Okay, i am 27 years old with my first child and I have a bachelors degree. I live with my grandparents. I am in the process of going back to school. I have been unemployed for a year. Anyhow, my grandparents have a 50 year old son who is an alcoholic and he has been living with us for 2 years or more. He goes from his childrens mother house, to his women, and back to my grandparents house to stay when he gets put out. In over 2 years he’s mostly stayed at my grandparents. He fights, cusses everyone out when he gets drunk hence the reason he has bounce from one house to the next. He recently lost his job and when he had a job he would not get an apartment of his own. Now hes broke and still drinking and has moved back in with my grandparents and I. I personally, do not want him here but I have no control over it. Also, I cant stand to be around him is this normal?
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My son is 17 . Though he never really claimed that he is atheist, but I think he is or atleast in few years he will be open about it, coz I dont see him participitating much in religious ceremony or even coming to church along with us(family). Even our pastor asks always why doesn’t our son doesn’t come to church along with me , my husband and 14yr old daughter. Thing is if i leave beside his view on religion or god, he is very good soon like anyone could wish for. He is very good in studies and always ranks in top 3 in his class, he has bright mind and he wants to study medicine later, which we are proud of. He is not into drugs, alcohol or even smoking, sometimes when my husband is little over drunk my son doesn’t like that and he always ask his dad to drink in limit. Not always, but whenever he free from his studies he always help me in daily chores , he is very loving to his young sister, and I have seen him always talking to my daughter that she has to be serious in studies and if has any problem come to him . I mean he is very good child, but what just bugs me he seems to not believe in god and doesnt practice our religion much, though he is always helpful to needy ones and gives respect to everyone. People always come to me saying that I have brought up my son really good, he is my pride. So should i really be worried if he turns out atheist or maybe agnostic ? my friends tell me i should be strict with him, but i don’t feel too and even my husband is not pushy about it. what should i do ?
George lopez is this hilarious show on Nickelodeon at 9 pm if u don’t watch it i recommend it. It’s just about this mexican living with his peppy, volunteer-addicted wife, his,kicked-out-from-old-private-school daughter, and his dyslexic son. And occassionally his ,alcoholic, mother, visits them. It’s really funny.
My husband and I got married 9 years ago and 8 and 1/2 years ago my step-son was dumped on us. His mother disappeared for 8 months and when she returned she didn’t want him back. My step-son was a little over 2 yrs. old at the time. When he came to live with us he was out of control. By 3 yrs old he was kicked out of 3 daycares and at 4 kicked out of pre-school. He would beat up my 4 yr. old and was very underdeveloped. My husband traveled for his job and would be gone 6 weeks at a time which left full responsibility of this kid on me. At 6 years old my step-son was diagnosed with ADHD and Fetal Alcohol syndrome. The last 4 years has been a major struggle in my marriage. I have told my husband that I can’t handle him anymore but he just doesn’t care. It even got to the point that I told him that he had to choose between my step-son and the rest of the family including myself and his other 2 children and he had said he would choose my step-son over the rest of us. My step-son is disrespectable, abusive, lazy and agues about everything. He is constantly fighting with our 7 yr. old and has hurt our 8 month old on several occasions. I can’t discipline my step-son because my husband is always defending him. My step-son will lie all the time and I will catch him in the lie and my husband will tell me to stay out of it. It is to the point that we are fighting on a daily basis over the things my step-son does or says. I have so much anger toward this kid because he is destroying my family and the relationship with my husband. My step-sons mother is willing to take him but my husband wont let him live there. I am to the point I think I hate the kid everytime I look at him I can feel the blood rushing. I don’t like the person I have become when he is around. What should I do HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
I want to thank everyone for their thoughts. The people that blame me I want to ask you if you are raising a step child, if not you have no clue. The people that feel sorry for the child, you must not of read my post correctly.
