He came home for Thanksgiving break about a two months ago. Just a few days after Thanksgiving Day, he was going out to meet up with a few high school friends. I trusted his judgment fully, and let him go. Then around 2:30 am I was woken by a phone call that shattered all my preexisting impressions about my son. I learned that he had been driving to a fast-food restaurant with a Blood Alcohol Level of 0.14, and was doing 75 in a 30 zone. Further tests revealed heroin and cocaine in his bloodstream. He was detained by the police when he had crashed headlong into another car. He was ok physically, but the 4 people in the car he hit were all severely injured, and two of them will be in a wheelchair for life. I thank God that none of them were killed.

I was absolutely devastated when I found out what had happened, but that was only the beginning. I desperately did not want to believe that my son had done something so terrible, so I later asked him what had happened. He was hysterical, and broke down. He admitted that he had been going behind my back throughout high school abusing drugs and alcohol, and that he had driven under the influence “dozens of times.” I demanded to know where he had gotten the money, and he admitted to me, crying, that he had spent years manipulating his buddy Travis, who is extremely intelligent but extremely naive and kindhearted. I was absolutely shocked. The two of them had been best friends for as long as I remember. They went to elementary school together, played on the basketball team together in 5th grade, and were in the same Sunday School classes. Ever since his sophomore year of high school, he had been persistently lying to his friend about “my father losing his job,” “my aunt having cancer and not being able to afford hospital bills,” “my parents can’t afford my tuition,” and many many more, in order to get the money to buy drugs and alcohol. All this time, Travis had no idea that he was being deceived, and when it finally came out, he was heartbroken and inconsolable.

My son has taken about 8 or 9 thousand dollars altogether. Travis’ father is the owner of an enormous company, and has a salary of 12.5 million, so it somewhat eases my conscience that they would not have struggled to make ends meet. But NOTHING excuses my son lying and stealing from his best friend for so long, and NOTHING excuses the four innocent lives that he so needlessly ruined.

I was so angry to learn this, I immediately told him that he has 10 minutes to pack whatever he can and I screamed at him to get out. I threw him into the streets (and several feet of snow) with little more than the clothes on his back, and said that I never wanted to see him again. He had no car, no cell phone, no computer, and I immediately closed down his bank account and destroyed every item and photograph in the house that reminded me of him. He was due to make several court appearances due to the DUI crash, but I refused to hire a lawyer and planned on letting him suffer the consequences. He was sentenced to 5 years. I have not seen or spoken to him ever since that day two months ago, and have no knowledge of his whereabouts.

The whole situation still boggles my mind, and I still cannot comprehend what exactly went wrong. We live in a good neighborhood, he went to a good high school, he comes from a loving and supportive family, and he was very well-liked and respected by his peers and teachers. I know that most of his friends do not use drugs, and his best friend Travis is as clean as a whistle. Honestly, he has everything a teen could ask for. No family problems, no financial problems, no academic or social problems. I have zero clue as to what might have motivated this behavior. He never offered any explanation, and was still trying to defend his actions by saying that “everyone does drugs and alcohol,” and “He could afford to give me that money.”

There is nothing I can do right now since he has started carrying out his sentence of 5 years. Everyone in our neighborhood knows what happened, and several teens have finally decided to come forward to enlighten me about his history of drugs and alcohol and lies and theft. But it’s been two months since that tragic day, and as a parent, I have to wonder if I was right to disinherit my child for such a reason. Did I do the right thing?

What would you do if your teenage son or teenage daughter disobey you and sneak out anyway?

Tell me what would you REALLY DO?

This is just a brief description of how our divorce came about, and how we ended up in court.. but if I grabbed a picket sign and sat outside the courthouse (just myself) would I be arrested. I appealed, but this is some kind of joke. There was no rehab ordered for her or anything. Just a psychological exam that she failed miserably.

I want to get her the help she needs. I even offered to pay for it although we are separated. I was denied and our child still remains with her.

Would I be arrested if I did a one man protest outside the court house?

Last night my 22 year old and him got in it, and he started throwing dishes and breaking things. My 22 year old (like my husband) has always had anger problems so I just told him to leave for now. My 19 year old called the police but hung up when my 22 year old left and my husband went outside. My husband came inside got in my face and started screaming at me and even shoved me (I almost fell when here I just had a hip replacement). My 19 year old saw this and pinned his dad against the wall and said “You can f*cking yell at me all you want like a Drill Instructor, but you will NOT lay a finger on anyone here. I was in boot camp long enough to learn how to fight and unless you wanna pick yourself up off the floor, you better back the f*ck off!” My husband stormed off, and later came in the house and said we are kicking our son out tomorrow or he’s calling the police and having him removed. Can he do that if my son is the only one taking care of me and my kids? I agreed that next time it got that I want him to have the police come and arrest my husband. I’ve had many talks with him about his path to self destruction but he is only getting worse.

I don’t know what to do. I am an emotional wreck and I can tell that this situation is pushing my 19 year old to the edge because he can’t even focus on getting his shoulder fixed so he can re-enlist. What do I do if my husband tries kicking out my 19 year old?

LAST QUESTION- If I divorced him, would I be able to keep the house if MY dad (who is very wealthy) took over the payments until I can get back to work and help pay???

We live in Iowa if that makes any difference.