How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

An illegal immigrant was free on bail awaiting a deportation hearing when he allegedly killed his teenage wife in Mahopac, a law enforcement official told The Journal News on Monday Paul Amay, 25, was detained by federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents after his release in March from the Westchester County jail, where he had served four months of a six-month sentence for driving drunk with his infant son in the car.
Amay was turned over to immigration officials on March 22, then freed by federal authorities after posting bail.
The deportation hearing was to decide whether he would be sent back to his native Ecuador. His next appearance was set for late January.
Amay has been in the United States at least since 2004 and had been arrested in Westchester at least four times for drinking in public and once for disorderly conduct, authorities said. Police had also responded to several domestic disturbances between him and his wife, Graciela “Gloria” Zhingri Amay.
Amay was arrested shortly after noon on Nov. 21, 2009, in Ossining after he was seen driving erratically. Police found his 7-month-old son unrestrained in the car and Amay’s blood-alcohol level was 0.29 percent, more than three times the legal limit for driving while intoxicated.
The arrest on misdemeanor charges of DWI and child endangerment came just a week after Gov. David Paterson signed Leandra’s Law, making it a felony to drive drunk with a child in the car. Amay would have been the first Westchester defendant charged under the law, but it did not take effect until mid-December, so he only faced misdemeanor charges.
When ICE agents learned Amay was in jail, the agency issued a detainer warrant so it would be notified when he was eligible for release. An order of protection, meanwhile, kept him away from his wife.

http://www.lohud.com/article/20101228/NEWS01/12280327/-1/NEWSFRONT/Mahopac-man-accused-of-killing-wife-was-facing-deportation

My step-daughter moved out west to be near her family who is trying, one last time, to help her get on her feet. Her deadbeat husband followed her out here and is now living in a shelter and gets food stamps and offers no support or help to his wife or his 3 small children, yet expects to see them and she allows it. He knows how her entire family feels about him and he avoids us like the plague. He’s not supposed to stay with her but we suspect he does from time to time. She got into a house recently that the local housing authority is paying the rent on and she is expected to at least get a part time job. She’s an emotionally abused woman and can’t turn him away because she feels he needs to see his kids. We have tried too many times to make her see what a bad influence he is. He does nothing but manipulate her and the system to survive and get what he wants. When he gets cleaned up and is responsible and his contributing THEN his reward should be to see her and his kids. She won’t give him that ultimatum. That falls on deaf ears. Nothing we suggest or share with her is effective. His presence may cause her to get kicked out of her home. He has arrest records and is wanted in another state for burglary and shoplifting. He’s actually skipped out on his parole and the police here and back there do know of his where-abouts but I guess he’s not important enough to extradite. He’s a drug addict and alcoholic who was even caught trying to steal beer from a local supermarket recently. My step-daughter was doing fine until the deadbeat showed up and now she can’t seem to move forward because he keeps interfering in her life. She may be spiraling out of control and the next step could be to lose her house and be on the street and the state would step in and take the kids. She has burned her bridges with her family for so many years. They have tried and tried and tried, spending thousands of dollars trying to help her but she messes it up over and over. She’s VERY stubborn and never listens to advice and has to learn everything the hard way. She’s 40 now and has nothing to show for her life other than 3 small children, whom she car barely handle and a deadbeat husband who showed up one day and is wrecking everything. I don’t know…maybe we should just sit back and let the chips fall where they may? That’s the only thing we haven’t done yet. Maybe she truly has to reach rock bottom for her, losing her kids, to make her see how serious the situation is.

mine died of cancer and blessed us with five small lots and an old mobile home. We live in this mobile now. My brother and his wife were infuriated and jealous and made it a point to hurt my husband and me in any way they could think of. They called CPS and accused my husband of molesting our nine-year-old daughter. (They were NEVER at our house!) My daughter was questioned by CPS and “they” determined that there was no evidence of molestation. DUH! We have grown sons and daughters and they were horrified that their dad and I went through this. This happened about two years ago, but it has come to my attention that this was kept in the files of CPS. WHY??? I am angry, upset, furious. No charges were ever filed against my husband. I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband works 12 hours a day in another town. He NEVER touched our daughter and never would. NO, I AM NOT IN DENIAL ABOUT THIS! Why does CPS keep something like this on record. What can we do? Anyone else had a similar experience?

My little brothers wife died during child birth about a month ago he is 24 and she was 22. Well it was a beautiful baby boy and he is so adorable. Well me and my older sister and my parents have been going over a lot to check on the both. He hasn’t really been bonding with his son at all and he often just sleeps for super long periods of time and leaves his son in his crib. I went over today and he was passed out with a few bottles of alcohol next to him and his son was screaming. I am worried about them both to be honest. Well i fed my nephew and got his diaper changed and got him dressed and was cuddling with him when my brother came to and i asked him if he wants me to take his son for awhile so he can work through his grief and he got raging pissed at me and cussed at me and told me to leave and that no one can take his son.I don’t know what to do to be honest i am worried about my nephews safety and well being but my brother wont let me help him out. Advice?

