How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My son is 13 and says the reason he wants to move in with his dad is he never gets to see his dad when he visits with him on the weekends because he works and most of the times during the week he works later than normal. When I talk to him about this the only reason he wants to live there from what he has told me is because he can’t see him all the time because he is working. His father moved in with another woman and her son about a year ago. A few months after that my sons dad let his girlfriends son call him dad since his dad wasn’t involved in his life. I think about 3-4 mths later my sons dad was saying that our son wanted to move in with him. Several months have gone by and now the same issue has come up again. My sons dad is an alcoholic and drinks all the time and when he is in the car with my son. I have already told him how I felt about this and he still does it. My son has alot of freedom when he is at his dads and when he comes home is very tired and doesn’t want to wake up for school the next day. And then he tells me they either stayed late playing video games or didn’t go to sleep at all. My son needs structure in his life and I don’t want to keep him from his dad but I also don’t think it is a good idea to live with him. I said he can see him anytime he wants and spend his summers with him. I feel alot has to do to the fact that the girlfriends son lives there all the time and calling him dad and that is a big issue for my son even though he says he doesn’t have a problem with him. Please help I am not sure how to approach this or how to talk to my son about it.

Her older son lives with her ex boyfriend.
Her youngest son is in juvenile because he has a nasty attitude.
Her daughter is with foster parents cause Debbie was once a cocaine addict.
Now she wants another child, which of course I don’t hold her for her past mistakes. But I am a little worried though cause her and I are two people just starting our relationship.

So, my MIL comes over the other day, I was at home from work not feeling good (7 months prego). So she says she wants to talk to me about baby sitting the baby when she’s born. She says that my husband already told her no, (she starts crying) and says she totally capable of watching the baby, are we really not going to let her? So I tell her, well we really haven’t talked about it, I don’t know who were going to get to watch the baby.
A little history- this woman only works part time, she is ALWAYS hitting my husband up for money (she’s single) if not him, then his brother. She has mentioned baby sitting to me before, saying “oh well when the baby comes I won’t have to work cause I’ll baby sit the baby”. I always igonored her when she said this. How does she think she’s going to LIVE?
Ok, back to last week. So she tells me well I was thinking I could watch her (Mon – Thurs) and you guys could pay me $150 and you guys will just have to get someone to watch her for Friday. (So I’m thinking in my head, $150 a week or every 2 weeks?) And I was like well I really don’t know, we haven’t talked about it and honestly if I find a family member to watch her, I’m only going to be paying family no more than $50-$80 a week. And she says, oh no I can’t do it that cheap (now I know she means $150 a week). Then she says well I figured if you guys pay a professional day care that you guys will pay more than a hundred! Ahhh hello! She’s comparing her crack head a** to a professional liscenced day care, and still wants to be paid more to watch her only grand daughter (we have a son that she does not watch). I was so appalled, I haven’t even told my husband because I don’t even know how to say it without telling him his mom f*ckin smokes crack on the daily if she thinks were paying her that much to watch our daughter! Am I crazy or is this woman a lunatic? How can I tell my husband, and how can we tell her to go to hell in a nice way… remember she was crying when she was telling me all this! And he’s a sucker for his crying mother!

Sorry so long…..

My son is 13 and says the reason he wants to move in with his dad is he never gets to see his dad when he visits with him on the weekends because he works and most of the times during the week he works later than normal. When I talk to him about this the only reason he wants to live there from what he has told me is because he can’t see him all the time because he is working. His father moved in with another woman and her son about a year ago. A few months after that my sons dad let his girlfriends son call him dad since his dad wasn’t involved in his life. I think about 3-4 mths later my sons dad was saying that our son wanted to move in with him. Several months have gone by and now the same issue has come up again. My sons dad is an alcoholic and drinks all the time and when he is in the car with my son. I have already told him how I felt about this and he still does it. My son has alot of freedom when he is at his dads and when he comes home is very tired and doesn’t want to wake up for school the next day. And then he tells me they either stayed late playing video games or didn’t go to sleep at all. My son needs structure in his life and I don’t want to keep him from his dad but I also don’t think it is a good idea to live with him. I said he can see him anytime he wants and spend his summers with him. I feel alot has to do to the fact that the girlfriends son lives there all the time and calling him dad and that is a big issue for my son even though he says he doesn’t have a problem with him. Please help I am not sure how to approach this or how to talk to my son about it.

