How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My sons ex-girlfriend, who is 16, and lives down the street from us has a lot of family problems. We have taken her in tons of times, and she dated my 18 year old son for a while and they broke up and i think they’ve been having lots of problems lately. Whatever, that’s their business..

Well last night i guess things were okay with everyone at home…but the dad gave her a glass of coco cola with coconut flavored rum in it and let her drink as much as she wanted and she got really tipsy and freaked out on my son and called him like screaming at him and cussing him out and stuff. I only witnessed this because we were watching a movie together when he answered the phone. He asked her if she was drunk and she said that her dad gave her some stuff and that she felt really weird. I think in the least to say, he told her to stop talking to him because she was saying very hateful things and deleted her off facebook. Well she just wrote on my facebook, “Hey Mrs. Robyn can you have Cole call me when you see this?” So she’s starting drama on my facebook now…

My question is…what parent just gives their kid alcohol and lets them get totally tipsy and out of control and doesn’t at least take their phone away so they don’t make total fools out of themselves? I let my son have a few sips of wine, he’s had a little bit of a wine cooler but no where enough to get him buzzed or tipsy. But i never have just let my son drink however much he wanted and get out of control.

What will be/are your rules on drinking? Will you allow your kids to drink at home?
What would you do if you were in my situation last night?
Note: I even had a glass of wine last night that made me VERY sleepy and batty. My husband was quick to shut down the computer and told me to go to bed. But i am 39 years old and i can control myself better than a 16 year old can. What parent does that…? It’s really just beyond me…

http://www.thosewhohost.org/TexasUnderageDrinkingLaws.htm

Read the drinking laws.
cath- i was too. but apparently it was just a little bit of coke and it was a FULL like beer glass…

My girlfriend’s parents are having a big Thanksgiving dinner this year. They, themselves, have 4 adult children and no grandchildren so they intend to buy a lot of alcohol like they have in recent years and turn Thanksgiving into a big grown-up party. As a result, they’ve asked me to not bring my son.

My son has no mother in his life. I don’t have a relationship with my parents because they’re alcoholics and were abusive to my sister and I growing up. My sister is going to Thanksgiving with her husband’s parents.

I told my girlfriend that she could go on and have a great time with her family, but I thought I’d just take my son for Chinese and we’d have the holiday alone. She’s mad, now, because I don’t want to try and make other arrangements. I told her there was no alternative and she said I should tell her parents that no I wouldn’t find another person to take my son.

I think that if I raise too big of a fuss over it it will only lead to my son being treated negatively all day anyway, so it’s best to just let them do their thing and us do ours. If she really feels we need to be there, it’s HER place to talk to her parents.

Who’s right?

For starters, my best friend, Jovi, well she’s having a problem with her parents. I am 16, she is 14. We all live in America. It’s really her parents, they fight, a lot. Basically every week actually, and then they are good again. And it really hurts her when they fight. Stuff they usually fight about is so dumb. It’s usually stuff about their son (who is an alcoholic), her accusing him of cheating on her (which he really never would do), and other stuff. I think it might be becuase when they were much younger (before Jovi was alive), her dad mistreated her mom when they lived in Venezuela (it’s unfortuntly common there). A lot of the problems occur when they drink, which they do a lot. Well tonight they got into a fight and Jovi’s mom told her that she was going to move back to Venezuela this December. Jovi is now saying she actually wants her parents to get a divorce (which they sometimes want), and it’s making me upset. It’s hard for me to watch her sit there and not try anything…
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…to help fix it. It almost makes me feel angry at her, like she doesn’t care about them. Now something you should know about Jovi, she’s really a selfish person, a good person, but unkowingly selfish. I think that’s part of why she wants them to split, because it hurts her when they fight and she’d feel better if that ended with divorce. Another thing about her, she doesn’t think about cause and effects, like what will happen in the future. And I am really really close to her whole family (they really are great people when they get along), but I just don’t see how any of her family could possibly benefit from a divorce. Her mom (unemployed), completely relys on her husband for money and she speaks no English. Jovi attends a really, really expensive private/catholic highschool (she has some financial aid for making great grades). Honestly, I think Jovanna has a really great future ahead of her. She will probably be the first of her family to go to college and the…
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…And just have a great life. I don’t know how this could affect it though. I don’t know what to do and I told her to talk to both her parents for real and tell them that what they are doing is hurting her. She told me she is going to do that. Well, basically that’s it. AND for anyone telling me to stay out of it, it’s not gunna happen becuase my best friend is asking me what she should do and I want to give her the best advice I can give her. I really don’t, and I know she really doesn’t want to see them break up. AND most of you say it’s usually for the better. This for sure wouldn’t be, as Jovi then might move to Venezuela where she can’t get anywhere near as good an education as she could here, and I really want her to have a great life. So please, help me out.

