How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My cousin and I used to be extremely close, best friends since pretty much since we were born…but things have changed since he started high school. He’s become increasingly rebellious and dark, sort of a loner holing himself up in his room to play (Insert random violent video game name here) and we never seem to talk anymore, he never seems to want to hang out and the way he acts, I don’t exactly want his company either…

Some of his recent choices have been, I’ll be blunt, pretty stupid…he used to be a total clown and fun to hang with, and now he’s incredibly irritable and has emotionally flat-lined. He’s also in a position of being the son of an alcoholic parent whose behavior has only gotten worse as time has passed on, and the two have frequently butted heads as of late. I just don’t know how to interact with him anymore, and I’ve only been honest with him about how he’s changed like two times… we used to talk and share everything with each other and now it’s like he won’t have anything to do with me…I’m a little hurt and very worried about what goes on behind closed doors, and truly want to be there for him, but how can you help someone who won’t acknowledge you?

(Sorry I typed so much)

So my high school reunion is coming up so I’ve been trying to catch up with some of my old high school friends I saw my old friend (lets call him) “Derek” on my-space and we got to chating online. He sent me pictures of his 3 sons and I sent him pictures of my two boys. The first thing I noticed about his son is that he had Fetal alcohol syndrome, so I have not responded to his email because I just don’t know what to say to him, obviously his exgirlfriend must have drank while she was pregnant, so I asked a mutual friend just now on FB and she said “oh yah I heard Derek’s ex-girlfriend was a big time alcoholic she had to be hospitalized for alchol poisoning twice when she was pregnant.” now I just don’t know what to say to him. Do I acknowledge that he has FAS and ask about it, or do i wait for him to bring it up? when he does bring it up how do I handle it, I mean I don’t want to get judgmental because honestly I don’t know how he could have stayed with her and had 2 more children after the first had FAS
the friend on FB that I asked is also his best friend and godmother to his children not just anyone.

Also I can’t really play dumb because I have a degree in abnormal psychology and biology so I know a thing or two about FAS
I don’t think i’m really getting the answers to my question.

i feel as though i’m just getting a bitch rant I think I should ask again in the morning

So my high school reunion is coming up so I’ve been trying to catch up with some of my old high school friends I saw my old friend (lets call him) “Derek” on my-space and we got to chating online. He sent me pictures of his 3 sons and I sent him pictures of my two boys. The first thing I noticed about his son is that he had Fetal alcohol syndrome, so I have not responded to his email because I just don’t know what to say to him, obviously his exgirlfriend must have drank while she was pregnant, so I asked a mutual friend just now on FB and she said “oh yah I heard Derek’s ex-girlfriend was a big time alcoholic she had to be hospitalized for alchol poisoning twice when she was pregnant.” now I just don’t know what to say to him. Do I acknowledge that he has FAS and ask about it, or do i wait for him to bring it up? when he does bring it up how do I handle it, I mean I don’t want to get judgmental because honestly I don’t know how he could have stayed with her and had 2 more children after the first had FAS
the friend on FB that I asked is also his best friend and godmother to his children not just anyone.

Also I can’t really play dumb because I have a degree in abnormal psychology and biology so I know a thing or two about FAS
I don’t think i’m really getting the answers to my question.

i feel as though i’m just getting a bitch rant I think I should ask again in the morning

Is there any other place in NW IN that has a good dual diagnosis program? He has been clean for four months but is depressed and ready to relaspe.(cocaine and/or heroin was what he used to self medicate.)Has low self-esteem, doesn’t care about anything,carries alot of guilt, and shame for things he’s done to self medicate. Newlywed since May/wonderful girl, new father to a baby girl/October and has a really good job that he likes in sales. Everything to be greatful 4-she/we(family) have alot of trust issues with him as he used to take his checks from previous jobs and go on binges or steal from us. His father is an alcoholic/drug addict. I divorced him when he was 9. He has a loving a and supportive family and a step father that has been there 4 him 4 9 yrs. My son is 25. Has been through alot of jobs until he found this one. Haven’t been able to find a doctor to treat his depression, they always address the substance abuse and not the depression. Need help.

