How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I was running late from work last night because there was alot of traffic so I asked my older sonn to pick up his younger brother from his friends house.he told me ok and he would go get him in five minutes. When I got home my younger son’s friend’s mom was pulling out of my driveway. I askedd my son why and he said she dropped him off. I was very concerned because my older son was suppost to pick him up 45 minutes prior. I was thinking that he wasn’t even home and he didn’t want me to know so he told his brother he couldn’t drive him. I asked my younger son if he knew where his brother went and he told me he was at home so i went to ask him why he didn’t pick his brother up. when I went into his room i smelled alcohol and he told me he was too drunk to drive his brother home. My qustion is should i ground him for drinking even though he did the right thing and didn’t drive his brother?
They are 14 and 17

I have a seven year old son (stepson) who I love very much and have always looked at him as my own. To me, he’s my son and will always be. My husband and I have a four year old daugter together and honestly if you asked me to choose one I never could. I’ve been in his life since the baby days and my husband and I have full custody. He’s my little man and he grew up calling me “mommy”. We have been open about the fact that I am not his biological mom since early on and he seems to understand. He hardly asks about his biological mother, but he is aware that she is not in a good situation. The biological mom never wanted him. My husband and her were never married, just dating. She made it clear that she had no interest in being involved with the baby. She’s really gotten herself in a huge mess, drugs and alcohol and so many children that she has no rights to! Occasionally we hear from her (usually about her troubles), I’ve tried to get her to care for her children and offer a little love… Never worked. I do not understand how she cannot love her own son, he is an amzing, loving child who’s the sweetest.

Now, the biological mom is sick. Very ill and is on her last days. She has never seen my son (her son), when he was born she refuses to hold him. Part of me wants my son to go see her because it’s important to see and accept your lines of family. I want him to at least know who his biological mother is. I’ve never talked bad about her, I’ve always been honest. We have tried to encourage him to see her here and there. He’s only seven and I don’t want him to ever think in the future I took away his mother’s spot and never gave him the opportunity to know her. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to let him see her or not. Will it scare him? Confuse him? She’s not the best person and I’m scared she’ll hurt him or say something to crush a seven year old. My husband isn’t too comfortable with the idea. I just think this will be her only chance, she should have some decency.

I have a seven year old son (stepson) who I love very much and have always looked at him as my own. To me, he’s my son and will always be. My husband and I have a four year old daugter together and honestly if you asked me to choose one I never could. I’ve been in his life since the baby days and my husband and I have full custody. He’s my little man and he grew up calling me “mommy”. We have been open about the fact that I am not his biological mom since early on and he seems to understand. He hardly asks about his biological mother, but he is aware that she is not in a good situation. The biological mom never wanted him. My husband and her were never married, just dating. She made it clear that she had no interest in being involved with the baby. She’s really gotten herself in a huge mess, drugs and alcohol and so many children that she has no rights to! Occasionally we hear from her (usually about her troubles), I’ve tried to get her to care for her children and offer a little love… Never worked. I do not understand how she cannot love her own son, he is an amzing, loving child who’s the sweetest.

Now, the biological mom is sick. Very ill and is on her last days. She has never seen my son (her son), when he was born she refuses to hold him. Part of me wants my son to go see her because it’s important to see and accept your lines of family. I want him to at least know who his biological mother is. I’ve never talked bad about her, I’ve always been honest. We have tried to encourage him to see her here and there. The biological mom claims she wants to see him as well, but I don’t know think my son does at all. He’s only seven and I don’t want him to ever think in the future I took away his mother’s spot and never gave him the opportunity to know her. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to let him see her or not. Will it scare him? Confuse him? Will it give him second thoughts about me as his mother figure? I could really use some feedbacks, thanks.

