A little background info…
When our son was 3 months old, we split up. My son ended up living with me for 3 months. I then got a job opportunity in a town 3 hours away. My son stayed with his father for about a month until I got on my feet and had a place ready for him. We agreed verbally to share custody half and half while I was living in that town. Well, a week later I received court papers and he was filing for sole custody. I had no resources to hire a lawyer, so I went to court without backup. My ex was granted sole custody and we share legal custody. I moved back home after that and he only allowed me two visiting days a week. I have no record with the law, drug addictions, or alcohol addictions. There is no legitimate reason for this. It’s been a year and a half now and I took him to mediation trying to get him to allow me more time with my son. He’s not budging. I don’t know what to do, what to say in court, anything. I have little money for a lawyer and have never been through this before so I don’t know the process……HELP. PLEASE. My son needs me and his father doesn’t see how much this is affecting our son.
Thank you much Thomas, that was what I was looking for 
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I have a seven year old son (stepson) who I love very much and have always looked at him as my own. To me, he’s my son and will always be. My husband and I have a four year old daugter together and honestly if you asked me to choose one I never could. I’ve been in his life since the baby days and my husband and I have full custody. He’s my little man and he grew up calling me “mommy”. We have been open about the fact that I am not his biological mom since early on and he seems to understand. He hardly asks about his biological mother, but he is aware that she is not in a good situation. The biological mom never wanted him. My husband and her were never married, just dating. She made it clear that she had no interest in being involved with the baby. She’s really gotten herself in a huge mess, drugs and alcohol and so many children that she has no rights to! Occasionally we hear from her (usually about her troubles), I’ve tried to get her to care for her children and offer a little love… Never worked. I do not understand how she cannot love her own son, he is an amzing, loving child who’s the sweetest.
Now, the biological mom is sick. Very ill and is on her last days. She has never seen my son (her son), when he was born she refuses to hold him. Part of me wants my son to go see her because it’s important to see and accept your lines of family. I want him to at least know who his biological mother is. I’ve never talked bad about her, I’ve always been honest. We have tried to encourage him to see her here and there. The biological mom claims she wants to see him as well, but I don’t know think my son does at all. He’s only seven and I don’t want him to ever think in the future I took away his mother’s spot and never gave him the opportunity to know her. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to let him see her or not. Will it scare him? Confuse him? Will it give him second thoughts about me as his mother figure? I could really use some feedbacks, thanks.
My son and I have written this together for advice…How pathetic I am 42 years old and seeking help “online” but I guess I feel a little desperate. My son, my husband and I all had a fight tonight, or should I say I completely blew up (in an immature way using the “F” word and nearly every other one as well) at my son and husband and then proceeded to leave the house leaving them both behind. My son has apologized but frankly often does and we wind up fighting again just 5 minutes later. I should add, I often apologize too. I am seriously am frustrated and self admittedly, not handling myself very well anymore. By my sons perception, I “freaked out because he has not handed in a homework assignment” and I over reacted by telling/screaming at him he makes Me angry every single Fing day of the week which lately is just a fact. I got angry with my husband because frankly, every single day as my son and I argue about EVERYTHING, he just sits there watching TV or ignoring the entire event, NEVER supporting me. To paint the picture, my son is an absolutely awesome kid and has great values but the truth is he is lazy and a procrastinantor and it is driving me crazy. He does not do drugs or alcohol and is very wholesome. Aside from that he talks back to me EVERYDAY and everytime I insist that he steps up to the plate. He is 18 years old and a senior and for the past 6-8 years he has missed homework assignments, made excuses, played video games, etc… Every single day I rode him to do his work and he would decieve me and pretend it was done. His grades were crappy enough that he will be going to a community college, he does not have grades to get into a four year school. Grades vary from a F-B average 2.0 GPA. I know academics are not everything but these are BAD habits not conducive to having a successful life. He sees my constant critism as “ragging” everyday and being “mean”. At 18 years old, never having a job and being lazy and talking back non stop, I feel like I am starting to crack. My husband, not his father, but in the picture since he was four offers ZERO support. That is a seperate issue I am completely disturbed about and his biological father does NOTHING and lives 2000 miles away…visits once a year for 5 days and leaves a hero. Might I add never a dime in child support.