So my high school reunion is coming up so I’ve been trying to catch up with some of my old high school friends I saw my old friend (lets call him) “Derek” on my-space and we got to chating online. He sent me pictures of his 3 sons and I sent him pictures of my two boys. The first thing I noticed about his son is that he had Fetal alcohol syndrome, so I have not responded to his email because I just don’t know what to say to him, obviously his exgirlfriend must have drank while she was pregnant, so I asked a mutual friend just now on FB and she said “oh yah I heard Derek’s ex-girlfriend was a big time alcoholic she had to be hospitalized for alchol poisoning twice when she was pregnant.” now I just don’t know what to say to him. Do I acknowledge that he has FAS and ask about it, or do i wait for him to bring it up? when he does bring it up how do I handle it, I mean I don’t want to get judgmental because honestly I don’t know how he could have stayed with her and had 2 more children after the first had FAS
the friend on FB that I asked is also his best friend and godmother to his children not just anyone.

Also I can’t really play dumb because I have a degree in abnormal psychology and biology so I know a thing or two about FAS
I don’t think i’m really getting the answers to my question.

i feel as though i’m just getting a bitch rant I think I should ask again in the morning

So my high school reunion is coming up so I’ve been trying to catch up with some of my old high school friends I saw my old friend (lets call him) “Derek” on my-space and we got to chating online. He sent me pictures of his 3 sons and I sent him pictures of my two boys. The first thing I noticed about his son is that he had Fetal alcohol syndrome, so I have not responded to his email because I just don’t know what to say to him, obviously his exgirlfriend must have drank while she was pregnant, so I asked a mutual friend just now on FB and she said “oh yah I heard Derek’s ex-girlfriend was a big time alcoholic she had to be hospitalized for alchol poisoning twice when she was pregnant.” now I just don’t know what to say to him. Do I acknowledge that he has FAS and ask about it, or do i wait for him to bring it up? when he does bring it up how do I handle it, I mean I don’t want to get judgmental because honestly I don’t know how he could have stayed with her and had 2 more children after the first had FAS
the friend on FB that I asked is also his best friend and godmother to his children not just anyone.

Also I can’t really play dumb because I have a degree in abnormal psychology and biology so I know a thing or two about FAS
I don’t think i’m really getting the answers to my question.

i feel as though i’m just getting a bitch rant I think I should ask again in the morning

So my high school reunion is coming up so I’ve been trying to catch up with some of my old high school friends I saw my old friend (lets call him) “Derek” on my-space and we got to chating online. He sent me pictures of his 3 sons and I sent him pictures of my two boys. The first thing I noticed about his son is that he had Fetal alcohol syndrome, so I have not responded to his email because I just don’t know what to say to him, obviously his exgirlfriend must have drank while she was pregnant, so I asked a mutual friend just now on FB and she said “oh yah I heard Derek’s ex-girlfriend was a big time alcoholic she had to be hospitalized for alchol poisoning twice when she was pregnant.” now I just don’t know what to say to him. Do I acknowledge that he has FAS and ask about it, or do i wait for him to bring it up? when he does bring it up how do I handle it, I mean I don’t want to get judgmental because honestly I don’t know how he could have stayed with her and had 2 more children after the first had FAS
the friend on FB that I asked is also his best friend and godmother to his children not just anyone.

Also I can’t really play dumb because I have a degree in abnormal psychology and biology so I know a thing or two about FAS
I don’t think i’m really getting the answers to my question.

i feel as though i’m just getting a bitch rant I think I should ask again in the morning

Is there any other place in NW IN that has a good dual diagnosis program? He has been clean for four months but is depressed and ready to relaspe.(cocaine and/or heroin was what he used to self medicate.)Has low self-esteem, doesn’t care about anything,carries alot of guilt, and shame for things he’s done to self medicate. Newlywed since May/wonderful girl, new father to a baby girl/October and has a really good job that he likes in sales. Everything to be greatful 4-she/we(family) have alot of trust issues with him as he used to take his checks from previous jobs and go on binges or steal from us. His father is an alcoholic/drug addict. I divorced him when he was 9. He has a loving a and supportive family and a step father that has been there 4 him 4 9 yrs. My son is 25. Has been through alot of jobs until he found this one. Haven’t been able to find a doctor to treat his depression, they always address the substance abuse and not the depression. Need help.

