My own mother will not acknowledge the plight of single mothers who were left by their husbands. Her attitude wouldn’t bother me, if she didn’t fill my kids head with garbage claiming we’re “mentally ill” or not good wives for obeying our husbands and we probably did something offensive and needed to be “put back in line” as she states in referring to physical violence. She blames the women.
She thinks that those who work outside of the home should be reported as neglecting our children, I have a flexible self-employed job that revolves around the children, making only about 15% of my previous salary, but I understand others don’t have that luxury, and she thinks you are irresponsible and should have your kids taken away. She feels we should go out and get another husband. I think it’s irresponsible for me to do this at this point – all my attention needs to go to these kids. I don’t date.
She has threatened me several times over the past ten years to take away my kids, right in front of them, for no good reason, and it upsets the children. Yet she won’t even take care of them for a weekend – my father will, he sees it, but he bows at her feet and won’t stand up to her. I have a child neglect charge on me while they were visiting her years ago because she would let them go out on their own. Don’t worry, they don’t stay alone with her anymore, I don’t get any break, I think it was deliberate, yet more importantly, I think some damage has been done to the kids. We are always afraid of losing their family & home. It’s a terrible way to live and I can’t seem to stop it.
When I ignore this stuff, I tend to get a phone call that my father is sick, isn’t going to make it, and we run up to be at his side just to find it was a ploy. My sister is an Attorney who takes her side, runs background checks on me and anyone who comes near me. So she looks legitimate to the kids sometimes and they don’t know what to think. They love their Grandfather, and want to have contact with him, yet she interferes constantly. He won’t exclude her to spend time with the kids. It has to be both of them or nothing. This is their only family. I’ve been trashed to the rest of my dysfunctional siblings because I left and turned out to be “normal”.
So that’s an idea of what I’m facing – could you help me out here?
Give me a list of what you’ve lost, both material and otherwise.
If you have any stories comparing how you were treated before and after, please explain.
You don’t need to go at this with too much intelligence. She’s never worked a day in her life, dirt poor farmer’s daughter, married wealth, my father raised us and her girls were her slaves, boys were kings, and she had hired help when girls left her household. Her sons are alcoholics, drug addicts and other things I won’t list, whose wives support them, so simple answers, that are not of foul language would help the most.
I may use some of your responses to show children – I need to get their heads on straight about this so that my boys can have respect for women and someday have happy marriages, etc.. She’s setting them up and I don’t have anyone else to back me up here. They are confused sometimes and need some guidance from outside sources. Yes, we have a male family counselor I took them to, and he thinks I do a fantastic job on my own, said I was “not just another dime-a-dozen single mom” and feels society has shafted us. But the minute we walk out of his office reality settles in. It confuses the children.
I have indeed forgiven her, I can’t carry around her hatred, but it’s not stopping.
Thank you in advance, and stay strong.
Thanks folks – Yeah, mom’s this way, but dad has literally begged me to let the kids be in his life, I’m always giving second, thrid, fourth chances – turning the other cheek, taking the high road, etc., my bad. I haven’t told you the worst as I may show some of this to the kids and I don’t want to completely trash another human being. I pray for her.