This morning I got up at 600 am (up before my husband) ….got ready, went to work until 500pm as a nurse, picked my son up from the “gym”-which I paid for, brought him home, fed the dogs, changed, went for a walk and then grocery shopping for groceries(at 10 pm) since my son claims there is nothing to eat if he doesn;t have skim milk (can’t be 2%), low sugar bread, cold cuts, shredded wheat, honey, soups, snacks etc… I will also mention he does not have a drivers liscence yet as he has not shown the level of maturity necessary for me to trust he will make safe decisions behind the wheel. His room is a PIG STY, and he thinks I am just being a Bitch if I comment on any of these things. Frankly, it is getting old….I feel like I have a really good “12″ year old. I also feel like a failure because I feel resposnible for his being so ill prepared for the real world and lastly I am completely PISSED OFF that I have a husband who hasn’t stepped up to plate to help parent in 14 years and a deadbeat for an ex husband too. So maybe I am an angry bitter woman? Will someone give me a reality check? I don;t want to be mean to my son and husbnad but I feel like I am going crazy some days and it is not my hormones. It is my REAL feelings!! please give me feedback….
Thoughts from SON: Ok basically like she said my mom is the only real authority in life. As of right now I have C’s B’s and A’s last year I did fail chem and math so I know where she is coming from. Often Times I do talk back but often times my mom freaks out Curses at me which I never do to her and becomes so unresonible I cant even talk to her. Sometimes I think she gets mad at my step dad and takes it out on me or vice versa. I know she is stressed but I honestly think she has a problem. And maybe I do 2. I would go for support and would like outside views. Yes I didnt do my math homework. That just started it. She takes things and blows them to an extreme. Sometimes she is awesome, lovely and encouraging but when she snaps which is daily as do I 1. She will say make her angry everyday and stand the way. Which admit I do talk back alot but I instantly apoligize and am ALWAYS the first one 2 admit im wrong and try to make things better. But really how bad am i. I have a dirty room and get average grades. That isnt horrible. I dont do drugs and I am an eagle scout (with my moms support). Arent I just the average kid? Also she makes me clean my room every 2 days and it only takes about 10-20 mins so how bad can it be. The things she yells at me for are things like are things i do over and over like YOU DIDNT GET A TOWEL FOR YOUR SHOWER? THERES C
Please I need your advice. I have a son, he is 30 yrs old. He is not in drugs or alcohol but he can’t hold a job. He is single and leaves out. no friends.
When he loss a job he become angry and desesperate and a lot of times I help him with food and paying the rent. Later he gets another job. etc
Now 20 days ago he losted a very good job after 4 months, but for the first time I know that he lost this job because he was playing video games. His life is video games, tv and computer.
At this moment he doesn’t have money for the rent and of course he is very furios at me. when I tell him that is his responsability he said that, before he go out on the street he will kill himself.
He has been an expert to manipulate me, He always blame me for everything.
I don’t have money to give it to him and I know that I have to sptop enable him.
How can I stop thinking that I am guilty and what about if something happened. I feel like he is very depressed, but the only thing that he wants for me is money.
Help me what should I do? He is my only child
My husband and I currently have custody of his son. He is 15. His mother is in jail. I was wondering, what should happen should his father and I separate? His father is an alcoholic and his son is only with us because he has no other choice right now. If the father moved out, and I got the house, could his son choose to stay with me? I live in Indiana, and here I can fight for visitation, but can I get custody of a step child if he is old enough to make the decision?
it was well deserved! My husband has an unhealthy relationship with his mother b/c she has a substance abuse problem (for the past 25 years ) and wont help herself…And I try to be the middle man to keep her included on our lives as much as possible B/c she is grandma regardless of the sub abuse to our son . Anyway, the hubby and I have a rocky marriage and I thought separation for a little while would do good along with counseling. My MIL was furious with me that I was thinking about doing this b/c for some reason she turns it into me keeping our son away from their side of the family and that I’m ruining my 2 yr. olds life. CRAZY !!!! She wrote some crazy emails to my Father inlaw who was out of town about how my son isn’t safe with me or my side of the family b/c i wanted a separation in my marriage and how she wanted to buy her son a car just in case he needed to kidnap the baby take him out of the country if i tried to divorce her son and she wanted to rush out here to Chicago to take the baby b/c he was better off with her .Well, after i read these outlandish emails, i called her up and confronted her and basically couldn’t hold back, i went off on her and said she was a drunk and how dare she say these things like that behind my back when she is the one who ruined her own sons life by being an alcoholic and she hasn’ t even seen her grandson sober. Who is she to judge! I’m an amazing, sober, well educated Mother So, anyone stepping on my toes questioning my motherhood is gonna hear it from me. Especially from a MIL who thinks she has rights to have influence over my son. She was sending me threats like “i will use the fullest extent of the law” to see my grandson. Which is funny b/c not once did i ever threaten my husband or her to not see him if we separate.