Is there any other place in NW IN that has a good dual diagnosis program? He has been clean for four months but is depressed and ready to relaspe.(cocaine and/or heroin was what he used to self medicate.)Has low self-esteem, doesn’t care about anything,carries alot of guilt, and shame for things he’s done to self medicate. Newlywed since May/wonderful girl, new father to a baby girl/October and has a really good job that he likes in sales. Everything to be greatful 4-she/we(family) have alot of trust issues with him as he used to take his checks from previous jobs and go on binges or steal from us. His father is an alcoholic/drug addict. I divorced him when he was 9. He has a loving a and supportive family and a step father that has been there 4 him 4 9 yrs. My son is 25. Has been through alot of jobs until he found this one. Haven’t been able to find a doctor to treat his depression, they always address the substance abuse and not the depression. Need help.

He’s 56, been unemployed (by choice – he quit his last job over a year ago and did nothing to find work). He’s an alcoholic. He’s fixing to lose his house, his phone has been cut off, he has no money, he’s pawned everything and is now calling me to help. He’s made up a story that he’s got lung cancer and he’s dying to get sympathy. He’s never gone to a doctor to get it confirmed yet used this excuse to sit around his house doing nothing. He still smokes and drinks. I was giving him a little bit of money for groceries but realized I’m just enabling him. I’m scared he’s going to show up on my doorstep wanting to a place to stay. I’ll have to turn him away because I cannot allow him to ruin me and my son’s life. I’ve worked too hard for the things I have as a single widowed mother. I’m disgusted my brother has done nothing for himself and asks for my help. I can’t bring myself to help him anymore. He has sat around doing nothing for himself over a year and now he’s lost it all. He has no money to his name whatsoever. Anyone else dealt with an alcoholic family member this bad off?

i already have a family of my own. but because we don;t have a nanny to look after my almost 2 yr-old son, i and my hubby bring him to my parent’s house everyday, then fetch him after work, then head home.

it’s okay coz my mom loves taking care of my son, so as my dad. they love my son so much and i am so thankful for that. but my dad is a chronic drinker, he is an alcoholic. I tried talking to him once to stop it, but refused to continue on the topic.

One time, my younger brother said our dad spunk my son because he was too drunk. i never told my hubby about it because I know he will be furious. I told my mom about it coz she didn’t know about it until i told her. she said she will talk to my dad.

Btw, my dad is a kind person, he is a good grandfather and loves to play with my son, but he changes when he’s drunk. I told my mom i will not bring my son to them if that will happen (the spunking) again. But i have no one to look after my son, coz my hubby’s parents are separated and is not living in our city.

I dnt know what to do with my dad, coz my mom is already tired and exhausted talking to him and begging him to change.

Is there any other place in NW IN that has a good dual diagnosis program? He has been clean for four months but is depressed and ready to relaspe.(cocaine and/or heroin was what he used to self medicate.)Has low self-esteem, doesn’t care about anything,carries alot of guilt, and shame for things he’s done to self medicate. Newlywed since May/wonderful girl, new father to a baby girl/October and has a really good job that he likes in sales. Everything to be greatful 4-she/we(family) have alot of trust issues with him as he used to take his checks from previous jobs and go on binges or steal from us. His father is an alcoholic/drug addict. I divorced him when he was 9. He has a loving a and supportive family and a step father that has been there 4 him 4 9 yrs. My son is 25. Has been through alot of jobs until he found this one. Haven’t been able to find a doctor to treat his depression, they always address the substance abuse and not the depression. Need help.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the guys who were “after him” and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs and was asking for his number and was rude to my ex and acted like he should be afraid of him. This scared me!

