How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

We have been married for close to 2 years. We have a 15 months old daughter who is my lovely cutie. Combined annual income: $70,000. Before marriage, I had dated 3 women and her 11 men. We are from different cultures: I am African and she’s American. I grew up in a stable christian home; She grew up in a dysfunctional family (dad had 2 extramarital affairs and has kids from them and mum too). My flaws; shower once every 2 days, kinda of messy but I clean up after myself, easily irritated but I have never physically or emotionally abused her, I have a high sex drive
My thinking: Marriage business is between hubby and wife (I keep family out; I rarely call my family but we love each other dearly). 2. Her mum is always in our business. When we have arguments, she vowed to always to stand by her kids. (Eldest son: Alcoholic, keeps moving in and out of house, wife “beater”, all the money he makes he sends it to her “fiancee”; )
Her thinking: If we have arguments she can tell her mom about them. 2. She pays $650/month (due to messed up credit) for her car note. (Camry 2007). I drive a 1999 Malibu which we got at $1000. 3. She wants to pay off $300 every week to a baby sitter yet her aunt charges 100/week (they don’t get along): My mother was willing to baby sit again for free (she baby sat her when she was 2 months until she left when she was 8 months) my mum is a retired professional pediatric nurse. 4. She needs to have a treat every week at a restaurant and have a tour to her hairdresser; $120/week 5. Before marriage she had debts totaling to about $25,000 (which I was willing to help take care of when we get financially stable. 6. She believes that her dad is a “devil’ since he doesn’t agree with her way of thinking. (I get along with my dad in-law; he minds his own business unless you seek for advice from him. he admits that he screwed up with the extramarital affairs but he can never change what happened. He has always asked me not to ever put our daughter thru. that; having another woman in my life)

When we I don’t agree with her she says I am mean minded and sometimes when I lose it, she calls ex-bf (who had proposed to her and later changed his mind) for “advice”. Ex-bf always put pressure on her to look nice and he contributed to her big debt.

P.S: Recently we separated and I was wondering whether divorce is an option (Kinda of not what my family virtues are)

So, been marriend for almost 8 years. At about 3 years we planned and had a pregnancy that we lost, our daughter lived for 4 hours and died. After that I told my wife that I did not love her anymore and that I was in love with another, which was a lie to push her away because I wanted to hate everything around me, I was 25 she was 23. She pushed it aside and stayed with me, the 3 years we after we lost our daughter were hell on both of us, she wanted us to go through all of the loss together and i was in my own world of hate and discontent, mad at the world for our loss and wanting somebody to blame. I never blamed her, abused her physically. Emotionally though I was not there for her. Before the 3 years were up, we decided to try again, even thought we might lose that one as well. It ended beautifully, we had our son, who is now 3. I eventually, at around the 3 year point, came out of my darkness of hate and discontent and started seeing the world as a good place. I told her that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the hell i had put her through by being emotionally unavailable to her. I started doing my best to be the man that she married, being happy go lucky and just loving life. Times we good for about a year were I though she was actually forgiving me, however, shortly after I transfered from shore duty to sea duty and I went underway, while I was out to sea(I am Navy) she cheated on me. She told me she did via email while I was on deployment. This devistated me because I thought things were getting better. Neither one of us had ever been unfaithful to one another before and she was never the type to cheat, or at least I thought. By that time, our son was 1 1/2. I traded my career to come home from my deployment to basically try to fix or figure out what was wrong and see if we could salvage it. For the next 6 months things were bad, we fought, i miss trusted her and I second guessed her every move, i didnt want to get caught blind to cheating again. I never abused her, not even emotionally for this, she told me that part of the reason she had done it was to see if she still wanted to be with me after everything that had happened. She said that she did and she would spend the rest of her life making it up to me. I have slowly come out of my second guessing her ever move and have accepted that in order to move on i have to take a leap of faith again to trust her. Our son is three now and once again I thought that things were getting better, then I realized that somewhere in all this mess my wife has become somewhat of an alcoholic, seemed like every day she would be drinking. In a way I didn’t want to see it cause I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. Finally I accepted it and I confronted her about it. She would go through good period and then she would go right back to it. She has like 3 generation of alcoholic before her. I understand alcoholism very well, I have six generation before me and I have been able to stay away from it even though I do drink on occasion. She finally adimited to me a few days ago that she was still mad at me for telling her that i did not love her anymore, even though she has, for the most part acted like everything is fine. We got into fight, minor things, money, our son, decision that were made about something about the house and it always seems to come to her saying maybe we have to much between us. I believe in my vowels in that i am very old fashioned for my age, not to say that i don’t believe in divorce, but i dont believe in quiting just because it gets hard. I told her that I wish she would have told me she was angry soon, instead I believe she has been holding it all this time, letting it eat at her and turn into hate and resentment. When she drinks she is completely irrational and that make the fights worse. We dont fight until the kid goes to bed but i am worried he is going to start seeing and hearing it. I wish more than anything to make this work and figure it out. When i get really frustrated I think about divorce but cant bring myself to actually voice it cause it mean i am giving up. I am up at 4:38 in the morning talking about this cause we fought tonight becaues it seems that she has the inability to understand that as a man and at this point in our relationship i need to know that she needs me, sexually, usually it is me that engages this. I get tired of the fact that she never engages me in this. There is alot of detail that goes into the build up of the fight but lets just say is was a very nice evening, quite romantic per her definition and i still went to bed by myself and she followed and went to sleep with her back turned. I was still awake and asked her what i had done wrong, she said, why cant i just want to be close to you even though. Now I dont expect sex 24/7 and I really dont pressure her, however, I really wanted her tonight, I mean we danced together this ev
As far as the first answer goes, I understand what you are saying and that is not the case, we havent had sex in a month and this is not the first night we have had a good night, this was just a really great night, its not all about sex, its about her letting me know that, besides seeing me as provider, father, friend, shoulder to cry on, supporter. That I can still be her lover!? But I know you are right, women are wired differently and men shall always try to figure it out and never be able to quite grasp it.

