We have been together 6yrs living together for 3yrs and have a 1yr old son together we are not married. I want to break up with him and move out with my son but don’t know how to begin the conversation. I want to split up because of his alcohol intake during the weekends as he says very nasty things and am sick of it he puts his alcohol and computer games 1st and he is 40yrs old!! im 26
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I have a five year old son. His biological father died when he was barely a year old from an alcohol induced accident. His father was an alcoholic, didn’t do anything with him or for him and only pretended to be the model father in front of family and friends. He was also very verbally abusive. I have tried over the years to keep in contact with his side of the family and I get a Christmas card if I am lucky. His own Grandmother, who begged me to stay with her after he passed, makes no attempts to keep in touch with him. The last time I called all of them they all told me that they couldn’t afford the long distance phone bills, so I would have to call them if I wanted to talk to them. My current husband is the only father my son has known or even remembers. I have shown him pictures on regular occasions of his biological father, but he still says it’s Daddy and points to my husband. I understand it still may be too early for him to comprehend the situation, but this is where my dilemma comes in. My husband doesn’t want me to ever tell my son about his birth father. I don’t know if it’s because he is worried about him looking at him differently or one day walking away to try and be close to his biological family. I told my husband that one day I was going to explain to him what happened and talk to him about his biological father, even though he wasn’t the best person in the world. He is upset and thinks I should never bring it up to my son. I have always planned on telling my son because he is his birth father. Can a few people leave their thoughts for me, serious thoughts please, and let me know if they think I am wrong for my reasoning?
We had the granchildren this weekend and I love them dearly but they absolutly Drove me insane with the WHINING I”M BORED. They have TV, Books, Movies, Playstation 2, Computer, and bikes, and 2 acres of yard.We do many Crafts when they are here. I made them Doll houses from Cardboard, and then halloween decorations, and Christmas decorations. We makew all sorts of stuff together.But I am running out of Ideas. that can interest a 6,8 and 12 year old. And still I’M Bored every 5 minutes. We painted Halloween decorations. Lasted maybe 2 hours and back to I’m Bored. The Boy will be 12 halloween morning, He is in the gifted and talented class I am not sure why. He can’t add 10 and 10 and get a right answer. But he is in 5th grade and is supposed to read at an 8th grade .level. But yet asks how to spell simple words. The second girl is in 2nd grade and she is even worse.The 3rd one had to repeat kindergarden. They have toys out the but, has their own TV and video movies and never turns on the TV. Thye have a bicycle, a swingset, and take them to the library and get them books they never read them after we check them out. She whines all day long. they would be great if they could be in School 7 days a week. Their mother is a lazy piece of work. She works 2 to 10 at night. And when she is home either has a cell phone growing out of her ear or her nose stuck in the computer.And ignores the kids.they have to find things to amuse themselves. And Their dad our son is an alcoholic. If he is not at work from 7 a.m until lord knows what time he gets home. He goes through 2 cases of beer a week.So they are watched by their Aunt that lives with them All she wants to do is abuse them. And screams at her 2 all day long. But I need to find something to keep them busy when they come over. That is low cost and entertaining.
I have called Social services on their Aunt So many times. I have truned her into the police, and the cops have been to their house at least 6 times in the past year. Their father and a friend of his got drunk, got into a fight, his friend attacked our son and the guy hit him in the ear they were both arresrested for Battery 3rd Degree. Then his same friend tried to commit suicide out their last weekend with the kids there. The ambulance was called Cops came out still nothing done. But the children talked about it all weekend. With daddy drinking, Mommy ignoring them, And Aunt yelling at them. I pulled in to get them Firday noght and the 3 of them ran and got in my truck the Adults never even came out to see who was there and got the kids. I called them when I got home and told them kids were with me. They never even answered the door when I rang the bell. The kids said Aunt was busy and mom was sleeping, and dad was not home yet. Real worried I guess.
