He doesn’t miss work at all and continues with his daily activities. He drinks alot when he plays golf. He is drinking more and more. There are so many nights when I come home from work and he is drunk. I absolutely hate it!!! I also hate being with him in public when he is drunk. I am at my wits end. Should I leave him. I have a 19 year old daughter in college and a 16 year old son that is a junior in high school. I’ve been to alanon and read every book on alcholism. I have prayed and prayed I just cannot come to terms with it. I have a good life except for this that eats at my soul. Help!!
Browsing Posts tagged married
married 12 yrs. had a difficult yrs.but loved my son more than anybodyelse. he wants to be with his dad.my financial is not really secure. had few debts. But my hubby is alcoholic,illegal smoker. and he is lost affection, attention,appreciation towards me.
because we found out i was prego so his parents kinda pressured “us” to get married so the baby wouldnt be born out of wedlock. anyways so we got married about a month after finding out about the baby. at this point he was still cought in partying and doing his own thing. i knew he liked to drink alot and smoke weed. and use cocaine .which i really hate. so i told him he needed to quit doing drugs or i’d leave so he said ok. but little did i know that he was hiding it everywhere in our apt so i wouldnt find it. which i found like 3 times and each time left for a short period of time . i’m so fed up with it i’m going crazy. but i dont want 2 leave beacuse i want him to be a father 2 my son and i dont want my son 2 be part of a broken family. also he swears up and down that ever since my son has been born he NO longer uses cocaine. but i cant trust him so i accuse him. and then we end up fighting and its just getting old. i dont know what to do please help with ur opinons
Her husband is truly a hard worker who is drug free and is a doting father. The problem and question is; my daughter steals and sells everything from the house that isn’t nailed down. This past weekend while talking with her son (our eight year old Grandson) he complained that mom sold his Shrek video (and others) that we had given him for his birthday and christmas. My question is: Since my daughter has been to jail twice (30 days or longer) over the past two years, with her husband recently out of prison (over a year free), and they both live with my daughters Mother, what can I possibly say or do to help this situation? Before you ask, the Mother is an enabler (she will stand by her kids no matter what). I know my daughter blames her husband for going to jail the first time, but this situation is so bad that the last time I visited I didn’t even go in the house, my interest is just providing some old fashion good guy for the kids. Any advice?
traditional expenses in his words are rehearsal dinner, all alcohol at reception, and honeymoon. Now remember they have been married 1 year already!
My son is a senoir in high school. He has been dating this nightmare of a girl. Her dad is an alcoholic, who sweeps floors in a strip club. This girl was obviously way more experienced than my son, who only had one girlfriend before her. She has controled his every move since day one.
We are in a much higher income level than they are. The second my son turned 18, this family convinced him he should ‘do the right thing’ and marry her, even though he is still in high school and doesn’t have a job.
All we knew was he and some friends had a party at her house, rather than going to the prom. He did come home that night. He has been coming home every night, like normal only a bit later.
Two months after this ‘party’, I found wedding invitations in his room. He got beat red, and couldn’t look at me, but told me they had a pretend wedding.
After asking around, I found out differently.
What are they up to? Can they somehow get money out of me and my husband from this?