I have been raising this child on my own for the last 9 years. He was only 2 when he started living with me so the part where everyone said poor kid got abandond by his mother well he doesn’t even know so no that isn’t the reason why he is out of control. Next I treat my step-son like he is my own. Everything I give my other children he gets as well. The only thing I can’t give him is the bond between mother and child which he does have parents that give him that. For counceling, he does recieve it. I been bringing him to the doctor 2 times a month since he was 6 years old. What I was questioning was Is it normal to hate someone so much and why is his parent putting me through this. I know if my child wasn’t liked I would find some way to change the situation.
First of all, I’d like to start by saying I do pay rent to my parents and by 0 means am I a leecher. This statement is for the trigger-happy answerers who aren’t interested in reading succinctly.
Two, I define my version of “everyone” as civilized adults over the age of 18. Unfortunately there is no “adult” section on yahoo answers so I am forced to post here. For children (and also the children-minded adults), I suggest you continue to point your browser elsewhere.
I consider myself lucky. I have a decent job, a 4 year related college degree which I paid for completely out of pocket, $0 in combined debt (2 credit cards, paid car loan, paid student loan), $0 in medical bills, and I’m also in my early 20′s. At any time I can walk out and throw money away by getting an apartment or rent a condo. But I’d rather buy a house than throw my money away – and I consider paying interest a form of throwing away money. I fortunately “get along” with my parents and I have no other siblings to live with. They are happy with me as well, since I provide them with extra income and they no longer need to “provide” me with anything, save a single room. I would also assume they are lucky as well, they need not worry about having a meth addict for a son (I overhead this once while shopping at a liquor store recently – same age), or else having to provide for a leecher. I pay for everything I take for myself, whether it be food, car insurance, electricity bill, water bill, cable bill, ect. I know people who couldn’t stand their family and walked out at 18 and several years later can *just* barely make it month to month on rent and are also unable to get into a “career” because of the constant duty job work and lack of educated skill. I ask them if it was still worth it living in a run-down house in a bad neighborhood with no foreseeable future in mind, and their response: “hell yes.”
Anyways before I get too caught up in my own question, I’d like to state I do have a well-defined financial plan in mind, I see myself owning a very nice $350K house by age 28, no higher – with a combined $0.00 paid in mortgage interest. Assuming I can still apply myself as today, I will retire earlier than most and still cross the “million” barrier of financial worth. I know that with every year I live at home, I am saving hundreds of thousands of dollars in the process. Now I ask “everyone”, is all of this money worth the petty embarrassments like, bringing home a “casual encounter” you meet at a bar which may have been simpler if you had your “own place”?
Why the negative connotation in American society? Why the lack of life-planning? Why the disappointment in self when claiming living situation? Why chose to be the slave to a bank? What is normal?
Thank you to those who can provide a perceptive and rational dialogue.
When I was little (3-9) we were really close. She used to read me stories every night before I went to bed. My dad was always a dick. I can’t remember details…all I know is when he would come home after work I would run and hide from him. He used to TRY to help me with homework…but that never helped. He’d ask me a question from the homework paper, and if I missed it he would make me do push-ups. Sometimes until 11 o’clock at night, we would be up. I would sit it my room and cry but my mom would make it better.
Later…
When I was around 10 years old my parent’s got a divorce. I was really happy to get away from my dad. Me and my mom were still kind-of close until I was about 12. We would go see movies some nights. But I gradually kept spending more and more time in my bedroom by myself. Now I’m 14, and sometimes I go through the weekend without talking to her…but she doesn’t mind. She’s become more and more…bitchy. All she ever talks about is how my grades are falling, that my hair looks weird, or that my clothes look funny. Whenever I try to talk to her she yells at me. Even when I tried to talk to her about not being able to talk to her she yelled at me…lol. Sometimes it’s really boring or lonely in my room. I started smoking pot in order to escape and not be as lonely (pot makes me talk alot…to my friends through texting). Sometimes I go to my dad’s house…not that often. He’s gotten weird to. He has a mullet, and he’s started smoking cigars. My chorus teacher has taken note of the fact that I don’t spend much time with my mom at all. He..tries to help…but makes me feel like I’m the one who’s done something wrong. Then i feel bad that I don’t talk to her. I feel like I’m the one who’s staying disconnected. When I had just turned 14, I was really bad about drugs. I was looking really hard for XTC and even experimented with “hillbilly heroin” and alcohol. I used to hide like…60% vodka in my room. I’ve stopped doing so many drugs now…all I do is occasional dope. Am I the bad son? Really, all I’m doing at this point is waiting until my 18th birthday. Dont get me wrong…I do other things too.
