How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I am not sure where to begin. My 16 year old son, has been in and out of trouble for drug use.

I will preface this with I have my hands FULL besides his issues of what seems to be a constant habit of messing up. I have a child who is three with a chronic condition which requires hospital stays several times a year, a baby, and two other children.

Long story short, I had to show a case of tough love and call the cops on him for bringing marijuana in the house thus endangering other family members. I almost, I repeat almost wish I turned a blind eye on it because I feel like not only is he on probation, but I am being treated like some kind of criminal by his probation officer.

I have complied with everything they asked, when I have issues or have reason to suspect anything of my son I call the po, and do the best I can to try to get him on the right path. However, when my son messes up (example, he was on house arrest all summer and unknown to me, after all I do have to sleep sometimes, he snuck out a couple of times during this summer) and his po yelled and me and asked if I encouraged it after it getting back to him that he did this!

Umm, no, I just want him to get through the program and I would never do anything like that but I can’t have control over him 24/7. I feel this man is out to get me and drag me under the bus. My son while on probation is in this program as well, called drug court, and we meet with a judge and panel including his po every two weeks. Well, last drug court meeting, his po surprised me with a rumor he had heard which was, in small words embellished. See, before all of this happenend, my son’s friends brought over this stuff they call legal bud. It’s supposed to be like a legal alternative to getting high and being over 18, I took a small puff of it out of curiousity (look, I don’t even drink alcohol let alone do anything illegal) and then felt REALLY stupid for it and proceeded to tell said friends to remove this stuff from my home, that while legal, it is not good to do. So, here it is, many, months after the fact and his po says he heard from some kids that I did “substances’ with my son, and I explained to him what happened, and he STILL told this to the judge! I explained my case to the judge and he seemed okay with it, but I was furious that this po seemed to throw me under the bus and for what? I said to the po I would willingly submit drug tests to prove my innocence and said you can search my home and find nothing and he was like ‘ I will do just that’. Like I said, I have nothing to hide, but I also feel very violated at the idea of having to pee in a cup in front of someone when I did nothing illegal and does he have the power to do this to me?

Other problems I have with him is that he will give me maybe an hour’s advance notice for a meeting, and say I have other issues like once he did this and I was about to take my sick child mentioned earlier to her neurologist (you have to book these appointments there 6 months in advance and she had just got out of the hospital so I HAD to get her there) and he gave me some sort of attitude about it.

Another part of this program that is required of my son is that he is to attend the YMCA twice a week. The court gives the whole family access to it, but me and the other kids don’t get to utilize it too much because we have so many other things going on in a day and besides, we are not the ones on probation. One time, the po raised his voice to me in MY dining room about the rest of the family not going enough. Like I said, it’s MY SON on probation, not the rest of us! And on the same visit, he asked my 15 year old daughter who has NEVER been in trouble in her life, who is very timid and a straight A student in a rather mean tone, ‘SO, are you doing legal bud too’?

I guess the bottom line is this; Should he be allowed to nag the rest of us like this? I am at my wits end with stress dealing with my son who doesn’t seem to want to follow rules, have him in counseling, drug treatment, and feel like I have to devote so much to him and not be able to divide my time properly with my other children.

Other things to note; My I remarried, and my husband works a lot, and tries to help when he can, but as far as his father goes, he lives in a different state and sees him once maybe twice a year and says he washed his hands of the situation and won’t even take him to live with him.
The only reason I “ratted’ him out was because his former po said that if I did not, and I knew he had it in the house, I could lose my other kids. If I knew the reprocutions it would bring to my whole family, including him, I would NEVER have done it.

Legal weed is something I tried ONE TIME only. That was the only sort of substance I think I have done in many years(since my own teen years) , including alcohol.
Sadly, he also didn’t just “smoke a little weed”. He got into prescription drugs and alcohol as well.
Pigdaddy: So I should have just “ignored’ and had them find out I let him have it in the house and then have DFS take my other kids away?

Before this, I was not as ‘experienced” in dealing with people in government and thought you did what they said or else.

