How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

For starters, my best friend, Jovi, well she’s having a problem with her parents. I am 16, she is 14. We all live in America. It’s really her parents, they fight, a lot. Basically every week actually, and then they are good again. And it really hurts her when they fight. Stuff they usually fight about is so dumb. It’s usually stuff about their son (who is an alcoholic), her accusing him of cheating on her (which he really never would do), and other stuff. I think it might be becuase when they were much younger (before Jovi was alive), her dad mistreated her mom when they lived in Venezuela (it’s unfortuntly common there). A lot of the problems occur when they drink, which they do a lot. Well tonight they got into a fight and Jovi’s mom told her that she was going to move back to Venezuela this December. Jovi is now saying she actually wants her parents to get a divorce (which they sometimes want), and it’s making me upset. It’s hard for me to watch her sit there and not try anything…
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(CONTINUED)…

…to help fix it. It almost makes me feel angry at her, like she doesn’t care about them. Now something you should know about Jovi, she’s really a selfish person, a good person, but unkowingly selfish. I think that’s part of why she wants them to split, because it hurts her when they fight and she’d feel better if that ended with divorce. Another thing about her, she doesn’t think about cause and effects, like what will happen in the future. And I am really really close to her whole family (they really are great people when they get along), but I just don’t see how any of her family could possibly benefit from a divorce. Her mom (unemployed), completely relys on her husband for money and she speaks no English. Jovi attends a really, really expensive private/catholic highschool (she has some financial aid for making great grades). Honestly, I think Jovanna has a really great future ahead of her. She will probably be the first of her family to go to college and the…
(CONTINUED)…

…And just have a great life. I don’t know how this could affect it though. I don’t know what to do and I told her to talk to both her parents for real and tell them that what they are doing is hurting her. She told me she is going to do that. Well, basically that’s it. AND for anyone telling me to stay out of it, it’s not gunna happen becuase my best friend is asking me what she should do and I want to give her the best advice I can give her. I really don’t, and I know she really doesn’t want to see them break up. AND most of you say it’s usually for the better. This for sure wouldn’t be, as Jovi then might move to Venezuela where she can’t get anywhere near as good an education as she could here, and I really want her to have a great life. So please, help me out.

Thanks

7 years with same man. Drug and alcoholic. Has nothing, dosen’t aknowledge his own son and has abused me mentally and physically before but I can’t stop thinking about him and loving him. Please help my phycotic thinking.

I’ve been involved with John for 22 years now. We have had our ups and downs especially when it comes to his children. The children do not like me, are disrespectful, have called me names and are greedy. They think I’m cutting in on their inheritance. Johns Son who is now 32 years old has a history of drugs / alcohol abuse and violence. John and his ex-wife keep giving their Son money to sustain his addictions. They do not ask him to support himself and become a responsible individual in society. This kid is a real loser and is once again living with his father (John). I don’t go to John’s house like I use to because of his Son.

I was hoping when we retired John and I would be able to travel, go places, live a little and enjoy life. We can’t because his Son is constantly around calling his father. If we go away for a week-end, the Son is calling. We go out to dinner, the Son is calling. I’m so sick of this!

I raised my two children alone. They are now married, self sufficient and lead good lives. They would never do the things to John that John’s children have done and said to me.

I live on my meager Social Security and have submitted my rental application into a couple Low Income Seniors residences. I received a call from one of them yesterday asking me if I would be interested in the apartment. The problem is, is the apartment is 50 miles away from John and the thought of not being close to him and parting ways is killing me. I feel like my heart is being ripped away from me and it hurts.

If I don’t take the apartment, they will take me off the waiting list. I’m worried that my Landlord is going to raise my rent and if they do, I won’t be able to afford living where I am now, then I’ll be stuck.

I don’t know what to do.
Well, it’s Valentines Day and John has invited me to dinner this evening. I wonder if we will get calls? I am giving him a very special Valentine Card and have written a letter and will be discussing it with him. Not as an ultimatum, just fact.

I will post what happens in the next few days.