Thanks

I have recently divorced. My children 22 (daughter, married) and son 18 (lives with his sister) are so disrespectful to me. Especially my daughter. She calls me for advice and when I give it to her she lashes out at me making me feel inadequate. You see, I am financially challenged to say the least and have been since my divorce. My credit was wrecked by my prev. alcoholic husband and I am struggling to keep my head above water and to re-establish my credit. The reason I am telling you this is because my 18 year old is trying to get a car and they are both making me feel guilty that I can not help. My daughter did this also with her wedding. I feel so badly about this but can do nothing. My father tries to help them but on his terms. They want him to help them on their terms. They are disrespectful to him as well. All they care about is material things. I must not have been a very good mom. What should I do to gain their respect???

I have recently divorced. My children 22 (daughter, married) and son 18 (lives with his sister) are so disrespectful to me. Especially my daughter. She calls me for advice and when I give it to her she lashes out at me making me feel inadequate. You see, I am financially challenged to say the least and have been since my divorce. My credit was wrecked by my prev. alcoholic husband and I am struggling to keep my head above water and to re-establish my credit. The reason I am telling you this is because my 18 year old is trying to get a car and they are both making me feel guilty that I can not help. My daughter did this also with her wedding. I feel so badly about this but can do nothing. My father tries to help them but on his terms. They want him to help them on their terms. They are disrespectful to him as well. All they care about is material things. I must not have been a very good mom. What should I do to gain their respect???

How can I protect the kids? They are not being harmed right now and are away from their father who beats the mother. The mother is an alcoholic and has hit her daughter, but not the son yet. They are not in imminent danger so CPS won’t really do anything concrete and could scare my sister away from at least a safe environment with my parents. She won’t enter rehab or stop drinking either.

How can I protect the kids? They are not being harmed right now and are away from their father who beats the mother. The mother is an alcoholic and has hit her daughter, but not the son yet. They are not in imminent danger so CPS won’t really do anything concrete and could scare my sister away from at least a safe environment with my parents. She won’t enter rehab or stop drinking either.

Lets say your child is a Teenager and they asks you if they could go to a party at their friend’s house but there is Alcohol and Liquor at the party and you as the parent say no. But then your child says I don’t care what you say im going to the party anyway. And they sneaked out.
Not only that but you caught them sneaking back inside the house.

What would you do if your teenage son or teenage daughter disobey you and sneak out anyway?

Tell me what would you REALLY DO?

My son is 19, will be 20 in July. He attends community college full time he is in the USAF national gaurd and has a 8-10 hr week par time job. Sounds like the perfect kid huh? Well he has found alcohol like most 19 yr olds, put on 40 pounds in the last 4 months, stays out until 2-3 ever morning, he goes to class I think but not sure I am not home when he goes to school. There have been times I didn’t work and he was still at home instead of at school. He has attended a yr at community college 2 A’s in art classes a lot of C’s 3 D’s and 2 F’s, he says he wants to tranfer to 4 yr school, but the D’s and F’s wont transfer. The USAF is paying for tuition and gving him 250 a week to go to school. He agreed with us to save 300 a month towards tranfering (apartment, and utilities) and we said we would pay the rest for him to get him set up when he left. Up to today he has saved 0.00 he plays in a “band” he is quiting his job this summer to go on “tour” which he will have to pay to go,
He will not get money from USAF during summer. He doesn’t help at home the only rules we did give him were to be home by 1am and take out trash, doesn’t do either one. We have 2 younger children 15 and 11 and he treats them like crap. He doesn’t talk to them, but when the few times he is at home he kicks them off of family computer and tells them to get out. He doesn’t attend family functions Easter b-days, and on last xmas trip he stayed in hotel room for 2 days. We don’t know what to do with him. He seems to be pissing away his USAF money and the opportunity at an education to hang with his “band”. He has 5 tattoos and the word RAGE on his calf and he wears shorts all the time. I don’t want to kick him out of the house he needs our medical coverage becasue he has a heart issue that he wont be able to pay for by himself. But he doesn’t take his meds or eat right and rufuses to stop drinking. Is there anything we can do?

I already asked this question…but I need more opinions…from kids & parents.

-My son has gone to school high 3 times this week

-He brought alcohol onto school gronds and given it to his friends

-He has also skipped school after lunch everyday this week.

The principal just told me about all of this today and he told me my son would be suspended for 7 days.

I’m going to be working everyday in the next 7 days except Sunday.

How can I make sure he stays out of drugs, alcohol, etc while I’m gone.

KIDS & PARENTS: If you were in this situation (kids) how would you be punnished? and (parents) how would you punnish your child?

Today I’ve seen two headlines that make me sick.

Preteen Sisters Accused in Kidnapping

In Enid, oklahoma, 2 young girls 10 and 12 took a 1 yr old baby out of a neighbors house while the mother slept. They left a randsom note saying :

“If you want to see your son again then you won’t call police and report him missing and you will leave $200,000 on the sofa tonight and we will return your son back safe,” the note read, according to police.

The note was signed, “the kidnappers.”

The kids were arrested and taken to a community intervention center for children.

