How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

It’s kinda complicated but my sister who is the mother of my nephew no longer has custody of him. She is a drug addict and practically abondened him with our mom, who now has custody of him (and is also a functional drug addict). I take my nephew half the time and care for him as well, but I have no legal right to him. His father is a dead beat who pays child support, but has no involvement whatsoever.

My question is, who has more rights? If I wanted to, could I go for custody at the next hearing since the custody my mother has is temporary? Does the uninvolved father who’s all of a sudden apperared out of no where have more of a chance than me, the aunt who has been involved his entire life and who has primarily cared for him?

His mom is currently working as a prostitute, and Im serious. How do you explain to him that what his parents are doing affects him in a negative way? Also what do you say when you run into either of them. His father currently is incarcerated and I ran into his so called mother~the egg donor~ over the weekend. She pretended to pretend that I was someone else. She had the nerve to say why dont we (meaning my husband and I) allow her to come over to see him. I told her that we feel it is best that right now she stays away because she is all messed up. I told her that he was alright and well taken care of. He has been in counseling for many years, sometimes it seems to be working and at times it doesnt seem to be working. Also we have tried several times to allow her to come and see him, to be fooled yet once again by her claiming she was straight, and find out that she lied. What do we do? I can not afford an attorney to file for permenant custody, we just ahve temp custody.

I know this sounds horrible but this is the thing.. my sister was raised with her dads family… she might be one of the worst people i have ever met, i come from a very drug addicted family and this is not the reason that i think she is so terrible either. She has been using drugs since she was about 9 years old, i know people are going to say she needs to be loved and all that crap, but over the last 15 years we have all tried, she will steal anything from you, and doesnt care what kind of a high she gets as long as she gets high. She has spent 5 years in prison, and the years she was out she spent the majority in a juvenile detention center. She is currently in prison at this moment, for running 5 meth labs in the same house as her grandma and kid live, she was pregnant when she went to jail and had the baby there, and now her 75 year old grandma has the baby. Anyways my 8 year old nephew ate 8 of his adderall pills and was rushed to the emergnecy room. I don’t know what to do
I do a lot of things for him but im only 19 and struggeling to pay the bills… I don’t want him to be just like my sister, because thats a horrible life.. anyone have any suggestions?? and child services will not take the kids a way from the grandma because i called them before.. she is like a 300 pound lady who can barly walk.. and they expect her to care for 2 children…
At first i was mad at his grandma because dont understand why he is able to just get into the pill cupboard and eat them…

Okay, its hard to explain, but i need help, bear with me.

I have a sister, who can’t take care of her kids because of “medical issues” as my family says. [She does have a few medical issues, but her biggest problem is shes addicted to drugs.] So my mom has custody of my nephew, who is 10 years old.

He is literally the biggest spoiled brat ever. He still throws temper tantrums like a two year old if he cant have something he wants [which always makes my mom give in.] he has every expensive game system in the world, i cant even explain how much money that is, and he has such an attitude problem! He always talks back to my mom , [and everyone else in our family, including me] and treats everyone like crap and it drives me crazy! i know he’s a kid, but kids dont need to act this way! He still wets the bed, and heres the worst part, he gets so lazy when he’s playing video games, that he will poop his pants just to avoid going to the bathroom. Recently ive found a pair of soiled underwear hidden in the very top corner of the closet where he tried to hide them.

He’s been caught watching porn and everything.

It kills me to see my mom so mistreated.
Me and my brothers never had a quarter of the stuff that he has, and i understand my mom feels bad for him because of his moms situation, but i dont care anymore. Itsimpossible to feel bad.

Ive tried talking to her about punishing him for his wrongs, she wont. Ive tried telling her to get him counseling, and she yells at ME! no matter what i become the bad guy in the situation, and he can not grow up this way! i dont know what to do. Any suggestions??

My sister,his mom, is hurting but at the same time protecting… he has been at 2 rehabs in Boca Raton and Detox at home, but goes back to using. We are afraid he is going to die. No one can help..Can you?any suggestions????
What is an after care sober living home??
He was willing to go into detox yesterday but made a 100 excuses why he couldn’t go today
Thank you for all your answers so far….if this helps: we live in Penna.

i was only fifteen when my nephew was born. and my sister is drugs addicted. they live in california, while i live in indiana, and i thought my nephew was already adopted by some parents. then my grandma from california told me that we can still fight before my nephew turned 5 years old, and hes 4 now his bday is in dec. so i need to get it started asap

so since im 20 now, and i want to get him, so what is the possiblities? what do i need to do?

and remember we live different state, so do i have to move calif to get him or what? just tell me what should i do from first step, please help!

My nephew is 15 months old and we are having a hearing later this month to terminate my brother and sister in laws rights (she is a drug addict and he is crazy). I have 3 children of my own 11,9 and 7 years old and she is pregnant again. I really want a girl but I go crazy with the 4 children I have now.not to mention the expense of raising 4 children Should I consider this unborn child or am I crazy?