So, been marriend for almost 8 years. At about 3 years we planned and had a pregnancy that we lost, our daughter lived for 4 hours and died. After that I told my wife that I did not love her anymore and that I was in love with another, which was a lie to push her away because I wanted to hate everything around me, I was 25 she was 23. She pushed it aside and stayed with me, the 3 years we after we lost our daughter were hell on both of us, she wanted us to go through all of the loss together and i was in my own world of hate and discontent, mad at the world for our loss and wanting somebody to blame. I never blamed her, abused her physically. Emotionally though I was not there for her. Before the 3 years were up, we decided to try again, even thought we might lose that one as well. It ended beautifully, we had our son, who is now 3. I eventually, at around the 3 year point, came out of my darkness of hate and discontent and started seeing the world as a good place. I told her that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the hell i had put her through by being emotionally unavailable to her. I started doing my best to be the man that she married, being happy go lucky and just loving life. Times we good for about a year were I though she was actually forgiving me, however, shortly after I transfered from shore duty to sea duty and I went underway, while I was out to sea(I am Navy) she cheated on me. She told me she did via email while I was on deployment. This devistated me because I thought things were getting better. Neither one of us had ever been unfaithful to one another before and she was never the type to cheat, or at least I thought. By that time, our son was 1 1/2. I traded my career to come home from my deployment to basically try to fix or figure out what was wrong and see if we could salvage it. For the next 6 months things were bad, we fought, i miss trusted her and I second guessed her every move, i didnt want to get caught blind to cheating again. I never abused her, not even emotionally for this, she told me that part of the reason she had done it was to see if she still wanted to be with me after everything that had happened. She said that she did and she would spend the rest of her life making it up to me. I have slowly come out of my second guessing her ever move and have accepted that in order to move on i have to take a leap of faith again to trust her. Our son is three now and once again I thought that things were getting better, then I realized that somewhere in all this mess my wife has become somewhat of an alcoholic, seemed like every day she would be drinking. In a way I didn’t want to see it cause I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. Finally I accepted it and I confronted her about it. She would go through good period and then she would go right back to it. She has like 3 generation of alcoholic before her. I understand alcoholism very well, I have six generation before me and I have been able to stay away from it even though I do drink on occasion. She finally adimited to me a few days ago that she was still mad at me for telling her that i did not love her anymore, even though she has, for the most part acted like everything is fine. We got into fight, minor things, money, our son, decision that were made about something about the house and it always seems to come to her saying maybe we have to much between us. I believe in my vowels in that i am very old fashioned for my age, not to say that i don’t believe in divorce, but i dont believe in quiting just because it gets hard. I told her that I wish she would have told me she was angry soon, instead I believe she has been holding it all this time, letting it eat at her and turn into hate and resentment. When she drinks she is completely irrational and that make the fights worse. We dont fight until the kid goes to bed but i am worried he is going to start seeing and hearing it. I wish more than anything to make this work and figure it out. When i get really frustrated I think about divorce but cant bring myself to actually voice it cause it mean i am giving up. I am up at 4:38 in the morning talking about this cause we fought tonight becaues it seems that she has the inability to understand that as a man and at this point in our relationship i need to know that she needs me, sexually, usually it is me that engages this. I get tired of the fact that she never engages me in this. There is alot of detail that goes into the build up of the fight but lets just say is was a very nice evening, quite romantic per her definition and i still went to bed by myself and she followed and went to sleep with her back turned. I was still awake and asked her what i had done wrong, she said, why cant i just want to be close to you even though. Now I dont expect sex 24/7 and I really dont pressure her, however, I really wanted her tonight, I mean we danced together this ev
As far as the first answer goes, I understand what you are saying and that is not the case, we havent had sex in a month and this is not the first night we have had a good night, this was just a really great night, its not all about sex, its about her letting me know that, besides seeing me as provider, father, friend, shoulder to cry on, supporter. That I can still be her lover!? But I know you are right, women are wired differently and men shall always try to figure it out and never be able to quite grasp it.
First of all his ex has never had a stable home for them and has been in the homeless shelter 3 times in the past 2 years and all the places she has been were never safe and she refuses to get a job. The mom and boyfriend share a bed with him and it’s seems bad now because sometimes when I lye down he tries to hump me, and we don’t ever do anything like that in front of him and he also only 3. Now my bf has filed for custody. During mediation she said she wanted to go to rehab for herself for doing meth but refused to go to n/a meetings. the rehab is 2 hours away and his father thinks it would be best for her to get it together without bringing him along and to do it closer to home because the mediator said it’s best for a three year old to see both parents equally. When he asked her to do it near home she said no because her boyfriend got kicked out of that one and needed to be in rehab or was going to go to jail again. So when he got kicked out she rushed and used what little money she had to get a marriage license so they could move with him in a family rehab center and that the judge won’t try to tare them apart if they are married. It’s seems like to us that once more she is putting her boyfriends needs over what’s best for her son because in the past when they finally had a stable home he committed a crime and went on the run and she took her son along. Will the judge see it’s not best for the child or will he agree with her and to not split a family up?
