How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I suspect that my elderly neighbor is the victim of emotional and financial abuse. She has her son and daughter living with her and they are both mistreating her terribly. The daughter screams at her all day and leaves her nothing to eat when she is out. There have been times when my neighbor has tried to cook for herself but was unable to, one time she unknowingly put metal in the microwave and caused a fire. My husband heard the fire alarm and helped her out of the house while I put out the fire. That’s when it was brought to our attention that she was not getting the help she needed. To make matters worse her son is a drug addict (meth) and steals her belongings even her medication than screams at her when she confronts him or asks where her pain pills are. Not to mention that they both had access to her bank account and she is not missing a total of $13,000.00 1/2 of the money she was saving for an “elders community” (it’s a fancy nursing/end of life home)

Is there someone I can call about this? I live in The San Fransisco Bay Area, California, USA.
I meant to say she is now missing $13K. Sorry I have a tenancy to type faster then I should and it causes typos.

For example, they decided to start drinking and took drugs.

In my opinion, I do not feel sorry for people like this because it was their decision. I do not want to be a hypocrite but if they are my family or close friends; I do feel sorry for them and try to help them, but when I/we try to help consistently over and over, I start losing that feeling and I’ll just tell them, “Go f*ck yourself.”

My mom also works as a nurse in the psych unit and told me this story today…

There was this happy family with one son who was 15, but when the husband died, the mother became depressed and couldn’t work but they had money left for a period of time. So the mother gives the credit cards and debit cards to her son and says to take care of himself while I try to get better. The son starts doing cocaine and buying painkillers off the streets. (What surprised me is that this went on for four years.) So when the mother finds out that there is no money left to pay for the mortgage; shunconcious and calls the police. She tells the story about what happened and they go back and take the son because he was a junkie. So now the son is forced to live alone in a special psychotic home for people who are addicted to drugs.
e tries to kill herself by taking some pills. The son finds her
Now my question is: do you find this story sad or funny?

You’re probably wondering how could a person find this funny. Well.. first, it is a sad thing, but again, the son used HER money on him while he could plainly see that the mother was sick and ill. That is the funny part. How a person could do something stupid while they know that if they do that, they are hurting them more.

This 19 year old is a retard in my book.

I would also appreciate answers from people who have experienced this. Feel free to share any experience also.
I completely do not feel superior. I try to help the people I care about. But when they keep doing it and not learn their lesson, I just tell them, “Your problem now.”

They have made a wrong choice. But I am 100% sure that they have seen and know what it can do, but are still to naive and stubborn to try it.

ok my sister (22) is my guardian and has been for about 11 months. She took me in when my past gaurdian my uncle james went back to his alcoholic addiction and started abusing me. My mother abandoned me at age 12 and i have no idea where she is. My sister is a CNA and works about 5 days a week. She goes out 6-7 days out of the week to the pub or club and has been non stop for 5 months. Her son (2) is with me for 12 hours a day. From the moment she leaves for work to the moment she comes back from the bar 230-3 am. I am 17 and a senior in highschool and i am watching a 2 year old boy all those hours 5 days a week. and when shes not working she still goes out and sometimes doesnt get home till 4 am. While shes out the baby doesnt sleep and i have to stay up and take care of him. ITs exhausting and my grades have suffered, ive failed my pre cal class. I only have a few months left before collage but i dont even think i can last that long with her. She uses me for a babysitter constantly and my social life and boyfriend are suffering. I cant go out and my bf and i have no privrate time b.c im always watching the baby. When ever i confront her she says i have an attitude and that if i dont like it i can leave, and that she pays the bills. I had to quit my job to watch her son, she cant pay the bills unless i watch him and i of course cant leave. It hurts when she says this since i have been in foster care and have heard that for years over and over. I feel like i dont have a home and i feel used. I cant argue with her about her alcoholism b.c she KNOWS shes an alcoholic and just wont do anything about it. I need some serious help please, sorry its so long..
her boyfriend thats the babys father is in Boston, another state from us and the baby goes up there every few months fro a few weeks but she and him fight so they wont stay together for too long and she wont leave the baby up there b.c she doesnt want his father to have him. My sister wont hire a babysitter b.c shes too cheap and would rather have me do it b.c she doesnt “trust” anyone else. I cant hire one b.c i have no money

Im looking 4 a way 4 my husbands father 2 stop his wife from accessing money & credit. For years, shes been a binge spender (her latest is $80K+ over 14 mo’s on an internet clothing business thats sold $0), depleting all except for a $40K 401(k) (b4 paying off $60K+ in CCard debt). My father-in-laws 74, & wont b able 2 work much longer 2 pay 4 her spending. Its begun 2 affect his health since he cant afford 2 have any elective medical procedures b/c they have no money. She always finds a way 2 get more money/credit: shes stolen her husbands computer passwords so she can transfer funds & even stolen her sons identity 2 obtain 3 CCards when he was in college! If she doesnt stop, they will lose their home. After my husbands father dies, it’ll be our responsibility 2 ensure she doesnt go homeless (& it’ll also give her motive 2 try 2 steal the savings weve accumulated). Shes not incompetent, just stupid & selfish! Is there a specific field or law (non-criminal) that would help with this???

