How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My son and I have written this together for advice…How pathetic I am 42 years old and seeking help “online” but I guess I feel a little desperate. My son, my husband and I all had a fight tonight, or should I say I completely blew up (in an immature way using the “F” word and nearly every other one as well) at my son and husband and then proceeded to leave the house leaving them both behind. My son has apologized but frankly often does and we wind up fighting again just 5 minutes later. I should add, I often apologize too. I am seriously am frustrated and self admittedly, not handling myself very well anymore. By my sons perception, I “freaked out because he has not handed in a homework assignment” and I over reacted by telling/screaming at him he makes Me angry every single Fing day of the week which lately is just a fact. I got angry with my husband because frankly, every single day as my son and I argue about EVERYTHING, he just sits there watching TV or ignoring the entire event, NEVER supporting me. To paint the picture, my son is an absolutely awesome kid and has great values but the truth is he is lazy and a procrastinantor and it is driving me crazy. He does not do drugs or alcohol and is very wholesome. Aside from that he talks back to me EVERYDAY and everytime I insist that he steps up to the plate. He is 18 years old and a senior and for the past 6-8 years he has missed homework assignments, made excuses, played video games, etc… Every single day I rode him to do his work and he would decieve me and pretend it was done. His grades were crappy enough that he will be going to a community college, he does not have grades to get into a four year school. Grades vary from a F-B average 2.0 GPA. I know academics are not everything but these are BAD habits not conducive to having a successful life. He sees my constant critism as “ragging” everyday and being “mean”. At 18 years old, never having a job and being lazy and talking back non stop, I feel like I am starting to crack. My husband, not his father, but in the picture since he was four offers ZERO support. That is a seperate issue I am completely disturbed about and his biological father does NOTHING and lives 2000 miles away…visits once a year for 5 days and leaves a hero. Might I add never a dime in child support.
This morning I got up at 600 am (up before my husband) ….got ready, went to work until 500pm as a nurse, picked my son up from the “gym”-which I paid for, brought him home, fed the dogs, changed, went for a walk and then grocery shopping for groceries(at 10 pm) since my son claims there is nothing to eat if he doesn;t have skim milk (can’t be 2%), low sugar bread, cold cuts, shredded wheat, honey, soups, snacks etc… I will also mention he does not have a drivers liscence yet as he has not shown the level of maturity necessary for me to trust he will make safe decisions behind the wheel. His room is a PIG STY, and he thinks I am just being a Bitch if I comment on any of these things. Frankly, it is getting old….I feel like I have a really good “12″ year old. I also feel like a failure because I feel resposnible for his being so ill prepared for the real world and lastly I am completely PISSED OFF that I have a husband who hasn’t stepped up to plate to help parent in 14 years and a deadbeat for an ex husband too. So maybe I am an angry bitter woman? Will someone give me a reality check? I don;t want to be mean to my son and husbnad but I feel like I am going crazy some days and it is not my hormones. It is my REAL feelings!! please give me feedback….

Thoughts from SON: Ok basically like she said my mom is the only real authority in life. As of right now I have C’s B’s and A’s last year I did fail chem and math so I know where she is coming from. Often Times I do talk back but often times my mom freaks out Curses at me which I never do to her and becomes so unresonible I cant even talk to her. Sometimes I think she gets mad at my step dad and takes it out on me or vice versa. I know she is stressed but I honestly think she has a problem. And maybe I do 2. I would go for support and would like outside views. Yes I didnt do my math homework. That just started it. She takes things and blows them to an extreme. Sometimes she is awesome, lovely and encouraging but when she snaps which is daily as do I 1. She will say make her angry everyday and stand the way. Which admit I do talk back alot but I instantly apoligize and am ALWAYS the first one 2 admit im wrong and try to make things better. But really how bad am i. I have a dirty room and get average grades. That isnt horrible. I dont do drugs and I am an eagle scout (with my moms support). Arent I just the average kid? Also she makes me clean my room every 2 days and it only takes about 10-20 mins so how bad can it be. The things she yells at me for are things like are things i do over and over like YOU DIDNT GET A TOWEL FOR YOUR SHOWER? THERES C

Our son is 15 1/2, mother is bipolar, anxiety disorder, and add, father is alcoholic/anger managemnt issues. Our son was diagnosed with add when younger, he is struggling in school and wants to try something to help him concentrate. I am worried about the meds affecting his anxiety. Any opinion on something he might try?