I dj, make music (possibly on iTunes soon), design websites, raise bonsai trees, opened a dog clothing company, and give life advice…oh and photography, and make candles. I do alot of stuff on the side.
I forgot to mention above that my grades are also dropping, ever since I turned 13.
One more thing…I have a sister that turned out to be a great person. She has an awesome job in San Fransisco and she used to model.
Then a brother who just got out of jail and has no job… so you see the both sides of my family
And I’m worried that I going to turn out like my brother because my grades are dropping and I started drugs…that’s what my mom said.
This is my dads actions in the past/present (he’s not a fun mannn!!!)
a) he abandoned me in the woods
b) he abandoned me in a parking lot
c) he left me at my birthday party with no ride home
d) he let me chew tobacco when I was 3-6 years old
e) he would let me eat plants in the garden.
f) he’s the one that told me pot wasn’t dangerous.
g) He is currently trying to steal $1800 from me in medical benifits from when an alcoholic 15 year old tripped me down the stairs (compound fracture, right arm)
h) he is making me buy my own car and buy my own gas and my own insurance “aww, hell! You don’t need a car until your 18 years old anyway” -My Dad!
I’m 53 years old. I have raised two boys by myself after I kicked their cocaine addict, white trash, cheating father out of my house. Now, my son Aaron is 35 and my son Kevin is 31. I also have five grandchildren. Three from Aaron and two from Kevin. I love Aaron’s wife Monica but I do NOT like Kevin’s wife Carrie. My sons are my pride and joy, even in their thirties. When Aaron first met Monica, I didn’t like her but Aaron put his foot down and told me that I will not disrespect her in his presence. So, I grew to like Monica. Carrie on the other hand, I’ll always despise her.
Carrie is a weak, whiny little b*tch. She had a job, she cooked, cleaned, did laundry and took care of the kids while my son Kevin laid around and did nothing but eat, watch television, sleep and bang her. For years and years, Carrie cried and complained but she did NOTHING to demand her respect as a woman. That is WHY I don’t respect her. Let me tell you something. I barely had enough money to keep food on the table for my boys when I told their dad to leave, but I STILL managed. My self-respect was worth more. Last year, Carrie cheated on my son Kevin, claiming she was tired of being used and unappreciated. Why couldn’t she just LEAVE HIM? That just made me despise her more. It broke Kevin’s heart and now, he is working, helping her with their kids and simply shoving his head up Carrie’s a s s like a little coward. It’s awful. Now, I just called Aaron and Monica and offered to keep their children for the weekend. Monica wanted to know if Kevin and Carrie’s kids were coming over my house too and I said no. I didn’t bother to ask and I’m not going to. This led to an argument. Monica was simply being biased, because she and Carrie have became best friends on the strength that their husbands are brothers. Monica told me if I won’t take all of my grandchildren, then she and Aaron are keeping their kids home. Fine. If she wants to be immature like that. But after everything I said, do you understand where I’m coming from or am I wrong?
My son is 24 years old and just graduated from university this summer. He has been living with me and the family for the summer while he gets ready to move to Europe. Since my ex husband was an alcoholic, my son eventually grew up to hate alcohol of any type and refuse to touch them. But it was never really bad until he came back home this summer.
We learned that he greatly looks down upon anyone who drinks. It get so bad that it got to point where my daughter once brought a case of beer home for her boyfriend, my son suddenly stop talking with her boyfriend and call him a low life and white trash and have threaten to hurt him a couple time. This was very scary since my son was a division 1 wrestler and is generally a rather shy and very humble so it was unusual. We can also see he lose so much respect for his sister. He has even gone as far as refusing to shake anyone hand if they’re known to be a drinker. He also has punched his own father just because he tried to get my son to go to bar with him.
