I have recently divorced. My children 22 (daughter, married) and son 18 (lives with his sister) are so disrespectful to me. Especially my daughter. She calls me for advice and when I give it to her she lashes out at me making me feel inadequate. You see, I am financially challenged to say the least and have been since my divorce. My credit was wrecked by my prev. alcoholic husband and I am struggling to keep my head above water and to re-establish my credit. The reason I am telling you this is because my 18 year old is trying to get a car and they are both making me feel guilty that I can not help. My daughter did this also with her wedding. I feel so badly about this but can do nothing. My father tries to help them but on his terms. They want him to help them on their terms. They are disrespectful to him as well. All they care about is material things. I must not have been a very good mom. What should I do to gain their respect???
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I have recently divorced. My children 22 (daughter, married) and son 18 (lives with his sister) are so disrespectful to me. Especially my daughter. She calls me for advice and when I give it to her she lashes out at me making me feel inadequate. You see, I am financially challenged to say the least and have been since my divorce. My credit was wrecked by my prev. alcoholic husband and I am struggling to keep my head above water and to re-establish my credit. The reason I am telling you this is because my 18 year old is trying to get a car and they are both making me feel guilty that I can not help. My daughter did this also with her wedding. I feel so badly about this but can do nothing. My father tries to help them but on his terms. They want him to help them on their terms. They are disrespectful to him as well. All they care about is material things. I must not have been a very good mom. What should I do to gain their respect???
if their father is for example a cheater or an alcoholic (or even both) is it likely they will grow up to be like him?
why do you agree or disagree?
Like I think its totally inappropriate. There will be lots of 18-21 year olds there including my husband (the guest of honor), myself (a girl with a tummy “full of babt lol), and friends. My husband made a friend at his US ARmy Training Base so he decided to spend his two week Leave with our us because he only has a step dad and him mom had him out of wedlock. Anyway, first I don’t think it is ethical to give guests of any age alcoholic beverage unless they can show us a plan for how they intend to get home without driving. How do I tell them it is not a good idea?
There are so many parents, both moms & dads, that just up and leave their children.. Or lose custody and don’t fight to get it back. My mother lost custody of me when I was 8 & my sisters were 1, and 4. She never attempted to get us back. She when on to develop a more extreme addiction to crystal meth, and never looked back.
My sons father never even attempted to get to know him. He left when I was 4 months pregnant. I don’t understand how someone could just flat out not care, not have guilt, and not want to have their children.
How could somebody do this? How can someone just NOT care? Call me crazy, but I freak out leaving my son overnight, more less just giving up on him & not caring.
I always hear him screaming, crying, etc, and I’m getting kind of worried. My best friend knows the dad personally and she said he can get pretty nasty once you piss him off. I know both parents drink alcohol occasionally but nothing too bad. I don’t know if I should call the police since I really don’t have proof he’s being abused. After all, he might just be a spoiled brat. I’ll feel like an idiot if I call the police and he’s not actually being abused… What should I do?
I live in the Chicago area and in the news, a couple was found guilty in supplying alcohol at a party in their home for their teenager. They have not been sentenced yet and their own son testified against them. Well, 2 or 3 teens were killed in a car accident after the party. I am just wondering when are we as parents going to start being parents and stop trying to be friends to our children. I was also wondering about your opinion of the situation.
One last thing, one of the teens involved in the accident where teens died of underaged drinking was involved in another accident last week where someone was driving drunk…When will she learn?
They provided all of the alcohol and no food. I will not expand upon many details but this was a serious situation and our neighbors are sueing us for their son falling down at our house. I do not need opinions regarding marriage/relationship. Just the possibality of receiving compensation for my injuries as well as pain and suffering?
Hello everyone I’m asking a question for my friend and was wondering if anyone could help?
My friend Lina has two sons the younger one is 20 and the older one is 23. They both have a problem avoiding trouble. They get in fights, smoke weed and drink alcohol. Lina’s sons have refused to enroll in school or better their ways. Her husband and her don’t have an idea of what to do. Can anyone help?
In case of my death, our son would go to my brother and his wife? Does he have to sign it also? Do we have to be divorced first?