Our son started having emotional and behavioral problems about 12 years ago. My husband abandoned me last year for another woman whose children are raised. They are now married and living in another state. Our son continues to have problems. Looking back I have felt like a single Mom for all 12 years. As our son’s problems increased, my husband pulled farther away. His traveling increased. When he would return home from one of his frequent trips,I would take the blame for handling all the sitiuations with our son the wrong way, even though he didn’t want to get involved at the time it was happening. My ex is a “functioning alcoholic” so perhaps that’s why. I believe he loves our son, but couldn’t handle the problems. He continues to call our son every night and has since he left. He has also seen him. But he still doesn’t want to hear about the problems. He just tells me I’m a poor mother when I approach the subject. Has anybody else experienced something similar?
You can’t help an alcoholic if they won’t help themselves. Our son has been in counseling for 12 years. He suffers from several disorders. The divorce and alcoholism haven’t helped but weren’t the “causes”. Mental disorders run in my family. Our son has a predisposition for being an alcoholic due to problems in my ex’s family and has had trouble there too.
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I haven’t disconnected from my child and never will. He still lives with me. I was referring to my ex disconnecting from him. All my time is spent thinking of my son, not my ex. I was just wondering how anybody else handles this.

my son ran away 7 years ago What should i do
My son ran away 7 years ago?
7 years ago my son ran away with his girlfriend at 16. They have been best friends since preschool. When they were 16, i caught them having sex and drinking alcohol. so i kicked her out of the house. about a few hours later, the girlfriends parents called saying there daughter ran away. that was the last time i heard from them. seven years later my daughter started yelling at me saying that my brother and his girlfriend are on tv. my son was on tv as a LAPD detective and with his girlfriend, as his wife. i just dont understand how my son could get married and and become a police detective and being a alcoholic without my input. i just dont think he is ready for such a change and i think i still need to care for him, hes still my son.

i dont care if you believe this or not,it is true, i just want som advice should i trace him and surprise him, he left at 16, and i feel i should try to still raise him. I called the girlfriends parents and they started crying thinking they will never see there baby girl again, because of my son being a cop and her husbend.
i know it was him, because his name was on the screen

i dont think my son is old enough to be a detective in LAPD and have a gun with all the crime. I dont think he is old enough to mary a girl and have those feelings for someone and i dont think he is old enough to support a wife and take care of her. what should i do about the wifes parents, because they are scard they will never see there little girl again, because of her husbend.

arent good but he doesnt know how bad…his real dad doesnt help except to get him every-other weekend which is fine with me because I have always did it on my own & he is an alcoholic..But now my son has desided that he is ok with his grades & he is ok with getting barely by as long as he passes…I dont know how to get him motivated again & should I involve his step-dad?? His is a wonderful man & they get along GREAT I just dont want them to start not getting along…that would be horrible..

I could use his truck (we are looking to buy one now) as leverage but I really dont want to have to threating him..
Any suggestions?? I am at a lost & very confused with my sons attitude—–

He is 15 & in the 9th grade….
Oh PLEASE….it is not me failing, you really are rude!!
Thank you guys ! I will try these tacktics…he is a good boy & has a great mind & YES I will be talking to my husband..like I said he has an idea but he lets me handle the kids & knows I willl come to him a crunch. Tutor sounds like a good idea! You guys are right it is time to make this a family matter…
I get NO Child support & he doesnt even cover insurance,lunch,clothes,school supplies or NOTHING!!
Its ok BillieB everyone has there own opinions & this is a touchy subject…especially for kids..
Great, yall have help me make my mind up time for a family meeting…I have got to figure out what has changed in that boys mind…& I am going to email his teachers (again) to set up some extra classes & or tutoring…THANK YALL sooo much …it is going to be really hard to pick a best answer!!!

My son in a alcoholic, is there any drugs in tablet form so that he can give away drinking. He is not a easy person to go for advice or therapy, only choice is to give him tablets without his knowledge. Anyone can help me.