Odd thing is, he had a couple friends from Europe coming over this summer and he has absolutely no problem with them drinking or going to bar with them at all. When I asked him about this, he say Americans who drink alcohol are a low life white trash who just want to get drunk and worship alcohol while Europeans just treat it like any other drinks and don’t act like a idiot about it.
This is making me very uneasy and it is hurting me that he’s like this. I can’t even enjoy a glass of wine without him giving me a dirty look and it is just ruining his relationship with his father, sister, and her boyfriend. Once he saw me drinking a bottle of corona with Mexican food and he was like “what are you doing” I tried to explain him I enjoy beer with Mexican food, he was like “you’re being an idiot” which hurt me. I’ve even caught him pouring out a bit amount of wine or any alcohol around house a bit at a time and warned him he’ll not be able to live here if I caught him doing that again. I and my husband aren’t a big drinker, we may drink only a glass or so once every month or so. My daughter’s boyfriend like to drink but he’s not an alcohol, he just like to have a couple beer after work or so. Yet my son cannot respect this at all. Then he turns around and has absolutely no problem with his European friends drinking beer.
Why is he like this? What can I do to fix this problem before he move? I don’t want him to leave on a bad term.
My ex i know has been on cocaine before i know this for a fact but yesterday his mom told me he was restless and he kept moving constantly while asleep and talking loudly it almost looked like convulsions( she taped it) well when i went to see him he had huge pimple like sores or spider like bites all over his forehead he says he thinks something bit him but he was home all morning not only that but there was a huge bump at top of head. Please help me as he is my sons father and i don’t want to see him destroy himself
also he has been picking at it constantly nonstop and when i first got there he could barely look at me straight in the eye his eyes would roll back i just think that this could be meth and i want to know for sure since his parents don’t help or wont because they dont want to ruin their image
My fiance has an 8 year old son. The child has been through plenty in his young years. By age 1 1/2 he was taken from the mother completely. She has no rights and hasn’t seen him in almost 7 years. The state contacted my fiance and said “you better come get him or he will go into state custody”. My fiance went and got him, though admittedly, wasn’t thrilled about the whole aspect of it. The next 4 years the child was with my fiance and his ex girlfriend. The ex girlfriend didn’t pay attention to the child, didn’t teach him much. He pretty much just existed in the household. Her birth children (3 of them) all chose to live with their father once the judge allowed them to make the decision. She is an alcoholic (2 DWI’s in 4 years… one incident in which she ran over a man and killed him), uses cocaine and some prescription drug illegally. Any way, my fiance left her but continued to send his son to stay with her every weekend. He continued to do this into our relationship. The son was coming home with burnt fingers, huge scratch marks on his body, bruises, etc. I finally said if the child goes there again, I will call CPS and have things looked into. The child stopped going there. Well now, it seems like Dad really doesn’t give a sh*t about this child at all. I know in my heart he was sending him because he didn’t want to keep him 7 days a week. It gave him a break. Now I find that I am the only one raising this child. Dad hardly ever takes care of him. It seems like I have to force him to.
How do I make my fiance actually BE a father? I am ready to call it quits if I can’t some up with a solution. I hate to see this child shuffled around any more but I am frustrated.
My fiance has an 8 year old son. The child has been through plenty in his young years. By age 1 1/2 he was taken from the mother completely. She has no rights and hasn’t seen him in almost 7 years. The state contacted my fiance and said “you better come get him or he will go into state custody”. My fiance went and got him, though admittedly, wasn’t thrilled about the whole aspect of it. The next 4 years the child was with my fiance and his ex girlfriend. The ex girlfriend didn’t pay attention to the child, didn’t teach him much. He pretty much just existed in the household. Her birth children (3 of them) all chose to live with their father once the judge allowed them to make the decision. She is an alcoholic (2 DWI’s in 4 years… one incident in which she ran over a man and killed him), uses cocaine and some prescription drug illegally. Any way, my fiance left her but continued to send his son to stay with her every weekend. He continued to do this into our relationship. The son was coming home with burnt fingers, huge scratch marks on his body, bruises, etc. I finally said if the child goes there again, I will call CPS and have things looked into. The child stopped going there. Well now, it seems like Dad really doesn’t give a sh*t about this child at all. I know in my heart he was sending him because he didn’t want to keep him 7 days a week. It gave him a break. Now I find that I am the only one raising this child. Dad hardly ever takes care of him. It seems like I have to force him to.
