How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My alcoholic ex-friend wants visitation with his 4 yr. old. His wife finally couldn’t take his drinking & lying anymore. He drives drunk & wants to pick up his son for visitation. I babysit this precious child whilst Moms @ work & am really worried about Dad showing up. He’s mad @ me because I’m helping & backing his wife in this case. He hides alcohol & we never know what he’s going to do. Serious answers only please.
The little boy has a speech problem so won’t be able to call or ask for help.

I am about to file for divorce & NEED to prove my husband is an alcoholic & will put our 3-year-old’s safety at risk. I know most judges will rule the alcoholic can’t drive the child or have him overnight, but I have no proof that my husband is a drunk!
He drinks at his home & doesn’t drive much. He hides vodka in his laptop bag so he can drink at work, but hasn’t been caught yet. Strangely enough, he is a brilliant IT director & very respected!
I know for a fact that he drink around the clock because he has physical withdrawals if he goes without alcohol one day. He physically can’t avoid alcohol in order to have visitation since he gets violently ill, so I know he’ll drink while caring for my son (even if the jugde orders him not to).
Since he has no DUI offenses & hasn’t lost jobs due to driking, what else can I do to prove he is an alcoholic & that he will put our son’s safety in danger?
BTW, he has driven my son while drunk…I just don’t have evidence to show the court.
I’ve thought of calling the cops when he leaves here drunk, but I doubt they will locate him while he’s on the road. They’d have to respond within seconds to catch him driving away.
I’ve also considered hiring a private investigator to track him & get proof, but doubt I can afford it.
Wow, there are some very angry people attacking me! He wasn’t an alcoholic when I met him 10 years ago. The drinking has become a problem the last 2 years.
The reason I am divorcing him is so MY SON won’t have to suffer life with his alcoholic father in the home. I also can’t stop my husband from driving him while drunk!
How dare anyone say I’m the one who is hurting my child. Divorce is incredibly painful for all of us, but in the end I have to protect my child!

I am about to file for divorce & NEED to prove my husband is an alcoholic & will put our 3-year-old’s safety at risk. I know most judges will rule the alcoholic can’t drive the child or have him overnight, but I have no proof that my husband is a drunk!
He drinks at his home & doesn’t drive much. He hides vodka in his laptop bag so he can drink at work, but hasn’t been caught yet. Strangely enough, he is a brilliant IT director & very respected!
I know for a fact that he drink around the clock because he has physical withdrawals if he goes without alcohol one day. He physically can’t avoid alcohol in order to have visitation since he gets violently ill, so I know he’ll drink while caring for my son (even if the jugde orders him not to).
Since he has no DUI offenses & hasn’t lost jobs due to driking, what else can I do to prove he is an alcoholic & that he will put our son’s safety in danger?
BTW, he has driven my son while drunk…I just don’t have evidence to show the court.
I’ve thought of calling the cops when he leaves here drunk, but I doubt they will locate him while he’s on the road. They’d have to respond within seconds to catch him driving away.
I’ve also considered hiring a private investigator to track him & get proof, but doubt I can afford it.
Wow, there are some very angry people attacking me! He wasn’t an alcoholic when I met him 10 years ago. The drinking has become a problem the last 2 years.
The reason I am divorcing him is so MY SON won’t have to suffer life with his alcoholic father in the home. I also can’t stop my husband from driving him while drunk!
How dare anyone say I’m the one who is hurting my child. Divorce is incredibly painful for all of us, but in the end I have to protect my child!

When my husband and I started dating his son was still an infant. He kicked his ex girfriend out finally because she was abusive. Punching him in the faace over and over until he bled from his eyes and one night it was so bad he almost died. She was really bad with cocaine, crack and smoking weed so he just said this is not the environment our son needs and I honestly don’t even love you enough to make something like this work. Unfortunately for me this situation did not get any better. In the last almost 4 years I have had to deal with her being homeless, finding her a place to stay, making sure that I tucked in her son every night and told him that I loved him and mommy loved him too just so he wouldn’t wonder why mommy hadn’t called or came to get him in three weeks, I’ve delt with her crazy screaming fights over my husband trying to look out for the best interests of his child. She is honestly completely insane and has many many many mental problems. She has a very long history of abuse with her family and witnessed her father kill her mother so it’s understandable that she would be a little off balance, but I have taken up her slack and raised her child to what he is. We have custody and when she is stable enough we trade him off every other week so she gets him an equal time, but she is barely ever stable enough to do this. She just called today to get him for the weekend because she said she just got a new apartment. This will be her 6th home in 4 months and it’s beginning to confuse my step son. He will go by his old homes and think she still lives there and want to see her, or go to her old jobs and think she still works there and cry until we go in so he can see she isn’t there. She hasn’t been able to keep a steady living environment because she is hooked on drugs so bad she can’t keep a job. She is about to probably go to jail for shopliffting fromher last job. She says she doesn’t do drugs around her son and that when she has him he is safe and happy. I honestly don’t believe it. i have had to buy groceries for her before because she couldn’t feed him. Or go out and buy clothes for him just so she would have something for him to wear. I’m just honestly getting tired of it all. my husband wants his son to have his mother because he never really had his and mine was absent for a very long time. but this environment is not good for him at all. I want my husband to make it so she has to have special visitation rights until we know that she is stable enough to care for him and I’m not sure how to go about saying this to him. He’s afraid she will take off with his son and honestly he is probably right and she would try. I just am at a loss as to what to do.
The only thing on her record is a possession charge from two years ago and then the most recent shopliffting so proving all of this to a judge would require some witnesses. it’s possible but my husband and I both have such a hard time with the idea of dragging such a little boy through this. I feel bad to say it but I do hope she goes to jail for shopliffting and hopefully it straightens her out.