Like I think its totally inappropriate. There will be lots of 18-21 year olds there including my husband (the guest of honor), myself (a girl with a tummy “full of babt lol), and friends. My husband made a friend at his US ARmy Training Base so he decided to spend his two week Leave with our us because he only has a step dad and him mom had him out of wedlock. Anyway, first I don’t think it is ethical to give guests of any age alcoholic beverage unless they can show us a plan for how they intend to get home without driving. How do I tell them it is not a good idea?
Making things short as possible:
I have had full custody of my son since he was a year old. Father has not wanted much to do, has been abusive and neglectful in the past to both me and our son who is now 6. I had a restraining order against the father and then had him arrested again for violation of that restraining order. This was in the beginning of 2004. Father was then arrested twice in March 2004, once on cocaine charge and another for fleeing and eluding a police officer on a 1 ½ mile chase going 105 mph. He was arrested and charged, but was already on probation. Some how he only received house arrest for these things.
Anyway, even though the grandparents have always enabled their son, my sons father, they have always protected my son and put his best interest at heart. I agreed to let the supervised visitation be within the grandparents house under the supervision of the grandparents. Still his father didn’t want much to do with our son. Well, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. He hasn’t ever gave him a bath, got him ready for bed, put him to bed or any of those things. Eventually, the order was changed allowing the father visitation rights without supervision from time to time as mutually agreed by me. He went on to sometimes spending time with him to all of a sudden spending time, then taking him to his girlfriends house to sleep over with her son behind my back. I didn’t make any issue out of it until my son told me that he wasn’t fed all day, daddy was bye bye and his girlfriend was sleeping. So, my son and this two year old were left unsupervised and unfed. I immediately contacted the grandparents and THEY told the father that my son would have to stay with them.
So, a long time went on now my son is six. Dad has all of a sudden been spending time with our son again. He has a new girlfriend again, so evey time he gets a new one, he tries to act like the all American dad. Anyway, I haven’t said anything to him. I have always encouraged a good healthy relationship. Well, the dad always seems to mess up. The past few times my son spent with his dad the following has happened:
My son has been saying the F word and a couple other swear words. He doesn’t hear it in our house. I think that I have respectfully done my best to raise him right so far and he is a great kid. My son informed me that his dad says those words all of the time and my son actually asked him if he would stop saying those bad words. Fathers response to that was, “I will say whatever the heck I want to” I don’t grill my son when he comes home. He and I have a wonderful relationship. A few other issues I have are: His dad told him that the cops have been following him and around eveywhere and my son has told me that a cop followed them to the store and daddy’s girlfriend yelled at the cop for harrassment. The last time my son was up there, I picked him up and he told me that daddy kicks girls. He said that his daddy and his girlfriend got into a huge fight and his girlfriend was crying and yelling not to kick her. This is not safe and not a happy environment that my son is used to. I hate to be mean, but no wonder my son calls me and says that he is home sick. I have always encouraged him to go up there but from now on I think I will let it up to my son and will tell the grandparents that dad is not to take my son by himself. Any suggestions??
Everything was always fine when the dad was not allowed to take him places, but then he wouldn’t spend time with him which I am starting to believe that is what’s best. I won’t leave it up to my son. I will do whats best. Thanks for the advice except for Spike. Yeah, very uncalled for. So, you blame the good parents instead of the bad parents that choose not to change? Sounds like my sons father. Yep, you are just like him. A LOSER!!!
Everything was always fine when the dad was not allowed to take him places, but then he wouldn’t spend time with him which I am starting to believe that is what’s best. I won’t leave it up to my son. I will do whats best. Thanks for the advice except for Spike. Yeah, very uncalled for. So, you blame the good parents instead of the bad parents that choose not to change? Sounds like my sons father. Yep, you are just like him. A LOSER!!!
my husband is an alcoholic and he’s mean to me when he drinks he always tries to bring me down he’s he always comes on to my best friend i don’t know what to do i love him but his drinking is too much for me to handle
my husband is an alcoholic and he’s mean to me when he drinks he always tries to bring me down he’s he always comes on to my best friend i don’t know what to do i love him but his drinking is too much for me to handle
my husband is an alcoholic and he’s mean to me when he drinks he always tries to bring me down he’s he always comes on to my best friend i don’t know what to do i love him but his drinking is too much for me to handle
my husband is an alcoholic and he’s mean to me when he drinks he always tries to bring me down he’s he always comes on to my best friend i don’t know what to do i love him but his drinking is too much for me to handle
A son’s letter to Daddy..