How do I make my fiance actually BE a father? I am ready to call it quits if I can’t some up with a solution. I hate to see this child shuffled around any more but I am frustrated.
I have an 18 year old honor student son who has never been in trouble and has always been our pride and joy. However, this summer he started seeing a 25 year old girl with a 2 year old son. She has bought him alcohol and he has been lying to us all of the time. Our relationship with him has really deteriorated, which just breaks my heart. I know I can’t choose his girlfriends but I could use some advise.
My fiance has an 8 year old son. The child has been through plenty in his young years. By age 1 1/2 he was taken from the mother completely. She has no rights and hasn’t seen him in almost 7 years. The state contacted my fiance and said “you better come get him or he will go into state custody”. My fiance went and got him, though admittedly, wasn’t thrilled about the whole aspect of it. The next 4 years the child was with my fiance and his ex girlfriend. The ex girlfriend didn’t pay attention to the child, didn’t teach him much. He pretty much just existed in the household. Her birth children (3 of them) all chose to live with their father once the judge allowed them to make the decision. She is an alcoholic (2 DWI’s in 4 years… one incident in which she ran over a man and killed him), uses cocaine and some prescription drug illegally. Any way, my fiance left her but continued to send his son to stay with her every weekend. He continued to do this into our relationship. The son was coming home with burnt fingers, huge scratch marks on his body, bruises, etc. I finally said if the child goes there again, I will call CPS and have things looked into. The child stopped going there. Well now, it seems like Dad really doesn’t give a sh*t about this child at all. I know in my heart he was sending him because he didn’t want to keep him 7 days a week. It gave him a break. Now I find that I am the only one raising this child. Dad hardly ever takes care of him. It seems like I have to force him to.
How do I make my fiance actually BE a father? I am ready to call it quits if I can’t some up with a solution. I hate to see this child shuffled around any more but I am frustrated.
My alcoholic sister (whom I dearly love) has been visiting for a week. She’s been drinking a little every day. She is always worse than I thought she is. I don’t get to see her much. The first morning she even had the shakes really bad and had to take alchohol to get rid of them.
Her legs are so weak she can barely walk. She says it’s from a stroke she had two years ago? She never went for therapy, of course…
She was on my back deck smoking a cigarette, I went out front to do some work for 20 minutes, I came back into the house and she was flat on her back on the floor, eyes real big and open, she had froth around her mouth and seemed incoherent. Within seconds her legs drew up a bit, every part of her was shaking, she looked pale, she could not speak but looked as though trying to answer me, her hands went back and forth. I of course called 911.
The episode lasted maybe 4-5 minutes. By the time the ambulance got here, she was coherent, she claimed she was sleeping (duh).
She had fallen twice few days before (which is not unusual for her) and she got severely bruised on every part of her body including above her right eye. (She says her blood thinners make her bruise easily). The paramedics said her coumadin might be too strong since the bruises are so dark looking.
She went without any of her meds for an entire year and only two months ago started taking them again. (She doesn’t ever want to go to the doctor’s for a check-up and refills on the prescriptions).
The paramedics said her blood pressure was high. And, because she was now coherent, they could not “force” her to go to the hospital. My sister refused to go and get checked out.
She will most likely NOT go to be checked at all, and I would like to know what sounds like might have happened with her from anyone who has had experience with alcoholics and stroke victims.