I guess this is what I get for posting this on the internet.

Our 6 year old son has stolen 7 times within the last month from his father, little brother & myself (Mommy)! The first time he got a spanking and we sat down and talked to him and said we’d give him another chance. Second time he got spanked and put in the corner and a talk and something taken away that he likes third time corner and everything taken away. 3rd time and kept stealing we kept all his toys away from him no tv no play time no talking. I don’t know what to do. This last time I was very mad and had to walk down the street so I didn’t knock him out! Besides, this he is a good kid! He’s great in school good listener and also there to help someone out. Recently, he’s been really SNEAKY and LYING all the time about EVERYTHING and STEALING constantly! Also, when i went to talk to him. He told me he doesn’t love me & his father and he steals cause he gets what he wants when he wants it. I even tried counseling but that’s not even working. What do we do cause my husband wants to send our son to boot camp but I don’t know if that’s best. All this started about a month ago. He doesn’t have anyone negative in his life. there are no drugs or alcohol or cussing aloud in this house or around our son. We also keep all grown folk business between my husband and myself. Please someone help my family and I.

My son is 9. He has been diagnosed: ADHD, ODD, Bipolar, Aspergers Autism, Reactive attatchment disorder, Conduct disorder, Mood disorder NOS, Disgraphia, Adjustment disorder, no Impulse control…………… As you can see he is a handful. And yes, t those of you who think a child needs to be beat to listen…………….I’ve even tried corpral punishments, they don’t help. He just becomes more aggressive. He has been kicked out of daycares, schools and all. He has been hospitalized on numerous occations for psych. treatment. I have tried so much. Does anyone have any info. that might be helpful. I am desperate to help him! And no I didnt use alcohol or drugs.

Mature advice only please. I am serious. I need honest mature opinions to this problem. I am trying to save my marriage. I have a big problem. My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober from alcohol for almost 6 months. He is also addicted to pills, mainly xanax and lortabs. He does good for a while, then relapses. I understand this is one of the hardest addictions to try and stop on your own and I am trying to give him all the support I can to help him through this. The problem is… his mother keeps giving him pills behind my back. He finally confessed it to me and now I am stuck with a hard decision to make. What to do about his mother. Do I cut her out of our lives? She is on parole for drug charges herself as she is an addict.. Family traditions huh? I am so angry, I am considering calling her Parole Officer explaining my situation and informing him that she is still doing drugs and every time they call her in for her drug test, she has been using a detox to pee clean, and the shampoo for the hair follicle test. I know this because she told me this. She has already peed dirty once and she denied it and I guess the PO let it slide. Should I go to her PO and tell him what I know to get her out of our lives and away from my husband? Shouldn’t I do something to keep her away? I need help… Please
I have talked to her repeatedly about giving pills to her son and the last time I talked to her, she said, “Well you know he’s never going to quit taking pills”, so I told her, “Not if you keep supplying them he won’t” and she left mad. She knows how I feel, but she doesn’t care. She has been giving him pills since he was a young child, only then she gave him Valium so he would go to bed early so she could stay up and party with her friends. I know this because my husband told me this. He and I are being honest with each other at last. I hate making my husband feel like he is stuck in the middle as he is going through a hard enough time trying to kick his addictions, but his mother has been an enabler to him for so long now. I told him I don’t want her coming to my home that she is not welcome because I can’t trust her to support him or me in our marriage and his recovery. He and I have been going to a church for a year now to find help through the Lord and trying to get our lives straightened out. The devil keeps sending people in our lives trying to mess things up. And on top of all that, his mother decided to come to our church this morning. But not alone…she had brought along a woman who my husband used to go out with and has recently “befriended”, and she knows I can’t stand her. She is trying to cause problems in my life. How do I put a stop to it

Ok, I need to say this beginning. My husband & I divorced a lil over 4 years ago. He has been through so much. He is going to b 9 in September. Here is the problem. My children have seen their father abuse myself, his new wife, and other people. My ex is into drugs, guns, knives, etc. I do the best that I can to keep stuff put up- Knives are on top of the frig, NO GUNS OR DRUGS OR ALCOHOL in my house. My son was suspended last Wednesday for 2 1/2 days because he took a letter opener to school. I have found my kitchen knives in his room, under my couch, tucked into the furniture etc. I dont know what to do. I have tried grounding, spanking, everything. I dont know what to do. I am so scared that he is going to hurt himself or others. He has been seeing a counselor. He has been on medication since he was 5. (ADHD). Does anyone have any advice. He is fixing to spend 6 weeks with his father. I am terrified.