My brother has divorced his ex wife who is a cocaine adict. His ex wife got custody of their son and every month my brother pays his ex wife towards allimony and child suport. My brother is not very rich and works hard for money while his ex wife does nothing for a living beside dating other men and sleeping with them. Now my brother says he will never marry again.
Do you think divorce laws are in favor of women?
Do you think if pre nups were compulsory, divorce rates would be lower?
Do you think if couples stay together, then children have a better upbringing?
Please post your thoughts.

Her father is a career criminal that has been in and out of prison for the past 35 years. His offenses range from making meth to counterfeiting. Also a long history of making fake checks.

My wife seams to think that is it okay to have my son around him and I don’t. My wife has a serious gambling habit and has been “86″ from most of the casinos in our area. One casino sent a certified letter to us telling her she is not welcome on the property. I also had my bank call me and tell me that she was trying to cash a check she forged from my bank account.

My wife was supposed to take our son back yesterday but she never showed up and still hasn’t called (about 17 hours late so far). She is pro-per and I am trying to hire an attorney but haven’t yet because when she left she took every penny with her and left us dead broke..

There are many more disturbing facts but the ones I listed above should be enough to get custody I would think.

So my question is…can anyone give me advise on the best way to present my case and get custody of my son.

My husband and I were on the fast path. We met at work, bought a house after 2 months, pregnant after 8 months and engaged after 9 months of dating. I have a son from a previous relationship and my husband and him are the best of friends. 6 months before we got married my husband tried to commit suicide after I left him from yet another one of his spending sprees. For 2 years he would go on binges of spending, blow up credit cards, blow through are savings and then say he was sorry and would never do it again. After I would rebuild the savings he would go on another shopping spree. I finally gave up and left him, 2 days later we were in the hospital because he tried to kill himself. He got diagnosed with being Bipolar. I am a nurse so I understood all about this. I choose to forgive him and go on with life and the wedding. He was put on meds and started counseling.
We got married and had a beautiful wedding, everything I had ever dreamed of. We then went on our homeymoon and was away for a week. We then had a week at home wit the kids before work started again. We work at the same place so everyone knows are business. 3 days after being at work him and another co-worker started talking. One thing led to another, they exchanged numbers and well after 5 days of talking to her he tells me he is not in love with me and leaving me for another girl. This all happened 3 weeks and 1 day after we got married.
He moved out of the house and into his mothers.For the next 3 days he was with her. No sex but fooling around, BJs, emails and sexting. After those 3 days he was calling me asking me what happened. He couldnt remember. When he found I we were over, again he wanted to kill himself. We were back at the ER for a pysch eval. This time he got sent away for 15 days at a behavioral health center for intense counseling and medication adjustments, they said he was in a manic phase, part of being Bipolar.
It has been 3 months since he told me the news. He just moved back in last week as well as went back to work. My life has been a mess. The other women also works with us. I just cant seem to get the images out of my head. He is trying, taking his medication, going to outpatient therapy and has found God, attending church which he has never done in the past. He showers me with notes, cards, affection and so on. I have seen all this before though when he messes up. I have no trust for him. I wake up every morning wondering when and what will be the next time that he hurts me. I dont know if he can be faithful. I love him but hurt so much. I dont feel like its true, pure love anymore. I just am so confused and dont know what to do. Some of my own family wont even talk to me anymore because I chose to marry him. Help, please help with any advice.