I know I cannot make her quit drinking. I know in my heart she will most likely die young (she’s 56 years old) on me, and I cry and dread the day. The paramedics seem to think it was a seizure. Her son whom she lives with says this type thing never happened before. Could this have been a seizure/stroke?
and the rest of the chorus that i can remember goes like this: why aren’t you crying out loud, seems a (somethin) is to walk away , a strange age where kids wake screaming from a matter of meth
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
she and her brother have been warned time and time again that small toys and objects are not for babies. they have rules and boundaries in our house. they knew better unless obviously there is some mental issue with the girl because of her mothers meth use. my husband forces me to pretend that we are a “normal” family and that i am the kids’ mother and he doesnt deal with the real mother..guess who has to do it? ME and i dont think its right. i dont resent the kids. i resent him and the situation he has made for our family. a lot of things changed when he married me he expected me to basically take the total place of their mother and i dont think they like that and thats why i feel they are being resentful….you cant you people see that?!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
Yes and like i said she could have a developmental delay but i find it hard to believe but im not ignoring that possibility. i think her and her brother both need counseling. they both were warned time and time again how dangerous small toys and objects are to babies. it was not like they were not told. they are old enough to know the difference IF THERE IS NO MENTAL ISSUE. this girl is supposed to be in kindergarten in less than a year. hello?
Yes these children have their own space the girl has her own room for christs sakes. the baby and the other boy share a room because we only have three bedrooms. they are never treated like they are extras. the only way they would feel that way is the fact that they are shuffled by the choices of their BIOLOGICAL MOTHER AND FATHER which i am not. that is that. plain and simple. i have expressed my concern to both of them and guess what? they think its just fine for the kids. some parents eh? my husband did not have this custody until we had been together for awhile. so its not like i knew it would all be like this. ok
Now wait a minute…i left to use the bathroom for 2 minutes…what do u expect me to do..take them all to the bathroom with me and for your information my step daughter went searching through my things. when she knew that she is not supposed to do those things…. she is not a toddler she is almost 5 (4 years and 11 months)!!! and the other kid is almost done with 1st grade not kindergarten (he’s almost 7)! and spanking is not illegal especially if the intent was not to harm them or leave marks which i didnt! so dont judge my parenting i asked a question. THANK YOU.
Now wait a minute…i left to use the bathroom for 2 minutes…what do u expect me to do..take them all to the bathroom with me and for your information my step daughter went searching through my things. when she knew that she is not supposed to do those things…. she is not a toddler she is almost 5 (4 years and 11 months)!!! and the other kid is almost done with 1st grade not kindergarten (he’s almost 7)! and spanking is not illegal especially if the intent was not to harm them or leave marks which i didnt! so dont judge my parenting i asked a question. THANK YOU.
also…the baby could have put those safety pins in his mouth and choked and died. whether or not she was trying to kill him i dont know how people would not think she needs help.
by the way the safety pins were in a box out of their reach (up higher on my desk)…meaning they must have climbed something to get to them…so obviously they were looking through my things….i never said that they were trying to kill the baby but tell me why that is not possible? please any body show me a reference PLEASE!
i appreciate some of the answers with compassion here and logical explanations but how many of you are actually in a step situation? or blended family?
i am 24 years old 25 on friday
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for **** that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL **** those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
I used to smoke till april’2009 regularly. But for personal problem i quite . Now for visitation of my son they want to test my hair. My problem is I am a musician and i have very long Hair. How long these drugs will stay in my hair or my Body. I exercise regularly I ran but last 7th June was my birthday so i have taken some puffs from the stick with my friends marijuana and hashish please help I don’t want to get caught my son means everything to me .
What’s that one movie where they call this old lady and mess with her head and tell her shes gonna be on t.v and shes fat and gets addicted to some pills and they make her see stuff and go crazy and her son is a Cocaine addict and he lives with his Girlfriend who is a cocaine addict too, And she is so addicted she sleeps around to get it whats the name of the movie?
Found a white substance in my sons coat pocket…he says its just baking soda…to help clear up his face…friend told him it works…i dont believe him…he even told me to taste it to check. I dont know what Im checking for. Never used. What do i do? Im afraid to taste it.
