How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Now, I know for a fact that I can be over protective of my 10 month old son.. But this is where I put my foot down..

My brother in law has just turned 18 and has gotten into smoking, doing drugs, and drinking whenever he gets the chance. Now, this boy loves his 10 month old nephew, with all his heart, and will never pass up a chance to see him, but he also wants to babysit.. My partner thinks this would be okay, but I put my foot down and said that he is not allowed to until he is clean from the drugs, and he has to be sober that day.. My entire in-law family thinks I am nuts as they don’t know that thier son is into drugs and smoking, and all they know is that I refuse to allow their son to babysit my little boy..

My father is also a constant drunk, and he has been told no babysitting unless there is a complete promise of no alcohol..

My brother has a history of drugs and is prohibited from babysitting..

Now, honestly mummies.. Do you think I am crazy? Or should I allow these drunks and druggos to babysit my son, when they could potentially harm him? Keep in mind he is also crawling and climbing, and EVERYTHING goes into his mouth.. I am afraid of them leaving a bottle of beer or dropping some drugs, and him consuming them..

Please, be honest.. =/
He is a weed user, that will do it anywhere and everywhere.. He also drinks everywhere.. He rang me up drunk about 3 hours ago, just to tell me he was awesome.. Now, does that sound like a uncle that should be allowed to babysit?

He has been to our house and made our son cry when drunk before.

Ok I am having a real problem here and could use some advice from preferably single mothers out there. OK here is my situation, I am dating a wonderful woman who has a 4 year old son. The boys father is sorta involved, he’s really mentally unstable and a serious alcoholic but does see his kid about 2-3 times a month ( mostly when my gf needs him to watch him) The child is absolutely unreal. Screams/whines for every single little thing, defies his mother at every turn, refuses to do anything he doesnt totally feel like doing etc. Makes himself vomit when he dont get his way. The worst part is at bedtime, he pitches the worst fits imaginable and he will not under any circumstances sleep unless she is there next to him, so to put it bluntly its virtually impossible for us to have any time to ourselves, even 1/2 an hour is a huge deal for us. Any suggestions on what I can possibly say to my gf to encourage her or some ideas on how to make things a little better with him would be appreciate

My father and brother live together. They are both alcoholics and when they drink they fight. They are having thanksgiving dinner at their house along with my uncle and cousin who are also violent (they have all gotten into a bad fight with EACHOTHER just this week) and my aunt who is also a drunk. My husband and I have a son who is not even 2. and I don’t think he needs to be around all that.
There is no way to judge when the best time to go is because they are eating at 2 and they start drinking as soon as they wake up so by 2 the fighting will have already begun. How can I tell them we won’t be there without hurting feelings or causing an arguement?
We will be with my mom’s side of the family which is a sore spot for them anyway.
I have asked them not to dink when my son is around and they sneak it anyway.
my dad used to just blow us off as kids. say he was going to be there and then just not show up, and although it is tempting to do the same thing to him, I want to be the bigger person, I remember how disappointing that was.
they have all been in jail and rehab several times. none of them think they have a problem. If they don’t WANT help I CAN’T help them! After 20 years of this behavior I don’t owe them anything. I do love them and I don’t want to hurt their feelings but am willing to risk that not to have my son see the same things I saw as a child——This is for Shell!

My counsins father committed suicide 9 years ago. He went down to the basement and blew his brains out. They still live in this house. She sees him all the time. Sees him going up and down the stairs and sees him sitting in the living room. They hear a lot of noises in the basement. Her mother brought in a psychic who said that he did make it over to the other side but he is just coming to visit. My cousin sits alone in the basement with a ouija board trying to talk to him. No we are not alcoholics or drug addicts and this is for real. I heard on Sylvia Brown that sometimes people do not know they are dead and you need to tell them that they are & and to go to the other side. Do you think he is just visiting here or do you think he could be stuck here. He was a wonderful guy but he had a lot of problems. Also, a friend of mine went over there with her 4 year old son and he said “mommy look at that man on the couch”. Many people in the family see him there. Thanks.

Basic Info:
My ex is in her late 20′s, she’s a recovering drug addict (cocaine). She’s a bit volatile and has some serious personal issues, including being sexually abused by a family member. She has two children. One of which is mine. Ever since our split where she attempted to take her life, she has been in the court, fighting for custody with myself and the other father. In addition to that she was living with her mother in a ranch out in the country.
At first she was able to keep the eldest as long as she wore an ankle bracelet and passed random drug/alcohol tests. And my lawyer negotiated alternating weeks with our child. One week me one week her.