Thanks for your responses. I’m working on this.
John’s Daughter is visiting now from out of town. We had a lovely Valentines Dinner and exchanged cards that were very similar. I also gave him a letter letting him know how I feel. But since we haven’t been able to discuss this because of his Daughter and Son being at his home, this will need to wait until we have time alone.

I went to see the Low Income Senior Housing today and I know I can’t be picky, but it is extremely small. The most I would be able to fit in the living room is my sofa, small coffee table and maybe my 5×5 wall unit and that’s it. Leaving me about 2 ft. between the coffee table and the wall unit. No space at all. I’m so disappointed!

I’m with a guy that is a really bad alcoholic. We dated for a few months and then moved in with me. Now that I realize what a loser he is I want to leave, but I can’t financially afford it. I am 23, work full-time, go to school part-time, and have a 3 year old from a previous relationship. I made it on my own before, but a lot of things have changed since he has moved in. Someone hit me and totaled my car so I had to buy a new one and have a car payment and higher insurance for full coverage. I used to receive day care assistance, but I don’t qualify for that anymore or public aid, but I only make $14/hr(they determined that I didn’t qualify and I didn’t mention his income). I know if I leave I won’t be able to afford my rent and day care and bills and food/gas. I don’t have any family around here to help me. I need to get out. He is a serious alcoholic and I am afraid for me and my son. Last night he came home drunk and was walking around the house naked and urinated in the kitchen garbage can. He was making so much noise that I was really scared and thought about calling the police. He’s only like this when he drinks. Plus he watches my son a few days during the week so I don’t have to pay so much for day care and wathes him when I go to school. I just don’t know what I would do without his help. What should I do, I don’t want to be stuck any longer.

My dad i used to get along and so did my mom and sister a long time ago but as the years wen’t on, he became a raging alcoholic freak and my mom has been trying to raise money recently and is gone to Missouri to help her sick mom and my sister is off to college. Before she wen’t off, my dad just started to dislike everyone, he drank like 20 cans everyday and still does, he verbally abused my sister and my mom and they hate each other now. Recently my dad has been calling me trash and i am a freak for crying just because i miss my mom a lot, then he calls me the worst things like “you f*cking b*astard”. It hurts soo much that i can’t stand it and i have a mental breakdown where i just let it all out on the phone with my mom or sister. He says that i was mistake for becoming this ungrateful child, but in reality, he made me “this” way for always leaving me home alone getting drunk and saying rude things to me. I’m only 14 what should i do? I’m sick of looking at him.
We ignore each other every day now too.

Ever since my Mom and Dad divorced it has all been downhill and I struggle with my Mom all the time. She has become a compulsive gambler and alcoholic (which broke up the family), and even started smoking, which she never did before. We tried as a family to go to the classes and get her to attend which she refused and my divorced her soon after. I then noticed that she stopped trying to be my Mom and instead wanted to be my friend, and I didn’t respect that. So she started to turn on me calling me the family failure, tried to turn me on my father, and cried every time I disapproved of her new party attitude. Now she is so flustered at me, she has supposedly cut me off all together and told me that we are done and without skipping a beat, I said ok and wasn’t bothered by it but in my heart though I worry about her. It’s only been a few days, and I don’t feel I should have to give in. She has done nothing to change and every time before where I trusted her to change, she lied to me. I am not sure where to go from here, any help?
I am 25 for the one who is asking….
Lots of good answers, you have all been helpful, thank you all very much

I admit I spent more time on the couch drinking than I did playing with my boy whom now is 12. I did still go out and play catch with him lots and watched all his sport games cheering from the sidelines. I went to all his school events, volunteered as a room mom etc.My husband divorced me because of my alcohol abuse. I am in treatment now. I call my son and his step mon says he does not want to talk to me then continues to hurl insults in such a cruel way. She even had my 83 year old dad that I live with because of his alzheimers crying!I have tried to reason with her through my tears that we need to talk and she just yells louder. I pray my boy is not able to hear her. Legally I have my boy on wednesdays plus my share of the holidays.Since to Christmases ago I have not seen my son. People tell me to get a lawyer but I have always been to emotional to stop my crying. I don’t want my son seeing this mess.I write my son every week or so with no response. My x says he does receive them