I have a seven year old son (stepson) who I love very much and have always looked at him as my own. To me, he’s my son and will always be. My husband and I have a four year old daugter together and honestly if you asked me to choose one I never could. I’ve been in his life since the baby days and my husband and I have full custody. He’s my little man. We have been open about the fact that I am not his biological mom since early on and he seems to understand. The biological mom never wanted him. She made it clear that she had no interest in being involved. She’s really gotten herself in a huge mess, drugs and alcohol and so many young children that she has no rights to! I’ve tried to get her to care for her children and it never works. I do not understand how she cannot love her own son, he is an amazing, loving child. I really wish she could offer him some love, I wish she could offer all her children out there some mothering. However, it’s her choice and she’s missing out. I have no hate for her, she did bless me with being able to love and be loved back by this little boy. And he means the world to me, just as equally as my daughter.

Now, the biological mom is sick. On her last days (due to heavy smoking). She has never seen my son (her son), when he was born she refused to hold him. Part of me wants my son to go see her because it’s important to see and accept your lines of family. I want him to at least know who his biological mother is (even if its just the outer layer). He’s only seven and I don’t want him to ever think in the future I took away his mother’s spot and never gave him the opportunity to know her. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to let him see her or not. Will it scare him? She’s not the best person and I’m scared she’ll be rude to him. My husband isn’t too comfortable with the idea. I just think this will be her only chance, she should allow her own blood-child to see her. I just want my little guy to be safe and loved as much as possible.

Oh where to begin… First, I just want to say I’ve already looked for advice from my mother and a bunch of other people… But I want to hear it from an outsider. So……

My son’s father and I had been together for almost 7 years. We got together when I was 14 going on 15 (I am now 21). When I turned 17, we moved in together, and had been living with each other up until this most recent March. June 2008, we had a son. We’ve had a colorful history, full of ups and downs, but we got through the good times and the hard times TOGETHER, always. We had a lot of problems… Mostly money and financial issues, and all the other problems were us fighting over his drinking habits and basically choosing alcohol and his friends over his family. Due to him not working for almost a year, we were evicted from our home back in March. We both agreed (while angry and fighting) that we couldnt wait to get away from each other, and not have to see each other’s faces anymore. So we broke up. I moved in with my mom, he moved in with his brother. We continued seeing each other, hanging out, all that fun stuff. We were UNOFFICIALLY “together”.

Then in June, I started talking to an old friend, whom I had known for quite a few years. We started dating. My mom kicked my son and I out, so after only a month of dating this new guy, I moved in with him. (Wow, right?)

Obviously, this almost killed my son’s father. He hates that I’m living in another household with another guy who gets to see his son more than he does. He says he’s changed… That he no longer drinks anymore, nor that he has the desire to. He finally got a job, got a car, got his license back, and is back in school for Criminal Justice. He seems to be making a step towards a better life, which is all I had been asking for from the beginning. He says he regrets the things he did to make him lose his family, and that when he goes to sleep at night, all he has to cry on and hold is a pillow, and that kills me.

Problem is, I’m scared. And I know this new guy Im with is different. He’s an amazing guy, he’s done nothing but try to make me happy, and I do nothing but try to push him away. But there’s half of me that’s telling me “Despite how great of a guy he is, relationships are ALWAYS great in the beginning”. They’re both fighting for me. And I dont know what to do. The new guy says we can have our own new family, and that just because my son’s father and I had a baby together, doesn’t make us a family. I disagree. I’m old fashioned when it comes to that, because I’ve always wanted and dreamt of a family with my son’s father… And then it happened, but our hearts were in two different places. I’m extremely defensive when it comes to people talking about my son’s father. So when the new guys says things like… “He doesn’t love you like I do, He’s selfish and only wants you because he doesn’t want anyone else to have you”… I flip out. And I basically tell him it’s none of his business, when in reality, it is lol. He IS my boyfriend after all.