And his father and I have a son together and have a stable home and stable income and we want to see his son have a better life that we know we can provide.
we live in California and cannot afford a lawyer. Before he filed for custody he called the sheriff to do a welfare check and talked to sharp to help him and told them about her parenting but they just told him that he could not do anything because he didn’t have custody and during mediation they said the only way he could have his son stay with him until custody was decided is if she got kicked out of her home or moved. Would calling cps be too harsh on the kid and mom because she is very unpredictable and unstable when upset and she now knows where we live and is the type to harass.
Also, before they started go to court she got denied temp custody and visitation and he got denied partial temp but yet she has him and won’t let him have for more than 2 days because he didn’t give him back once because she was raped in their apartment and he didn’t feel it was safe to bring him there and she won’t let that go.
live in butte county
Also the only reason she wants to go to this rehab is so that she can live with her boyfriend she doesn’t need to but he does or he’ll go back to jail. Do you think the judge will see her trying to do whats best for her and her boyfriend and not her son or but now their married and we are not and that the judge will favor them?
i was with my ex-fiance for seven years. we met in california. he was a marine, and i was working as a cocktail waitress. he got kicked out of the corps for smoking pot and i let him move in with me from the baracks. we moved to colorado and stayed with my parents while we got on our feet. we fought a lot, but we loved each other. he was mean to me. he would say things like he didn’t need me and i was stupid and i needed to get my mind right. he pulled my hair. he put my head through a wall. i just stayed because i was sooo in love with him. then he got a good job and didn’t want to ever take me out or buy me anything. i started getting sick. turns out i have multiple sclerosis. he gets angry because i couldn’t work at the time. his job then moved him across the state. he was so mean to me the one time i went to see him that i told myself i would never go see him again. he started mellowing out and being nicer, but it was still really rough. he then informs me that he has met this girl and he is breaking up with me for her. she’s a waitres and makes good money. she’s from indonesia and is different and sexy and makes him laugh. he and i would sit on the sofa next to each other and i would crack jokes and try to make him laugh, and he would just sit there, stoic. i thought there was something wrong with me. so it turns out this great and sexy girl is married with a son she has abandoned. they have move in together and she’s still married to another guy. she had him break up with me and now she’s not handling her business. she lies all the time. i want to get over this. i want to move on. i feel better as it’s been almost a year, but i still think about him and what him and that girl did to me EVERY SINGLE DAY. i asked my doc if stress can make my ms flare and he said yes. i know he made me sick. but i let him. i want the karma police to get him, but he’s like the greasiest guy ever and just slips right past them. how can he and that girl get off scott free after their behavior? it’s not fair! i’m sick and broke and lonely, and he is not making loads of money.
I have a 6mo. old son and I’m getting married this year the only problem is the man Im marrying is not my sons father. They have been together since the day my son was born. My fiancee cares so much about my son but sometimes he just seems to stressed out to deal with him. I love him but I want to do whats best for my baby… I don’t have the option of being with my sons father he is an alcoholic, drug using p.o.s. should i get married this soon or should i wait longer to see how things will be in a year?
My husband of 4 years, we have a 1 year old daughter, is an alcoholic. he knows he is, he freely admits it, but he seems to have no shame in it! He has been in and out of trouble with the law since he was 11, he is now 33. He will drink until he passes out, or black out, or sometimes go into rages and start up ending stuff, or punching holes in walls…etc. He has never attacked me, or the children (also have an 8 year old step son), but he is scary when he drinks.
He has sworn to me time and time again that he understands that the alcohol isn’t worth it, that his family is more important and that he is going to quit drinking, and that works for a while…and then he convinces himself that he can handle it this time, he can control home much he drinks….and that works for a bit too, but then the binge drinking happens again, and i am flipping him over in the drive way so if it rains he doesn’t drown.
