How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I have a 6mo. old son and I’m getting married this year the only problem is the man Im marrying is not my sons father. They have been together since the day my son was born. My fiancee cares so much about my son but sometimes he just seems to stressed out to deal with him. I love him but I want to do whats best for my baby… I don’t have the option of being with my sons father he is an alcoholic, drug using p.o.s. should i get married this soon or should i wait longer to see how things will be in a year?

I SOOO bad want to get the fact about fetal alcohol exposure , out there, but I get the feeling that a lot of women who do/did drink feel that I am judging, when that is not at all true.

You can’t take away what has already been done, but know what the effect are the the baby is very important for appropriate care/treatment.

Drinking during the first 8 WEEKS is the most harmful to the baby, even though some women didn’t know they were pregnant…. it just is.

I want people to think twice before drinking even 1 drop while pregnant…. no amount is safe. Docs might say 1 drink is “okay”, but “okay” is relative. Some people think it’s okay to get tattoos (my husband and I both have them), but the fact is, tattoos are painful, cause scarring and have risks attached to them.

So the risks may be “okay” with some people, but it’s still there.

I am raising a son with FAS and have to someday explain to him why simple things are so hard to understand, why a breeze causes him pain, why he is so tiny, why his heart is in the wrong place causing a choking sensation.

—- It’s not because he’s not love or becuase someone wanted to hurt him, but because of the myths of what alcohol can really do to a baby, the myth that if you don’t know your’re pregnant, that the baby will be okay, the idea that you HAVE to binge drink everyday to have an effect….. this is why he had FAS, because people tell pregnant women that it “okay”….. well it’s NOT okay, it hurts.
Why won’t people believe what alcohol REALLY does to babies.

Here is a timeline of what systems are effected by alcohol at different staged of pregnancy

http://www.acbr.com/FAS/Graphics/teratogens.jpg

Why won’t people believe what alcohol REALLY does to babies.

Here is a timeline of what systems are effected by alcohol at different staged of pregnancy

http://www.acbr.com/FAS/Graphics/teratogens.jpg

All it takes is 1 drink at the time when the heart moves from the center of the fetus to the left, for there to be malrotation and for the heart to noe get to the right spot. In my son his is over his trahea and when his blood pressure or heart rate goes up or he gags. There are many things that take years to show up.

“perfectly healthy” is relative. I dont know many kids who were NOT exposed that are “perfectly healthy”. Just wait until you kids get older, the effects will start to shine through.

Alright, this is a pretty specific question so im hoping to get some specific advice.
I am 27 years old, I have no job (but have joined job classes and expect to see results soon) and have no place, also something I expect to resolve soon with the help of my fiance.

I have a 3 year old son with my ex girlfriend, who now lives 60+ miles away. Our relationship was never serious, and unfortunately when she became pregnant she didn’t want to give up her drug habits (Methamphetamine, alcohol, and marijuana.

Our son was born June 10th T.H.C Positive, and when I thought CPS would take him away they didn’t. Nothing happened, When we went home (which was my mothers due to my shortcomings) I was left to care for him in the first 18 months of his life. Medically, developmentally, the whole nine yards, while she continued to go get high. She would bring her druggie friends home and show off her baby without taking any of the responsibility.

I became fed up and told her to quit her drug use or leave. She left to her mothers (5 miles away) and Took my son with her. We had worked out visitations where I see him every weekend, and we grudgingly exchanged him until he was 2 years old.
A month before my sons 2nd birthday I met my current fiance, and here is where things get specific.

My sons mother was furious that I was allowing my fiance to meet my son. and quickly refused visitations. My fiance then confronted my sons mother in an attempt to set things right, and in an effort not to seem unreasonable, forged a friendship with my fiance. In the months that followed my fiance convinced her to let me see my son every other week, one week at a time.
During this time I myself hypocritically had a problem with marijuana addiction. My fiance cleaned me up, and we’ve now moved out and plan to marry in the near future.
She is attending nursing school and I am staying with my sister, job hunting, and trying to make a step up to stand on my feet.

My ex however, refused me visitations to him the minute we moved out of the area. She has since, found a boyfriend, become pregnant again and is plainly neglecting my son.

She is still using drugs (although I have no proof), the boyfriend she is with is also using drugs, has an alcoholics anonymous tattoo and has gone to jail for violent and drug related charges. My ex also has a 8year old daughter that was seized by CPS for sexual molestation, they skirted around getting her fully taken away by signing parental rights over to her mother (who is disabled, on medical marijuana, has an ex husband who is currently running from the law, and a current boyfriend who is in prison for robbery.)