My wife and i been married for 10 years i came from a family of alcoholics my grandfather and father was both alcoholics they both died from it shes afraid that i might become one to i reassure her that won’t happen but she told me that she doesn’t want to lose me to alcohol we have a year old son together i don’t know what should i do?
we also have a 2 year old son

So last night my wife and I got into a screaming fight about my drinking. The details are kind of fuzzy, but evidently I got completely wrecked and grain alcohol and prescription painkillers and ended up vomiting on our infant son while he slept in his crib. Anyway, she totally freaked out and went to go stay with a coworker. I’ve left her dozens of voice mails but she’s not returning my calls. I know that I kind of messed up, but I think she is majorly overreacting. How can I force her to come home?

she keeps taking me back to court trying to get back custody of the kids.she is a alcoholic,my son just turned 17 and she got him from school and said he moving in with her even though i have custody of him and his sister.

We have been married 3 years and i have finally know that i have to quit alcohol and save me my marriage and for our 22mo old son. She will not go to counseling because she thinks that my problem is the whole thing. I take accountabilty for my mistakes and trully want us to work.

This disagreement is about our 20 year old son.He has been going out on and off with this girl to say the least she is a loon. She is depressed a Cocaine addict and Ecstasy addict.My son started to date her two years ago when she was 16 and her found out she was using drugs and she said she would quit, but of course she did not. They breakup due to her drug behavior like she cheats on him at a drug party and in a few months she gets into trouble and lonely because she either screwed up her current relationship or her friends had enough of her.They got back together in the end of september and it lasted until the beginning of december. When she was at my house i noticed she lost a lost of weight and she was shaking lot. My sons friends had to leave because she had an anxiety attack. This girl acted paranoid all the time and his friends told me she was having nose bleeds. Here is the disagreement between me and my wife,she thinks again in time this girl will want him back and this whole crazy cycle will start again. I think this girl has been addicted to coke and Ecstasy since she was 16 now she is just 18 and having nosebleeds lose of weight and acting paranoid. i believe that this girl does not have long to be on this Earth and not to be mean problem solved. my wife says i am wrong… am I ?

My wife stopped talking to her mom it’s been a few months now. She has done this before to her for three years. She has banned our son from seeing or talking to my mom, it’s going on three years now. And no my mom is not an alcoholic , drug user, child molester etc…..I feel that I have taken huge strides the past 3 months to make this marriage work, but she got angry when I asked her about a videogame my mom had bought our son 3 years ago. Apparently soon I discovered she has been throwing away toys and clothes my mom had given him. I told her instead of throwing it away. I will give it to someone that can use it. I told her it’s important that our son see that as adults we can resolve our problems and reach a compromise. On top of it she goes out of her way to treat my stepsister nice but at the same time she does things that is tearing us apart. She made a threat once and told me “no secrets with your sister”. Thanks for your time and sorry this is my only outlet.

My wife has been telling me to get help for a few years now, I really don’t think I have a problem though. I drink about 5-7 beers a day and a couple shots of patron, do I have a problem? I haven’t gone a day without booze for years, I don’t want my son to see me drunk all the time. There have only been a couple occasions where I cheated on my wife and didn’t realize it the next day. I would just find random text messages on my phone like “take care baby, call me again”. What should I do? Please don’t call me an alcoholic because im not! Thanks, -Geoff

My wife has been telling me to get help for a few years now, I really don’t think I have a problem though. I drink about 5-7 beers a day and a couple shots of patron, do I have a problem? I haven’t gone a day without booze for years, I don’t want my son to see me drunk all the time. There have only been a couple occasions where I cheated on my wife and didn’t realize it the next day. I would just find random text messages on my phone like “take care baby, call me again”. What should I do? Please don’t call me an alcoholic because im not! Thanks, -Geoff

him for 30 plus years after she became disabled to be with the newer younger blonde cocaine/painpill addicted model he has now??????

My wife is a meth addict I left her and took our sons because she is was using and would not even admit to having a problem. I have found her pipes and other evidence of the drug use. So after I left she said she was clean and doing well so I let her start taking the boys again, Well she comes to drop off our sons and we get into an argument and I tell her to leave. As she is leaving she threatens to burn my house down and I lock myself and our sons in the house and call the police and she starts to hit and kick my doors and windows. The police come and said she didn’t commit a crime. I know I don’t and won’t return the kids into her care but is it enough for a restraining order in California.

Her father is a career criminal that has been in and out of prison for the past 35 years. His offenses range from making meth to counterfeiting. Also a long history of making fake checks.

My wife seams to think that is it okay to have my son around him and I don’t. My wife has a serious gambling habit and has been “86″ from most of the casinos in our area. One casino sent a certified letter to us telling her she is not welcome on the property. I also had my bank call me and tell me that she was trying to cash a check she forged from my bank account.

My wife was supposed to take our son back yesterday but she never showed up and still hasn’t called (about 17 hours late so far). She is pro-per and I am trying to hire an attorney but haven’t yet because when she left she took every penny with her and left us dead broke..