I know that she is crazy and i shouldn’t have let her crazy babble get to me……But it was so heated that she couldn’t deal with that I read those emails. Regardless she was defending everything she wrote and even threatened to hire her son a really good lawyer. She was just fueling her own little fire in thinking that I would keep my son from their family , I never once said anything suggesting that !!! CRAZY LADY. Anyway I really dislike her and dont want to deal with her crap so, i feel okay in what I did/said. What do you do when you burn bridges with your MIL But, really i had no choice, she can’t go around just saying whatever the hell she wants!
Mental illness and alcohol are factors; also last contact included some violence. Children are not allowed by father to discuss it openly, except to demonize mother. Counseling currently not an option. Looking for an age appropriate book, perhaps, that deals with loss – specifically loss by choice. A parent resource would be good also. I am aunt of children; concerned about possible feelings of misplaced guilt, anger, loneliness, love.
she is on the run from the law and may go to jail and is drug Addict on meth wat do i need to get my twin sons from there grandfather im the bilogical father and want my sons
She has a 20-year old son and she gave him alcohol!
It is illegal to a child under 21 alcohol! Should I report her and have her thrown in prison where she belongs?
Please help me! This is about protecting a child from the dangers of alcohol!
Hello, everyone
I have a 25 yeasr old son who was addict to crystal meth. He went to the rehab center last year in may 2010, and will be coming home next month in march. Since he left to rehab, I haven’t spoke with his girlfriend. The last time I’ve spoken to her was november 2010. She use to call me everytime but I haven’t heard a thing from her.
I left a message on facebook in janaury 26 telling her to give me a call, she called me. I ask have my son gotten in contact with her she said he write her the other day! All of a suuden, her phone started to mess up. I told her to call me in ten minutes, she agreed. Well, she never cakled me back I had to call her back! When I called she never answered my call. Its been almost a month from the message i’ve sent to her and still’ no call. What do you think is going on? I’ve been calling but no answer? I’m concered because they suppost to be geting marroed when he gets out! DETAILS PLEASE!
Hello, everyone
I have a 25 yeasr old son who was addict to crystal meth. He went to the rehab center last year in may 2010, and will be coming home next month in march. Since he left to rehab, I haven’t spoke with his girlfriend. The last time I’ve spoken to her was november 2010. She use to call me everytime but I haven’t heard a thing from her.
I left a message on facebook in janaury 26 telling her to give me a call, she called me. I ask have my son gotten in contact with her she said he write her the other day! All of a suuden, her phone started to mess up. I told her to call me in ten minutes, she agreed. Well, she never cakled me back I had to call her back! When I called she never answered my call. Its been almost a month from the message i’ve sent to her and still’ no call. What do you think is going on? I’ve been calling but no answer? I’m concered because they suppost to be geting marroed when he gets out! DETAILS PLEASE!
Hello, everyone
I have a 25 yeasr old son who was addict to crystal meth. He went to the rehab center last year in may 2010, and will be coming home next month in march. Since he left to rehab, I haven’t spoke with his girlfriend. The last time I’ve spoken to her was november 2010. She use to call me everytime but I haven’t heard a thing from her.
I left a message on facebook in janaury 26 telling her to give me a call, she called me. I ask have my son gotten in contact with her she said he write her the other day! All of a suuden, her phone started to mess up. I told her to call me in ten minutes, she agreed. Well, she never cakled me back I had to call her back! When I called she never answered my call. Its been almost a month from the message i’ve sent to her and still’ no call. What do you think is going on? I’ve been calling but no answer? I’m concered because they suppost to be geting marroed when he gets out! DETAILS PLEASE!
ok ill try to keep it short. mom ,23 year old son, and 16 year old son all lived together. older brother moved out when he got his girlfriend pregnant. mom can no longer afford rent because of i think meth addiction and because older son who was splitting rent moved out. she is completely capable of affording the full rent with her income she just spends her money unwisely and cant seem to manage it. she hasnt been able to make rent the past 3 times. she got a car title loan to pay it one month which bought her a little time but just seemed to dig her hole deeper. she is over her head in debt faces eviction, losing her car, and possibly her job with her “tweaked” out mentality. i am the older brother and im pretty much all shes got family wise, besides my 16 year old brother. it hurts to see my brother suffer like this. i have the money to help her, but i just cant afford to bail her out this time with my kid on the way. what do i do?
i cant take them in if they get evicted
Her son and I have a 5 year old son together..
