He lost his cusines to foster care , his drug addict mom came back into his life and then in feburary of 07 his dad (who is biologicaly his grandfather) died. I know he is not a bad kid. The life he has had would be hard for an adult to cope with . he is doing what he feels he has to to survive. I need to know how to help him .there is alot more to his story i could right a novel . but any suggestions would help and please dont condem him . thats part of the reason he is where he is now .
he was not born to be bad
my parents adopted him from my sister they have had him since birth his real dad wants nothing to do with him
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my son and i have a very good relationship. he has always been able to come to me and answer me honestly. i had just picked him up from his best friend after spending the weekend. we went out to dinner and he was acting silly. i asked him if he ever smoked weed before. he said he tried it for the first time friday at his friends house. then he asked me if he was in trouble. i asked him the who, what, where, why, and hows. i did not get crazy because it’s more important to me that he feels that he can come to me. i did print some information about teens and alcohol and drugs. i would like some other things i could talk about that is not so textbook. straight to the point and hopefully he would so no if there is a next time. please help.
I am petrified that my son and his friend are alcoholics. I went to his apt and their fridge was full of alcohol. I had our priest call him to talk to him about it. Then he calls me up later and just explodes on me. He is like almost everyone my age I know drinks on the weekends thats what we do. Then he tells me that he is not a child and I need to back off and stop being so nosy. We tried so0 hard to raise him in a nice suburban christian neighborhood and now hes moved off into the filth of Chicago. He has black gangster neighbors and when I was there 2 of them walked in opened up his fridge and grabbed a beer. Then instead of reading up on his career or doing adult things they all just sit down and play his xbox. Then I saw my daughter on facebook and looked at his page and he had pictures of him always holding a beer and there were these black and Hispanic hookers in all these pictures with him. Instead of listening to my advice and going to a church singles group to find a nice christian suburban girl he hangs out with these trashy Chicago girls. Does he want to get arrested for gang activity and get STD’s from these filthy people he hangs out with? What is wrong with my son? Is there anything I could do about it?
I have made him leave home. I refuse to give him money. This hurts so badly. Does anyone have any ideas?
I brought him home once to try to help him dry out and get his life in order, but he used that as a way to do MORE dope and refused to do anything to help himself. After moving home he walked off his job. He is an adult so I can not make him go to rehab. He has to consent.
Here is a little background. His Father is consistently in and out of his life, he is also a alcoholic. My son is aware of this because his father feels the need to tell him about his drinking. So anyways, he ( his father) just showed up again out of the blue. At the same time this happened my son started displaying lots of anger and frustration. Yelling and screaming using words like I Hate …. also throwing things and hitting. This has been going on for a couple of weeks and I am at my wits end. Any suggestions will help. I set up an appointment for him to start seeing a counselor but am unsure about that to because I don’t want him at a young age to perceive that there is something wrong with him. I am a single mom of 2 other kids beside him, They seem to be handling everything ok but then who knows whats really going on in there heads either. My son seems to be the one acting out. He is such a great kid, funny, smart and very imaginative. I just want my sweet little boy back , and am a little lost on how to do that. thank in advance to anyone that has any suggestions.
My son who is 15 has a friend who is 22 and I know he buys my son and other minors alcohol on the weekends. What can I do? Can I report him even tho I don’t have any proof?
My ex husband is trying to turn my son against me, is an alcoholic and emotionally abuses him. My son is aware that the conversations are being taped for his protection. I am just doing this temporaily until I can get into court for supervised visitation.
My ex is an alcoholic..has been for years but I could never prove it..Well recently I have found somethings out that I didnt know before. Like on New Years Eve he was rushed to the hospital after passing out, spitting up blood, and then stopped breathing. When he arrived at the hospital he had a blood alcohol content of .386 (they just called it .4) Then last april I found out he was too intoxicated to take our son to the hosp. for stitches and the neighbor had to do it. The other day his new girlfriend called me at 9:30pm and started calling me names for no reason so drunk she was slurring and not making any sense. My son is very affraid of him and has told the school counselor this and that his dad drinks everyday all day. He makes 29 dollars an hour and hasnt made a house or truck pymnt in 3 months and keeps having his water shut off..what do you think my chances are of getting the supervised visits?