A father passing by his son’s bed room, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we would be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son,
Derrick
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on my desk. I love you!
my husband is an alcoholic and he’s mean to me when he drinks he always tries to bring me down he’s he always comes on to my best friend i don’t know what to do i love him but his drinking is too much for me to handle
My son is on their honeymoon and wants to live with them. The new wife has a lot of money and a fancy black sports car which I cannot compete (nor do I want to) with. My 12 year old son is enamoured with this new life style. How do I cope with the pain?
A very pretty 49 yrs old> looks like a barby doll> Has 2 precious sons> A mother and sisters who love her dearly, >,, But to no avail. Won’t or Can’t stop.
My friend and i moved into a house about 4 months ago because she decided she wanted to leave her boyfriend who is also the father of her 4 year old son and a meth addict because a new man came back into her life. so i gave up moving to washington to help her out because she was not financially stable so i paid for all the moving costs and the deposit and first months rent until she got on her feet and starting helping and i thought i was doing the right thing because she would do it for me. but then she changed and all she cared about was her boyfriend and made me feel unwelcome in my own home. also her family is always here because she cant afford daycare so 2 weeks out of the month my house is over-run and i cant even watch tv. i want to move out but dont know how to tell her and feel bad because she has no where to go and no financial stability and bad credit but i dont want to live here and i have been disrespected so many times and lied to by here i just cant stand it…
Ok so let me start off by saying I am a mother of 5 boys (only 3 live at home now) and my husband is starting to become a heavy alcoholic. I had a hip replacement on November 1st and now my world is falling apart because of this self centered jerk that I married. My oldest son that lives at home is 19 years old and was just discharged 3/4 of the way through Marine Boot Camp because he tore his rotator cuff. He has been actively seeking employment but there are NO jobs around here. He has given me money for rent (even though I told him it wasn’t necessary) and has been there for me 24/7 taking care of the other kids and me while my husband pisses his life away. My husband had medical problems a few years back and went on unemployment/disability after 32 years of working for our local city. Since then he has taken up drinking (getting much worse), smoking, gambling (which he is lying about but I’ve been finding receipts), and a ‘part time’ job where he’s gone from 6am-6pm (doesn’t help at all with our kids…only my 19 year old does).
Last night my 22 year old and him got in it, and he started throwing dishes and breaking things. My 22 year old (like my husband) has always had anger problems so I just told him to leave for now. My 19 year old called the police but hung up when my 22 year old left and my husband went outside. My husband came inside got in my face and started screaming at me and even shoved me (I almost fell when here I just had a hip replacement). My 19 year old saw this and pinned his dad against the wall and said “You can f*cking yell at me all you want like a Drill Instructor, but you will NOT lay a finger on anyone here. I was in boot camp long enough to learn how to fight and unless you wanna pick yourself up off the floor, you better back the f*ck off!” My husband stormed off, and later came in the house and said we are kicking our son out tomorrow or he’s calling the police and having him removed. Can he do that if my son is the only one taking care of me and my kids? I agreed that next time it got that I want him to have the police come and arrest my husband. I’ve had many talks with him about his path to self destruction but he is only getting worse.
I don’t know what to do. I am an emotional wreck and I can tell that this situation is pushing my 19 year old to the edge because he can’t even focus on getting his shoulder fixed so he can re-enlist. What do I do if my husband tries kicking out my 19 year old?
LAST QUESTION- If I divorced him, would I be able to keep the house if MY dad (who is very wealthy) took over the payments until I can get back to work and help pay???
We live in Iowa if that makes any difference.