When my husband and I started dating his son was still an infant. He kicked his ex girfriend out finally because she was abusive. Punching him in the faace over and over until he bled from his eyes and one night it was so bad he almost died. She was really bad with cocaine, crack and smoking weed so he just said this is not the environment our son needs and I honestly don’t even love you enough to make something like this work. Unfortunately for me this situation did not get any better. In the last almost 4 years I have had to deal with her being homeless, finding her a place to stay, making sure that I tucked in her son every night and told him that I loved him and mommy loved him too just so he wouldn’t wonder why mommy hadn’t called or came to get him in three weeks, I’ve delt with her crazy screaming fights over my husband trying to look out for the best interests of his child. She is honestly completely insane and has many many many mental problems. She has a very long history of abuse with her family and witnessed her father kill her mother so it’s understandable that she would be a little off balance, but I have taken up her slack and raised her child to what he is. We have custody and when she is stable enough we trade him off every other week so she gets him an equal time, but she is barely ever stable enough to do this. She just called today to get him for the weekend because she said she just got a new apartment. This will be her 6th home in 4 months and it’s beginning to confuse my step son. He will go by his old homes and think she still lives there and want to see her, or go to her old jobs and think she still works there and cry until we go in so he can see she isn’t there. She hasn’t been able to keep a steady living environment because she is hooked on drugs so bad she can’t keep a job. She is about to probably go to jail for shopliffting fromher last job. She says she doesn’t do drugs around her son and that when she has him he is safe and happy. I honestly don’t believe it. i have had to buy groceries for her before because she couldn’t feed him. Or go out and buy clothes for him just so she would have something for him to wear. I’m just honestly getting tired of it all. my husband wants his son to have his mother because he never really had his and mine was absent for a very long time. but this environment is not good for him at all. I want my husband to make it so she has to have special visitation rights until we know that she is stable enough to care for him and I’m not sure how to go about saying this to him. He’s afraid she will take off with his son and honestly he is probably right and she would try. I just am at a loss as to what to do.

my son’s father is a pathalogical liar and uses his children as pawns in his chess game of…getting attention from women, lying, cheating, etc. he’s has a serious selfish problem. he and i were together for six years and in those six years he subjected his children to at least 2 other women and their kids. Now he’s attempting to subject my son to his “new” girlfriend who he met in AA. she’s a pediatric nurse mother of three and a Narcotics Addict. the last girl he cheated on me with thought he lived alone and had this little old dog, for a year he lied to her and continuously took his three kids (one of them, my 3 yr old son) over to her house. While in wal-mart one day, his oldest son, Jamesy asked him, “Daddy, why do you lie to lizzy about where we are going? Daddy why do you live with lizzy when you are seeing Dawn” he told jamesy, “i promise james, i’ll quit cheating on lizzy” at the same time he was buying flowers and asked jamesy to give them to dawn so it looked less romantic and cuter. she bought it. she and i met when he finally checked into detox. Alcohol is just one outlet of his manic ways. he’s up right now and living in vegas “acting” like he’s a changed man. But he’s left two voicemails in the last week and i can tell he has been drinking again. he’s now got his new girlfriend harassing me over texts. i want him to have “supervised” visitation if any at all. right now his eldest son is in counseling at school. he’s 9. he has panic attacks over his dad. he loves his daddy but his daddy has asked him to lie and keep quiet about where they go etc. he’s tells a good lie. i’m afraid the mediator will give him unsupervised visitation when he comes to visit from vegas. we’re in illinois. what are the chances that i can prove he subjects his children to immoral situations. what do i have to do to get my ducks in a row to prove his judgement is impaired. do i need statements from past women, his ex-wife, his eldest son’s school counselor? right now it just looks like we’re all angry women. but i’m trying to protect my child from being hurt like his eldest brother is hurting. HELP.