So, been marriend for almost 8 years. At about 3 years we planned and had a pregnancy that we lost, our daughter lived for 4 hours and died. After that I told my wife that I did not love her anymore and that I was in love with another, which was a lie to push her away because I wanted to hate everything around me, I was 25 she was 23. She pushed it aside and stayed with me, the 3 years we after we lost our daughter were hell on both of us, she wanted us to go through all of the loss together and i was in my own world of hate and discontent, mad at the world for our loss and wanting somebody to blame. I never blamed her, abused her physically. Emotionally though I was not there for her. Before the 3 years were up, we decided to try again, even thought we might lose that one as well. It ended beautifully, we had our son, who is now 3. I eventually, at around the 3 year point, came out of my darkness of hate and discontent and started seeing the world as a good place. I told her that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the hell i had put her through by being emotionally unavailable to her. I started doing my best to be the man that she married, being happy go lucky and just loving life. Times we good for about a year were I though she was actually forgiving me, however, shortly after I transfered from shore duty to sea duty and I went underway, while I was out to sea(I am Navy) she cheated on me. She told me she did via email while I was on deployment. This devistated me because I thought things were getting better. Neither one of us had ever been unfaithful to one another before and she was never the type to cheat, or at least I thought. By that time, our son was 1 1/2. I traded my career to come home from my deployment to basically try to fix or figure out what was wrong and see if we could salvage it. For the next 6 months things were bad, we fought, i miss trusted her and I second guessed her every move, i didnt want to get caught blind to cheating again. I never abused her, not even emotionally for this, she told me that part of the reason she had done it was to see if she still wanted to be with me after everything that had happened. She said that she did and she would spend the rest of her life making it up to me. I have slowly come out of my second guessing her ever move and have accepted that in order to move on i have to take a leap of faith again to trust her. Our son is three now and once again I thought that things were getting better, then I realized that somewhere in all this mess my wife has become somewhat of an alcoholic, seemed like every day she would be drinking. In a way I didn’t want to see it cause I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. Finally I accepted it and I confronted her about it. She would go through good period and then she would go right back to it. She has like 3 generation of alcoholic before her. I understand alcoholism very well, I have six generation before me and I have been able to stay away from it even though I do drink on occasion. She finally adimited to me a few days ago that she was still mad at me for telling her that i did not love her anymore, even though she has, for the most part acted like everything is fine. We got into fight, minor things, money, our son, decision that were made about something about the house and it always seems to come to her saying maybe we have to much between us. I believe in my vowels in that i am very old fashioned for my age, not to say that i don’t believe in divorce, but i dont believe in quiting just because it gets hard. I told her that I wish she would have told me she was angry soon, instead I believe she has been holding it all this time, letting it eat at her and turn into hate and resentment. When she drinks she is completely irrational and that make the fights worse. We dont fight until the kid goes to bed but i am worried he is going to start seeing and hearing it. I wish more than anything to make this work and figure it out. When i get really frustrated I think about divorce but cant bring myself to actually voice it cause it mean i am giving up. I am up at 4:38 in the morning talking about this cause we fought tonight becaues it seems that she has the inability to understand that as a man and at this point in our relationship i need to know that she needs me, sexually, usually it is me that engages this. I get tired of the fact that she never engages me in this. There is alot of detail that goes into the build up of the fight but lets just say is was a very nice evening, quite romantic per her definition and i still went to bed by myself and she followed and went to sleep with her back turned. I was still awake and asked her what i had done wrong, she said, why cant i just want to be close to you even though. Now I dont expect sex 24/7 and I really dont pressure her, however, I really wanted her tonight, I mean we danced together this ev
As far as the first answer goes, I understand what you are saying and that is not the case, we havent had sex in a month and this is not the first night we have had a good night, this was just a really great night, its not all about sex, its about her letting me know that, besides seeing me as provider, father, friend, shoulder to cry on, supporter. That I can still be her lover!? But I know you are right, women are wired differently and men shall always try to figure it out and never be able to quite grasp it.

