I live with my current husband, and we have a stable lifestyle. My son is currently on a joint custody arrangement. His real dad was arrested about 3 weeks ago on DUI w/child endangerment (my son was in the car, he is 4 years old), and other charges such as driving on a suspended license, probation violations related to a 2005 domestic violence charge against me, for which he never completed classes, etc………. I want to petition the court to grant me full custody, but I don’t know WHICH forms to fill out (any help for CA?) and also, what to say to my son?
I tried to tell him that daddy was “sick” and was getting some help (he is a 25+ year cocaine addict much more than alcohol) and my son asked “Is my daddy going to die?” and then every time he sees a cop now he asks “Are the police protecting my daddy?” as he knows they are there to “Protect the city”…………… my ex goes to court 11/20, but this is NOT his first stint, this is like his 3rd DUI (but I think only 2nd in 10 years so the other may have fallen off), and he has had a suspended license forever…………….
I am at the point where I want to get sole custody at LEAST, if not have him adopted by my current husband, but part of me wants to give his real dad one more chance. I’m just not sure how to explain to my son what it is that is going on and why daddy is not around………….
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Here is a short version of why i want this i have been raising my son for the past year and half his dad was in his life for the first 6 months and we split up his father was previously in prison before i thought he had changed he did… soo needless to say hes back in prison for 6-30 years for home invasion 1st degree.. i left him for the reasons:
alcoholic
druggie
verbal abuser
never worked or wanted to work
and he when we split up he lived 7 blocks away (WALKING DISTANCE) and never called or came to even see his son never even came to his first birthday most important one of all hes never been there for him always was mean to him, always but his habits before his son soooooooooo glad i got ride of him for me but more for my son. he don’t need to be around that…. but the judge is going to ask me why i want his last name changed to mine and i need to know how to word it and sound very intelligent..i am but im not good at wording things. can you help me?
My son is 13 and his dad has never had an interest in him until here recently. The only reason he is showing interest now is because my son is old enough to sit down and play video games with him. That is exactly what his dad said to me when I asked. His dad is a total loser. He is an alcoholic. He is 30 and lives at home with his parents. His parents are pill heads and neither work. They sit at home on disability and pop pills all day and night and eat. They baby my son’s dad like he’s 2 again. I also have a child who is mixed (black and white) and when my son goes to his dad’s house, his dad teaches him racial slurs to use against my other son without saying the “n” word. I have tried explaining to my son what these words mean and he refuses to understand that and thinks it’s funny. His dad doesn’t work and sits and drinks beer and pops pills that his parents give him when they have extra ones. I am so fed up and don’t know what to do. There is no divorce (we were never married) decree saying that he has visitation rights. He has no rights. He pays child support when he gets his unemployment or when he actually works. He never does anything for my son. No Xmas, no birthday presents..nothing. My son only wants to go over there to play games on his dad’s computer. He throws it in my face when I tell him no he can’t go over there that he wants to see his daddy. His dad also has been trying to talk him into coming to live with him once he’s 14 so that he can claim him on taxes. His dad is a selfish convicted felon who only wants to stir up trouble for me. He should be ashamed b/c he’s never been there and I’ve raised our son all by myself and he only wants money. He complains about having to pay child support and has been to jail several times for not paying. He says I ruined his life by having our son and I am the root of all his problems. He bad mouths me to our son when he’s there. I don’t know what to do. His family is very vindictive and when I don’t let him come over they try and cause trouble for me. His dad’s mom has even went as far to call Family Children Services on me and lie. The case was dismissed b/c it wasn’t validated and was proven to be false. I don’t know what to do. It’s always a big fight with my son and I. I have tried talking to his dad about all this, but he just laughs and doesn’t see that it matters. What should I do???
I wish I could move. I am a single mother. My close family lives here too. My work is here. I am just about in tears over this and I’m so damn sick of all this. I wish I could go back in time and pick someone else to have had my child with, but I was young and so was his dad. I am the one who grew up and provided a good life for my kids and take care of them. If I don’t let him go, they will make crap up and cause me trouble. They have done it before and try to make me look bad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have money for a lawyer.
Well, of course my child’s safety is my 1st priority. His father is an active alcoholic and drug addict. His father is an open racist(my son has a half black brother living in our home with us). His grandparents who live in the same home as his dad are also drug addicts. So you think I should just let my 13 year old son go there just b/c he wants to? No. My child does not need to be around that, even if it is at his dad’s house. Hell no.