He won’t get custody of our son. He shoots dope and drinks all day doesn’t work and hasn’t called my son in about 4 months. Hasn’t given us any money in about 9 months
Help….I have two children age 19 and 11 from a previous marriage. My children and I left 6 years ago after their Father got “hooked” on meth. Since then, they have a very little, if any contact with their family on his side. (They have a step-father and he wants to adopt my 11 year old) The last time my 19 year old had contact with his G’ma she needed help cleaning out the house we use to live in (with their father) and my son found meth making ingredients in a cooler. He pointed it out to his G’ma and she put it in her trunk and left with it. Of course, my son (who was 16 at the time) did not tell me this until about 6 months later. This woman has supported her son and his drugs from day one and still thinks he has no problem even though he is now serving a 10 year prison term. Okay, here is my problem: We have found out she has lost her house and is moving into the small town we are living in and is also bring my ex’s drugged out girlfriend who right after our divorce spit at and burned my daughter with a cigerette at a funeral we attended. She has had nothing to do with my 11 year old daughter and I am thankful for that, but now she and the girlfriend has started driving by, trying to follow my daughter and my daughter is scared of them. My daughter says she wants nothing to do with them, she is embarressed and now worries that people are going to think off her different because her Dad is in jail. This has never been an issue with her before. I think since the G’ma is in town and driving by it is bring up the issue. I hate that this has happened to my children and I have always been truthful with them about the situation with their Father, and they have seemed to deal with it pretty well. What should I do? Should I confront them and tell them to stay away…Which I am scared that will turn real ugly…I do not want my daughter hurt or scared, but I do not know how to go about it? Help???
I would, his/her life would be hell untill their 18.
How many of you would do the same?
How many of you are dillusional and believe talking to your child, or letting him live his own life is the way to go?
Thx
@revolt, its a figure of speech.
Im not literally gonna stand there and try to kill my child, im saying if my son ever does such a thing, theres gonna be some serious punishments, and you bet your ass he wont even think about doing it again.
I have been with a man on and off. I believe he is back on meth, after 2 years clean. We were closer than ever. He included me in his sons life, his mom’s cancer, and was so loving. I just found out, he is seeing this meth wh*re. He changed greatly. He says, he was just using me for $. (he did start asking for $ a few months back) How can he be so loving and close then boom he never loved me, was only using me? Is it because she is an addict and nasty and at his own level? Do you think that our 9 years together really never meant anything?
I KNOW I NEED TO MOVE ON. I AM TRYING, I JUST NEED TO EASE MY MIND BECAUSE MY HEART IS BREAKING.
My boyfriend’s brother has been doing cocaine and all that drug stuff I don’t know about and its sad when my boyfriend’s mom even asks me for help. They have very little money and I promised her I would try to help. She wants her son to stop because he is quickly becoming addicted. She wants to teach him a lesson and help him to stop. Therapy is not the answer in this situation. He’s very tough and he needs something that is straight on and challenging. He is only 15. Please help.
My boyfriend’s brother has been doing cocaine and all that drug stuff I don’t know about and its sad when my boyfriend’s mom even asks me for help. They have very little money and I promised her I would try to help. She wants her son to stop because he is quickly becoming addicted. She wants to teach him a lesson and help him to stop. Therapy is not the answer in this situation. He’s very tough and he needs something that is straight on and challenging. He is only 15. Please help.
For example, they decided to start drinking and took drugs.
In my opinion, I do not feel sorry for people like this because it was their decision. I do not want to be a hypocrite but if they are my family or close friends; I do feel sorry for them and try to help them, but when I/we try to help consistently over and over, I start losing that feeling and I’ll just tell them, “Go f*ck yourself.”
My mom also works as a nurse in the psych unit and told me this story today…
There was this happy family with one son who was 15, but when the husband died, the mother became depressed and couldn’t work but they had money left for a period of time. So the mother gives the credit cards and debit cards to her son and says to take care of himself while I try to get better. The son starts doing cocaine and buying painkillers off the streets. (What surprised me is that this went on for four years.) So when the mother finds out that there is no money left to pay for the mortgage; shunconcious and calls the police. She tells the story about what happened and they go back and take the son because he was a junkie. So now the son is forced to live alone in a special psychotic home for people who are addicted to drugs.
e tries to kill herself by taking some pills. The son finds her
Now my question is: do you find this story sad or funny?
You’re probably wondering how could a person find this funny. Well.. first, it is a sad thing, but again, the son used HER money on him while he could plainly see that the mother was sick and ill. That is the funny part. How a person could do something stupid while they know that if they do that, they are hurting them more.
This 19 year old is a retard in my book.
I would also appreciate answers from people who have experienced this. Feel free to share any experience also.
I completely do not feel superior. I try to help the people I care about. But when they keep doing it and not learn their lesson, I just tell them, “Your problem now.”
They have made a wrong choice. But I am 100% sure that they have seen and know what it can do, but are still to naive and stubborn to try it.
so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here????
so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here????
so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here????
so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here???? he has made so many promises in the past and broke everyone of them!!!