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

If I did decide to go through the courts what is the likelihood that I could get supervised visitation for him and my son… so that I don’t have to deal with him? It would just be my word against his. Couldn’t he deny ever admitting this stuff to me and then the courts might grant him overnights or something??? Just scared and would like to know what I should expect as far as custody, visitation, etc if the courts knew his current situation.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the guys who were “after him” and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs and was asking for his number and was rude to my ex and acted like he should be afraid of him. This scared me!

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

If I did decide to go through the courts what is the likelihood that I could get supervised visitation for him and my son… so that I don’t have to deal with him? It would just be my word against his. Couldn’t he deny ever admitting this stuff to me and then the courts might grant him overnights or something??? Just scared and would like to know what I should expect as far as custody, visitation, etc if the courts knew his current situation.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the mexican mafia and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs (meth) and was asking for his number and rude to my ex and acted like my ex should be afraid of him.

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

I wonder if he’s even clean at this point and how I should handle the situation… for my son’s sake.

I’m looking for some answers on how to help my brother.He is an alcoholic and is drinking again.He has a 2 year old son and a fiance.His fiance is probally going to leave him now and take there son but, everyone in my family is always worried about my brother, what is he going to do?How much is he going to drink, is he OK.I’m afraid that if we leave him alone he is going to hurt himself or someone else. He is a great liar, he hides his alcohol, have no idea where. I just want to make sure I take all steps in trying to help him incase something bad does happen, I don’t want to have this guilt left on me, that I didn’t try.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the mexican mafia and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs (meth) and was asking for his number and rude to my ex and acted like my ex should be afraid of him.

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

I wonder if he’s even clean at this point and how I should handle the situation… for my son’s sake.

I’m looking for some answers on how to help my brother.He is an alcoholic and is drinking again.He has a 2 year old son and a fiance.His fiance is probally going to leave him now and take there son but, everyone in my family is always worried about my brother, what is he going to do?How much is he going to drink, is he OK.I’m afraid that if we leave him alone he is going to hurt himself or someone else. He is a great liar, he hides his alcohol, have no idea where. I just want to make sure I take all steps in trying to help him incase something bad does happen, I don’t want to have this guilt left on me, that I didn’t try.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the mexican mafia and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs (meth) and was asking for his number and rude to my ex and acted like my ex should be afraid of him.

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

I wonder if he’s even clean at this point and how I should handle the situation… for my son’s sake.

My ex didn’t come around for the past 6 months only to suddenly decide on my son’s 4th birthday that he wants to be involved again. We weren’t married so there’s no custody order or visitation set up through the courts. I filed for child support about 3 months ago after I hadn’t heard from him for a while. He still hasn’t been served the papers because he’s evading the guys who are trying to serve them.

He admitted that the reason he wasn’t coming around was because he got “mixed up with the mexican mafia” and things went bad. He says he’s been doing meth but that he’s not addicted and it’s just something he’s been doing to lift his spirits because he’s been depressed with where his life is at.

He says that he’s straightened things out with the mexican mafia and that he quit doing meth a couple weeks ago on his own. He has pending court charges for marijuana transport but says he’s getting off with a slap on the wrist because it’s his first offense. He’s also driving around with a suspended license due to unpaid fines. (He TELLS me all of this).

I offered to meet him at a park and have him hang out with our son there for an hour while I read a book in the car, since I know my son has been very hurt by his absence and has wanted to see him. Well, when we were leaving the park a creepy big gang-banger ex-con looking guy walked up to my ex and was obviously on drugs (meth) and was asking for his number and rude to my ex and acted like my ex should be afraid of him.

Now my ex is texting asking when he can see our son again. I am at a loss. I don’t know this man anymore and he’s gone so far downhill it’s scary. I don’t want to deny my son SAFE access to his father, but I don’t want to deal with my ex on a regular basis and listen to the sob story he tells to make his bad choices okay.

I wonder if he’s even clean at this point and how I should handle the situation… for my son’s sake.