My son will be 15 months when he has to be left for the first time. We have never left him before with anyone. He is going to be staying with my mum and dad, who we dont really trust but there is no one else. I have friends but they dont have kids and sort of panic when he starts to cry.
Anyway, we are nervous about leaving him with my parents because
1) my mum drinks, a lot. I have never known her not to drink. I asked her to take me to afternoon/evening antenatal classes when i was pregnant with him as i didnt like driving and i didnt have my own car. And she said no and my dad ended up just dropping me off/picking me up. And you know why, because as soon as 3pm hits she HAS to pour a glass of red wine and she continues to pour glass after glass of wine until about 7pm after she finishes eating dinner she stops drinking.
2) Both my mum and dad smoke, my dad claims he has given up, but im not sure if he has or not. My mum is a heavy chain smoker, she smokes atleast a pack a day, if not a pack and a half. I dont want my son around all that smoke and chemicals and yukness. They have promised not to smoke inside while looking after him, but i dont believe it. When i go there in weekends with my son, if he goes down for a nap in the bedroom, they think its ok to smoke in the living room! I have said that i dont want him around it at all. And they said they promise to smoke outside
3) My mum goes to bed VERY early, like 7.30pm-8.30pm, 8.30 would be the latest i have ever seen her go to bed, she said she usually goes to bed around 8. I myself stay up late, to around 10.30-12 at night. My son goes to bed anywhere between those times too, usually around 11pm. I know its late, but it works for us as my fiance works evening/night shift so doesnt get home until 12-2am, so we all get a nice sleep in in the mornings.
4) The sleeping issue would be ok, because my dad stays up late usually. However he is not very confident around my son, like he will play with him for maybe 15 minutes max before he carries him back to either me or my fiance. I think he is just nervous. I tell him to read him a book, play peek a boo, or put on one of my sons dvds to watch together and try and encourage their grandad/grandson bonding time, but he still seems very scared. So i wouldnt want him to have to look after my son on his own
5) My mums hygiene standards are almost 0! If my son drops food from his high chair. A piece of fruit or a chicken nugget for example, she just puts it back up on his plate for him to eat again! Also if she changes his nappy, she doesnt clean his bum properly, i always have to tell her to wipe right up his crack and spread his cheeks apart to make sure he is completely clean. I have gotten him home before and changed his nappy and he still has poo around his bum!
We will also have to leave him with them some other time in november as im due with our second baby on the 18th. I know im probably being a bit over the top. But i just really want/need to know that he is going to be safe and well looked after. I will take his usual toys, some of his favourite books, dvds and pjs and a blanket so he still has all his home comforts. I would rather they look after him at our house, but we have 2 big dogs and well my parents dont like them. So thats not an option.
So if anyone has any tips/advice id love to hear from you.