Ok, i just found a type of skin cancer on my nephew. for one, he has jet black hair and dark skin (mexican decent). he just turned 2 this past 3rd of September. i was in the middle of bathing him when i went to wash his hair i felt a little bump. first i thought it was dry skin from craddle cap, then i lifted up his hair and their it was. a pink little lump. oh my goodness. i couldn’t believe what i was seeing. get this right next to it another one seems to be growing. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. what could have caused it. could it be from his mother who is a drug addict or her feeding him nothing but milk. poor baby he’s been through so much, now this. i plan on taking him to emergency in the morning. HIS MOTHER WON’T GIVE MY BROTHER MY NEPHEW’S INFO SO THAT WE CAN GET HIM MEDICAL INSURANCE, GEE HE JUST TURNED TWO AND HE NEEDS HIS IMMUNIZATION SHOTS, WHICH I DON’T BELIEVE SHE’S KEPT UPTO DATE ON THAT.
WHAT CAN I DO??
HOW CAN I GET FULL CUSTODY OF MY NEPHEW? AND GET HIM THE CARE HE NEEDS?

ruining all our lives..he’s addited to oxycontin and other drugs. He lies constantly, bilks relatives from money, stole Christmas presents Christmas eve, was discovered sleeping in my mother’s attic where he had gotten through two sticks and a chain on the patio door, broken in apartments, refuses rehab, broken his mother’s heart, loses jobs, apartments, cars, a wife, and much more. He steals repeatedly from relatives and breaks in our sheds and my mom’s house often. Made many death threats..people are scared to turn him in as he may retaliate or he may just be using controlling behavior. he gets away with murder.

Do they know they are ruining their lives and many others? Do they care? Is only thre drug important? What makes them quit? Need more insight..
how can you make them want rehab…I feel prison might get him off drugs..his mom pays and gets him in programs and he doesn’t show up, lies and says he went and then they find out he didn’t etc.

That’s the problem…we all decided not to give him money etc but his grandma (and sometimes) brother get the most begging and sometimes break down and help him…they are hounded and the “strong ones” generally are not approaced..his mom also breaks down sometimes and helps him behind her husband’s back who has thrreatened divorce if she helps him but she feels sorry for him when he is freezing and homeless…he also threathens his grandma a lot and she has helped him most (except maybe his mom)…he has ruined her life and she is dying and he is so stressing her out and hastening her death that is no more than 6 months away according to the doctor. We do need to be united but then he breaks in if we don’t help..somehow he cons his way in..a master manipulator and liar and stupid grandma
keeps buying his bull crp stories.
Abhishek Joshi –you offered some real insight into things. It’s true..I think this is a kid (well he’s 28 now but a kid to me still) who is full of anger. His dad was a jerk–never there…abandoned him..bought him drugs they took together when a teen, broke promises he’s visit all the time. This was a kid noone liked banging doors and cussing everyone out when only 2 years old..how we disliked him and talked about how rotten he was as he was..stole five sets of keys from me and apparently threw them in the gully and slashed my tires as a kid cause I wouldn’t let my son (who he liked) stay all night a few times so I’d bre forced to stay..breaking in houses as a teen and just a troublemaker. Spoiled like crazy by a mom who felt sorry for him that noone liked him with no parental insight and very permissive, buying him things like chinese stars, bb guns, minicars, bow and arrows (which he proudly and loudly announced much to my emabarrassment at the museam I took him to when
looking at stuffed birds that he loved shooting them between the eyes ith slingshots and such at about 5 years old..bought him things like garbage pail kids sticker and all these things at the inappropriate ages of 2-7 and saying to me don’t buy hiom toys for Christmas he doesn’t like them…sorry he got toys from me..what am I gonna buy him…weapons? She bought this bratty. ungrateful kid who cussed out teachers and threw chairs at them $300 shoes and jackets. he was very dependent on his mom and adept at xontrolling her….until she remarried at his age 18 where they essentially threw him aside for their own lives and the two males hated each other…Steve (the kid) blaming Mick (the new husband) for taking away his mom who he had frustrated but wrapped around his finger..Mick was also controlling with Sue (the mom) fake names in the middle torn between husband and son..the husband mostly won and it was then I felt sorry for the kid throw away in my opinion the son who had been
all becoming nothing although she still helps him sometimes behind husband’s back)…I think as you said the kid is full of anger..the family is disfunctional and people have been judging him from birth he feels unloved and is gonna make everyone pay even if it destroys him in the process. He was obsessed with guns and is an angry kid..angry at the world and his family and life..he sees himself homeless, suffering, losing jobs and possessions and wife and family and homes and blames everyone and the drug is his relief from the anger and pain and makes him happy and forget. It is a sad situation but whast you said helped me have more compassion for him.

has destroyed everyone’s life stealing multiple items and money from my now dying mom, disabled brother, other brother, and apparently has broken into multiple houses to support his habit and it again homeless and jobless and was hanging around my mom’s house..broke into her house before Christmas last year and was fopund hiding and living in the attic and stole multiple expensive Christmas presents.