The mother in law never comes to see the child or spend time with him… she doesnt really acknowledge him because he’s mixed, but my husband and I dont worry about this one iota, anyway an uncle of mines who was in jail for 25 years for trafficking and distributing cocaine.. has been out of jail for about 4 years.. but he enjoys coming to get my son and they go to parks and get ice cream my son really adores him.. well the mother in law spotted them on an outting and she called me ranting and raving about calling child care on me for letting a felon be alone with my son.. I told her my uncle was 21 when he went to jail and yes he shouldnt have been dealing drugs, but in my eyes this doesnt make him a bad person.. my husband told her to leave our family alone… she tried to come get our son, but he wouldnt leave with her he cried his eyes out and this made it worse.. so tell me what can I do about her?
thanks alot!
I live in logan county Ohio, My ex mother in law is trying to get visitation to my son. however she is an alcoholic and is addicted to pain medication how can I stop her from enforceing grandparents rights in Ohio???
My oldest son, Camron, died of a drug overdose almost six years ago. I found his body and at the time I was addicted to cocaine. I am a bisexual man, as a result of being raped as a child. I am 24 years into my second marriage. My ex-wife, the mother of our dead son, divorced me when Camron was 5 because I was addicted to cocaine and was having sex with men. She knew I was bisexual and chose to marry me because she was in love with me. But during and after the divoece she vowed take revenge by telling the boys that I was a fucked up queer, liar and drug addict, and she told Camron that he was just like me and that she didn’t like him but loved his brother more. And Camron was like me…he loved me… As part of her revenge, she refused to help pay any of Camrons funeral costs. Today she still hates me, my family, and my freinds, who helped by giving me $14,000.00 to bury him. I am thinking about suing her to pay back half the money to the people who gave it…
I grew up an only child my step-father sexually molested me as a child i finally took him to court last year he got found guilty by a jury on all five counts, and yet my mother still stands by him only because he said he never did anything. The judge made a comment that i was excellent witness also. And do you think i should let her have a relationship with my two year old son? This man is an alcoholic and he has been violent with her on one occassion. He is going to jail for two years. The court case was in May of last year.
My father died when i was 17,25 yrs ago,my mother remarried,the man was archie bunker/alcoholic.she retired at 62,to care for him,diabetes,pace maker,etc,8yrs later he died in 2000 in there bathroom,2003 her mother 93 moved in with her on oxygen,hospice coming twice a week,she died in her house too 2004,then her son
moved home cancer,2004 he died sept.2007 almost 1 yr ago,i moved home to help her in 2005,been here since trying to help ,she won’t admit she has elzheimers,won’t get help depressed an bitter,what can i do she panics when i walk out the door,her father had elzheimers,she refuses to talk to me about it,HELP!
My father died when i was 17,25 yrs ago,my mother remarried,the man was archie bunker/alcoholic.she retired at 62,to care for him,diabetes,pace maker,etc,8yrs later he died in 2000 in there bathroom,2003 her mother 93 moved in with her on oxygen,hospice coming twice a week,she died in her house too 2004,then her son
moved home cancer,2004 he died sept.2007 almost 1 yr ago,i moved home to help her in 2005,been here since trying to help ,she won’t admit she has elzheimers,won’t get help depressed an bitter,what can i do she panics when i walk out the door,her father had elzheimers,she refuses to talk to me about it,HELP!
My father died when i was 17,25 yrs ago,my mother remarried,the man was archie bunker/alcoholic.she retired at 62,to care for him,diabetes,pace maker,etc,8yrs later he died in 2000 in there bathroom,2003 her mother 93 moved in with her on oxygen,hospice coming twice a week,she died in her house too 2004,then her son
moved home cancer,2004 he died sept.2007 almost 1 yr ago,i moved home to help her in 2005,been here since trying to help ,she won’t admit she has elzheimers,won’t get help depressed an bitter,what can i do she panics when i walk out the door,her father had elzheimers,she refuses to talk to me about it,HELP!