My husband (not my son’s father) died almost a year ago. He and my grown up son didn’t get along. When Tom died I moved from the family home into a small apartment in the downtown area for convenience. My son, who was an active cocaine and opiate user at the time moved in with me with my permission. I managed to help him get off the coke and he’s 3 months clean. However, he still uses painkillers on a daily basis. He’s on a methadone program but he supplements with the painkillers. I would like him to move on, stop using the opiates, get a job or go back to school and eventually become independent and willingly move out of my very small apartment into his own place.
He has lost 2 jobs, he has seperated from his family, he needs help and will not listen to me…HELP!
I have proof i paid 18K for his drug rehab can i claim anything on my taxes.
I asked my ex to leave many timeshe finally moved out last april. He was mentally&physically abusive. heis an alcoholic& abuses drugs. He saw his son up until Sept&thats when he stopped paying support. . i would fight for him to see my son& most the time went nowhere except for bringing down my mental health. My ex had agreed to allowing me to bring my son across the border to see my fiance whom is in the army. i stayed there for a month and we went back and forth to see my parenst and to stay in the states. each timei made sure i had my ex’s permission. he never called or cared to see his son. about a month ago i had to see my ex to have him sign a pape. my son was pointing syaing who is that. my son doesnt even know who he is. about 5 months ago icalled the police on my ex for coming in and assualting me. other day i had to call the police cause he called me and wanted to see my son & really had me scared. what are teh chances i can get sole custody &have his rights taken away?
my son has asked to go to an inhouse program. I have been unable to locate one that will treat kids. He has a history of adhd, cutting himself, and anger issues.
Ok…bare with me while I try to explain my problem in as few words as possible. 5 years ago, my “ex” left me and my kids with nothing. Without explaining our relationship, he was very manipulative and controlling and ended up with primary custody of the kids in summer of 2007. Please, please, don’t reply with any nasty messages about losing my kids!!! He had money and confidence, neither of which I had because of the marriage. Anyway, for the last year and a half, all three of my kids have been struggling with his relationship with his girlfriend, and the mother of their half sister. My oldest son (now 17) turned to drugs. I found out last summer, but he went into treatment and overcame it. Well, over the summer, he began having serious issues with his father, again. His father started drinking again, which causes him to become extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. My son got the brunt of the abuse! Being a senior in high school, his dad went and pulled him out of a movie in front of his friends because he didn’t know one of the kids. He locked him in his bedroom, took away phones, lights and even went as far as putting patio furniture in his window well so he couldn’t get out. He even went as far as telling my son’s girlfriend and her father that he cheated on her. So…my son relapsed (though I didn’t know this right away). After a week of torment, my son got some help and advice from the school liaison, eventually his father kicked him out and he’s now living with me. After two weeks, I woke my son up to find that he had OD’d on some otr medicine. That’s when I heard of all the stuff my son had been doing since those last weeks with his father up until I took him to the hospital. He admitted to me that he had been so hooked, he went as far as taking my prescriptions (which are now locked up), and even got so desperate, he used a bunch of nicotine patches to see if that would do anything for him. Yes…my son IS getting help!!!!! He’s been drug free thus far, but I do know it’s going to be a struggle for some time, so I continue to monitor him as much as I can without smothering him. Now….here’s my problem:
His fathers girlfriend was kicked out of their house about two weeks before my son. One week later, my son found out she was moved back in. He’s still angry, hurt and feels betrayed. I’ve had him seeing a counselor once a week. Now that we’re coming close to the holidays, his father has been calling me trying to get me to make my son call him. I can’t stress enough just how much talking I do with my son and am always trying to encourage him to talk to his dad!!! I never, ever demean his father or support his not calling him!!!!! But, I don’t MAKE him do it! I kept telling his dad that instead of using me as the middle man, he should send our son an e-mail to tell him some of the things he was telling me to tell him. Like….I’m