How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My friend just got out of rehab for Suboxone and crack cocaine abuse about a month ago after checking in voluntarily having realized he needed help (Suboxone was the primary problem, the crack was just a drug he did in tandem with it.) . He’s been really good about staying away from both as well as the people who facilitate his abusive behavior so far. We’ve gone to the bars a few times since or had some beers at my place with no noticeable problems on his end about cravings. However, his father called me and told me I need to stop drinking with him entirely, for good, or he will do his best to separate the two of us; saying that as an addict the alcohol will lead him either back to those drugs or to alcoholism. We’re both 21 and college students so he’s not a minor that can be forcibly controlled by his parents, but in the same right his father is doing what he thinks he needs to to keep his son safe. I am skeptical about whether he really should never drink again, or whether his father is operating under the assumption that my friend is simply unable to control any of his behavior and, in doing so, being overprotective.

His father got the information about it from the former drug user that leads the family IOP meetings he attends having completed his voluntary rehabilitation. Unlike my friend who realized he had a problem before he ruined his life, this guy lost his family, friends, job, etc. and then went to rehab. He got out clean and sober and then relapsed one night after having 3 or so beers. So to me it seems like this person sees every member of his group as a worst case scenario of someone who hit rock bottom. I realize that he is talking from experience, but I also realize that not all drug users are the same, and that not all are so unable to control their impulses; seeing as how my friend has had a few drinks so far with no desire to relapse. However, his father takes every possible piece of advice in any context as applicable to his son’s own situation and demands that he not drink at all and that I refuse to drink with him entirely. Drinking is a bit of a ritual for us in that once or twice a month we get together and have a few beers down town or at one of our houses and just play video games or chat, so to stop entirely is completely possible, but not desirable on either end.

I’m just looking for professional advice or regular opinions on all this:

Is it true that no drug addict should drink after rehabilitation under any circumstances even if alcohol was never a problem for them?

If so, should they refrain from drinking for good or just take time away from it until their life is back in order?

Should I refuse to drink with him at all?

Am I in the wrong for thinking that he can drink without worrying about his former drug addiction?

All responses are greatly appreciated, thanks.

7 years with same man. Drug and alcoholic. Has nothing, dosen’t aknowledge his own son and has abused me mentally and physically before but I can’t stop thinking about him and loving him. Please help my phycotic thinking.

In case of my death, our son would go to my brother and his wife? Does he have to sign it also? Do we have to be divorced first?
He won’t get custody of our son. He shoots dope and drinks all day doesn’t work and hasn’t called my son in about 4 months. Hasn’t given us any money in about 9 months

I say you cannot lose your licence – people ride bikes who do not have driving licences. My son-in-law says you can! Who is right?

my son was told by his wife’s attorney that she will get the house because she can prove he is an alcoholic

my stepson’s mom is ok letting her 15, almost 16 yr old son work at Keller’s Hamburger’s off Northwest Highway. He wrkd there last yr, while we hated it and think it is completely wrong. She and her mom wrk there and are there with him, but he still gets to handle empty beer bottles and even be around all the drunks that hang out there. I think it is illegal.

My husband of 29yrs. was sniffing cocaine occasionally when I first met him. The past two yrs. it escalated to a one hundred a dollar a day habit. It had caused a lot of pain and financial hardships. I also have two children; a daughter 19 and a son 16. I hid this problem from his family and my children all these years. For fear of how they would be hurt and affected form this knowledge. I am 49yrs. old and have had enough! I told my children & his family the truth and at this time seeking a long overdue divorce. He is the only person that can help himself. I almost destroyed myself trying to help him. In fear of me divorcing him he actually quit! Slowly weened himself off. I know it will be temporary unless he get professional help. He also drank of course all theses years along with the cocaine. He was never sick a day in his life. Now he had developed ulcerated colitis and has been hospitalized 3 times and needed 3 blood transfusions. He has to continually have his blood count checked and is on steroids to control the bleeding plus other medication. My question is; is it possible that by stopping the cocaine use this could have any connection with his recent illness? I finally reached a time in my life where I have to think of myself & felt that my children could understand the situation with me leaving their father…and they do. Now he gets this illness. Can anyone please give me any info or advise?? Thank You.

I have known this individual for over two years. He was a kind and wonderful person with a promising career in the field of neuroscience. A head injury he received at 18 initiated his prescription drug abuse, and he has been hooked ever since. His grades are plummeting, he lost his job, and numerous behavioral issues are starting to surface. I tried contacting his family once before to inform them of the issue, but they didn’t seem concerned and did nothing about it.

I later found out from his sister that his parents were aware of the issue. She tried to get him help, but they told her to shut up about it. They are from a small town, and she told me that they didn’t want people knowing their son was an addict. I hate to portray them this way, but the mother is legitimately a “refrigerator mother” and the father is entirely apathetic. Their son desperately wants help, but they would prefer to ignore the issue and have him handle it on his own.

When things became very bad, I contacted them yet again and they finally flew into FL to see their son. It soon became clear that they wanted to get me out of the picture, and to get me to shut up because they are embarrassed. They would rather live in denial than deal with the inconvenience of having an addict family member.