My wife and I have a fantastic life together. We have a wonderful son and she is the most amazing mum. I am so blessed to have them in my life. The problem I have is that my wife’s father is a border line alcoholic and he is starting to cause issues in our life. Most days he drinks 10-15 cans of beer followed by a couple glasses of spirits or port – more on the weekends. He is a retired war veteran on a disability pension due to an injury to his hearing in Vietnam.
The problem I have is that since our son was born last year he is in our lives more regularly now and it is causing issues between me and my wife. I know her Dad is well meaning, but there have been several times he has done things that I consider dangerous. Here’s a few examaples:
After his 10-15 beers he will want to nurse our son. I am not happy about this because I’m concerned that because he is under the influence of alcohol he might drop our son or unintentionally injure him.
We have an old dog that spends most of the time in our garage now, so that he is comfortable and safe. When my father-in-law visits he constantly leaves the garage door open. Generally our dog will stay at home, but I have found him wandering around on the front yard or across the street. We are only two blocks from a major road.
He will regularly fall asleep at night after drinking and leave doors unlocked. I try to make sure all the doors are locked before I go to bed, but he will get up in the night for a “nip of something” and go for a wander in the back yard and then forget to re-lock the doors when he comes in.
If he suggests an idea to us, he will automatically assume we agree and then put that plan into action – generally meaning I will have to pay for something I didn’t want in the first place. We’re on one income now and can’t afford to spend money frivelously.
He will feed our son food that we have specifically asked him not to because he thinks “it’ll be alright, the little fella needs to try everything”. Things like peanut butter or fish (I am alergic to fish and seafood so there’s a possability our son might be too)
The problem is that my wife won’t let me say anything to her father and is reluctant to say anything to him because he is so blase’ about most things in life. As a result there is now tension between my wife and I.
I don’t dislike her father at all, I just want him to respect our wishes and our property.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

I know that a lot of innocent children are harmed during the making of coke, but to think that cocaine is getting profit out of their teeth is just wrong and makes my feet warm. How are we supposed to protect our children if propane is making profit out of both cocaine and coca cola and the only ones to thank for gas is the children? I’m assuming this is why we’re supposed to tell our kids the tooth fairy exists, so we can give their teeth for coca cola’s cocaine, but how do they get it? I guess the general question is me wondering if cocaine is made out of children’s teeth and if this can be prevented by telling them the truth about the tooth fairy. My son is fifteen now and I think he’s getting suspiscious, I had to take him out of school because his friends were telling him that the tooth fairy wasen’t real, and I’m not going to let my bills pay for what cocaine is doing to our children!

This is for all the parents out there who don’t want Coca Cola being the new Google!

I love my boyfriend but this relationship isn’t right for me. He just is very insensitive to my needs. He is a great dad and tries to be a good boyfriend but theres a lot of things that I can’t deal with. Hes controlling – tells me what to do and when to do it. Hes best friends with his ex girlfriend who he had a pretty frequent sexual relationship with and he even brought her to the hospital when i gave birth!! that really pissed me off! plus his parents don’t want us together and his dad calls me a liar and says my home is unsafe for my son which is total crap considering his dads a former alcoholic and they swear and scream all the time. I just can’t deal with this anymore and I know he wont give all that up for me so i need to leave him but I dont want to hurt him. How can I break up with him?

