we’ve been to counseling, i’ve prayed about it, talk to my pastors about it, tried to get him some help that he don’t want , talk it over with him how i felt about it, stayed with him for ten years we’ve been married for five years, we have a son that is 7 years old he doesn’t even have sex with me anymore it’s been 4 months what should i do now i’ve been to the court seeking counsel with an attorney about seperation and divorce is there hope or what else can i do about this man of mine?
-
Written by New Nana about 1 year ago.
You are describing my past life. Honey, you deserve to be happy in this life. You CAN NOT change this man. I wasted my life for 13 years. He has to want to change. Get yourself the help YOU need. Its time to turn the other cheek and let him live in the alcoholic life he has chosen. You don’t have to. I left and divorced three years ago. My life is ecstatically happy now and he still loves his fifth of whiskey. At least he cant blame his drinking on our relationship any longer. Please find yourself help and get out of the dysfunction.
-
Written by Breanna C about 1 year ago.
Unfortunately, free will and all, alcoholics can only change if they want to. If he doesn’t perceive his drinking as a problem, he won’t quit. This said, you have control over you own life and what you can and can not accept in your relationship. You tell him how you feel about it, that you love him and hope that he will help himself, but that if he can’t you have to be able to make plans to be able to take care of yourself. Then do just that and leave the ball in his court. If you take the burden of his problems off your shoulders and just take care of yourself and your son, then he will make a choice between what is most important to him. But make sure that you take care of yourself in case he chooses the bottle.
-
Written by sharen d about 1 year ago.
Does he ever get abbusive?If so leave.You don’t have to put up with it.If he is not willing to work out
the marriage.Then it would be better to be separated.Make it known to him you will not live with him and his drinking.That he must get help. -
Written by Nena S about 1 year ago.
Accept that he is an alcoholic and that he will not change unless HE wants to.
I have seen the effort and sacrifice many women have made to try to make their marriages work in a situation like yours; but unfortunately things did not improve. So what I’d say is this: Start saving money; ask your family for help and support, and leave. Take your child with you and start a new life. Don’t feel bad or guilty about doing this, because God wants us to be happy and to have healthy relationships; He doesn’t want us to be miserable. He gave us free will to choose, but sometimes we make mistakes.
I know it is easier said than done; but I did it myself so I know you can overcome this. I had to evaluate if my own health and sanity – as well as my child’s well-being – were more important than to stay in a sad and sick marriage….And I did what was right for me and my kid. That was 4 years ago and my only regret is that I didn’t have the guts to do it sooner!
I am so much happier now…and so is my kid. We live in peace now.Take care of yourself – and remember: You cannot give what you do not have. You cannot be a good woman and a good mother if you are stressed out and unhappy. (Think about the role model your child is growing up with…Do you want him to repeat this pattern in the future ? I hope not!)
Good luck, honey. You will be in my prayers.
-
Written by petra about 1 year ago.
You already realized that your husband is an alcoholic. Now its your choice to either accept him as he is or leave and gt divorced. Addicts will change when they are ready, not because you or anyone else wants them to. You also may go to ALANON to learn not to rescue him. Good Luck.
-
Written by Mona Lisa about 1 year ago.
Al-Anon, Al-Anon, Al-Anon.
-
Written by frawlicious about 1 year ago.
Unfortunately not sweetie. He has to want to change for himself and if he doesn’t you are going to continue to go down this same road. Although it’s painful you are going to have to let him go. I wish you the best of luck!
-
Written by precious about 1 year ago.
You have done every thing humanely possible to help him now it’s time to let him go.He needs to take responsibility for him self. You can’t help a alcoholic he has to want to get better.Been there done that. Will never do it again.
Recent Posts
- How do i tell my partner i want to split up?
- My son cheated on his girlfriend and I caught him!?
- Senior week for 18 yr. old son?
- My mom is drunk, upset my son.. do you think she needs help?
- How do i get it through my son’s head that if he keeps up what he is doing he could hurt himself and lose…?
- Should my son be punished?
- Is it normal for a 24 year old to be friends with a 16 year old?
- Alcohol free, Perfume free, dye free Moisturizers?
- Alcohol Carding at grocery store?
- is my son a sociopath?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mom?
- Son left blue pen in a pocket and it ended up in the dryer, damaging a favourite sweater with ink?
- Mother trying to get her son back…HELP!!?
- Family issues with husband,son and myself?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mother?
Comments