Ok, so my wife’s husband is a complete scumbag. He has beat her and at one point put a cigarette out on her nose. However, she won’t leave him. He has her hooked with meth and drugs. I feel sorry for their 1 year old son most of all!!! However, I have learned that he may be in the country illegally. However, he is now married to her and she is a citizen. Also, it appears he is working under a false name. Its possible this is due to him having a warrant possibly?

Just wondering if there is a way me and my wife can make this guy dissapear so her sister can get the help and recovery she needs. Because it ain’t gonna happen with this guy around.
Ahh oops that is a typo. What I meant to say was my wife’s sisters husband. Not myself. Sorry, upset about this whole situation. We might have to try and get custody of the child is my wifes sister does not quit the meth and this guy doesn’t stop beating her.

I am in the worse of situations. I am from Europe and came here to achieve the American dream. Now, I am married to a man with mental issues and to top it off nine months pregnant. My family in Europe is poor and cannot help me. My life was so promising. I started out as a successful fashion model and traveled all over the world making a lot of money. Then I went back to school and was doing really good attending college full time and working. Then I met my husband and all my problems started. I admit I married him way to quick and his extreme neediness sucked me into a spiral I couldn’t get out of. He lied to me from the get go, and when I tried to leave him, he completely lost it and threatened to kill himself. I obviously was worried that he really might hurt himself and stayed. I stayed through all his weekly intoxicated ventures and irresponsible behaviors, I stayed through all his insane shopping sprees I even stayed when I found out that he had much less money than he really had. I stayed and stayed and always tried to see the best in him and hope that perhaps one day a miracle might bring some stability in this insanity. My savings soon dwindled and so did my sense of control. Three years after meeting him, I quit college in my third year, my money was gone and I discovered I was pregnant. During this whole pregnancy his mental health has gotten even worse. He started abusing everything that came in his hands, from taking Ambien and driving to excessive dosages of Lorazepam and alcohol. During my pregnancy he started yelling at me in public, tried to jump out a window and I had to hold him back smashed his head through a car’s windshield and was put into a mental institution after driving erratically in March 2009 and causing two car accidents in one day. I had hope that he could get the help he needed, but couple of months later, he stopped going to his AA meetings, I caught him with Ambien, never once was there for me or attempted to be of any support. He couldn’t even clean the littler box during my pregnancy. It is always about him and nobody else. He was on bipolar medication for the past months and nothing seemed to help. Then, three days ago, he mixed his bipolar medication with alcohol again and completely went off the deep end again. He is now in a mental institution again. He comes from a rich family (his father is a doctor), but himself has no money, just debt. He was a medical resident and got kicked off his first year due to who knows what. He now most likely will lose his new position as well. I am going to have the baby exactly one month from now and I am at the end of my robe. I have no money, I am two semesters short of having finished my education, I am thousands of miles away from my home country and I have a complete psycho husband. I am still in love with him and when I married him, I promised to stick with him through good and bad, but when does the bad become inexcusable? Hi parents are about as unsupportive as it gets. They haven’t even called me for two days to ask how their son or I am doing. A part of me feels really bad for my husband and I do want to help him, but another part just about had it.