So I guess my question is, Should I move out of my new boyfriends house, and try again with my son’s father? I’ll always love him, and I know deep down inside that I’m never going to get over him. I will always want my family with him… No matter how happy I am in this new relationship. I want to believe he’s changed, and a part of me does believe it. I know he wants to make me happy and have his family back together again, and I want that too. But I feel stuck. I feel like I can’t make a decision because I dont want to hurt anyone. And it’s driving me NUTS. I know I have to hurt someone, but I don’t want to hurt the wrong person so I’ve just been avoiding the issue… But I have to decide. I can’t keep wondering, and bouncing back and forth with my feelings. I have to hurt someone. I don’t know how though. :/

It’s like… I have to choose between a 3 MONTH relationship, and a 7 YEAR relationship. It should be a pretty easy choice lol.. But I cannot, for the life of me, decide. Only because I don’t want someone to get hurt. But EVERYONE in the situation is hurting now, Me, my son’s father, and the new boyfriend. So something needs to get done, and I am desperate for advice from an outsider.

Should I go back to my son’s father and make a fresh start? A new beginning? And do it right this time? Or should I take a chance with someone else who I have only been with for 3 months, and moved in with after only 1 month? :/ Help, for the love of God lol.
I can’t afford a place on my own just yet, which is why I had to move in with the new boyfriend. I do have elsewhere to go, but its with my son’s fathers brother & sister in law. (The same one HE lived with when we first got evicted). And I have noticed a change in my son’s father. My birthday was in July for example, and my son’s father just bought me a card and a gift, and it said “I’m sorry I missed your birthday. If you’ll let me, I’ll never miss another one again”.. Little things like that.. He’s changed from being an a-hole, to being sweet and caring and considerate.

Modernization says Alcohol is very bad for health, so doesnt Jesus said as per according to old testament No drinks to be consumed and nor consume Swine, but christians have changed the whole thing, why ???

So i have been dating this guy for almost 3 years. We have a 1 year old
together and i have been unsure about my love for him since the beginning.
I dont think i have ever been in love with him and im not sure i want him
raising our son. He is an alcoholic, a bad example and he fights with me
ALL THE TIME. We have broken up several times but it never sticks because
im a coward and i hate seeing him in pain. I know he loves me very much but
im afraid the feeling is not mutual anymore. I have let this go on for TOO
long. But i dont think i have the balls to end it. It hurts me to see him
in pain and he begs for me not to break up with him when i try.

So my friend came up with this plan since i cant legally kick him out
without an eviction notice and he wont leave willingly. She and her bf are
going to find a cheap place for rent that has 2 bedrooms (they are moving
because her landlord is selling the house she is at now) and than when im
ready im going to move in with them with my son. I figured i could just
move all my stuff out when he is at work but i dont think that is the best
thing.

So my problem is this the best thing for me to do for me and my son is to
leave him? And how should i break it to him that i am leaving him?

No hateful or rude comments please they will be DELETED!

My son is 17 . Though he never really claimed that he is atheist, but I think he is or atleast in few years he will be open about it, coz I dont see him participitating much in religious ceremony or even coming to church along with us(family). Even our pastor asks always why doesn’t our son doesn’t come to church along with me , my husband and 14yr old daughter. Thing is if i leave beside his view on religion or god, he is very good soon like anyone could wish for. He is very good in studies and always ranks in top 3 in his class, he has bright mind and he wants to study medicine later, which we are proud of. He is not into drugs, alcohol or even smoking, sometimes when my husband is little over drunk my son doesn’t like that and he always ask his dad to drink in limit. Not always, but whenever he free from his studies he always help me in daily chores , he is very loving to his young sister, and I have seen him always talking to my daughter that she has to be serious in studies and if has any problem come to him . I mean he is very good child, but what just bugs me he seems to not believe in god and doesnt practice our religion much, though he is always helpful to needy ones and gives respect to everyone. People always come to me saying that I have brought up my son really good, he is my pride. So should i really be worried if he turns out atheist or maybe agnostic ? my friends tell me i should be strict with him, but i don’t feel too and even my husband is not pushy about it. what should i do ?

My son’s father is currently living 3 hours away. He doesn’t have his own place of residency. I keep our 9 month old all of the time and his dad comes to see him every weekend. His dad has asked me several times if he could take our son for a week or so, but I have always been very hesitant. He likes to go out & party, and I had to make him understand that he can’t just leave our son w/ his mother so he can go out and do whatever he wants. I wouldn’t be so hesitant if he lived closer, but I don’t know how he would manage w/ our son in the car for 3 hours…plus he smokes. He usually stops and smokes outside, but I think that he’d actually smoke w/ our son in the car. It makes me so mad that he can’t go 3 hours without a cigarette! Also, he doesn’t support our son financially. He doesn’t buy diapers, food, clothes, or anything. Most of the stuff he brings our son is stuff his mother buys for him.

