’s the only way raising children works – you give, give, give – and someday they will move out and appreciate you.

If there is no love – divorce him and move on.

If you love him – get him help. Addictions are hard to understand. All addictions are replaced by something else – unfortunately your husband’s replacement is equally as bad. Also factoring in to his behavior is his “getting old”. It is tough for men to realize they are not invincible (knee surgury, etc). Get him help – love him through this, but set a limit to the number of years you will sacrifice.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

What would you do if you found out your recovering alcoholic husband was now addicted to drugs?

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