I am 43. My brother is 45. We went to his house for memorial weekend and he allowed his neighbor to snort cocaine in the bathroom with my son and grand daughter in the next room. We left and told him how extremely irate we were and he laughed about it. I have not spoke to my brother in 2 years and my mom is so upset that I won’t just forget about that whole thing. He still has not apologized and at my moms he said he thought it was funny. So needless to say, when there is a family thing, we are the ones who don’t get invited. My son and grand daughter are 12 and 5. Nobody except my brother is a drinker. Am I right to be outraged?

He has had a LOT of problems: hard drug abuse (landed him in rehab), alcohol abuse, mildly physically abusive, verbally abusive, lies, affair, even some paid s-e-x when he needed the money for drugs, and on an on. We have been divorced for 3 years, and he is re-married (although his new wife was married when they started their relationship). To my knowledge, he doesn’t drink or do drugs (well, maybe weed, I don’t know about that one) any more. My son and I moved to another state (job transfer) 2 years ago. Despite everything, he has called our son every week or two, and always said he cared…but he went 18 months without sending me a dime of child support, and has only recently been sending me small amounts. The court order says he has to come to our state to see our son…which he hasn’t done in over a year (he says because of the expense). He has been going to AA, anger management, and counseling for about a year – these are court ordered things for him to be able to have some visitation. He really wants to be in our sons life, but I have a REALLY hard time believing or trusting him. My bf says that he doesn’t really care about my son, that it is about him ‘winning’ in court, and keeping up the appeareance of caring for other people. My main fear is that he will be a bad role model, but, he does seem to be in a better place than he was a few years ago. So…when he goes back to court to request that our son come visit him in his state…do I hire a lawyer and fight it or not?

Forgive me for this being so long, but I need to explain the whole story before I can ask the question.
My friend “Connie” (not her real name) is in a long term relationship with “Diane” (not her real name). Connie is 60, divorced, and has 3 adult children. She came out as a lesbian at age 50. Diane is 44, has 2 adult children (and one who died 3 years ago), and has been an open lesbian for her whole life.
When Connie and Diane first got together 7 years ago, their relationship was perfect. I was so happy for both of them. The first 3 or 4 years were just wonderful for them, they just seemed like the perfect couple, what every person strives to have as far as a relationship goes. Diane was always a big “pothead”, she smoked marijuana every day, but that’s as far as it went. Connie might be classified as a functioning alcoholic, she drinks all day long, yet holds a good job and is a responsible member of society as well as the kindest, most understanding woman in my life.
Diane’s 2 sons were constantly in trouble for one thing or the other, mostly for drug dealing and/or use. But it was never anything that affected Connie and Diane’s relationship. Then, 3 years ago, Diane’s son “Michael” (not his real name), age 17, was speeding away from the police after a drug deal, wrecked the car, was trapped inside, and wound up burning to death.
After Michael died, it sent Diane hurtling downwards into despair and depression. But instead of simply mourning as most grieving parents would, Diane began using heroin and cocaine to ease her sorrow, often times buying the drugs from her oldest son. Diane’s addiction got so bad that she secretly sold all of Connie’s jewelry in order to feed her drug habit. She also took $10,000 from Connie’s bank account. Before Connie even found out about any of this, Diane also robbed a convience store, and robbed an elderly woman while holding a knife to her throat.
Shortly thereafter, Diane was arrested and spent 8 months in jail. All the while Diane was locked up, Connie took a good look at her life and decided to end the relationship. She totally remodeled her house (which Diane had torn apart many times while on wild drug binges) and got rid of everything that reminded her of Diane. She refused calls from the jail, sent letters back unopened, gave all of Diane’s possessions to her children and sister, and was once and for all finally free of Diane. Things were looking up for my friend Connie, until Diane got out of jail.
She showed up at the door, homeless and hungry. Connie let her shower, eat, and then made her leave. But over the next few months, Diane worked her way back into Connie’s life, and, about 3 months ago, Diane moved back in with Connie. Diane was good for awhile, she was clean, she wasn’t even smoking pot. But over the course of the last month, Diane started using heroin and cocaine again. Connie is fed up, but, when we ask her about what she plans to do, she says, “I can’t make her leave, I love her, I remember the first few years, we were so happy, maybe we can be that way again someday.”
Me and all of Connie’s other friends try to be there for her in any way we can, we give her love and emotional support, we even spend time with Diane.
I can’t force Connie to see that she deserves much better than Diane, as she said, she loves her, they’re together 7 years, there is alot of history there. But we all know the violence Diane is capable of, and who knows what she’ll do next. Connie has told me more than once that she’s afraid to be alone in her own house.
Any advice? Thank you.