If he did take our son for a week, would I have to give him supplies for the baby or should he pay for those things? Because I also have to send wipes, diapers, & food to daycare for him. And it’s not like my son’s dad can afford it, anyway. He’s barely working. He spends the little money he does have on alcohol, cigarettes, and other frivolous things. He’s very irresponsible.

I’ve never told my son’s dad that he can’t see his son. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want him taking my son for a long time & so far away. But then again, I don’t want to get caught up in a nasty legal situation. Whenever we fight, he tells me that he’ll take me to court to get partial custody of our son & that he’d pay child support so that he can. And not because he wants to pay child support/go to court or anything…but he’d do it just to spite me! I figured that if he really wanted to support his son financially, then he’d already be doing it. I don’t want my son in the care of this loser, but at the same time, I want to avoid a nasty situation. What should I do?!

I am a fully competent person. I have never been arrested. I have only gotten minor traffic tickets. I have never been an alcoholic or drug-addict. I raised by son from birth to six months old with no supervision but I do not have “proof” that I did. I took care of him unsupervised and did fine. I do not have any mental illnesses. She is saying I should pay an expert to supervise my visitation until the supervisor concludes I am capable of raising a child. I do not see why this is necessary because I am a fully competent person. In most cases I hear of a person is never required to have supervised visitation unless they were alcoholics, drug addicts, felons, etc.
Joe F: True, people who know me. But my son isn’t old enough to speak for me yet.
Well I do not actually have any records because I am not his legal father yet. So, I am not allowed access to his files. She was around. I watched my son in the evenings when I got off work until the next morning and dropped him off before work.

My son has met this wonderful lovely girl on yahoo pool whoi lives 200 miles away. My son is 15 and she just turned 17. She has bipolar disease and is from an alcoholic family. My son would like to meet with this girl this weekend. Will it hurt for them to meet?
I ‘ve never met her and I think she is coming here without the consent of her parents. I know the answer but I just wanted my son to see what other people thought about this. We agreed to do what most people think is the right thing to do.

What would you do?

Twice, my 12 year old son’s art teacher gave him a fish oil pill and hot sauce to dip it in – the teacher said he usually dips it in hot sauce when he takes it. Two vice principals and the principal were notified, other teachers at the school were notified, the board of education was notified, and nothing was done. No one investigated other than for asking the teacher if he did it, which of course he denied – on 4 separate occasions. This has been going on since January. Finally, after telling the school board I have been speaking to an attorney about their failure to investigate this incident, today I received a call saying they have talked to other students who were in the classroom and that my son’s allegation has been validated – the teacher did in fact give fish oil pills and hot sauce to my son as well as other kids in the class.

On the flipside of this, after the fish oil incident occurred, my son (who loves to make experiments) found some old amoxicillin capsules – one of which was leaking powder – and decided to make the rest of them leak powder. He emptied the capsules into a baggie and poked holes in it – kept flicking it to make smoke. He took his “new toy” to school and when a boy saw him playing with it, he accused my son of having drugs – that boy and his friend went to the office and said my son tried to sell it to them. My son was then suspended from school for 10 days, sentenced to a drug and alcohol class of 6 hours, expelled from the school, and they are now pressing charges against him as a misdemeanor which could land him 6 mos to a year in a juvenile detention center – with no proof of him doing anything other than making a toy out of the amoxicillin powder.

What do you think I should do? I do have an attorney who is fighting the part about my son’s misdemeanor – but what should I do about the school and the teacher and the board of education about the whole fish oil pill? Should I let it go or should I press further action now that other students have validated what my son has been saying for the last 3 – almost 4 months!
No explanation has been given as to why. Apparently the teacher takes them himself – had them sitting on his desk and a student asked him what they were. He told her what they were and asked if she wanted one and then others asked if they could have them as well and he passed them out to anyone who wanted them.

