Our son started having emotional and behavioral problems about 12 years ago. My husband abandoned me last year for another woman whose children are raised. They are now married and living in another state. Our son continues to have problems. Looking back I have felt like a single Mom for all 12 years. As our son’s problems increased, my husband pulled farther away. His traveling increased. When he would return home from one of his frequent trips,I would take the blame for handling all the sitiuations with our son the wrong way, even though he didn’t want to get involved at the time it was happening. My ex is a “functioning alcoholic” so perhaps that’s why. I believe he loves our son, but couldn’t handle the problems. He continues to call our son every night and has since he left. He has also seen him. But he still doesn’t want to hear about the problems. He just tells me I’m a poor mother when I approach the subject. Has anybody else experienced something similar?
You can’t help an alcoholic if they won’t help themselves. Our son has been in counseling for 12 years. He suffers from several disorders. The divorce and alcoholism haven’t helped but weren’t the “causes”. Mental disorders run in my family. Our son has a predisposition for being an alcoholic due to problems in my ex’s family and has had trouble there too.
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I haven’t disconnected from my child and never will. He still lives with me. I was referring to my ex disconnecting from him. All my time is spent thinking of my son, not my ex. I was just wondering how anybody else handles this.
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My son is a 16-year-old sophomore in high school. He has had anxiety and depression for four years and has been on 20mg Prozac for the four years. His case is very severe; He has had lately, and in the past, thoughts of suicide and has not been going to school, and I’m very worried that I will get in trouble from the police and take my son away. I know that they take away parents and children that don’t go to school because of drugs, alcohol, ect., but will they be harsh on me and my son knowing that he has had these problems for a good amount of time? Will they take me or my son away because he has been missing school? He has been involved in Kaiser Psychiatry Department for 4 years and has a therapist he very much likes, if this matters.
My 16 year old son left school campus for lunch. During that time he took a shot of Jack Daniels with a friend and then returned to school. While talking with a teacher, she smelled the alcohol. The school priciple was notified who in turn called the police to breathalyse my son. To sum it up, my son now is facing an expulsion. What are his rights?
My cousin and I used to be extremely close, best friends since pretty much since we were born…but things have changed since he started high school. He’s become increasingly rebellious and dark, sort of a loner holing himself up in his room to play (Insert random violent video game name here) and we never seem to talk anymore, he never seems to want to hang out and the way he acts, I don’t exactly want his company either…
Some of his recent choices have been, I’ll be blunt, pretty stupid…he used to be a total clown and fun to hang with, and now he’s incredibly irritable and has emotionally flat-lined. He’s also in a position of being the son of an alcoholic parent whose behavior has only gotten worse as time has passed on, and the two have frequently butted heads as of late. I just don’t know how to interact with him anymore, and I’ve only been honest with him about how he’s changed like two times… we used to talk and share everything with each other and now it’s like he won’t have anything to do with me…I’m a little hurt and very worried about what goes on behind closed doors, and truly want to be there for him, but how can you help someone who won’t acknowledge you?
(Sorry I typed so much)
I have an 8 year old son and have recently found out that his father is using cocaine and meth and also found out that he made counterfeit money. I found all this out from his wife. I am not out for vengeance or anything like that. We were never married and I believe every child should have both parents in their lives, but I am worried about the safety and well being of my child. My son loves his daddy and I don’t want to take that away from him. We have no legal custody arrangements. What can I do? Just refuse to let him take my son for his weekends? Can I have him drug tested? Demand that he go to rehab? I don’t really have the financial resources to go to court. Me and my husband live pay check to pay check and I haven’t received child support in years.
My mother is on her 3rd marriage and this guy she ran off and married shortly after I have my son, didn’t tell anyone just went. He is very bad into marijuana and I know he takes some of her pain meds that she has for different illnesses. He has recently failed a drug test at work for pot and his son is constantly stealing from them and pawning things for cocaine. Since getting with this guy, my mother has alienated her family (I am 30, brother is 27 and we have another bro that is 16 and sis is 13) My oldest brother has 2 daughters and I have a son, all babies. My mom has given up custody of the younger 2 to live with their father b/c they don’t have room for them. They are even building a new house and it is only 2 bdr. This past weekend was my grandmothers 75th bday, it was a surprise party and they were all supposed to stay with us at our beach house. My mother and her husband kept going to their rv, we know so he could smoke and not sure what else, rumors are he is also known as a cokehead. My mom has always seemed to have a decent head on her shoulders, always wanted to party like she was 18 though. They took off, did not tell anyone bye, my brother was in town from DE and left yesterday, she had no decency to tell him bye or was glad to see him or anything. I know the husband has been verbally abusive but I wonder if she is doing drugs along w/him the way she has distanced from everything and alienated everyone but “his” friends. I just don’t know, i am so upset but I can’t handle constantly worrying if i am going to get a phone call that she is dead. From those with family members that have been addicts, please give me some signs.
every day theirs parents that insult everybody, including their own, that their’re abandon from their family, except a son or their daughter. that with all the insult they take , till they take care of them. without support of another member. and without doing a intervension.