Ok so let me start off by saying I am a mother of 5 boys (only 3 live at home now) and my husband is starting to become a heavy alcoholic. I had a hip replacement on November 1st and now my world is falling apart because of this self centered jerk that I married. My oldest son that lives at home is 19 years old and was just discharged 3/4 of the way through Marine Boot Camp because he tore his rotator cuff. He has been actively seeking employment but there are NO jobs around here. He has given me money for rent (even though I told him it wasn’t necessary) and has been there for me 24/7 taking care of the other kids and me while my husband pisses his life away. My husband had medical problems a few years back and went on unemployment/disability after 32 years of working for our local city. Since then he has taken up drinking (getting much worse), smoking, gambling (which he is lying about but I’ve been finding receipts), and a ‘part time’ job where he’s gone from 6am-6pm (doesn’t help at all with our kids…only my 19 year old does).
Last night my 22 year old and him got in it, and he started throwing dishes and breaking things. My 22 year old (like my husband) has always had anger problems so I just told him to leave for now. My 19 year old called the police but hung up when my 22 year old left and my husband went outside. My husband came inside got in my face and started screaming at me and even shoved me (I almost fell when here I just had a hip replacement). My 19 year old saw this and pinned his dad against the wall and said “You can f*cking yell at me all you want like a Drill Instructor, but you will NOT lay a finger on anyone here. I was in boot camp long enough to learn how to fight and unless you wanna pick yourself up off the floor, you better back the f*ck off!” My husband stormed off, and later came in the house and said we are kicking our son out tomorrow or he’s calling the police and having him removed. Can he do that if my son is the only one taking care of me and my kids? I agreed that next time it got that I want him to have the police come and arrest my husband.
I don’t know what to do. I am an emotional wreck and I can tell that this situation is pushing my 19 year old to the edge because he can’t even focus on getting his shoulder fixed so he can re-enlist. What do I do if my husband tries kicking out my 19 year old?
LAST QUESTION- If I divorced him, would I be able to keep the house if MY dad (who is very wealthy) took over the payments until I can get back to work and help pay???
We live in Iowa if that makes any difference.
Ok so let me start off by saying I am a mother of 5 boys (only 3 live at home now) and my husband is starting to become a heavy alcoholic. I had a hip replacement on November 1st and now my world is falling apart because of this self centered jerk that I married. My oldest son that lives at home is 19 years old and was just discharged 3/4 of the way through Marine Boot Camp because he tore his rotator cuff. He has been actively seeking employment but there are NO jobs around here. He has given me money for rent (even though I told him it wasn’t necessary) and has been there for me 24/7 taking care of the other kids and me while my husband pisses his life away. My husband had medical problems a few years back and went on unemployment/disability after 32 years of working for our local city. Since then he has taken up drinking (getting much worse), smoking, gambling (which he is lying about but I’ve been finding receipts), and a ‘part time’ job where he’s gone from 6am-6pm (doesn’t help at all with our kids…only my 19 year old does).
Last night my 22 year old and him got in it, and he started throwing dishes and breaking things. My 22 year old (like my husband) has always had anger problems so I just told him to leave for now. My 19 year old called the police but hung up when my 22 year old left and my husband went outside. My husband came inside got in my face and started screaming at me and even shoved me (I almost fell when here I just had a hip replacement). My 19 year old saw this and pinned his dad against the wall and said “You can f*cking yell at me all you want like a Drill Instructor, but you will NOT lay a finger on anyone here. I was in boot camp long enough to learn how to fight and unless you wanna pick yourself up off the floor, you better back the f*ck off!” My husband stormed off, and later came in the house and said we are kicking our son out tomorrow or he’s calling the police and having him removed. Can he do that if my son is the only one taking care of me and my kids? I agreed that next time it got that I want him to have the police come and arrest my husband.
I don’t know what to do. I am an emotional wreck and I can tell that this situation is pushing my 19 year old to the edge because he can’t even focus on getting his shoulder fixed so he can re-enlist. What do I do if my husband tries kicking out my 19 year old?
LAST QUESTION- If I divorced him, would I be able to keep the house if MY dad (who is very wealthy) took over the payments until I can get back to work and help pay???
We live in Iowa if that makes any difference.