There are many more disturbing facts but the ones I listed above should be enough to get custody I would think.

So my question is…can anyone give me advise on the best way to present my case and get custody of my son.

My wife was heavy into drugs before we met. She had my step-son, then a meltdown and went into rehab/therapy at that time (about 10 years or so ago). Since that time, she was an occasional pot smoker. I was under the assumption that she was done with drugs until after we were married. We went on vacation at our 1 year ann. and she smoked pot in front of me. When I pretty much lost it, we got into an actual physical confrontation. We talked a little more about it, and I told her my personal views on ALL drugs. Pot isn’t all bad, and I try to deal with the occasional time that I know she does it (never at home, nor tells me when). Just the other day, she told me that about a year ago, she went to an ex-friends house, and they were doing crack. She said she did some, and left about 45 minutes after. She does not deal with this person any longer. She didn’t mention any hesitation, nor did she apologize for it. Am I wrong to think that she should apologize for doing something that hurts us?
Sorry, there wasnt enough room for all of this. I am at the end of my rope with this. We do have an appointment that she finally made with a marriage counselor on Tuesday. Do I take this as a possible first step for her again? The larger dilemna is, do i treat this as the last straw and just leave? I know she is hooked on drugs for whatever reason-if there is a documentary on tv she will watch it, and she watches intervention almost religiously. The showtime series weeds, she is into that right now. She will say at least once a week how she wishes she had a joint, or how somethign would be better if she were stoned. I am SOO sick of it. I dont understand this at all, and i dont really want to understand it i guess.

My son was taken by child protective services last month when my wife attempted suicide. The child was placed in the care of my wifes mother, and I was not permitted to see him. Since, my wife has been released and was arrested on marijauna and cocaine charges. She is out on bail and living with her parents. The judge issued a no contact order against her, so she is not allowed to have contact with me. Because she is living in the same home as my son, I have not been able to have contact with him. I would like to file for divorce and get a custody order giving me visitation… or at least get temporary visitation through the court or child protective services. I am disabled and do not have the financial means to hire an attorney or even pay the court costs. My family has offered to help me, but I would have to move to Washington, yet I fear if I do so, I may never see my son again. I live in fulton county, OH.. is there any help out there?
Let me clear some things up… I was not around when they took my son, because I left him with my wifes mother to take my wife to the hospital for the suicide attempt. Child services gave my wifes mother temporary guardianship while I was at the hospital. Also, my wife does not have a protective order against me… the judge issued a no contact order on her. She can not contact me until her trial is over…. Im not sure why this was done. I could see my son until my wife went to live with her parents, now because of the no contact order, I cant go over there to see him. Also, I have to move because my wifes father is evicting my from the house… he owns the house my wife and I rented together.

my wife left me last november to go on a crazy drug and sex binge while lying to me about it so i would continue to support her. this summer she moved to colorado with her drug dealer boyfriend which ended with her on probation and being drug tested. i recieved a sorrow filled letter saying that she was sorry she hurt me and that she wanted to be my wife. i visited for halloween to take my sons trick or treating and the three of them and her parents were lobbying for me to move there and be a father and husband again, which is something ive always been very good at. i love and miss all three so much, my wife cried on my shoulder for a half hour the night i left and i know she knows she messed up. but she is still contacting a guy she was with during the seperation. all my family and friends advise me to stay away, but i miss them so much and want so badly to believe.

My ex wife and i are divorced because my ex got violent and became an alcoholic shortly after giving birth to my son. And well against my better judgment about a month ago i let my ex take my son and well she put him into the hospital for a week. And i have full custody of my son now. And now that my wife got married back in nov not my son’s mom someone different. Well she is pregnant now and i guess my son isn’t liking that at all he has started to act out horribly and he has never done that before. He and my wife get along great even after what his mom did to him but he is still somewhat skittish i guess the word would be. He will be turning 3 on the 20th of this month and i just don’t know where all this violence is coming from. Advice?

Briefly, my wife of 3yrs. & mother of my 2.5 yr.old, used crack cocaine. several x’s. now she says she has 60+ days clean. she just regained more visiting time for her 8 yr.old son which she lost 5yrs. ago, from prior heroin addiction. She’d been clean about 6yrs. prior. she’s now not allowed to see him by court order. she’s had both kids around drug users & dealers. when i was at work. she’s stole, lied, & cheated. she would’nt even keep a pt. time job, keep house clean & would’nt take very good care of our son. she’s bi-polar,depressed, on med’s for it. slept,smoked cig’s,talked on phone most of the day. i had to put him in daycare. she really did nothing. she’s now in her own apt. w/a female ex-felon (crack)w/a 15yr.drug use habit. I pd. for the first month rent just to get her out of the house. now she’s unable to pay rent. says she attends 2-3 N/A mtg’s. a day. Our son is w/me. she says she made a mistake.& wants to return home. how many chances does she have to get it right? w/me