I feel as though they are going to throw their son in rehab, and leave him there to rot. They have never been actively involved in any of their children’s lives (they are likely responsible for the development of these issues in the first place -3/4 of their children suffer from similar problems). They are not proactive, and though they knew their son had this problem, they wouldn’t even do so much as to call him to see how he was on a regular basis. I refuse to let him sit there in rehab alone with no support system. What do I do?

My son is 21 . He has anger problem that has to do with disfunctional family history. he does not want to be like his alcoholic father but acts up exactly like him when drunk. His father is away overseas indefinitely and I am the only one left to deal with the problem. I love my son very much and want to help him get therapy for he needs it badly. One nite he break up with his GF and had to move out, he got very upset and breaking things and punching his GF. My friend came to help me to deal with the situation and end up wrestling the mad son down. Police had to be called to resolve the situation. Now he called me and promise to kill me ,my friend and himself. I had him arrested and pushing the court to force him to get therapy. he co-operates but still very angry. Have I any hope to ever get my son realize I love him and want to help him for better life. Will he forgive me?

Okay, well, there’s actually a few characters I’d like you to name (for a book in my story). First names are all that’s needed. Thanks!

1. Single mother, sort of irresponsible, always with a new boyfriend and occasionally binge drinks, though she isn’t an alcoholic. Not really a very good mother, but she does love all her children. Dark red hair, tall and slender.

2. 18-year-old boy, light, sandy hair, does drugs and used to do alcohol but hasn’t ever drunk since an incident a few years before. Intense and lonely, consumed by guilt but also selfish. (Son of person 1)

3. 20-year old girl, long, curly red hair and bright brown eyes, obsessed with making something of herself and studying to be a psychologist(daughter of person 1, sister of person 2)

4. A male prosecutor who has 3 kids, two boys and a girl, who he loves more than anything, except perhaps his wife. His other daughter was kidnapped and killed, which is why he’s a prosecutor. He loves his job and likes to think he’s making the world safer for his children. However, he has a brother who’s a criminal (theft, DUIs, and assault) but is now out of jail and living on a trailer on the prosecutor’s backyard. He finds out that his brother and wife are having an affair, and his wife wants a divorce and custody of the kids.

Thank you!!!

I have been getting harrassing texts from my grandsons mother calling me terrible names and even insinuated she wanted me dead. It is her boyfriends cell phone and he admitted he knew about the texts, and was there when she sent some of them. Is it possible he can get in trouble with his cell phone carrier for allowing her to do this?
We have custody of her son, she’s a meth addict, and has been arrested six times for assault. Not a nice person.

iam worried that my ex is taking this drug and she has my son there

we both work and have a 6 year old son, when the weekend comes friday night and saturday are his since he works so hard he tells me and our son that sunday is our family day to go out and do things together. well he lied just like every sunday today his excuse is it is raining and our son is sick . his cocaine problem has been going on for almost 20 years in and out of prison even though he stays at home and parties still he is so self absorbed in himself and the cocaine he never has time for nobody especially his family.when he comes off the drug from the week and is actually sober he is a commpletely different person he’s cruel and says bad things to me never shows love towards me unless he is high on the drug which is 4 days out of a week. i have tried to help him but nothing has ever worked. what can i do to make him see he reallys need help i do love him still.?

Okay, a little more depth about this question- I feel like I am like way different then everyone else because well I look at things differently then anyone else. My logic seems to make sense to me and only me and no one else can understand what and how I come to my conclusions. Honestly, I have found absolutely no one who can relate to me. More over, I look at death as a not bad thing-to me, death doesn’t matter. Even if it is a loved one who you care about greatly and just you say “Oh my god, I couldn’t live without you.” or something like that like I just don’t seem to have that same view on life. Everyone is so careful about everything and doesn’t wanna take chances but then they are also hypocritical because they say also that life is short so live it. And I look at rules, laws, restrictions, everything that is around me, and I think it is the dumbest thing, but no one else seems to understand my logic behind these realizations. For instance, drinking age in america. I am 15 years old. I don’t really like to drink, and I don’t like the taste of alcohol but I think that it is ridiculous that the drinking age in america is 21 years old. This is the reason why most of the teens in america die from alcohol related deaths. They aren’t allowed to drink in public, so they stock up, and binge drink and get really f**ked up. This to me is like retarded because if the drinking age was 15 like it is in france then there wouldn’t be this problem of binge drinking with teens. Does anyone else understand that? So far, everyone that i have talked to about it is like “You’re really stupid Dane” (that’s my name…) and so yea. My parents rules are so terrible and I just cant stand them. My mom is SO safe and doesn’t let me do anything. I mean, seriously. I know it is the parents jobs to protect your child, but this is just ridiculous what she does. I cant even get started on that cause I’ll just keep blabbering on about how much I hate it. I, myself, am a outgoing, not thinking teenager. I do the stuff I do, then think about it later. I almost never back out of anything unless it means certain death and I can see it that way. Like jumping onto a bottle of dry ice of extreme pressure. I was dared to do that but I backed out because the danger issue of that is huge. But other things like jumping off of a 15 foot cliff on my old school hard tail mountain bike I do not deny because it looks and sounds fun to me. I of course got hurt on that one but I didn’t care. I did it anyways and didn’t think about it. Even though I am like this, I am still very responsible. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I am like the purest teen there can be now days without being nerdy (sorry if that offends anyone). Haha anyways, seems like I got a little carried away here. Well if anyone reads all the way through this, be sure to answer the question if this is a normal thing or not normal and if I am a bad person for thinking the way like I do…? And if my morals are straight… I’ve been told I’m like the devil’s son the way I think about how death is not a bad thing and how reckless I am and how I don’t think about things. Anyways thank you so much for answering, if you answer. Haha that is all. xoxo