He has stolen from me a credit card and changed $1000 before discover, has my social security number or did as he stole my driver’s licence and in my lifetime 5 complete set of keys. He somehow gets in the houses and cars even if locks are changed. I have a shed at my mom’s and he broke dozens of locks anfd it appears he has stolen stuff but I am afraid to look due to him living in it and using the bathoom everywhere in his drugged up state..broke windows and dead squirrels may be in there and I am afraid of the virus they may carry so don’t even know what he took from there..(cont)
it was the gills and a mess and now appears
half full but he claims he threw everything in the back which may be..I can’t see as it is all stacked to the roof due to his moving everything around. Naturally I do not want him in there. He used to be obsessed with guns and made multiple threats to kill everyone in the family. Everyone is terrified of him (he is addicted to oxycontin & possible other drugs. ..his mother has disowned him due to threats by her husband (who isn’t his dad) to divorce her if she helps him in any way (she is wealthy) as the nephew has lid so many times, cheated her of money, she spent thousands trying to get him help..he lies and doesn’t go to treatment..he did just go and claimsd he is off and (as usual) notone will help him..gee I wonder why after he stole so much and lied so much and threatened to kill everyone violently). I doubt if he is off drugs like he claims as he lies all the time.

My mom is dying and has about a month to live of her
prognosis and can’t take his continual begging and stressing and all. Anyway, I went to fireworks with my brother and a picnic and apparently this nephew was in my car..I knew right away as brights were on, radio way up, back light on..my other brother said druggie was in the car as the alarm lights were flashing and a big stack of my papers from the car was on the bench where this kid (in his late 20′s) was sitting and going through..he claimed h was not in the car..I found a purse in the car missing and it was found in my mom’s back yard where this guy slept on the porch..so I know he took it (luckily I took my wallet and purse with me and the purse was empty)..I don’t see these papers my nephew had that my brother said he put in the car just for a couple..those have my address on it..he did not know where I lived but now does. He is skilled at stealing people’s identities as this is what he and an accomplish did when they broke in the housing..the jerk..I hate him. I am terrified
now feeling no safety..I just left my mom as I was preparing some food for tomorrow and it hit me on the way home, he has my address.

I am in my late 50′s and never had a computer until this year. I am disabled and have no way to replace the computer, and printer, vcrs, big stereo birthyday present and two TVs..it took my whole life to get this stuff. I now only have $100 for food and gas and clothers and misc after the bills so obviosly can’t replace stuff hre steals if he comes here and braks in..he knows my cr so can see if I am here or not..what can I do to protect my belongings? He got into my mom’s at christams with two sticks and a lock in the sliding door.

My chain lock was breoken by my apartment so it does not appear too study. I also have a slide lock and live on the first floor so he could break a window..* am worried he may have taken some preapproved credit card forms and might break in to get those activated and ruin my credit. I hate where I live and am locked in
in here for life almost in I don’t get out and I must have good credit to be approved for the subsidizedFFousing I have breen on the list for 16 months for and may get in in the next 2 years..if he ruins my credit then what..I cabn’t stand it here as so small. Please advise. I do not know if I have enough proof to get a restraining order which I was unable to get on shed as it is my mom’s property and she won’t file and now is too sick. I have no money for rehab..he lies and does not go..she is too ill to go get a restraining order and maybe afraid..brother who is guardian said not going cause he wasn’t the victim this time..he almost seems to enjoy freaking me out more..how can I protect my property

threatens her life, breaks in her house….she is afraid of threats and that if he loses his trucker’s license, he will always hang around..at least this ways they get a two or three month break from this stress till he loses his job. He keeps hanging around. They (my brother) called police where they found out he was in attic and broke in house without their knowledge and stole Christmas presents and other items. How can we get her to quit enabling him as she falls for his lies and sob stories..He on crushed and snorted oxycontin and maybe other drugs. he ignored attempts at rehab..after calling police and saying pressing charges..she gave him a blanket Chrsitmas eve and let him sleep on back patio.
well, we tried..we had a meeting once and all agreed not to give him money, items or food and help him reach bottom quicker and seek help as when his mom pays for rehab and he agrees to go, he doesn’t or he lies and says he went but he renigs on it. I think the death threats by gun and instability and his impulsiveness and blaming everyone else fo his problems stiffle stciking with calling police..plus he is hard to catch..the fear he is controlling us with is a factor and permissivemess and difficulty with saying no to his pleas and not feeling sorry for him mess things up..the ones firm in not helping him or not afraid of him, he leaves alone. what can we do?
that should be grandson not nephew
good suggestion, free to chat, but I don’t think they will call police due to how they are…siometimes but not consistency and that can mnullify the order.
thank you, little peewee for your compassionate answer and offers to help…it is making it hard on my mom..but it is up to the males in the family who are braver and younger to intervene. I am a 57 year old disabled woman. I do give suggestions but they are often ignored. It is very frustrating. He makes me so angry adding to my mom’s intense suffering as she is in real pain.

My sister is a single mother and her 15 year old son is addicted to drugs he doesn’t want to go to school and everytime he goes to school is to get in trouble (he is a trouble kid). I need help on where can she take him to help him out. Is there any kind of program u can reccomend me?