sorry…..I thought I was doing a good job….I didn’t realize it was wrong, etc. Finally, tonight, his dad asked for his e-dress and sent him an e-mail. It wasn’t long, he didn’t really apologize but it was definitely heartfelt. (My son asked me to read it, I swear) Considering I know the man, I could definitely tell he put alot into the, albeit short, message. Just saying things like, “I miss you” “we would all like to see you for Christmas”, stuff like that. However, there was one sentence he tossed in there that upset my son. Something to the effect of “I have to accept that you will have to learn things on your own the hard way.” That bothered my son, thinking it was his dad’s way of not owning up to any responsibility. Since then, I’ve talked to my “ex” who is now mad at me because he knows my son has gotten the e-mail and hasn’t called or replied. I’ve been talking to my son and trying to get him to understand that he needs to at least write his father back. If he doesn’t want to get into any long conversation about his feelings, he should at least acknowledge his fathers attempt to talk with him, even if it means just writing and telling him he’s just not ready to talk to or see his dad, grandma or uncle (they too did some harsh things to him). I truly talked to him to get him to see why he should do it. Explain that he can’t keep hiding. While I’m still working on it, I’ve now had his father and another friend of mine tell me that, being my son is still a minor, I need to force him to reply! That being I’m the parent here, if he refuses to at least reply to the e-mail, I should threaten to take away his computer or ground him, or something like that?!!!!! Is this right?!! After a few more times of talking to him, he did eventually tell me he would think about it and that maybe he’ll do it before he goes to bed. But…..is it really right of me to force my 17 year old to talk to his dad who he feels hurt him? I’m stuck!!! I mean, if it were me, and I was the one he didn’t want to talk to, I wouldn’t feel any
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! The answers here have helped ease so much emotional stress!!! Now, I don’t feel obligated as a mother to make him do this!!! Thank you!!!
My son has been on a not eating binge for the last week or so. He eats a bite here and there, but, never a entire meal. Not even close to an entire meal! He is skinny already and don’t want him to lose any weight, but, I don’t want to give him junk either. I know he would eat the junk (chips, cookies etc.). I don’t think he has eaten anything except fruit and a few cookies in 2 days. He acts perfectly fine, just not hungry. Is this normal? Is it just a phase? Oh, he did eat 2 bites of a grilled cheese for dinner last night! Should I just wait it out or give him the stuff I know he will eat?
Yes, he does drink milk. He loves it. He would drink it all day if I let him. Sometimes I do.
Lately he’s been asking me for him and about him. I try to be very careful what I do tell him. His father is an alcoholic and has deteriorated in mind and soul. I eventually cut all ties with him when he could not stay out of prison for being out of control.That was 3 years ago.
My son lives with me and I found out he smokes marijuana, abuses cough syrup, and occasionally uses cocaine. I know he uses these drugs for sure and not sure about what other drugs he does that I do not know about.
He has dropped out of college and now is a bartender part-time and seems to have little motivation to do anything.
What is the best way to approach this situation?
my husband is an alcoholic and wants my son yto just entertain him , has no value for anything.my husband is a bad influnce but within these circumstances how to teach my son values of life.
My son has had an alcohol problems for seventeen years. He has survived three near death accidents, went through a six month rehab program, was clean for 1 1/2 years, and is now drunk again and unable to keep a job.
I have told him that “if this is the way you choose to live, I will not be part of it”. My problem is that, because twice I found him near death according to the doctors, I am afraid of not trying to keep in touch. He goes for days without answering his phone which I pay for because he has no one in his life anymore – not even a friend. I am afraid he will be found dead, and don’t know how I would handle the guilt an pain for not contacting him.
My 15 year old son has been asking for one beer per week. I have been giving him one beer per week. I have recently reconsidered this idea. I am conserned that he will have health issues in the future, and possibly become an alcoholic. I have heared in the past that alcoholism is Hereditary, However, I love my son, and I don’t want him to blame me in the future if he has problems. Remember, This is only one beer a week, not Spirits. Thank you for your input.