The summer:
Her eldest went to vacation with his father and his family in may. As has happened every year before he spends the entire summer and then returns about a week before school starts.
In the meantime her goal was to get an apartment. The worst thing she ever could have done in my opinion. Soon she was asking me for money for daycare for our son, her youngest.
Because she had to pay for the week he wasn’t there. I gave it once that’s it. After all i had to pay for the week he wasn’t at the daycare he attended when he was with me.

Apartment Life:
I visited her apartment a couple times, hell i helped her move in. We had tried working it out off and on, but nothing solid ever materialized. In fact we were supposed to start going to counseling today. Anyway, she started hanging out with a pair of lesbians and taking my son with her. My son has told me that the one lesbian really hurt his feelings because she told him that he wasn’t cute. In addition to that, he has told me, of his own free will no coercion needed, that his mother routinely drinks with these women. Now that is a blatant violation of our temporary visiting agreement.(don’t remember the exact name for the document). In addition to that she’s been claiming that i’ve molested him. Which only brings back memories of when she was using. I’m worried. I’ve even found beer in her fridge and texts telling her to go to the bar. If anyone has ever done cocaine or know of people who have, drinking and cocaine often go hand in hand.

New information:
I wondered why it was that the eldest hadn’t returned one week before school started. She lied to me and told me that they were going to pick him up two days before school started. B.S. Turns out, two weeks earlier she failed three alcohol tests and the court demanded that she sign the child over to the father. I haven’t gotten my hands on this agreement and the only reason i know that it took place is because the grandmother of the eldest has a relationship with my mother. My mom called to see what happened. That’s what we found out. Not to mention

TRO:
In light of this new information and the evidence i’ve seen and my son has witnessed, i have asked my attorney to get a restraining order put on her. as this is my week. I’m not sure if I can get him to do it in time. But I hope so. And I’m going to push for me to be custodian.

My questions:
Due to the fact, that I don’t know the whole situation, am I doing the right thing? Could I be over reacting? Or is this just God telling me that something is going wrong and my child may be in danger? Does anyone have any thoughts or comments?
All great answers. First response, I agree with. However my attorney is always so damn busy. As far as my son being an “informer”, that’s not the case. I try my best not to ask him any questions about his mother. But he offers up information. It seems at least to me that he had his feelings hurt pretty badly when that woman told him that. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t being cute, but that’s just not right to say that to a child. I appreciate everyone’s comments/opinions here. I guess the main purpose for me was just to get the feeling that I wasn’t doing the wrong thing here.

Thanks.

His father hasn’t exercised his visitation in 2 years. (I am divorced from his dad). My son was very hurt. I found out he used pot and alcohol to deal with it. I took him for help. He’s always been a good kid and a good student. Never got in trouble ever in school either. I caught him using after that and continued to take him. So far as I know, he hasn’t been using.
(drug testing, etc).
His father physically and emotionally abused me. (reason for divorce). He has the typical abuser characteristics, (carrot dangler, master manipulator, etc).
I found out that my son visited him recently, and got $ from him;
My son lied and told him he used that money to pay his car insurance. He lied to me and told me he found $20 and gave it to me and he kept the other $140. He also emailed his father and told him I was “up in arms” that he moved back to our area, and that I would make his life “hell” if I knew he was seeing him. I was devasted by this. I always told my son it was his decision.
I am annoyed and hurt that he lied to his father about the money and me. Why would he do this? I stood by his side helping him for the 2 years he was neglected. I made him come clean with his father and tell him that the money wasn’t used for the insurance. Now my son tells me that he had a plan to use his father and hurt him. What do I believe?
I think my son is backpeddling. Why would he diss me with lies? To look good for his father ? He also told me his father ignored him when he walked in the house. My son was sitting on the couch with his grandmother when my ex walked in. My son said he just looked over and said”Look who it is” and walked upstairs. No hugs, nothing.
Isn’t ignoring your child for 2 years for no good reason abuse? Last comment kind of irritated me.

I have an alcoholic son who has recently lost everything. He’s now living back home with my wife and I, and all he has left is his leased BMW (from back when he actually had an income).

He can no longer afford the BMW’s insurance or the monthly car payment. My wife & I had been paying it for the past 2 months in the hopes that he’d eventually get his act together and start working again, but now we see that’s not going to happen and he’s been going out & driving drunk in it.