With all the obvious neglect, bad influences, dangerous situations, and whatnot, what are my chances of getting sole custody of my son? Again I have no home of my own, and no job to date. I have virtually no income and as of now I can’t see my son. (was lucky enough to get a visit in the last three weeks which ended in my ex’s mothers, ex husband threatening to kill my son if I try to see him. )

Theres no established custody other than that my son carries my last name. I realize that once you get into legalities you have to face child support, I have no way to pay but would happily give ll the money I could earn just to see him in a happier situation.

What are my chances, what can I do? Again I know this question is a lot of he. she, they, and a lot of twists, but Im at the end of my rope and am using yahoo as a last ditch effort to reclaim some sort of hold on my situation.

Ive called the narcotics unit on them for the GIANT marijuana crop they have, and that went nowhere (thanks to my ex’s mothers medical license) Ive called CPS to let them know about the type of people that my son is subject to, the neglect history and his mothers habits, and that also has gone nowhere.

In fact, CPS has flat out stated they won’t do anything about it, even when I called them to report signs of neglect (like not sending him with a change of clothes, diapers (because nobody has tried to potty train him), or taking him to the hospital when he becomes ill.

I have a 6mo. old son and I’m getting married this year the only problem is the man Im marrying is not my sons father. They have been together since the day my son was born. My fiancee cares so much about my son but sometimes he just seems to stressed out to deal with him. I love him but I want to do whats best for my baby… I don’t have the option of being with my sons father he is an alcoholic, drug using p.o.s. should i get married this soon or should i wait longer to see how things will be in a year?

My cousin called my Mom last May (the 19th) and asked her to take her 2 small children. She just showed up today, almost a year later with cops and her “lawyer” to get her kids. She had called my Mom because she was arrested in a meth lab with her 2 month old and she thought OCS was going to take them from her. My Mom had her sign a paper granting temperary custody, not to exceed 6 months, just long enough to go through her court appointed rehab. Well, she went once, but never completed it. She is now 7 months pregnant with another baby and still on crystal meth. When we got her 4 year old son, he was malnurished and had 4 abcessed teeth that my Mom had removed by a dentist. Her 8 month old daughter could not sit up and weighed more than her brother. Their “egg donor” had been feeding her bottles just to keep her quiet while she got high and then slept it off. Our family is devastated. Is there anything legal that can be done besides calling OCS to watch her like a hawk? Please Pray!

Is this some sort of code or slang for drugs? He is always saying that his friend tommy is giving him “Blow Jays” and i don’t want him getting into cocaine or crack. please help, thanks

I am a considerably wealthy 32-year-old single mother living in California, USA. My height is pretty tall, nearly reach 6ft and I don’t wanna brag, but I’m BUFFED and I do almost every exercise possible to keep such a muscular form. But still it looks like I’m a little out of shape to wear my favorite swimwear — bikinis. I always thought they looked good on me.

The other day I went swimming in my back pool wearing my favorite red polka dot bikini. But then my nine-year-old (he’s quite a healthy boy, kinda big in the belly, but still in pretty good shape) son came up to me and said with an odd look, “Wow, Mom, you look pretty big to be wearing one of those.”

I was pretty unprepared for that remark, but he’s only nine, so you know, I didn’t really take it that seriously. I just spanked his butt and sent him inside.But then I got out of the pool and looked at my backside in the mirror.

My butt has gotten REALLY big. Seriously, it sticks out really far that I’m surprised that I haven’t been knocking things over. And my hips and thighs, ugh…or should I say my hippo hips and thunder thighs. I mean, the bra fits over my big bust easily, but it’s the thong that almost completely disappears when I put it on. It’s like I’m only hot from the waist upwards, minus the noticeable bulk that is my stomach.

I at first thought it was just the bikini that shrunk but then I tried on my pink one, my baby blue one, my purple one, etc. It was definitely me alright.

I mean, I don’t binge until I vomit everyday on junk food. I eat good foods and all that. Though I do have considerably big meals; breakfast, lunch and dinner. But surely I work them off during exercise. I spend HOURS building up each day!

I’m in a bit of a pickle then. I exercise, eat right but it looks I am just getting too fat to be wearing bikinis and I’m only 32. My sister told me I should probably just get a liposuction and I am considering it. I don’t want to have to end up being only able to wear swimsuits at only 32. And after all, I’ve plenty of surgeries before: I’ve had implants, had my lips plumped up and my nose fixed-up.

How can someone with a bod like mine get too fat for a bikini?

But what do you think?

Is it appropriate to not serve punch, or are there other non-alcoholic drinks that could be used in it’s place?