His mother was brought in and signed a statement admitting to marijuana use in the home and serving alcohol to a minor (her daughter not my step son) and child protective services told us we had to take him away pending investigation. Well, so far not charges have not been filed and CPS has yet to file a petition to have him removed from his mother…it’s been a week? No one will tell me how long before he can go home. He’s 16 and 1/2 years old and an honor student with finals coming up. I live in a different school district and it VERY difficult to keep running him back and forth. I’m worried his grade will suffer if he doesn’t get back to his routine. His mother isn’t a danger to him and I feel CPS is way overreacting…she has agreed to drug counseling beginning Tuesday but so far there is no legal paperwork preventing him from going home but we don’t want to make things worse. Everyone is in agreement that he needs to be home but CPS told me if we try to let him go home they will place him in foster care. His father and I find this entire situation stupid and it’s only harming my step son. He needs to sleep in his own bed at night and prepare for exams..why will nobody give us answers? How long does it take for charges to be filed against his mother? Why hasn’t a petition been filed…? How can they prevent my step son from seeing his own mother. If he was a baby and she was stoned that’s one thing but he’s 18 months away from18, doesn’t smoke,drink, A+ student, excels in sports and this is messing him up..even the officer doesn’t think he should be pulled from the home! doesn’t anyone have advice? A lawyer won’t help because charges and petitions haven’t been filed and CPS won’t answer my questions about the future?

My son is 14 and he is a very good boy, but I worry because I know how young I was when temptations started. (to smoke pot, drink, etc.) He has ADD and things aren’t always a breeze for him, so I am afraid he will turn to drugs at some point. I tell him often (without nagging) to wait until he is 21 to decide whether or not to drink and he seems to listen. I heard that alcohol affects the development of the frontal lobe of the brain, so I remind him from time to time that he is just so much better off without it. I also don’t want to seem like I am preaching. I am a waitress and I have tended bar, so he knows I am not anti-alcohol. I just want him to make age-appropriate decisions. If anyone has any added incentive for kids to stay abstinate, please let me know. Thanks!

Getting pregnant by an illegal alien who is married to someone else and having a baby out of wedlock when he is not even around, or smoking a joint? I’m the one who smoked a joint by the way, and I’ve always been considered the bad guy by my stepmother, this other girl’s mother. I think my stepmother has been abusive to me for many years because I smoked a joint. Big deal, I tried drugs, didn’t like them and quit many years ago. I thought I was normal like many people. My stepmother is a bigot and doesn’t think so. She came from an alcoholic family when she remarried my father and is always pointing the finger because I smoked a joint. But her daughter is perfect. I think my stepmother is mean. Her son smoked weed and it was fine for him to smoke weed! She’s a bigot.

Sorry if my problem sounds lame, but my son got a hold of my PSP and got some paint on it. So, I stupidly sprayed a crap load of glass cleaner on the front, and I guess it got on the inside of the PSP because it has the pink mark behind the battery cover now….And when I try to charge it, the orange light blinks once and nothing happens. Anybody have any ideas or what Sony might be able to do about it ( I have custom firmware too) ??? I let it dry for about three days with the battery out…but no luck. Can anybody relate or any advice would help. Do you think pouring alcohol in it would do anything? Thanks.

still don’t get any answers?
i am totally at a loss here people, without going into the personal aspects of every second of every day i’m alive, i need to give some clarification because i have some serious issues here i’m dealing with, and i need my friends to help me as much as you can, ok so here goes:
i need to know how YOU really feel about tough love, good or bad, i have an alcoholic son, who is getting more and more violent with everyone, should i practice tough love and kick him out to flounder, poss find his own way ,or does that make me a bad mom? be honest please, i feel guilty enough, so if you feel the need to chastise me feel free!♥
now, my Q’s about bi-polar disorder…..if anyone who can help me figure out if all this past year has possibly set me on an emotional Rollmaster, or could i have something else wrong, any and all help is appreciated, then i could be able to further explain and understand for myself as well as for a future doctor for clarification!
thank you so very much for helping me, i’m so confused about so many issues, yet i love all of you, some have very close special places in my heat, and i rely on you every day!♥
thank you everyone, i spoke w/my doctor she assures me that with all the stress, and all the added stress that i am just experiecing normal highs and lows, she suggested talking w/a theripist, however she knows me quite well, and said she didn’t think i needed it, she gave me vitamins, a pep talk, and told me maybe it was time for hormone replacement teraphy or natural therapy, pending blood tests!
thank you so much for all your support, and HARE, i have planted permanent sunshine in my soul, and it was my other son……thanks!♥