Today we decided that we’re not going to pay for him any longer and the longer his car sits in our driveway the more drama it’s causing. So I called up the BMW people and asked them to come take the car, but they said I wasn’t “authorized” to speak with them. Can I just take the car to a local BMW dealership and drop it off? Our son is stressing us out to no end with the car payments and driving drunk, etc — we just want to get rid of it. 1 door is dented on it caus he’s irresponsible and crazy.

After 18 months in a custody dispute, our judge determined that even though during this lawsuits time frame, my son’s mother has been arrested 2 times for cocaine possession and also received a DUI with our child in the vehicle. that he would not grant me temporary custody of our child until my ex wife under went rehab.. and at that time I would be more than willing to divide the custody jointly when he was able to care for our child.

This is just a brief description of how our divorce came about, and how we ended up in court.. but if I grabbed a picket sign and sat outside the courthouse (just myself) would I be arrested. I appealed, but this is some kind of joke. There was no rehab ordered for her or anything. Just a psychological exam that she failed miserably.

I want to get her the help she needs. I even offered to pay for it although we are separated. I was denied and our child still remains with her.

Would I be arrested if I did a one man protest outside the court house?

my best friend is breastfeeding her 6month old son. i found out by accident that she’d done some cocaine earlier today wheni went to see her. SHe’s absolutely crazy. Obviously I told her not to breastfeed her son at least for the rest of the day. But does anyone know how ong it can be before she breastfeeds him again without him getting any major amts of cocaine. she was really depressed and used to be a drug addict. IDK why she fell back into that if she KNOWS she’s breastfeeind. but she wants to continue breastfeeding.
im pretty sure this is an isolated incident. i talked to her husband already and told him what i found out. she’s goign to be staying at her mom’s with the baby while her husband’s at work. i just want to know how long b4 she can breastfeed

I am a stay-at-home mom and am divorcing my alcoholic husband. At present, the alimony & child support I will receive won’t be enough to continue caring for my son full-time. I’ll have to put him in daycare 9 hours a day to make ends meet (I DON’T want to do that!).
Here is the question…My husband is being considered for a new job where he will make $50,000 more per year! If I wait to file for divorce until he starts this new job, will I receive more in child support and alimony? I wonder mainly because we’ve been separated for 4 months and I don’t know if the courts will look at his income at the time of separation or at the time the divorce is filed.
I know some nasty person is going to call me money grubbing, but this is ALL about avoiding putting my young son in daycare all day long when he’s used to being at home with me. I’ll be working full-time as soon as he’s in regular school.
Thanks!

I am a stay-at-home mom and am divorcing my alcoholic husband. At present, the alimony & child support I will receive won’t be enough to continue caring for my son full-time. I’ll have to put him in daycare 9 hours a day to make ends meet (I DON’T want to do that!).
Here is the question…My husband is being considered for a new job where he will make $50,000 more per year! If I wait to file for divorce until he starts this new job, will I receive more in child support and alimony? I wonder mainly because we’ve been separated for 4 months and I don’t know if the courts will look at his income at the time of separation or at the time the divorce is filed.
I know some nasty person is going to call me money grubbing, but this is ALL about avoiding putting my young son in daycare all day long when he’s used to being at home with me. I’ll be working full-time as soon as he’s in regular school.
Thanks!

I am a stay-at-home mom and am divorcing my alcoholic husband. At present, the alimony & child support I will receive won’t be enough to continue caring for my son full-time. I’ll have to put him in daycare 9 hours a day to make ends meet (I DON’T want to do that!).
Here is the question…My husband is being considered for a new job where he will make $50,000 more per year! If I wait to file for divorce until he starts this new job, will I receive more in child support and alimony? I wonder mainly because we’ve been separated for 4 months and I don’t know if the courts will look at his income at the time of separation or at the time the divorce is filed.
I know some nasty person is going to call me money grubbing, but this is ALL about avoiding putting my young son in daycare all day long when he’s used to being at home with me. I’ll be working full-time as soon as he’s in regular school.
Thanks!