My son is 13 and his dad has never had an interest in him until here recently. The only reason he is showing interest now is because my son is old enough to sit down and play video games with him. That is exactly what his dad said to me when I asked. His dad is a total loser. He is an alcoholic. He is 30 and lives at home with his parents. His parents are pill heads and neither work. They sit at home on disability and pop pills all day and night and eat. They baby my son’s dad like he’s 2 again. I also have a child who is mixed (black and white) and when my son goes to his dad’s house, his dad teaches him racial slurs to use against my other son without saying the “n” word. I have tried explaining to my son what these words mean and he refuses to understand that and thinks it’s funny. His dad doesn’t work and sits and drinks beer and pops pills that his parents give him when they have extra ones. I am so fed up and don’t know what to do. There is no divorce (we were never married) decree saying that he has visitation rights. He has no rights. He pays child support when he gets his unemployment or when he actually works. He never does anything for my son. No Xmas, no birthday presents..nothing. My son only wants to go over there to play games on his dad’s computer. He throws it in my face when I tell him no he can’t go over there that he wants to see his daddy. His dad also has been trying to talk him into coming to live with him once he’s 14 so that he can claim him on taxes. His dad is a selfish convicted felon who only wants to stir up trouble for me. He should be ashamed b/c he’s never been there and I’ve raised our son all by myself and he only wants money. He complains about having to pay child support and has been to jail several times for not paying. He says I ruined his life by having our son and I am the root of all his problems. He bad mouths me to our son when he’s there. I don’t know what to do. His family is very vindictive and when I don’t let him come over they try and cause trouble for me. His dad’s mom has even went as far to call Family Children Services on me and lie. The case was dismissed b/c it wasn’t validated and was proven to be false. I don’t know what to do. It’s always a big fight with my son and I. I have tried talking to his dad about all this, but he just laughs and doesn’t see that it matters. What should I do???
I wish I could move. I am a single mother. My close family lives here too. My work is here. I am just about in tears over this and I’m so damn sick of all this. I wish I could go back in time and pick someone else to have had my child with, but I was young and so was his dad. I am the one who grew up and provided a good life for my kids and take care of them. If I don’t let him go, they will make crap up and cause me trouble. They have done it before and try to make me look bad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have money for a lawyer.
Well, of course my child’s safety is my 1st priority. His father is an active alcoholic and drug addict. His father is an open racist(my son has a half black brother living in our home with us). His grandparents who live in the same home as his dad are also drug addicts. So you think I should just let my 13 year old son go there just b/c he wants to? No. My child does not need to be around that, even if it is at his dad’s house. Hell no.
My son is 13 and his dad has never had an interest in him until here recently. The only reason he is showing interest now is because my son is old enough to sit down and play video games with him. That is exactly what his dad said to me when I asked. His dad is a total loser. He is an alcoholic. He is 30 and lives at home with his parents. His parents are pill heads and neither work. They sit at home on disability and pop pills all day and night and eat. They baby my son’s dad like he’s 2 again. I also have a child who is mixed (black and white) and when my son goes to his dad’s house, his dad teaches him racial slurs to use against my other son without saying the “n” word. I have tried explaining to my son what these words mean and he refuses to understand that and thinks it’s funny. His dad doesn’t work and sits and drinks beer and pops pills that his parents give him when they have extra ones. I am so fed up and don’t know what to do. There is no divorce (we were never married) decree saying that he has visitation rights. He has no rights. He pays child support when he gets his unemployment or when he actually works. He never does anything for my son. No Xmas, no birthday presents..nothing. My son only wants to go over there to play games on his dad’s computer. He throws it in my face when I tell him no he can’t go over there that he wants to see his daddy. His dad also has been trying to talk him into coming to live with him once he’s 14 so that he can claim him on taxes. His dad is a selfish convicted felon who only wants to stir up trouble for me. He should be ashamed b/c he’s never been there and I’ve raised our son all by myself and he only wants money. He complains about having to pay child support and has been to jail several times for not paying. He says I ruined his life by having our son and I am the root of all his problems. He bad mouths me to our son when he’s there. I don’t know what to do. His family is very vindictive and when I don’t let him come over they try and cause trouble for me. His dad’s mom has even went as far to call Family Children Services on me and lie. The case was dismissed b/c it wasn’t validated and was proven to be false. I don’t know what to do. It’s always a big fight with my son and I. I have tried talking to his dad about all this, but he just laughs and doesn’t see that it matters. What should I do???
I wish I could move. I am a single mother. My close family lives here too. My work is here. I am just about in tears over this and I’m so damn sick of all this. I wish I could go back in time and pick someone else to have had my child with, but I was young and so was his dad. I am the one who grew up and provided a good life for my kids and take care of them. If I don’t let him go, they will make crap up and cause me trouble. They have done it before and try to make me look bad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have money for a lawyer.
Well, of course my child’s safety is my 1st priority. His father is an active alcoholic and drug addict. His father is an open racist(my son has a half black brother living in our home with us). His grandparents who live in the same home as his dad are also drug addicts. So you think I should just let my 13 year old son go there just b/c he wants to? No. My child does not need to be around that, even if it is at his dad’s house. Hell no.
How can I explain to my son that I don’t want him going to his dad’s because he’s a bad influence?