Next headline was: Girl, 11, Charged With DUI After Chase

ORANGE BEACH, Ala. – Police who chased a car for miles along a highway at speeds up to 100 mph said the driver was drunk, hardly a rarity in this resort town. But there was more: When they looked inside the flipped vehicle with guns drawn, they found an 11-year-old girl at the wheel.
Cops-her blood alcohol lvl was above 2.0(the legal limit for minors)
Now I am 100% sure the kidnapping case was because of television. They had to have seen this on a movie or tv show. You don’t usually get to see kidnappings anywhere else. The drunk driving one was just really bad parenting. Is the only way to make parents actually do their job to make them 100% responsible for everything done by the kid?? I think parents directly cause these kinds of things by expecting society to raise their kids and society is doing just that. The freedoms of our country are the downfalls of our children, without good parenting.

My husband, myself and my son are furious. My parents never admitted they were alcoholics. I had discussion with my sister & she is supporting him? Why? We love them now that they aren’t drinking. I never thought I would have to beg my sister to support them.

My husband, myself and my son are furious. My parents never admitted they were alcoholics. I had discussion with my sister & she is supporting him? Why? We love them now that they aren’t drinking. I never thought I would have to beg my sister to support them.

I normally have my child on the weekends but this time my ex asked to take him with her and her husband to his parents 6 hours away for labor day weekend bash but at the last minute she gets sick and stays home by herself. My sons stepdad is a nice guy(what little I know about him) but he is not his dad and also is not very good at disciplining my child and making him “mind”. From what I have heard about these “shindigs” is there are lots of people and lots of alcohol and I am worried that my son(who is 9) will sneak away unsupervised and get to doing something he hadn’t oughta be doing.

I was not informed that she did not go until it was too late, otherwise I think my son should have stayed with me.

Is this wrong of my ex to allow this to happen? Should I jump her a$$ about this? Is this something I could use against her in court?

My husband, myself and my son are furious. My parents never admitted they were alcoholics. I had discussion with my sister & she is supporting him? Why? We love them now that they aren’t drinking. I never thought I would have to beg my sister to support them.

I am re posting this and adding some information.
I normally have my child on the weekends but this time my ex asked to take him with her and her husband to his parents 6 hours away for labor day weekend bash but at the last minute she gets sick and stays home by herself. My sons step dad is a nice guy(what little I know about him) but he is not his dad and also is not very good at disciplining my child and making him “mind”(from what I am told he doesn’t do that with his own child who isn’t going on this trip). From what I have heard about these “shindigs” is there are lots of people and lots of alcohol and I am worried that my son(who is 9) will sneak away unsupervised and get to doing something he hadn’t oughta be doing since his mom has let him “taste” alcohol and mixed drinks at her house.

I was not informed that she did not go until it was too late, otherwise I think my son should have stayed with me.

Is this wrong of my ex to allow this to happen? Should I jump her *** about this? Is this something I could use against her in court?

Some info on my ex: she cheated on me for years and allowed my son to be involved with her boyfriends and their families during their outings and even(when asked about it) told the judge during our divorce she didnt see anything wrong with it. I know for a fact that she is cheating again now with my sons teacher because I saw her kiss him outside in public and my son told me beforehand she was doing this.
So I doubt she was sick and if she was it was very coincidental.

I am re posting this and adding some information.
I normally have my child on the weekends but this time my ex asked to take him with her and her husband to his parents 6 hours away for labor day weekend bash but at the last minute she gets sick and stays home by herself. My sons step dad is a nice guy(what little I know about him) but he is not his dad and also is not very good at disciplining my child and making him “mind”(from what I am told he doesn’t do that with his own child who isn’t going on this trip). From what I have heard about these “shindigs” is there are lots of people and lots of alcohol and I am worried that my son(who is 9) will sneak away unsupervised and get to doing something he hadn’t oughta be doing since his mom has let him “taste” alcohol and mixed drinks at her house.

I was not informed that she did not go until it was too late, otherwise I think my son should have stayed with me.

Is this wrong of my ex to allow this to happen? Should I jump her *** about this? Is this something I could use against her in court?

Some info on my ex: she cheated on me for years and allowed my son to be involved with her boyfriends and their families during their outings and even(when asked about it) told the judge during our divorce she didnt see anything wrong with it. I know for a fact that she is cheating again now with my sons teacher because I saw her kiss him outside in public and my son told me beforehand she was doing this.
So I doubt she was sick and if she was it was very coincidental.

My parents don’t know that my wife and I were drunk when we had sex and when she got pregnant with our son. It was the night of my nineteenth birthday, and my friend had alcohol there, and we got a little out of hand, got drunk, and had sex. I’m beginning to think that it’s time that they know this. However, I don’t know what they’ll say or think about me and my wife, because they were always preaching to me about how I shouldn’t drink when I’m not twenty-one. Do you have any suggestions for telling my parents about this? Thanks

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

I live in the Chicago area and in the news, a couple was found guilty in supplying alcohol at a party in their home for their teenager. They have not been sentenced yet and their own son testified against them. Well, 2 or 3 teens were killed in a car accident after the party. I am just wondering when are we as parents going to start being parents and stop trying to be friends to our children. I was also wondering about your opinion of the situation.

One last thing, one of the teens involved in the accident where teens died of underaged drinking was involved in another accident last week where someone was driving drunk…When will she learn?