My son was honorably discharged from the USCG after a motorcycle accident involving alcohol. I know he was wrong but now they are doing an investigation a year after the fact and saying that due to his misconduct he should pay for his medical bills. He has not recovered mentally or physically and owns nothing. He connot afford an attorney and they will not provide him with one. I have two other sons that are Marines and they have never heard of anything like this. Can they reverse the honorable discharge? We just do not understand why they would do this. It seems like someone made a mistake a year ago and now they are trying to fix it. He was questioned initially, prior to discharge and signed away his right to an attorney eight weeks after severe head trauma. Is there anyone that can help us?
Navy Sailor, Thank you for your response. I fully understand that my son actions deserve punishment. The good thing is he knows also and expected to punished and or discharged but to be discharged and a year later have this issue come up. He never received counsel or rehab, those are the benefits our kids deserve when they sign up and put their lives on the line. I have two sons in Iraq and we are a very pro military. I am not a blind mother just think it should have been delt with prior to discharge.

I am planning my trip within India. I will be based from Ahmedabad. I want to know how is the journy thru Rajdhani express from Ahmedabad to New Delhi?

What are the difference in service between first class A/C and second class A/C?

What kind of food is served?

Do they serve alcohol? or I can take mine with permission?

Is it worth to travel by first class A/C? or second class A/C?

I want to take my teen age son to India and want to show him best of India.

Everytime i start ignoring him he starts looking for me when he knows i love him he ignores me again im an alcoholic thats the reason he left me i think he met someone else but it did not work out he is not seeing anyone he says his scare of me drinking again i know i hurt him but its killing me that his insicure of what he wants

She’s an adult and my mom has told her to get out several times. My mom sees how destructive she is when she leaves so she let her come back. The only problem is, she’s destructive here too. She’s extremely rude and starts fights with everyone. She has no respect for personal space or things and she brings alcohol into the house even though my mother told her not to. She smokes excessively then comes in with smoke clinging to her clothes and her son has asthma. Can I have her removed from the home and will her son have to go with her?

My son went to Canada for a seminar & one of his clients left him a bottle at the front desk. He didn’t know until he went home. The hotel says Fed Ex does not ship alcohol. they are willing to send if I can find someone who will do it.
thanks, Cindy
I checked DHL, no Alcohol shipped. Since 911 alot of shippers won’t do alcohol.

My husband & I have custody of his child that resulted from an on-night-stand that happened just before we met. We didn’t know about her until about a year ago. I know she needs me (her biomom is a meth-head) and I will take care of her. The problem is, I’m having problems with treating her totally different than my daughter. My husband tries to understand but ultimately thinks it’s not fair. My take on this is…I don’t mind to take care of her but I’m going to make 100% sure my daughter does not suffer because of it in any way.

P.S. We also have my step-son every other weekend, holidays & summer. He’s awesome and we couldn’t have a better relationship.

My daughter is 12, Step-son is 11, new step-daughter is 10.

Looking for comments/advise. Thanks

she is on the run from the law and may go to jail and is drug Addict on meth wat do i need to get my twin sons from there grandfather im the bilogical father and want my sons

She has been away from me for sometime. Now she’s home and I’ve found out that she works as a stripper at a nearby strip club. I’m afraid she may be an escort/prostitute as well. She’s out with a different guy almost each night. She is with me because she got evicted from another apartment. I have tried to tell her that stripping has gotten her nowhere. She can’t even hold housing for herself. She has also admitted to cocaine use. She’s too old for me to punish. How can I help her see how wrong it is for her to exploit herself. She laughs at a $300/wk regular job. Child Protection took her 4 yr old son 8 months ago because she sleeps till 1:00 p.m. and the child was unsupervised all the time. She says she loves him and want him back, but she won’t give up the cause of her problems: drugs, alcohol, stripping and whatever else she may be doing. Any advice?

I am with my oldest son now who is 18, the problem is my youngest son is 7 yrs old, he is with my ex husband in PA, I do not know what to do stay in MA or move to PA. I hate all this time being missed with my little one on the other hand I have my mom sisters oldest son here for support, what do you think you would do?