And believe me…. he will not be going back to that school!

It’s about a teenager boy who does drugs, gets HIV and Aids, his Dad finds out, accidentally steps on the needle and gets HIV and beats him up while he is drunk (because he is an alcoholic) and the boy ends up in hospital in critical condition. The father ends up dying from a minor chest infection and the son makes a full recovery.

A 33 year old woman who I have met professionally 3 times is flirting with me. She is divorced and has two kids. She wants me to meet her son, is bringing me special sweets I like from her home town, and asked for my phone number, said “that’s great!” when I told her i was single, and she is a really hot looking scorpio gal and makes lots of sexual innuendo jokes and has a killer smile.

She got divorced recently (maybe within a year or two) and she doesnt allow the ex to se her kids cause he doesnt support them. She said she has gone through tough times emotionally, mentally &financially &her ex was alcoholic. her son told her 2remarry.

She lives with her kids & works full time. When we parted last she hugged and did a cheek kiss on me & was in 2much ecstasy while doing it.

I am single w/out kids. I find her attractive. I appreciate the interest.

Im a vegetarian & never drink/drugs. Shes been veg off on (but not presently).

I have hesitation due 2 kids?

COMMENTS? TY
Hesitation due to kids doesnt mean I wouldnt accept them (havent met them), but that I wouldnt want to start a relationship without their approval, but then I wouldnt make a commitment until I got to know her and them all better. So it is catch 22! Anyone with experience at this that had a positive experience? Very sticky situation. I am mostly concerned for the kids cause I also had this happen to me as a kid (parents divorced) and know that it caused me lots of hurt feelings that I didnt express at the time.

What should be the progression?
1. see her quietly
2. decide on her
3. meet the kids
4. decide on the package
???

Or kids first and then try and then decide?

No easy answer I see.

When I am not home she comes in with her son to snoop around(she once lived in the home)If I am not in the living room when she arrives she goes back to his bedroom following his father.I didn’t realize this was going on except I would come home at lunchtime and find our bedroom door locked on the days she was to come pickup him up. She finds excuses to come into the home.I had enough,so I called her and told her that when she comes inside my home she stays in the foyer. She got beligerent.This woman has tried suicide 4 x since I have known her and 8 x total. She admitted that she did it for attention,the last time she scratched her wrists. I have only been in her home twice and both times was to get the son out of the home because her 3rd husband and her were drinking and fighting.She is getting married again without divorcing the 3rd husband,she has an alcoholic and pill problem.I love the son as my own and he knows it. What should I do in the future?

I have a friend who has liked me since we were kids. However he happens to be friends with my ex who is my son’s father. I don’t know how close they are but my 8 yr old son knows him as Daddy’s friend. This friend told me about a year ago that he liked me and basically that he had a lot to offer. That I wouldn’t have to work and could stay home with my kids if we got married. I kind of blew him off then since we were drinking and wrote the whole thing off to the alcohol talking. Now I am wondering whether that was stupid and am interested in possibly dating him since one of my girlfriends told me he was still interested possibly. Only problem is that now he’s moved to another town. There’s hardly any chance of running into him. Should I call him out of the blue for a date?

my son who is 28 banged his knee on a four wheeler and has an open gash that is deep. It looks like you can see the bone. He won’t go to the hospital to get stitches so I’m trying to figure out the best way to tend to it at home. He poured alcohol on it an then put antibacterial ointment on it with a bandage. I’ve told him not to use alcohol and though he should put ice on it to keep swelling down.