Ok, I’m sorry this may be a bit long, but I could really use some advice. So I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. I was a kid when we first got together, and didn’t make the best decisions. He asked me out and I agreed even though he was 21 years old, dropped out of school when he was 16, lived with his parents, hadn’t worked in nearly a year, and was a huge pot head. I know, it sounds terrible… and if someone like that asked me out now I wouldn’t go near the guy – but I had just turned 17 and pretty much saw him as a cute older guy and that was initially why I agreed to go out with him. What made me stay with him was because he was sweet, funny, and I really loved being with him, even if he was a huge loser – and before long we had a son – which is why i am with him today. I’m not a kid anymore and I know he wouldn’t be considered a “catch” for any woman.

A lot of times I really regret this decision because most of the time it seems like our relationship is so horrible. He just got a job a couple of months ago, but I keep finding marijuana in my house. I didn’t mind the weed when I was young but we have a 3 year old son now and he needs to stop his childish habits like chewing tobacco (which is disgusting and he just suddenly started doing this out of the blue last month) smoking cigarettes, and the weed. I feel like I am with a 15 year old. I really thought when our son was born he would grow up and be more responsible, but he just didn’t. No matter how much I tell him I don’t want these things in my life, and definitly not my sons life – he doesn’t care and does them anyway. We have very different opinions about these things – I believe drugs are wrong and idiotic, and he and the rest of his family doesn’t. His family just looks the other way and doesn’t care. He finally got a job (he hasn’t had one in over a year and a half – while I work full time and go to school full time) and I fear he could lose his job.

I love him, but sometimes I just feel like he is literally stupid. Why can’t he see my reasoning for why it is important to live with out doing these things. I know that its just weed, its not crack or anything but i still don’t want it around me – and nowhere near my son. I have found weed in my car before, and I am afraid if I am ever pulled over I could get in trouble for it, and I don’t want that to affect my ability to find a job when I get out of school. I have already completed over half of the nursing program. I always thought when I was out of school he would go to school and change his ways and all would be fine. But he always hangs out with his brother who sells the stuff, and as long as he is around Im sure he wont stop with the drugs.

Sorry it was so long, can someone give me some advice? –Trust me this version of our relationship so WAY condensed, I could write a hundred pages on all of our problems -which i know is a bad thing.

I am considering trying to get full sole and physical custody of our son because I don’t believe he is a fit parent. He has more that one domestic violence charge against me, and I feel that those charges plus the his unsteady work history (failure to provide financially for our son), and his drug use could give me a chance the get full custody. Does anyone know if that is enough to make him an unfit parent, or get me full custody of my son?