Hello..the mother of my son fell into trouble with meth and dcfs took my son and her other son out of her custody. I didn’t get custody because she argued in court that I haven’t had any parenting classes, and so my son is in foster care until I complete the classes. She has been found unfit. My question is what kind of rights does she have compared to me. The reason I ask is because she is giving the foster parent a rough time by demanding that things get ran her way at the foster home. The foster mother is a very nice older lady and has confessed to me that she is feeling bullied by her and the dcfs agents relay the demands to the foster parent as well. The mother of my son is now trying to get my son put into a different foster home. I think this is ludicris and I am curious if I have the power to stop this, what rights do I have, and does she even have a right to see the kids as an unfit parent?
I have no idea, but in infants who were born addicted to meth, did their teeth come in weird, or not in order? My son has beautiful teeth, but they come in top first, and not from front to back. He’s 15 months, with 2 sets of molors, and just the front bottom 2. I’m wondering if this has anything due to being born addicted. Sorry I asked in this section, however, not many meth addicted moms answer in the toddler section.
My son , age 30, addicted to crack cocaine. He has been willingly in several rehabs but always walks away. We , his parents have had him arrested for stealing our things and he did a year in the county jail. He tried suicide there. When he was released , went to rehab walked away again. He is Bipolar, says he really wants to do right and I believe him. Can’t overcome his addiction. We have gotten his meds to him, tried psychologist, rehab, prayer, Is there anything we haven’t done besides let him self destruct?
I have a son, whose father is legallay allowed to have our son for 2 weeks visitation. I am afraid after a drunken phone call last night that his father, who has a court order against him that says he is not allowed to drink while our child is in his custody, may try to pick up our child from the airport while intoxicated (similar things happened over a decade ago). Now, I have told my son, under no circumstances is he to get into a car if his father smells like alcohol. Will the law enforcement community help my son if he calls from an airport phone? What can he do, being a minor, to keep his father from making him and his little sister get into the car? If my son has the court order in his hand, and calls the police, are they going to help him? Or does he actually have to commit the driving crime (dui/dwi) and endanger our child before they can help? I have to allow this visitation, per court order. My son says he will do this, but I shouldn’t have to ask. So what do I do?
No one seems to argue that a parent that is an addict is an abusive parent just by being in the child’s life…
It is LEGALLY child-abuse in many states if a pregnant woman pops hot for drugs.
It is being debated if it is child abuse for a drunk mother to breast feed her child because the alcohol is being passed to the baby through the milk.
Yet if an extremely mentally ill person decides to have kids, no one blinks an eye… They seem to be ENCOURAGED to breed just to show the world “That they are normal”.
When you are mentally ill, even when medicated, you have ups and downs and irrational behavior that directly impacts the mental development and even the GENETIC DEVELOPMENT of a child.
Studies in to the Epigenome are showing that when a child is raised by a depressed parent, that child’s experience alters the genetic development of the child and can lead to an increased risk of mental illness themselves as well as an increased propensity for physical illness such as obesity, cancer, and diabetes.
Why do we not discourage the mentally ill from having kids?
Why do we not discourage addicts? (which is a genetic illness and mental illness)
Why do we keep screaming, as a culture, that breeding is a RIGHT when the very presence of the parent(s) are, at the very least, passive abuse?
Just because you CAN breed doesn’t mean you SHOULD… So why do we not give people a talking to about the quality of life of the CHILD vs the instinctual imperative of the adult to breed?
Why don’t we take teens that have gotten pregnant (and the impregnator) and make them take a class explaining the legal and ethical obligations that must be fulfilled for this child and how to prevent future mistakes through treating the acting out of their sexuality as the responsibility it is?
They don’t even council women going in for an abortion for more than 10 minutes when they offer discounted contraception… They spend more time going over and making the woman swear that she is there of her own free will and not pressured or threatened.
What is so wrong about getting people to THINK before producing a child?
Why is the quality of life of the child less important than the instinctual fulfillment of the parent?
Please… No childish answers… This is a topic that is dear to my heart because I’ve survived horrible trauma and have a really jacked up adult life because no one sat my white trash mother down and said “It might not be a good idea for you to squeeze out young after looking at what happened to the rest of your family… You are an addict. You are mentally ill. Your nephews have killed themselves… You come from the same stock and your offspring will follow the same path.”
It seems so SELFISH to put the desire of the parent above the quality of life of the child.
Why is this such a horrible position to take in the eyes of society?
wel im not what u call the pefect daughter i mean i smoke weed done crack got ma liped pierced mah eyebrow i get out at night come back home drunk(my mom lets me drink) but i know she knwo all of these things but y does she deny it ?? casue i knwo she know i got my eyebrow pierced(i alwasy take it of when she is around) but she knwo she seen the hole and same for ma lip and she preaty much knwo i aint a virgin and she act like she doesnt know anything why does she do this???she pretends like if i have never kissed a guy before…
My cousin and I used to be extremely close, best friends since pretty much since we were born…but things have changed since he started high school. He’s become increasingly rebellious and dark, sort of a loner holing himself up in his room to play (Insert random violent video game name here) and we never seem to talk anymore, he never seems to want to hang out and the way he acts, I don’t exactly want his company either…
Some of his recent choices have been, I’ll be blunt, pretty stupid…he used to be a total clown and fun to hang with, and now he’s incredibly irritable and has emotionally flat-lined. He’s also in a position of being the son of an alcoholic parent whose behavior has only gotten worse as time has passed on, and the two have frequently butted heads as of late. I just don’t know how to interact with him anymore, and I’ve only been honest with him about how he’s changed like two times… we used to talk and share everything with each other and now it’s like he won’t have anything to do with me…I’m a little hurt and very worried about what goes on behind closed doors, and truly want to be there for him, but how can you help someone who won’t acknowledge you?