Someone has been posting twisted thoughts about me and my friends on facebook. The contents are very offensive. The girl who does all this is 23 y.o and a mother and she also goes to our school. We used to hang out with her but then she has this major attitude problem and then she became mad to everyone at our group. She has no friends now and she’s being all paranoid and depressed and keeps on posting stuffs that is not true about us. She consistently send me mails (all documented) and tells me that to be careful on what I do because she’s gonna do something really bad to me that I wont forget about it. I reported this to our local police and the best that they told me was: ” Well, everything what she did was legal and the best that we could do is call her and tell her to stop.” —Then what? The police officer just said that she have the freedom of speech and can “discriminate” whoever she wants to discriminate. What? SO discrimination is already a RIGHT? In anycase, aside from the fact that she’s posting stuffs about us, she also abuses her child. She got a son and dresses him up as a girl and takes picture of her son with alcoholic beverages. That’s all I can say for now, but I want to know what legal action I should take against her. I want her to stop doing all these to my friend. I’m scared that one day she’ll just do something to me. Tell me what to do. THe best thing to do (without paying for legal defense). Thanks!
i already told her that if she wont stop ill file a complaint against her actions. she just said: “I’m not scared of you. I don’t care.”

I am having a lot of problems with my daughter in law who my son married 5 years ago. I am convinced she is the reason my son is now not so quick as he used to be (before he met her and when they were married the first year) in helping out his family when there are moments of financial crisis.

My brother (my son’s Uncle) has been drinking a lot of alcohol for quite some time (he is in his mid 50′s). He’s been in jail for drugs and no longer uses, but his drinking is so severe that he cannot work. He is currently on unemployment. When he got out of jail I gave him a place to live and have required that he pays rent which he does. He drinks excessively but I cannot make him stop – he has to want to stop. There is nothing we can do as a family to get him to stop. I am not enabling him because I make him pay rent and he is the only one who will stop drinking- I can’t make him.

He has two children- one is in her 30′s and married with kids and his son is in his mid 20′s. Their Mom is no good. Their Dad (my brother) hasn’t been able to help pay for things for them because of his drinking and he is unemployed because of drinking, so I have helped them out financially. I cosigned on the daughter’s house. I have helped pay for his son’s college.

My son makes more than both of my brother’s kids. I don’t tell him straight out that he needs to contribute to his cousin’s college, but I let him know the situation so that he gets the hint. His cousin almost missed a semester of school because his dad didn’t have enough money to pay for it. I gave him money but I expect my son to help out too- just a couple hundred dollars or more.

Now my brother is very sick from liver failure. His son is almost finished with college and wants to go to law school. Because my brother’s health conditions he has massive medical bills. I am helping out with those. I expect my son to help financially with his cousin’s college and continue to give just a couple hundred dollars a year when he begins law school.

the problem is my daughter in law who is married to my son. She is upset that I am hinting to my son that he should help his cousin out with school expenses. She says that my husband now earns at his new job 20% less than he did at his other job from which he was laid off and that they have two small children who do not have a college savings account at all and that they come first.

I told my husband that I already have a college savings account for them. My daughter in law says that they should not be depending on me to finance their kids college and that because me and my husband have health problems that we might have to dip into the account I set up.

It is not my brother’s kids’ fault that their dad is not able to pay for things for them. I feel my husband has a duty to help out his cousins and that his wife is making excuses and just wants their money for them. My son’s cousins are family and my son has an obligation to them since he earns more money than they do- it is not their fault that the have financial problems.

So I think my son should help them out and when my brother dies I think he is obligated to help out with the funeral expenses too (just a few hundred dollars- why is his wife so upset over this?) because my brother is destitute. This is my son’s family.

How can I convince my daughter in law that she is out of line to object to my son’s helping out his family financially? It’s just a few hundred dollars once a year and always has been.

My son has been a poop head for about a year. Never really listens and has not been real productive when it comes to working to earn his own money ect.. Although he never asks us for money. He is in his second semester in college. The first semester he barely made it through. He has to repeat one of the classes he took. We have told him not to get caught drinking repeatedly before he left for college. In fact a week before he left for college he almost got busted by the cops in his home state. We are a Christian Home and have no alcohol, and really don’t approve of it, but are not preachy about it. Now he just informed us that he has been charged in by the police for the second time with Alcohol Possession. He has 13 days to pay the 500 dollar fine or he will be arrested. He has no money because he has not worked since July! Do I front him the money to pay the fine? I love him but really need him to learn. I don’t want to enable his stupid behavior either! Thanks!