Okay it is NOT ME i can assure you that !!!! My sister in law is pregnant, 34 weeks now, she just found out halloween week!!! How can that be??? I am 39 weeks have been to her house with my husband several times throughout my pregnacy, I have seen her drink, (she drank everyday, all day) I know she still smokes weed!!! I know she still smokes ciggarettes and dont intend on quiting that!!! I went over there a few times as I said and I have witnessed her doing cocaine ( she did it every weekend and at least 2-3x in the weekday) I dont know if she has done meth but it boggles my mind because she bairly found out she was preg when she was like 6 1/2 months and has been doing all this since then….I think she quit cocaine but her daughter is as old as my son and I know she had her taken awya n got them back because the little girl had cocaine in her system….Her baby dad is a drug dealer, bothe of the dads!!!! How will this affect the baby??? Should I step in and say something to s>S????

Should i emigrate with boyfriend who cheated when F****d on drugs who is suicidally sorry?

So, its a long story and alot has happened but this is the shortened version, so sorry its very extreme and to the point – i need some real advice and guidance…. All thoughts greatly welcomed.

Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, (seeing each other for a year before that) and have been living together for a year. He works offshore so our relationship has always kept its excitement, ie, trying new things, still doing different activities etc. The last couple of months into the relationship we had sunken into a comfortable routine then he was hardly ever there. Prior to us moving in he had an extreme drug problem – ie waking up and snorting cocaine but he really turned himself around so we could be together. Things have gone from bad to worse, we hardly saw each other he was heavily back on the drugs – heavily smoking crack and drinking neat vodka until he could stand no more. He would do things and have no idea that he had done them the next day. I wanted to help him but couldn’t – i thought it was just a phase he was going thru (maybe a mid life crisis) For a few weeks i suspected he was either dealing drugs or cheating on me….he admitted to dealing drugs. Then a week before our anniversary (he was going to propose to me in a hot air balloon) 1 night out of the blue i found a letter on his laptop to his friend in prison explaining how he had a mad night on crack and slept with 2 prostitutes in a hotel….i knew that he wouldnt of admitted it so i packed my things and left. He is greatly remorseful, crying and begging everyday, Constantly calling and texting, and i believe him. I know what strange effects drugs have on people. I now feel sympathy for him because he tried to kill himself on 3 different occasions because he says he has lost the love of his life. (although he has a beautiful son from a previous relationship – why would he leave him?) He tried to OD, hang himself and slit his wrists. So i have now been going around to see him…on 1 occasion he wouldn’t let me leave the flat, head-butted me and smashed my phone then he cried and was sorry after. I still love him and want this to work but could i ever trust him not to hurt me again – physically or mentally…? he understands hes got drug problems and has been going to get himself sorted with counseling etc and has been straight for 3 days now. He wants me to move to Dubai with him for 3 months 2 his dads then he wants to travel the world together. (that was our plan) I dont want to be without him but what do i do…?! Is this all too much to overcome…weve got money so can pay for the best counseling but am i wasting my time…?

I still love him and dont want him to hurt anymore…but please help!

Thanks

Additional Details

Also, he is leaving in 2 weeks and wants me to go – so i need a decision quick…
And don’t know if this is any useful information but he also has ADHD…

We had an extremely loving and very exciting relationship prior to his drug binge…why shouldnt i trust him again…? I havent already made my mind up but i know it sounds that way – i just dont want to regret my decision for letting him go – his theory for moving to Dubai is to come clean – ie no drug tollerance out there – please help! im completely lost!

My son will be 15 months when he has to be left for the first time. We have never left him before with anyone. He is going to be staying with my mum and dad, who we dont really trust but there is no one else. I have friends but they dont have kids and sort of panic when he starts to cry.

Anyway, we are nervous about leaving him with my parents because
1) my mum drinks, a lot. I have never known her not to drink. I asked her to take me to afternoon/evening antenatal classes when i was pregnant with him as i didnt like driving and i didnt have my own car. And she said no and my dad ended up just dropping me off/picking me up. And you know why, because as soon as 3pm hits she HAS to pour a glass of red wine and she continues to pour glass after glass of wine until about 7pm after she finishes eating dinner she stops drinking.

