My step-daughter moved out west to be near her family who is trying, one last time, to help her get on her feet. Her deadbeat husband followed her out here and is now living in a shelter and gets food stamps and offers no support or help to his wife or his 3 small children, yet expects to see them and she allows it. He knows how her entire family feels about him and he avoids us like the plague. He’s not supposed to stay with her but we suspect he does from time to time. She got into a house recently that the local housing authority is paying the rent on and she is expected to at least get a part time job. She’s an emotionally abused woman and can’t turn him away because she feels he needs to see his kids. We have tried too many times to make her see what a bad influence he is. He does nothing but manipulate her and the system to survive and get what he wants. When he gets cleaned up and is responsible and his contributing THEN his reward should be to see her and his kids. She won’t give him that ultimatum. That falls on deaf ears. Nothing we suggest or share with her is effective. His presence may cause her to get kicked out of her home. He has arrest records and is wanted in another state for burglary and shoplifting. He’s actually skipped out on his parole and the police here and back there do know of his where-abouts but I guess he’s not important enough to extradite. He’s a drug addict and alcoholic who was even caught trying to steal beer from a local supermarket recently. My step-daughter was doing fine until the deadbeat showed up and now she can’t seem to move forward because he keeps interfering in her life. She may be spiraling out of control and the next step could be to lose her house and be on the street and the state would step in and take the kids. She has burned her bridges with her family for so many years. They have tried and tried and tried, spending thousands of dollars trying to help her but she messes it up over and over. She’s VERY stubborn and never listens to advice and has to learn everything the hard way. She’s 40 now and has nothing to show for her life other than 3 small children, whom she car barely handle and a deadbeat husband who showed up one day and is wrecking everything. I don’t know…maybe we should just sit back and let the chips fall where they may? That’s the only thing we haven’t done yet. Maybe she truly has to reach rock bottom for her, losing her kids, to make her see how serious the situation is.
Browsing Posts tagged state
I have primary residential custody and joint legal custody of my 6 yr old son. Alcoholic Ex didn’t give me any idea of when he wanted summer visitation until today. He wants to have my son for 5 weeks, broken up between now, into the month of October. My son goes back to school at the end of August, can he do that? I thought summer visitation was supposed to be taken during the summer break from school.
Looking for answers from actual law enforcement please. My son is in high school and wants to be a state trooper when he gets older. His father (which he doesn’t have any contact with because I have had sole custody for the last 5 years) is a criminal. He has been in jail for burglary,breaking and entering, recieving stolen property, providing a minor with alcohol, drug paraphanalia, 2 OUI’s, 3 OAS’s, and the last child molestation (he molested our daughter). My son is worried that because of his father’s bad reputation and criminal record that it may hurt his chances of getting into law enforcement. As his mother, I have never been in trouble for anything and he has never been in trouble for anything himself. Being in law enforcement have any of you seen someone get turned down because of criminal history in the family, or are we just worried about nothing? It would really crush him if he found out this could ruin his chances, he has talked about nothing else for the last 4 yrs.
He will be 21 in a few days and was molested at the age of 11 by his Uncle who did not get prosecuted despite our efforts. I feel that this was the beginning of his problems, but had him in counseling several different times to try to help him cope with his trauma. He has been struggling with drug and alcohol addiction since he was13. He has attempted suicide on three occasions over the years, the latest being last night. He lives in another state at this time and does not want to come home because he has a girlfriend of 2 years there. Right now he is in the hospital, but will be admitted somewhere tomarrow. I have talked to him several times today and he knows that I love him and just want to see him get better.He admitted himself into a facility just last week, but they put him out after 2 days because he has no insurance! Before he moved, I had gotten him help from several sources and he has beat this thing before, it just seems to keep coming back. What else can I do besides morally support him and pray?
I satisfied all the requirements to get my daughter back from
DCFS, yet they would not give her back. They told me I could raise one child but not two, which is bogus. My little girl has been stuck in the foster care system since age 7 and now she is 15. I had some health problems which were temporary and resolved, and they still would not return her to me. A few months ago I read in the paper that the public defender that I had was arrested for being part of a cocaine ring in the county where my case was held. Please let me know what I can do now to get her back. Can I get a new hearing?? I will also add that I have been good enough to raise a healthy and happy high functioning autistic son during this whole time and he is now 20. So for then to claim I am unfit is just bull. I know my daughter loves us and misses us terribly!! Help!! I live in Illinois.
Last Saturday, I was looking at a 2001 VW Beetle and I fell in love. My dad and I took it for a drive, and my dad told me he thought it was a good car.