sorry, i understand if no one wants to read this long entry

We have three kids 9,3,11/2. We separated 4 yrs ago because I used her mistake as an excuse for my leaving. We both have made many mistakes and have very deep issues but we are willing to work on and aware of many of our faults. She was honest about her mistake. But I used the painful feelings as another excuse run away and to go on a pity driven drug binge for 6 months. After 6 months she drove me to the V.A. (Desert storm disabled vet) because I was really close to death or homicide or both. After 9 months inpatient psych-ward ( 8weeks lockdown 7 mo. inpatient program) and 4 months transition house. She took me back. (Diagnoses bi-polar..lots o meds) I’ve made many changes and reversions “good months bad months” but stopped meds a yr after I left transition (felt they were masking/ hindering getting to the deep real issues) I put my wife through incredible emotional abuse and neglect every month of every year of our relationship. My eldest son as well.
Well I found a civilian psychotherapist 9 months ago. 4 months ago I started having some really enlightening realizations of the true pain and scars I’ve caused. 2 months ago my wife said something I perceived as a horrific hurt and I reacted as I usually do when hurt (perceived or real) with scary rage and horrible words the worst blow up ever (only 2 minutes long but 119 seconds toooo long) and I cant express in strong enough words the feelings of guilt and shame I feel. Well after that my wife wants to separate for a while so she can get herself in order. I understand and can’t blame her for a nana second. Well since then my therapist and I have gotten even deeper…scary deep but I asked him for a no bull-shit evaluation of my personality. Last week he gave it and I’ve researched and nervously agree. I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).My question..Long overdo I know) T he research and most people agree there is no cure but I truly want to change… for myself..Ha ha.
.alittle irony there. But I also want to save the love of a beautiful, smart truly incredible woman who never deserved an ass like me. I want to change. Is it possible and how the hell can I ever make up for the mountains of crap I’ve piled on my wife.

We have three kids 9,3,11/2. We separated 4 yrs ago because I used her mistake as an excuse for my leaving. We both have made many mistakes and have very deep issues but we are willing to work on and aware of many of our faults. She was honest about her mistake. But I used the painful feelings as another excuse run away and to go on a pity driven drug binge for 6 months. After 6 months she drove me to the V.A. (Desert storm disabled vet) because I was really close to death or homicide or both. After 9 months inpatient psych-ward ( 8weeks lockdown 7 mo. inpatient program) and 4 months transition house. She took me back. (Diagnoses bi-polar..lots o meds) I’ve made many changes and reversions “good months bad months” but stopped meds a yr after I left transition (felt they were masking/ hindering getting to the deep real issues) I put my wife through incredible emotional abuse and neglect every month of every year of our relationship. My eldest son as well.
Well I found a civilian psychotherapist 9 months ago. 4 months ago I started having some really enlightening realizations of the true pain and scars I’ve caused. 2 months ago my wife said something I perceived as a horrific hurt and I reacted as I usually do when hurt (perceived or real) with scary rage and horrible words the worst blow up ever (only 2 minutes long but 119 seconds toooo long) and I cant express in strong enough words the feelings of guilt and shame I feel. Well after that my wife wants to separate for a while so she can get herself in order. I understand and can’t blame her for a nana second. Well since then my therapist and I have gotten even deeper…scary deep but I asked him for a no bull-shit evaluation of my personality. Last week he gave it and I’ve researched and nervously agree. I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).My question..Long overdo I know) T he research and most people agree there is no cure but I truly want to change… for myself..Ha ha.
.alittle irony there. But I also want to save the love of a beautiful, smart truly incredible woman who never deserved an ass like me. I want to change. Is it possible and how the hell can I ever make up for the mountains of crap I’ve piled on my wife.