2) Both my mum and dad smoke, my dad claims he has given up, but im not sure if he has or not. My mum is a heavy chain smoker, she smokes atleast a pack a day, if not a pack and a half. I dont want my son around all that smoke and chemicals and yukness. They have promised not to smoke inside while looking after him, but i dont believe it. When i go there in weekends with my son, if he goes down for a nap in the bedroom, they think its ok to smoke in the living room! I have said that i dont want him around it at all. And they said they promise to smoke outside

3) My mum goes to bed VERY early, like 7.30pm-8.30pm, 8.30 would be the latest i have ever seen her go to bed, she said she usually goes to bed around 8. I myself stay up late, to around 10.30-12 at night. My son goes to bed anywhere between those times too, usually around 11pm. I know its late, but it works for us as my fiance works evening/night shift so doesnt get home until 12-2am, so we all get a nice sleep in in the mornings.

4) The sleeping issue would be ok, because my dad stays up late usually. However he is not very confident around my son, like he will play with him for maybe 15 minutes max before he carries him back to either me or my fiance. I think he is just nervous. I tell him to read him a book, play peek a boo, or put on one of my sons dvds to watch together and try and encourage their grandad/grandson bonding time, but he still seems very scared. So i wouldnt want him to have to look after my son on his own

5) My mums hygiene standards are almost 0! If my son drops food from his high chair. A piece of fruit or a chicken nugget for example, she just puts it back up on his plate for him to eat again! Also if she changes his nappy, she doesnt clean his bum properly, i always have to tell her to wipe right up his crack and spread his cheeks apart to make sure he is completely clean. I have gotten him home before and changed his nappy and he still has poo around his bum!

We will also have to leave him with them some other time in november as im due with our second baby on the 18th. I know im probably being a bit over the top. But i just really want/need to know that he is going to be safe and well looked after. I will take his usual toys, some of his favourite books, dvds and pjs and a blanket so he still has all his home comforts. I would rather they look after him at our house, but we have 2 big dogs and well my parents dont like them. So thats not an option.

So if anyone has any tips/advice id love to hear from you.

My husbands’ mother has made my life hell for the last 5 years. She first started to not like me because I made my now husband choose me over a woman he was sleeping with (he had an affair) and the mother in law liked the other girl better. 3years ago she called cps on me because I was depressed trying to deal with just having my third child and she says since I was sleeping “a lot” that I was abusing my kids so they got taken from me. While I was struggling to get them back out of foster care she calls the case worker talking trash about me on a daily basis. Well I got my kids back in 6 months because I did everything they asked me to do and proved I was a good mother. She stayed out of our lives for two years because it made her mad that my husband asked her to leave me alone. Well now we are in a different state. We moved 1088 miles from her we were getting along great (me and my husband and our kids) then one day my husband gets a call from his mother crying saying where she was living was to abusive for her (her girlfriend got hooked on drugs and she didn’t want to live there anymore) so we let her move in with us I was giving her a second chance since I thought she would be nice since she was in bad situation and we were getting her out of it. Well before she moves in I tell my husband that I do not want her cat to come with her because our son has bad allergies.
She also smokes and since I have lung problems and my son has asthma I asked him if she could smoke out side that’s my only requests. I make him smoke outside and it’s his house. So she gets there and everything I asked for gets thrown out the window. She brought her cat I complained so she said ok fine one day in the house and the cat will stay out in the garage. Never happened for the 20 days she stayed with us that cat was in the house in her room and roaming around when me and my husband were at work.
. Now as soon as she gets to her room I tell her that she will have to smoke out in the garage and she said no that’s not going to work and she and my husband came up with a compromise of there own she smoked in her room with the door closed and window cracked about a quarter thick. I complained every day of her smoking in our house. She also brought weed into our house and smoked in what used to be our daughters room. My husband made a deal with his mother that she could live there for free if she baby sits our kids while we were at work. I didn’t like that so I complained until the day she left. Well even after all this she still talked down to me and talked bad about me to my kids so I asked my husband to ask her to leave. She had one more child living 20 miles away so she could go live there with them. He asked her if she can go stay with his sister and she started crying and saying I can’t believe I worked all those years for you and you are going to kick me out.
So she quilted him into letting her continue to stay there. So I started to speak my mind on everything and that made her mad to be getting the same treatment she was giving me. She told her son I can’t believe you are allowing her to disrespect me like that I never let anyone speak to me this way. Well it all ended when one night she was going on one of her rants about how I am a bad mother and I just went off on her and we were screaming in each others face and she said don’t talk to me and went to her room and slammed the door I went into my kitchen and started cleaning and she came in there as I was walking out and backed me back into the kitchen and I asked her to move she didn’t respond so I tried to walk around her fat ass but I couldn’t and she said don’t touch me and pushed me I pushed her back and she screamed Thomas your wife just hit me and I told her to leave and she said no it’s not your call it’s not your house it’s my son’s house.
Well after all this I was so fed up I told my husband he better choose between me and our children or your mother and to make a longer story short he made his mother leave. Now he acts differently towards me like he is made that I made him choose he thought nothing was wrong with the living situation and he says it was all my fault that I should have tried harder to get along with his mother. What do I do? I am so mad and frustrated at him.