So I was going to put $3000 down but my brother wanted to look at it before I made my final decision. He is smart when it comes to cars and knows what to look for mechanically. He gave me the okay, so I got a receipt but couldn’t sign the papers until I completed getting my drivers license. So the dealership where I was buying the car from said they would get the windshield replaced, (just a minor crack) and detail the car. Anti-freeze was also leaking from the car.
So they said they would fix everything wrong with it, and that I needed to get it by the end of the week, which was yesterday. So I got everything in place that I needed to so my brother took me to pick it up. Upon arrival, we discovered the car was filthy and the windshield wasn’t replaced. The salesman told us they fired the mechanic that had been working on the car, but he fixed the problem. The owner came by, and my brother asked him if the leak had been fixed, why hadn’t everything else he promised happen. He told us he would go get the car washed, and vacuum it out himself. Then he told us he would pay half for the windshield to be replaced, because he hasn’t even considered fixing it until my brother came along. So I said I could deal with that, but I was willing to drive my car of the lot as long as he was going to go through with his deal. I signed all the paperwork, and my brother & I drove off the lot with his son, and our niece.
We get on the interstate, and it kicks in to turbo and is running like a champ. Then we get on one of the busiest streets in our town. My brother proceeds to tell me how good of a deal I got, and I am relieved to know my life is finally falling into place. But suddenly, the clouds roll into the sky and life goes back to being shit. Smoke rolls from the car, and the anti-freeze comes pouring out.
So we pull into a parking lot, and this couple followed us to make sure we were okay. I struggle to get my nephew & my niece out of the vehicle, and take them to safety.
WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED? Why did my car do this?
Also, this morning my dad went to talk to the dealership, and all they told him was to get off their lot.
What are my rights? I have a year warranty on the car. Not to mention all of the promises about fixing the car. Help, please!
No one seems to argue that a parent that is an addict is an abusive parent just by being in the child’s life…
It is LEGALLY child-abuse in many states if a pregnant woman pops hot for drugs.
It is being debated if it is child abuse for a drunk mother to breast feed her child because the alcohol is being passed to the baby through the milk.
Yet if an extremely mentally ill person decides to have kids, no one blinks an eye… They seem to be ENCOURAGED to breed just to show the world “That they are normal”.
When you are mentally ill, even when medicated, you have ups and downs and irrational behavior that directly impacts the mental development and even the GENETIC DEVELOPMENT of a child.
Studies in to the Epigenome are showing that when a child is raised by a depressed parent, that child’s experience alters the genetic development of the child and can lead to an increased risk of mental illness themselves as well as an increased propensity for physical illness such as obesity, cancer, and diabetes.
Why do we not discourage the mentally ill from having kids?
Why do we not discourage addicts? (which is a genetic illness and mental illness)
Why do we keep screaming, as a culture, that breeding is a RIGHT when the very presence of the parent(s) are, at the very least, passive abuse?
Just because you CAN breed doesn’t mean you SHOULD… So why do we not give people a talking to about the quality of life of the CHILD vs the instinctual imperative of the adult to breed?
Why don’t we take teens that have gotten pregnant (and the impregnator) and make them take a class explaining the legal and ethical obligations that must be fulfilled for this child and how to prevent future mistakes through treating the acting out of their sexuality as the responsibility it is?
They don’t even council women going in for an abortion for more than 10 minutes when they offer discounted contraception… They spend more time going over and making the woman swear that she is there of her own free will and not pressured or threatened.
What is so wrong about getting people to THINK before producing a child?
Why is the quality of life of the child less important than the instinctual fulfillment of the parent?
Please… No childish answers… This is a topic that is dear to my heart because I’ve survived horrible trauma and have a really jacked up adult life because no one sat my white trash mother down and said “It might not be a good idea for you to squeeze out young after looking at what happened to the rest of your family… You are an addict. You are mentally ill. Your nephews have killed themselves… You come from the same stock and your offspring will follow the same path.”
It seems so SELFISH to put the desire of the parent above the quality of life of the child.
Why is this such a horrible position to take in the eyes of society?
My niece and nephew have been living with my parents for over a year now (this recent time, it is not the first). The mother is a drug addict, big time and the dad is just stupid. They have never been able to provide a stable home for them on their own. Now that school is almost out the mother is telling the children she is coming to get them.
Although CPS has investgated her 3 times, they say they can not step in because the children have been taken care of and she has not hurt them. The kids are beside theirselves, not wanting to leave grandma and grandpas house, because they have friends, love their school and feel secure. They know where and with whom they will be with every night. We have talked with one attorny and they say nothing can be done. But there has to be something to protect these children. CPS wont do anything until a child has been hurt or killed, what a great system they are, huh! can anyone give advise how they can be legally protected, please help!