Okay, this one is a bit tricky folks…
I left when I was pregnant with my daughter and had a 2 year old son. I have had to deal with my ex husband totally ignoring our daughter’s existence for the past 7 years but wanting to have visitation with our son only. Paternity test done so no doubt about him being her dad. I moved out of state about 3 years ago, and have had to drive several hours up to drop off son on Friday night and then back Sunday night every other weekend with BOTH kids with me because I didn’t have anyone to watch my daughter. Ex husband would be within inches of our daughter each and every time and not even say hello or look at her. My ex husband was ordered into counsling to deal with this issue at time of divorce, because he stated then that he wanted no contact with her, but wanted to remain in his son’s life. He has not followed that order. I have begged him both on phone and written long letters over and over to be in his daughters life, to no avail. I recently stopped taking my son up there and told my ex that until he gets help I am no longer going along with this patholigical behaviour. I realize this means my son is without his dad, but overall my son seems to be okay because I have been totally honest and open with him and his sister and my son seems to be more concerned about his little sis and her well being,then not seeing his dad. So the question is, is am I wrong for suspending the visits with the father with my son? I just can’t take it anymore of going up there and my ex acting like his beautiful little girl isn’t even there in the room. I don’t have anyone to watch her so this is NOT an option. Even if I did, I feel like me continuing to support this jerk choosing only one of his children makes me accountable to my children for not stopping this sickness. My ex is an alcoholic as well. I already know that I am in violation of the divorce order but so is he, so that is not really my concern as much as the emotional/psycological aspect on my kids. I have both kids in counsling now since I made this decision to help them with this totally tremendouslly painful issue. I would like to hear from both dads and moms and your opinions about my choice to cut off the contact. I am not able to afford another attorney at this time, knowing that this WILL need to be addressed again in court, but for now I am just biding time. I am hoping to force my ex into getting the help he needs if he wants to be reunited with our son. I truly DO NOT mean to use my kids as weapons or pawns…I just don’t know what else to do after dealing with this in the hopes that their father would come around for 7 long years but still with no hope in site of any kind of reconsilliation. He absolutly totally refuses to be in her life in any respect…what else am I to do?

we have 2 boys (13, 16) i’m scared they’ll be influenced as dad is mad about this son.

after he gets off of probation in Jan 2011. He was on probation for assualt charges and it was a felony. He knows he cant ever have firearms, but is he allow to drink after he is off probation. He lives in NH

Basically, Obama is currently trying to push through an all inclusive bill protecting human rights. I have no problem with this except for one small part. There is an addition to this bill that prohibits a parent from invading their child’s privacy.

So basically this means if my son/daughter is smoking crack, having sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or getting ready to blow their brains out I can’t kick in the door to stop them without telling the police and getting a warrant. And before anyone starts saying that I’m going over the top the bill clearly states, “A parent may not invade or violate the privacy of anyone living within the household for any reason that might want to be kept private.”
Source:

www.msn.com/news and www.cnn.com

I found them yesterday.

We live in Michigan… I was hoping we could do this without an attorney since all parties are willing to do this…. My husband is the only father my daughter has known(she’s only 5) and her bio -dad had been in prison and/or jail for the last 4 years… He finally realizes he isn’t a “father” for her and wants my husband to be her real dad now.we’ve went to court several times proving my ex is not a fit parent.(domestic violence against my son, broke a glass on his head, drugs, strong armed robbery, assaulting police offer, malicious destruction of property, stalking, the list goes on… Now he is finally taking the childs own well being into consideration….. I want to get this paperwork going asap, before my ex goes on another crack binge and changes his mind.. any advice?? thanks

my son’s bio father is in jail and has been since my son’s second birthday in 2005.he went in on murder charges but they have now been dropped and he may be getting out in few months to a year.i have seen him smoke crack,sniff cocaine and drink excessive amounts of alcohol in front of my son when he was only newborn.i left when my son was four months old after he started abusing my son and steeling the money my dad had put in my babies piggy bank.he never wanted to see my son and he never called or anything so i went after child support,which he nevr paid.now he has gotten himself a lawyer to try to not have to pay child support at all.he says he is going to be better but i know better.my husband has had my son since he was eight months old and is the only father he knows.they are very close and there is a baby brother on the way.my son thinks his last name is the same as me and my husband and my unborn child and i want my husband to go ahead and adopt my little boy.

I had a special needs child going through some tough times and thought it would be better if my youngest son went and stayed with my brother. I am asked by my brother for money for food, clothing and when my child is sick I have to take him to the Dr. I don’t mind because he is my son. I am not an alcoholic or drug addict. He is not happy there. My brother has lied to him about me trying to turn my son against me. Please help