My son said he put it on his finger and in his mouth
My son is only 15, I am terrified of him using such a drug. I only asked the question because of what he told me and I want to be able to trust he is telling me the truth. He is dating an older female and it makes me leery of really all his friends

my son is in jail for meth and he cooks it slams it and when not using he is a great person , happy helpful and respectful,,and is very intellegent in math and chemistry.what is wrong with him why does he do this??

If a person gets so drunk that they have seizures and they’re alcoholics and when they get to hospital doctor tells their mom to take them to alcoholic programs to sober up and the alcoholic says they don’t work, the mother says the son won’t attend anyways. Then the son keeps drinking. Can the mother somehow legally make a judge force her son to go into an alcoholic annonymous program, like if he misses a classes he’ll go to jail. Can he be forced without having committed a crime to put him in the position of being in front of a judge?

and is often verbally abusive. We have a 4 month old son together. Things just keep getting worse and worse. He has been beaten up quite badly on 2 of his most recent binges. It’s hard for me to see him so hurt like this. He tells me he will quit drinking and then lies about going out to party with his friends. After one of his binges I will kick him out and he goes to stay with friends and then he will start calling and saying he misses me and wants to come home. It’s hard for me to say no, but every time he comes back nothing ever changes. He refuses to go to rehab or to couples counselling with me. How do I move on without making it seem like I’m abandoning him? I want him to know that I will be here for him but can no longer live this way??

Someone close to me has made the families life a misery for twenty odd years now. She has been drinking on and off for all of these years and made my mums life and her sons life hell. Every time something happens in her life (bad) she hits the bottle. And loses so much weight with no eating food, just vodka that it cant be doing her any good inside. How can it not have affected her liver?? She drinks and drinks for about 5 months and then goes off it for a while and then starts again. How has it not killed her yet?? I cant understand that at all.

I am in the worse of situations. I am from Europe and came here to achieve the American dream. Now, I am married to a man with mental issues and to top it off nine months pregnant. My family in Europe is poor and cannot help me. My life was so promising. I started out as a successful fashion model and traveled all over the world making a lot of money. Then I went back to school and was doing really good attending college full time and working. Then I met my husband and all my problems started. I admit I married him way to quick and his extreme neediness sucked me into a spiral I couldn’t get out of. He lied to me from the get go, and when I tried to leave him, he completely lost it and threatened to kill himself. I obviously was worried that he really might hurt himself and stayed. I stayed through all his weekly intoxicated ventures and irresponsible behaviors, I stayed through all his insane shopping sprees I even stayed when I found out that he had much less money than he really had. I stayed and stayed and always tried to see the best in him and hope that perhaps one day a miracle might bring some stability in this insanity. My savings soon dwindled and so did my sense of control. Three years after meeting him, I quit college in my third year, my money was gone and I discovered I was pregnant. During this whole pregnancy his mental health has gotten even worse. He started abusing everything that came in his hands, from taking Ambien and driving to excessive dosages of Lorazepam and alcohol. During my pregnancy he started yelling at me in public, tried to jump out a window and I had to hold him back smashed his head through a car’s windshield and was put into a mental institution after driving erratically in March 2009 and causing two car accidents in one day. I had hope that he could get the help he needed, but couple of months later, he stopped going to his AA meetings, I caught him with Ambien, never once was there for me or attempted to be of any support. He couldn’t even clean the littler box during my pregnancy. It is always about him and nobody else. He was on bipolar medication for the past months and nothing seemed to help. Then, three days ago, he mixed his bipolar medication with alcohol again and completely went off the deep end again. He is now in a mental institution again. He comes from a rich family (his father is a doctor), but himself has no money, just debt. He was a medical resident and got kicked off his first year due to who knows what. He now most likely will lose his new position as well. I am going to have the baby exactly one month from now and I am at the end of my robe. I have no money, I am two semesters short of having finished my education, I am thousands of miles away from my home country and I have a complete psycho husband. I am still in love with him and when I married him, I promised to stick with him through good and bad, but when does the bad become inexcusable? Hi parents are about as unsupportive as it gets. They haven’t even called me for two days to ask how their son or I am doing. A part of me feels really bad for my husband and I do want to help him, but another part just about had it.