(Sorry I typed so much)
My cousin and I used to be extremely close, best friends since pretty much since we were born…but things have changed since he started high school. He’s become increasingly rebellious and dark, sort of a loner holing himself up in his room to play (Insert random violent video game name here) and we never seem to talk anymore, he never seems to want to hang out and the way he acts, I don’t exactly want his company either…
Some of his recent choices have been, I’ll be blunt, pretty stupid…he used to be a total clown and fun to hang with, and now he’s incredibly irritable and has emotionally flat-lined. He’s also in a position of being the son of an alcoholic parent whose behavior has only gotten worse as time has passed on, and the two have frequently butted heads as of late. I just don’t know how to interact with him anymore, and I’ve only been honest with him about how he’s changed like two times… we used to talk and share everything with each other and now it’s like he won’t have anything to do with me…I’m a little hurt and very worried about what goes on behind closed doors, and truly want to be there for him, but how can you help someone who won’t acknowledge you?
(Sorry I typed so much)
I have a 14 year old foster son. His mother was one of my good friends but died of cancer not to long ago. My foster son’s father is a drug addict and has over doesed twice in the last 2 months, once on prescription medications and this last time it was a heart attack from smoking too much crack while also shooting crystal meth and ice.
Suprisingly “Marcus”, my foster son is doing good. Recently, on of his friends called me an “over protective psycho” because I refused to allow Marcus to go to a local park alone with several friends. Instead of letting him go by himself I gave him and his friends a ride tot he park and hung out in the parking lot across the street where I could have a full view of them and read my book. I personally thought it was supervision not craziness.
His friend’s also complained that I don’t allow him to stay home alone. I don’t believe in allowing any child to be at home alone, if he is going to be at home and I am not there I hire a babysitter, his friends think this is stupid.
But I do have to point out, When Marcus cam to live with me he had a D-grade average now he has a 3.5gpa (he’s been with me for 15 months total) He used to have anger issues and hated everyone and everything (including god) now he has been in therapy and communicates his feelings of fear better instead of just being angry alll the time. He has also found religion and faith in something (he became a Buddhist)
All of this being said am I a crazy over protective freak or am I just doing my job as a parent to him?
We are divorce and I am remarried. The childrens father has non-supervised visitation and during one of the visits he gave the children alcohol to try. I am just finding out three months later due to something my son had said to me in regards to my ice tea I made and commenting that it looked like wine. I don’t drink or carry alcohol in my home and it took me for a shock that my 4 year old little girl and 6 year old son knew what wine looked like and tasted like.
Ohio is one of the states that allows underage consumption with the presence of a guardian/parent. I know this is true for the home but am unsure about the public.
Is it allowed for a parent to buy his or her son an alcoholic beverage in PUBLIC? Say at a restaurant or sporting event? As long as that can be proven? Im having trouble finding documentation for that.
The babys father and i have been dating off and on for almost 2 years. He has cheated on me numerous times.. i cant even count on both hands and those are just the ones i know about not to mention the lying, verbal and emotional abuse, and even a few physical encounters that i will admit i started. Since ive been pregnant he has started using cocaine heavly and recently got off probation and has started smoking weed again. He has a house full of people and all but his grandma and his younger siblings are using some sort of drug. His mom lives there and is so into tweak its not even funny. I dont want him to have custody of my child because his house is disgusting there is really trash everywhere and the dog goes to the bathroom in the house not all of it gets cleaned.. there is plenty of violence drug use profanity and abuse of every kind in this home and i dont want my son raised in a mess that way. how can i prove to the courts that he is an unfit father and should not have custody?
Also he has warned me that if i try to take his son from him he will fight dirty and he can guarentee that he will drop clean.. so if he already plans on quitting for an extended period of time so that he will drop clean for the courts how can i catch him unprepared? i have also used cocaine 2-3 times during my pregnancy. i know there is no good excuse for it but i felt that he would like me or want to be around me more if i did. believe me i regret it everyday but im afraid he will use that against me. i want his name on the birth certifcate becuz im only 17 and i will need his help finacially. again please help if you can its very important to me. thanks ASHLEY
Ohio is one of the states that allows underage consumption with the presence of a guardian/parent. I know this is true for the home but am unsure about the public.
Is it allowed for a parent to buy his or her son an alcoholic beverage in PUBLIC? Say at a restaurant or sporting event? As long as that can be proven? Im having trouble finding documentation for that.