We have three kids 9,3,11/2. We separated 4 yrs ago because I used her mistake as an excuse for my leaving. We both have made many mistakes and have very deep issues but we are willing to work on and aware of many of our faults. She was honest about her mistake. But I used the painful feelings as another excuse run away and to go on a pity driven drug binge for 6 months. After 6 months she drove me to the V.A. (Desert storm disabled vet) because I was really close to death or homicide or both. After 9 months inpatient psych-ward ( 8weeks lockdown 7 mo. inpatient program) and 4 months transition house. She took me back. (Diagnoses bi-polar..lots o meds) I’ve made many changes and reversions “good months bad months” but stopped meds a yr after I left transition (felt they were masking/ hindering getting to the deep real issues) I put my wife through incredible emotional abuse and neglect every month of every year of our relationship. My eldest son as well.
Well I found a civilian psychotherapist 9 months ago. 4 months ago I started having some really enlightening realizations of the true pain and scars I’ve caused. 2 months ago my wife said something I perceived as a horrific hurt and I reacted as I usually do when hurt (perceived or real) with scary rage and horrible words the worst blow up ever (only 2 minutes long but 119 seconds toooo long) and I cant express in strong enough words the feelings of guilt and shame I feel. Well after that my wife wants to separate for a while so she can get herself in order. I understand and can’t blame her for a nana second. Well since then my therapist and I have gotten even deeper…scary deep but I asked him for a no bull-shit evaluation of my personality. Last week he gave it and I’ve researched and nervously agree. I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).My question..Long overdo I know) T he research and most people agree there is no cure but I truly want to change… for myself..Ha ha.
.alittle irony there. But I also want to save the love of a beautiful, smart truly incredible woman who never deserved an ass like me. I want to change. Is it possible and how the hell can I ever make up for the mountains of crap I’ve piled on my wife.

I had this really toxic relationship with my ex-fiance:
we were both abusive to the other in some manner
(he financially and verbally abused me, I was verbally abusive in return)
he really brought out the worst in me
we just weren’t right for each other
and the worst part is that we wasted 6 years on each other
he kept me locked up pretty tight:
isolated me from my family/friends and broke into my bank account
so it was hard to do but I finally I got out

And it didn’t take long for things to turn for both him and me:

Without my ex in my life I was finally able to meet my mr. right,
he and I got married,
he works a military job while I stay at home and take classes
we have a spacious apartment, a solid car,
great communication- very open and honest and respectful,
a very experimental and all-around fun sex life,
which resulted in us now being 7 months pregnant,
(my husband calls our son our “surprise blessing”)
I finally have everything I ever dreamed of
its not perfect, but I’m happy,
and its been so long since I’ve been happy…

My ex, on the other hand, was pretty happy when we were together,
he freaked out when I left,
even joined the military in an effort to win me back
when that didn’t work, we tried to be friends
the friendship was going great
I talked to him and coached him into asking a girl out that he liked
he sent me the greatest wedding present when I got married
but as soon as he found out my husband and I were pregnant
thats when things went down hill real fast:
he started drinking…he now binge drinks every weekend
and when he drinks he texts me to say some pretty cruel things…
having been together 6 years, he really knows how to hurt me
so I stopped talking to him
and eventually he stopped trying to talk to me

I figured it was best that way…we lost our friendship a long time ago
no point in trying to keep something alive when its long dead

But now…now I don’t think I’ll be able to avoid him anymore since
he’s been assigned to the same base that my husband will be based on for at least the next year…
even with hundreds of soliders, the base is still considered very small, and you can barely go anywhere in town without running into someone you know from base.
Plus, my husband has just taken a new job…which might make him my ex’s boss for alittle while when he first comes to base…
I really don’t think my ex is dumb enough to say anything to me
and, even if he is dumb enough, my husband could take care of it.
I know my fears are completely irrational
but having been in such a toxic relationship with him…
I’m afraid that his mere presence in the same time zone as my husband and I will ruin everything…
like all of my happiness, all the things that are finally going right for me, all of it will crumble before me when he shows up…
I know thats not going to happen but I’m still just so afraid…

have any of you had this happen?
where you think you’ll never have to see this person again
and you’re glad because the relationship was just so horrible
but then you’re thrown together,
living in the same town, on the same base
and you’re just so scared by their presence
with no real reason to be scared….
please tell me I’m not alone on this?

I can’t figure out why I’m so afraid…
my husband says not to be so afraid, that he’ll protect me.
And I really doubt that my ex will try anything…but I’m still just so frightened.