I am a stay-at-home mom and am divorcing my alcoholic husband. At present, the alimony & child support I will receive won’t be enough to continue caring for my son full-time. I’ll have to put him in daycare 9 hours a day to make ends meet (I DON’T want to do that!).
Here is the question…My husband is being considered for a new job where he will make $50,000 more per year! If I wait to file for divorce until he starts this new job, will I receive more in child support and alimony? I wonder mainly because we’ve been separated for 4 months and I don’t know if the courts will look at his income at the time of separation or at the time the divorce is filed.
I know some nasty person is going to call me money grubbing, but this is ALL about avoiding putting my young son in daycare all day long when he’s used to being at home with me. I’ll be working full-time as soon as he’s in regular school.
Thanks!

i do not exclusively breastfeed my son, we use formula as well because i do not make a lot of milk. so i was wanting to drink a mikes hard lemonade and i wanted to know how long i had to wait after drinking it to nurse him again…i can pump and not use it but i need to know how long until its safe to nurse him again. i obviously don’t want him to get any alcohol in his system. and no…i’m not a bad mom…i DO care about my kid…thats why i’m asking before i drink. thanks

The crack cocaine addict I was speaking of was MY son – and it was my grandson he had sitting outside the crack house. He had been working on my house for the past couple of weeks and I loaned him my car to go buy some paint – and then he called to say he wasn’t able to make it back in time for me to pick my grandson up from school so he would go ahead and do it. I would have bet the farm that he would NEVER put one of his children in harms way – but obviously I would have been wrong. I was just looking for some insight – but if you choose to condemn and judge I pray you never have to walk a mile in my shoes – or those of my son.

I have primary residential custody and joint legal custody of my 6 yr old son. Alcoholic Ex didn’t give me any idea of when he wanted summer visitation until today. He wants to have my son for 5 weeks, broken up between now, into the month of October. My son goes back to school at the end of August, can he do that? I thought summer visitation was supposed to be taken during the summer break from school.

My 22 year old cousin is 7 weeks pregnant…but she prostitutes and also uses crack cocaine the whole time she has been pregnant. She has a 3 year old son who was tested positive with crack cocaine in his system when he was born and he was given over to her aunt. What can be done right now while she is pregnant to get her off the streets and stop using. We try and help her, but the second she leaves here…she is back out there on the streets again walking. Anyhelp would be great. The father of the baby is in jail right now…so…he can’t do much. Any opinions would be great, thanks!
She will not go to any drug treatments, the longest she was clean was the few weeks she spent in jail. Would CPS be able to be able to do anything…if they cannot find her?? She doesn’t really live anywhere, just whereever she falls asleep

My Son is a second (2nd) year college Student, he is 20 years old. He has a report due on Wednesday November 14, 2007 at Rio Hondo College in Whittier California. the report is about LOWERING THE DRINKING AGE TO 18 years of age. My son’s Thesis Statement and Main Topic is that WHY in CALIFORNIA the Drinking Age SHOULD NOT be Lowered to Age 18! BUT HE NEEDS MAIN TOPICS and SUB-TOPICS as to WHY THE DRINKING OF ALCOHOLIC DRINKS in California SHOULD NOT BE LOWERED TO AGE 18! Help me People I Need you NOW, it is not for me, I am doing this for My Son’s Report! Please Give me answers Now!

I have a cousin whose son was removed from her custody when he was 1 day old because she tested positive for Meth. He was in a foster care home for a month and then our Aunt was given temporary custody while my cousin attended drug rehab, etc. My cousin completed the rehab program and was doing quite well for a while. She even got a job for a short period. But when the baby’s father went to jail she seemed to lose interest in getting the baby back. She was fired from her job for not showing up. She had a dirty drug test and has cancelled numerous visitation appointments because she said she was ill. At the last custody hearing the judge opted not to change anything as far as custody for the next 6 months. The baby is now 14 months old and has been with my Aunt for a year. I hear that the goal of the courts in Ca is to reunite the mother and baby. My cousin gave up her rights to 2 other children but seems to want this one because the baby’s father does. Do you think she’ll get custody?

WE have been divorced for 6 years now/ I tried to do this 2 years ago but the lawyer told me my chances were slim..I called CPS and they didnt give a crap..all they do is go there and ask him if he is an alcoholic..of course he says no and they say ok sorry to bother you. I forgot to mention that last year he had FELONY charges against him for child abuse allegations from his 9 year old step daughter, he took pre trial diversion. But his second wife has recently divorced him (He kicked her out to move in his best friends wife) and my son has been telling me more and more things..so the only witnesses i have are my son, hospital records, court records, the school counselor and his second ex wife. He already pays support..well he is ordered but he rarely pays it so i dont care about that. CPS wont do anything because they say my son is 12 and old enought to take care of himself and it isnt illegal to be drunk around your kids.