He hardly helps out around the house, he picks the kids up from school/daycare, and he cooks dinner, but that is more due to the fact that i don’t get home until 5:30pm and I am expected to do homework with the 8 year old for about an hour or two, so if dinner isn’t close to ready when I get home our time table is all screwed up, and he gets home around 4:30, so he would cook…he does not help with the baby, doesn’t know how to put her asleep, doesn’t know how much to feed her, barely ever changes her (maybe 20 diapers in 16 months), has never woken up to get her…etc. He also only wants to watch HIS shows, my shows are considered to be stupid or crap, and his temper is so bad he can’t even help the kids with their homework or playing much because he gets SO mad, and when he gets mad then he just throws what he has in his hand or picks up what ever is near by.
He was arrested on his 5th DUI this weekend, he is in jail, they revoked his probation, he will be there for anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, we just don’t know yet. He has never hit me or the kids, I want to make that clear, but where should I go from here? He keeps asking me, over the phone, if I am going to divorce him and I just don’t know…95% of the time he is fine, sometimes he is even great, but I may be grading on a curve here, because those other 5% he is just a d*ickhead, and his nickname is Mr. Grumpy, given by his mom! His parents are WONDERFUL, I don’t know what made him so damaged….what would you do? Divorce him, try to work on it..I don’t want to give him false hope that we will get back together….but I don’t feel ready to close that door yet…HELP! I need advice from people who have lived through this.
I would like to mention that he DOES work a full time job, and gets paid descent money.
Also, everything is in MY name, the house, the utilities, everything is in my name and making ends meet just on my salary will be tough, but NOT impossible, I will not loose the house if I divorce him or anything, I am financially independent
I do feel as though he is a drain on our family, and the term walking on egg shells hit home…I have used that term myself…can’t upset daddy…do you wan’t daddy to loose it…hurry get out of daddy’s chair….*sigh* walking on egg shells describes that very well.
I have a 6mo. old son and I’m getting married this year the only problem is the man Im marrying is not my sons father. They have been together since the day my son was born. My fiancee cares so much about my son but sometimes he just seems to stressed out to deal with him. I love him but I want to do whats best for my baby… I don’t have the option of being with my sons father he is an alcoholic, drug using p.o.s. should i get married this soon or should i wait longer to see how things will be in a year?
We have tried to help out one of the family members, but he always has an exscuse or reason why he cant help, mainly about money. He thinks if he dont eat here are bath hear he dosnt have to give anything other than 60 dollers. I am tierd of the lies from him hes mom and my husband. Hes girlfriend got kicked out due to the fact that she lays around all day eats drinks watches tv, uses our cp, but she cant clean and cant remember the food she ate up when she buys grocireis. She takes all her money and food stamps to her mothers house. Oh, shes pregnant. She cant do anything. I was a high risk pregnancy to, but I went to college and raised a handicapped son with a drug addict husband. So babay got to do better then that. Now we are stuck with the nephew and a bag of lies about them getting a place to stay. I am at my wits end. I left drugs and lies and excuses alone when I divorced my husband 17 yrs ago. Cant handel any more. Someone please help me.
Is it appropriate to not serve punch, or are there other non-alcoholic drinks that could be used in it’s place?
I just thought I would get a little bit more insight on the subject…I’m not planning on trying to break up a marriage or anything like that…I’m just confused. Let me give you a little more info before ya’ll start bashing me…
I’m married but seperated pending a divorce and child custody hearing. My wife has been smoking crack and snorting coke while I’m working my a$$ off and I told her to get out. I have our 4 month old son and I’m going to try to terminate her parental rights. I found out she has a long history of alcohol/drug abuse and mental illness. I can’t even begin to tell you how evil she is. She once told me that she wished I would kill myself and said another time that she would kill our son and then herself…so basically SHE’s OUT THE DOOR! FOREVER! I did love her at some point because of our son and enough to marry her…now i’m struggling through this divorce. My best friend that I have known all my life and grew up with found out that we could be friends again because my wife is out of the picture and never let me contact my friends (which I honored cause Im an idiot ok I got it) Anyway, since I moved away from her when I was 9 we have always remained close and still visited each other and I have always been in love with her and even got ballsy enough to tell her when I was probably about 13-14 (Im 23 now). She moved off farther away and met her now husband…got married and had a baby…now they moved back closer to home and she has a lot more contact with me almost on a daily basis. I met her husband and he seems like a great guy. I’m so proud of her and I am glad that she has a happy family but these feelings that I have had ALL MY LIFE, even when we were so far apart, won’t go away EVER and I don’t feel like they ever will…I’m just stuck and don’t know what to do…Just looking for some advice…
I just want to point out again that I would never have ANY intentions of breaking up a happy marriage I swear to God. I know it’s not right by the church, law, etc. but that doesn’t help the feelings that I have. I would never interfere and I am very grateful to her husband for letting us remain friends, I would never dishonor another man like that…I just trying to find some coping skills to deal with it because thats all I can do is deal with it and live with it forever. But since I can not ask her the “why” question it will always be pondering in my mind…not looking to harm her marriage in any way whatsoever…
I have been “married” for 16 years, I never loved this man, I hardly had sex with him after signing the “marriage license”, I was pregnant when we signed it.