I’m a recovering meth addict, but my kids dad just can’t kick it. He’s been in and out of prison, and now he just got released and already using. He isn’t even concerned with being sent to prison becouse his P.O. told him he’ll just have to go to a Soberliving home. I’m trying to stand by him but with disappearences and when he does show up I really don’t want my son to see him. He says that he wants to stop but I don’t see that happening. He beg’s me NOT to leave him, that I’m the only good he has in his life. But yet he rather still get high. To be very sincere, I don’t want to leave becouse then I know I’ll always wonder what if? So if there’s any recoved drug addicts that do have a success story please let me know. I know that as drug addicts everyday is just one more day that we have again been able to say no, but I know that there’s days when we can’t. And that I understand, but I don’t understand him anymore. He’s just doing it because he has money, or he got mad it his mom.

. We have three kids 9,3,11/2. We separated 4 yrs ago because I used her mistake as an excuse for my leaving. We both have made many mistakes and have very deep issues but we are willing to work on and aware of many of our faults. She was honest about her mistake. But I used the painful feelings as another excuse run away and to go on a pity driven drug binge for 6 months. After 6 months she drove me to the V.A. (Desert storm disabled vet) because I was really close to death or homicide or both. After 9 months inpatient psych-ward ( 8weeks lockdown 7 mo. inpatient program) and 4 months transition house. She took me back. (Diagnoses bi-polar..lots o meds) I’ve made many changes and reversions “good months bad months” but stopped meds a yr after I left transition (felt they were masking/ hindering getting to the deep real issues) I put my wife through incredible emotional abuse and neglect every month of every year of our relationship. My eldest son as well.
Well I found a civilian psychotherapist 9 months ago. 4 months ago I started having some really enlightening realizations of the true pain and scars I’ve caused. 2 months ago my wife said something I perceived as a horrific hurt and I reacted as I usually do when hurt (perceived or real) with scary rage and horrible words the worst blow up ever (only 2 minutes long but 119 seconds toooo long) and I cant express in strong enough words the feelings of guilt and shame I feel. Well after that my wife wants to separate for a while so she can get herself in order. I understand and can’t blame her for a nana second. Well since then my therapist and I have gotten even deeper…scary deep but I asked him for a no bull-shit evaluation of my personality. Last week he gave it and I’ve researched and nervously agree. I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).My question..Long overdo I know) T he research and most people agree there is no cure but I truly want to change… for myself..Ha ha.
alittle irony there. But I also want to save the love of a beautiful, smart truly incredible woman who never deserved an ass like me. I want to change. Is it possible and how the hell can I ever make up for the mountains of crap I’ve piled on my wife.

I need a little help and i am going to make this as short as possible.i have a 20 year old son that has been in a toxic relationship with this girl who just turned 18 in November.To say the least the girl has several mental issues, depression, low self esteem are her high points.They started to go out in january 2008, come to find out she was dating a drug dealer and was already at 16 hooked on drugs. My son told her she had to quit and agreed but that was of course BS. they went out until march of 2009 she broke up with him because she cheated on him at a drug hose party.They were broke up until this September. She claims to going to counseling and is off the drugs. When she came back into my hose she was bone thin and saw her have the shakes several times. The relationship was not the best and around Thanksgiving she did her usual MO. Which is she finds somebody who she thinks is more interesting cheats with that person dumps my son and in a few months it does not work out and she comes crying back to my son and like an idiot he takes her back.His best friend is Guatemalan and very Street smart and he was telling me this girl lied about being off drugs and that she is snorting Roofies, vicaden, oxy cotton, adderal and taking Ecstasy. My sons friend really hates the girl for all the grief she has been giving my son.His friend says she is bleeding from the nose which means its coming from her brain and that the problem will be solved and world will be less on junkie.The question is is my sons friend right is this girl headed for a early grave.He gives her two years.I don’t like the girl but i don’t want her dead i want her scared straight. the other question i have is their any help for her or is she to forgone at this point.. thanks

The mother is 48, the son is 30. She introduced him to drugs when he was 13, and apparently this is how they bonded. She neglected and abandoned him when he was a child, and they meet up and do drugs together.
They are now on a drug binge together, and he’s lost a lot of weight. I’m worried for his health, and think its all despicable. How would you explain the psychosis behind all of this?