I love my boyfriend but this relationship isn’t right for me. He just is very insensitive to my needs. He is a great dad and tries to be a good boyfriend but theres a lot of things that I can’t deal with. Hes controlling – tells me what to do and when to do it. Hes best friends with his ex girlfriend who he had a pretty frequent sexual relationship with and he even brought her to the hospital when i gave birth!! that really pissed me off! plus his parents don’t want us together and his dad calls me a liar and says my home is unsafe for my son which is total crap considering his dads a former alcoholic and they swear and scream all the time. I just can’t deal with this anymore and I know he wont give all that up for me so i need to leave him but I dont want to hurt him. How can I break up with him?

I was deported from the US in 1999 for importation of cocaine. Since then i have not had any other crime there except for entering illegally and a DUI so will I have problems to immigrate to Canada?? What are the steps to take. My Wife and son are american citizen and since I cant go to the US and we dont want to live in Mexico we decided to go there.

I currently live in Clarksville, Tennessee. My family and I have lived there for about three years, before that I lived in another town outside of Nashville that was much smaller. Since moving to Clarksville I have noticed over the few years living there that the violence of the town has worsen. When we first got there the crime rate was not as bad as now. Almost every night on the news or in the paper and new crime has happened. This worries me because it puts my family at risk, also since my husband is in the military he is not at home. When he is gone I tend to worry more about crime happening around me.
For instance just a couple of weeks ago I turned on the news and a man had been shot. He was found on a back road and the cop that stopped thought the man had been in a wreck. When the EMS arrived and got him out he had been shot in the head. All of this was less than two miles from my house. And it is not like I live in a bad area, I actually thought our neighborhood was safe and some what crime free. We have since sold that house and are moving, but it frightens me to know how close that was to my family. On another instance in broad daylight there was a random shooting at our local Wal-Mart killing a man. And finally this act of crime happened at a local drug store three men robbed an eighty year old woman at a drug store. They took her hostage and made her smoke crack then raped her.
These are just a few senseless crimes that have happened since I have lived there. It scares me because it doesn’t matter who you are or what time of day, these things can happen. I worry when my husband is away that what if someone breaks in or when I am out alone with my son. Woman always seem to be a easy target for violence and it can happen to anyone. I don’t think there is a quick fix for ending all this high crime in our area. But maybe out community can come together and have more crime watching. The justice system could also be more harsh to these people comminting the crimes. If it’s this bad now what will it be like in another three years. If something is not done you can almost bet it will be worse.

My son was arrested 11/2 years ago.He got a high fine for having a broken ink pen and a very small amount of meth in his truck. He went to court and they put him in Drug Court classes. He went 3 times a week. Drug tested 3 times a week. Home work etc. Have to go to 5 NA meetings a week and keep a full time job. His meeting were 8:00 till 10:00 3 times a week and was to graduate to phase 2 this week. His probation office has harrassed him from the get go.I have plenty of evidence on the harressment.Her threats has made him loose his mind and he could not handle this anymore. it was bad. He went across the state line to go to work to send money back to pay his fines off and his plans were to come back and turn himself in after he made the money. His probation officier made it inpossible for him to keep a job to pay fines and they were all due.A cop profiled him in Louisisana. And now in jail waiting extradition.What can i do for him? Is a verbal hold enough to keep him in jail there?
He was arrested for failing to use a turn signal and out ran the law. His brothers turned him in. Can i help my son? My heart is broke. Every time he trys to get on with his life he gets shot down. Please no dumb jokes on this. This is my sons life. Only answer my question from your heart. They say he can bail out but he has a hold on him from Arkansas probation officier. Is a verbal hold legal? How long can they keep him in jail on a verbal hold. There is no warrents out for him in Arkansas.But if his fines are not payed in 2 weeks they will put a warrent out. He is stuck in a hard place. What would you do? Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!P.S. The cop went across a county (parish line) and shot at him. He hit the woods scared and the cop shot his tires out. The parish he was picked up in didn’t want him but the other parish did. Please help>>>>>

All the troops do in korea is drink. They are only allowed off post in groups.as the korean people do not want americans there. He needs help before the army kicks him out. He is a new father and really needs to get help to keep his family togather. his wife is considering divorce, he is not physically or verbally abusive.I am a heartbroken Mom.