After leaving him and comming back trying to make the situation worked for several ocasions, the only affected has been my teenager son.
Now, that I had spent all my savings trying to save, house, cars, bills, and even him from jail for having 3 dui’s and suspended Drivers license, he is treating us worst and worst and worst. I have no means to get divorce, since I am unemployed ( he is too)
We hate each other and I notice that he does not love my son, he never never never never talk to him, just mumbres Hi and bye.
He is his son, but neighbors and classmates think that my son has a step-father because the way he treats him: he ignores his son completely, unless he wants some of what my son is eating, my husband even dares to ask for it).
please help me
I am desperate, he stole my life because of my weakeness, my compassion towards him, my stupidity, my fears,
please let me know if there is a posibility
thank you
I have been married to him for eight years, together 13 total. We lived apart because he got addicted to drugs and now that he has been sober for over six months I let him move in with me and our 7 year old daughter and my 19 year old son. Everything was going okay except that he kept telling me that my son was more important and treated him like a king and my husband like crap. NO one seems to understand that my son has had alot of eye surgeries and we almost lost him to meningitis last year in 2008. My son is still taking medications due to his eye issues this is why I worry about his so much, most of my attention is on my son and daughter. I recently found texts on my husbands phone asking him what room #? He told me was going out of town to do some work over night…come to find out he met up with his whore. I am so hurt and of course I kicked him out and now he is seeing that married woman. I think he is really falling for her and done with me because he isn’t chasing me like he usually does when we would break up. I keep texting and calling him but I think I realized that I should just leave him alone. I miss him so much and cry throughout the day when I’m alone. I never left him while we were apart when he was sprung out on drugs, he would be so broke and I would take him food because he wasn’t eating and I would give him money for gas and cigarettes. I have lost almost 15 pounds in the last three weeks and can’t imaging life without him. He loves his daughter but I told him I will not let him see her anymore while he continues to see his whore. I know I shouldn’t take it out on our daughter but It seems like he has the best of both worlds, his daughter and his lover and I am left alone and devestated. A part of me wants to win him back but another part doesn’t have the energy it will take to fight for him. I know I deserve better but It’s too hard to live without him. He is so funny and great in bed and the father of my daughter who needs her daddy. Please give me some advice, I will be honest and say that I had two one nighters with two exes while my husband was hooked on drugs. He was so hooked on drugs and then would call me to have sex but I told him that if I did that I was rewarding him for his habit. I felt like I was sleeping with a drug addict If I gave into him. I love him so much and now that he’s sober I want to make it work but he’s told me that I’m pushing him to hard if I keep chasing him down and he will move back to his home state if I didn’t back off. I don’t know what to think or do anymore….I can’t talk to family because they will judge me this is why I’m seeking advice from strangers. I DO LOVE HIM and miss him so much….even started smoking cigarettes and each night alone is so hard because I just keep thinking of him with her….I don’t feel like dating anyone and It wouldn’t be hard to find a guy but I will only be putting up a front, I am in love with my husband too much to do that. Thanks for reading.
Is it appropriate to not serve punch, or are there other non-alcoholic drinks that could be used in it’s place?
all she do is smoke crack all day,but my son loves her,and says she will harm herself if he would leave.
what should I tell him?