I have a cousin who has relapsed on cocaine and i want to find her some NA meetings in her city and state.She has a son that she needs to take care of because he has special needs. I don’t want her to get back in the life she was in before.So can someone tell me how to find out where she can go by using the internet.Thanks
Ok so here is the situation..I got pregnant at the age of 16 and my sons father went to prison for trafficking meth (I know yukky but im doin better now) 3 days after I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t get out until last July. 4 days before he turned 3. So my sons father will be on parole for a long time and cant leave the state. I waited 17 months for him but I was young and could not wait anymore. It didnt seem fair at all. But I have been with my sons step dad for 3 years in December. We had to move out of state from Idaho to Oregon because we have a chance to live a better life and plus we dont fight here.
I have had my son in my custody all the time that his father was locked up and I feel bad for taking him away from him and his grandma but we have a better life here in Oregon. I just dont know how to tell them because the fathers mother is crazy and said she would hunt me down if I ever took him away. But she doesnt get the point that Im not trying to just take him away to hurt her. I just want to give my baby a better life. My family lives in Idaho and wont get to see him either but they arent threatening me.
I just need some advice ppppplllllllllllzzzzzzzz!!!!! thank you
There has never been any type of custody order he was locked up for 3 years of his sons life so there for didnt have those rights. Even when he got out I still had my son all week and he went to their house on the weekends.
But also I took my son because I have heard many times that his father is doing drugs again and that his girlfriend is a crackhead too. I changed my life and finished school and got off drugs so my son can have a better life!
Ok so here is the situation..I got pregnant at the age of 16 and my sons father went to prison for trafficking meth (I know yukky but im doin better now) 3 days after I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t get out until last July. 4 days before he turned 3. So my sons father will be on parole for a long time and cant leave the state. I waited 17 months for him but I was young and could not wait anymore. It didnt seem fair at all. But I have been with my sons step dad for 3 years in December. We had to move out of state from Idaho to Oregon because we have a chance to live a better life and plus we dont fight here.
I have had my son in my custody all the time that his father was locked up and I feel bad for taking him away from him and his grandma but we have a better life here in Oregon. I just dont know how to tell them because the fathers mother is crazy and said she would hunt me down if I ever took him away. But she doesnt get the point that Im not trying to just take him away to hurt her. I just want to give my baby a better life. My family lives in Idaho and wont get to see him either but they arent threatening me.
I just need some advice ppppplllllllllllzzzzzzzz!!!!! thank you
There has never been any type of custody order he was locked up for 3 years of his sons life so there for didnt have those rights. Even when he got out I still had my son all week and he went to their house on the weekends.
But also I took my son because I have heard many times that his father is doing drugs again and that his girlfriend is a crackhead too. I changed my life and finished school and got off drugs so my son can have a better life!
We are divorce and I am remarried. The childrens father has non-supervised visitation and during one of the visits he gave the children alcohol to try. I am just finding out three months later due to something my son had said to me in regards to my ice tea I made and commenting that it looked like wine. I don’t drink or carry alcohol in my home and it took me for a shock that my 4 year old little girl and 6 year old son knew what wine looked like and tasted like.
I have a very controlling mother who has had a lifelong agenda of finding fault with me as a son and a single father of 12+ years now. Most recently I discovered that my mother had taken my 12 year old daughter to AA meetings, because “she needed to accept the fact that her father is an alcoholic”. I am not, nor ever been, and my daughter was taken to several of these meetings w/out my knowledge or permission. Is this legal to do w/out obtaining consent?
My son is a meth user and I am going to do what one of the answers I saw said. “How to keep your son off drugs?” Answer: Move around alot so they can’t get into communities, -redirect thier focus. He also has a daughter (2yrs old) I am going to have him make a U.S. scrap book for her from her Daddy. We would also like to meet other families across America during this time. No outlandish spending just getting real. I’m thinking of spending a year.
I have an adult son who is using drugs daily and refuses to consider rehab. I need to know if I can petition the courts to place him against his will. He’s a danger to himself and has been hospitalized many times because of his use of Angel Dust. He’s a danger to himself.
I have a very controlling mother who has had a lifelong agenda of finding fault with me as a son and a single father of 12+ years now. Most recently I discovered that my mother had taken my 12 year old daughter to AA meetings, because “she needed to accept the fact that her father is an alcoholic”. I am not, nor ever been, and my daughter was taken to several of these meetings w/out my knowledge or permission. Is this legal to do w/out obtaining consent?