My brtoher, my only brother and sibling (no sisters), got married at 23 going on 24. so for him, kinda youngish. also he had just got out of college, it wasn’t the right time really. well a year later he developed a bad habit of binge drinking, which got him 3 dui’s in the same year, 4 emergency hospitalizations bc he drank rubbing alcohol after running out of regular alcohol, and several times in rehab. his wife got pregannt about 2 months b4 i did, and about 5 months into her pregnancy, he stopped his binge drinking and seemed to have changed. well 2 months after their daughter was born, he was back to it again. his daughter, now 6 months, has wound up getting hrut from it. the day afetr ym baby who si now 3 months was born, his wife claims that he had tried to kill their daughter by trying to choke her—she told my father this and I found out through the grapevine—in a drunken rage when she was crying. then, just a week ago, in one of his drunken states, he held her and she fell, with him, and had bruises on her body so she had to be examined. that was when his wife made him go to our aprents’ hosue and he stayed for an week. well hes back there again, and he got drunk again, with the baby with him alone. my sil went to work tonight, and she called my parents and said she was frantic that he was doing something to their daughter or neglecting her. I felt bad for her, but couldnt help but wonder why if she was worried about the very life of her daughter, she didn’t just leave work? she claims she would get fired bc she was the only one there 9it’s a store in the mall0 but is anything worth more than your daughter/ I told her this and got her to leave work. But I am still in a state of shock over my brother whom Ive never known to be a ‘bad’ or violent person. I am terribly worried about my niece and something happening to her, and also him, bc of his drinking. I also feel bad for his wife and my parents, bc his wife always calls them almost every time he “acts up” (b4 their daughter was born too), which in a way is not fair to my parents bc they’re older and hes a grown man, 28 years old. anyhow, how can I help my brother?
i have a 3-month-old myself and am afraid to even leave her in the same room alone with him for a min now. (when eh comes over and I’m there with her). I am also wondering if I should offer to watch their daughter for a few days/ (her parents already have their hands full with her siblings)?
also, I know this is babys ection, but I posted this in family as well, but I wanted to psot here bc it does involve some aspects of aprenting. also bc I’m stressed otu for ym brother, and terrified of soemthing happenign to him or my niece, and feeling bad for his wife, and also my parents, bc he is their only son, how can I not let this affect my parenting/ bc also my parents were partly my support system, and now I have almost no support system, bc they are now trying to focus their energy on helping him, which I think si what is necessary, but its also scary for me
is there any1 at all who can give me some advice? also, any1 else who has similar issues with their family that is also a new parent?

My ex is an alcoholic..has been for years but I could never prove it..Well recently I have found somethings out that I didnt know before. Like on New Years Eve he was rushed to the hospital after passing out, spitting up blood, and then stopped breathing. When he arrived at the hospital he had a blood alcohol content of .386 (they just called it .4) Then last april I found out he was too intoxicated to take our son to the hosp. for stitches and the neighbor had to do it. The other day his new girlfriend called me at 9:30pm and started calling me names for no reason so drunk she was slurring and not making any sense. My son is very affraid of him and has told the school counselor this and that his dad drinks everyday all day. He makes 29 dollars an hour and hasnt made a house or truck pymnt in 3 months and keeps having his water shut off..what do you think my chances are of getting the supervised visits?

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Kathy A
S This is emberassing, but I am about to take my son back from my sister.?
I had a drinking problem and recieved a P.I. and my son had to move into my sister’s home while I attended an intensive outpatient program. After that, I recieved a D.W.I. and let him stay with her until I cleaned up my act. I am ready now, doing very well and very happy as a matter of fact (I actually love the 12 steps-they are life skills). I know she is going to fight me tooth and nail over this, legally. I will go to any lengths to keep my son and do whatever is necessary in order to do so. Who can help me prepare for this upcoming battle? I finally have the guts as he alwyas comes over crying and saying how awful it is there (she’s very demeaning and controlling and argues non-stop), but it is nothing that would carry any weight. She used to cocaine and dated a dealer, etc. She put this in her pass and is very successful now and I respect that, but I will never be “good” in her eyes. Nobody is. Please don’t think I just want to play mom out of the blue.
You guys are so sweet. I didn’t expect so much understanding. I’m crying to know that total strangers would take the time out to help me. If any one of you ever needs help with something, e-mail me at kathyjo8675309@yahoo.com. I’ll do what I can. I didn’t ever sign away rights and my son and I are VERY close as this was a short lived relapse. I didn’t drink most of his life. I did write my sister a nice but firm e-mail telling her of my intentions. I couldn’t have done it with out all of you! Gosh, do any of you live in Texas? I could use a supportive friend right now!

Is it appropriate to not serve punch, or are there other non-alcoholic drinks that could be used in it’s place?

in order to get my son out of dcf custody i need to get off the meds i am prescribed by my dr. i don’t drink or use any illegal drugs just the ones im prescribed .problem is i cant go into in patient rehab for 7 days or i will lose my home and job.so i need opinions on suboxen and if it works cuz i just need it for 3-5 days cuz that’s what they give you at detox where they want me to go ,and is there a bad detox off of that drug as well or is there something over the counter i can take to get them out and not Just mask it for the drug test i want 2 be copletly drug free amd work a na program please help me someone i beg you