I spent two weeks with my son earlier this Summer. Of course, I pay my child support each month and all that stuff. Still, I live about five hours North of him, and I don’t see him every day or even every week. I was homeless for four years, and now I’m not homeless any longer. I can’t seem to get my driver’s license, because I don’t have the money to pay the $800 fine. I’m sort of in a tight right now, and I don’t know what to do. My son is ten years old, and I’m afraid we’ll end up copying what happened between my Dad and I. I never spent a lot of time with my Dad either. I love him and all, but he’s past 70 now, and I feel we lost a lot of time. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I’m afraid I’ve become my Dad. My son lives with his mother, and I don’t have the financial means to move back down south of the State. I just don’t want him to think I don’t love him. I mean, I feel like we don’t even know each other much. I bought him a big computer for his birthday in June, but I know money doesn’t buy love. I use to be an alcoholic and drug addict. Then I got saved–Born Again–and I never drank again or did drugs. I just feel like I’ve lost a lot of time. What should I do? It doesn’t seem like I can be the Dad I want to be. It’s like we have separate lives. I just feel like I’ve failed with my son. I just hope he knows I love him. I hugged him when he was here, and he hugged me back. His Mom is a Liberal, and she runs an entirely different type of household. She’s a California girl, and I was a Georgia boy. I just hope things work out where maybe my son and I can one day have some sort of constant communication. Life is tough, you know? Right now, I’m just trying to get situated financially, you know? Maybe get a real life–right? Just wondering if anyone is going through the same thing, and how they cope with being so far away from their child. Makes you feel guilty, ya know?
I spent two weeks with my son earlier this Summer. Of course, I pay my child support each month and all that stuff. Still, I live about five hours North of him, and I don’t see him every day or even every week. I was homeless for four years, and now I’m not homeless any longer. I can’t seem to get my driver’s license, because I don’t have the money to pay the $800 fine. I’m sort of in a tight right now, and I don’t know what to do. My son is ten years old, and I’m afraid we’ll end up copying what happened between my Dad and I. I never spent a lot of time with my Dad either. I love him and all, but he’s past 70 now, and I feel we lost a lot of time. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I’m afraid I’ve become my Dad. My son lives with his mother, and I don’t have the financial means to move back down south of the State. I just don’t want him to think I don’t love him. I mean, I feel like we don’t even know each other much. I bought him a big computer for his birthday in June, but I know money doesn’t buy love. I use to be an alcoholic and drug addict. Then I got saved–Born Again–and I never drank again or did drugs. I just feel like I’ve lost a lot of time. What should I do? It doesn’t seem like I can be the Dad I want to be. It’s like we have separate lives. I just feel like I’ve failed with my son. I just hope he knows I love him. I hugged him when he was here, and he hugged me back. His Mom is a Liberal, and she runs an entirely different type of household. She’s a California girl, and I was a Georgia boy. I just hope things work out where maybe my son and I can one day have some sort of constant communication. Life is tough, you know? Right now, I’m just trying to get situated financially, you know? Maybe get a real life–right? Just wondering if anyone is going through the same thing, and how they cope with being so far away from their child. Makes you feel guilty, ya know?
I have a five year old son. His biological father died when he was barely a year old from an alcohol induced accident. His father was an alcoholic, didn’t do anything with him or for him and only pretended to be the model father in front of family and friends. He was also very verbally abusive. I have tried over the years to keep in contact with his side of the family and I get a Christmas card if I am lucky. His own Grandmother, who begged me to stay with her after he passed, makes no attempts to keep in touch with him. The last time I called all of them they all told me that they couldn’t afford the long distance phone bills, so I would have to call them if I wanted to talk to them. My current husband is the only father my son has known or even remembers. I have shown him pictures on regular occasions of his biological father, but he still says it’s Daddy and points to my husband. I understand it still may be too early for him to comprehend the situation, but this is where my dilemma comes in. My husband doesn’t want me to ever tell my son about his birth father. I don’t know if it’s because he is worried about him looking at him differently or one day walking away to try and be close to his biological family. I told my husband that one day I was going to explain to him what happened and talk to him about his biological father, even though he wasn’t the best person in the world. He is upset and thinks I should never bring it up to my son. I have always planned on telling my son because he is his birth father. Can a few people leave their thoughts for me, serious thoughts please, and let me know if they think I am wrong for my reasoning?