My son is 13 and his dad has never had an interest in him until here recently. The only reason he is showing interest now is because my son is old enough to sit down and play video games with him. That is exactly what his dad said to me when I asked. His dad is a total loser. He is an alcoholic. He is 30 and lives at home with his parents. His parents are pill heads and neither work. They sit at home on disability and pop pills all day and night and eat. They baby my son’s dad like he’s 2 again. I also have a child who is mixed (black and white) and when my son goes to his dad’s house, his dad teaches him racial slurs to use against my other son without saying the “n” word. I have tried explaining to my son what these words mean and he refuses to understand that and thinks it’s funny. His dad doesn’t work and sits and drinks beer and pops pills that his parents give him when they have extra ones. I am so fed up and don’t know what to do. There is no divorce (we were never married) decree saying that he has visitation rights. He has no rights. He pays child support when he gets his unemployment or when he actually works. He never does anything for my son. No Xmas, no birthday presents..nothing. My son only wants to go over there to play games on his dad’s computer. He throws it in my face when I tell him no he can’t go over there that he wants to see his daddy. His dad also has been trying to talk him into coming to live with him once he’s 14 so that he can claim him on taxes. His dad is a selfish convicted felon who only wants to stir up trouble for me. He should be ashamed b/c he’s never been there and I’ve raised our son all by myself and he only wants money. He complains about having to pay child support and has been to jail several times for not paying. He says I ruined his life by having our son and I am the root of all his problems. He bad mouths me to our son when he’s there. I don’t know what to do. His family is very vindictive and when I don’t let him come over they try and cause trouble for me. His dad’s mom has even went as far to call Family Children Services on me and lie. The case was dismissed b/c it wasn’t validated and was proven to be false. I don’t know what to do. It’s always a big fight with my son and I. I have tried talking to his dad about all this, but he just laughs and doesn’t see that it matters. What should I do??? I also might add that I have asked his dad to just come to my house and visit with our son, so that I know none of this stuff is going on when I’m not around..of course he refuses to do that.
Lish Lee..you are wrong. NO judge would put my son in his dad’s home. His dad is an active alcoholic and drug addict. He is an open racist who is teaching my son to hate his brother b/c he’s half black. So all of you saying I should let my son make up his own mind and let him go…are you insane? Hell no.
His dad DOES drink around him and is teaching him horrible things to say to his mixed brother! One time when his dad brought him home, he came into the house and I smelled beer on him…He had been drinking and actually drove my son home! So you guys really think I should let my kid go around this? His dad is too immature to see that this is wrong and doesn’t care and doesn’t stop doing the things I’ve asked when he’s around my son.
His dad does not have any rights. I have at least found that out with a lawyer. My son is NOT legitimized. If he were, then his dad could possibly get visitation, but as it is now, he can’t.
I don’t understand why people always say that just b/c he’s the dad means he automatically has rights to see him. That is not true. I am 100% the Custodial parent. No questions asked. Unless his father takes me to court and legally legitimizes him and asks for visitation, then he has no say. Which he doesn’t have the money to do that, he spends it on video games and beer and pot.
mrs cook: understand this…I was young and stupid when I dated his dad. I didn’t know he was gonna turn out like this. Don’t you think if I knew that I wouldn’t have dated him? You’re an idiot and you have no right answering my question. I have 2 kids and am not ever having anymore. I love them more than life. But I did make a stupid decision when I dated their dads. But that is something that is in my past and I am raising my kids to be good upstanding citizens with the respect for women that their sorry dad’s didn’t have. So shut your mouth and go away.
Hey grave 4 whatever you name is…Have you not read what I wrote? His father IS a danger to him. And no, a judge has not decided that his dad has the right to visit him. But through the state it has been decided that the Least he could do is help out a little financially since he ran off and left and didn’t want to have anything to do with my son.
Edit: Choice 4….not “grave”…let me tell you something…This loser father was only ordered to pay $25 a week in child support because he switches from job to job to avoid paying it. He doesn’t have any money. So how can I just want money from him? You’re an idiot. I gave him every opportunity to be his dad, and he didn’t want to be. Told me he didn’t love him and didn’t want to be his dad. so why don’t you kiss off? Now that he’s showing interest, he’s a damn drug addict!
Choice 4 again…He’s not paying me anything right now, so I can’t give him back what he’s not paying. I don’t have anything to do with his dad. I don’t talk to him. I have done so much for him in the past to try and help him get ahead. When he was homeless, I let him live with me. When he was hungry, I fed him. I have done everything that is humanly possible to help this man be a good person and have bent over backwards to have a decent relationship with him. He doesn’t care. I will not befriend him anymore. Enough is enough. He has problems he needs to attend to before trying to be a role model for our son. My son does know he’s a drunk. My son does know what drug addicts his dad and grandparents are, but he likes going there b/c they let him get away with murder and feed him bacon by the pound. I have tried to remedy this situation by talking with all of them. They are in another dimension. And nothing sinks through their redneck skulls.
OH…did I forget to add that he had 2 more children after I had my son and he doesn’t have anything to do with them either. Yeah. I keep in touch with the other kids mom and am friends with them so our children can know each other. Not the doings of his dad.
I am sitting here at the entrance way to Wal Mart making a fortune. I awoke this morning and my business skills ejected out of me like a roman candle. While Shopping for butter and Nair last night it dawned on me. Milk and Bread. This town needs more milk and bread. Theres snow in the forecast, plus most everyone loves, or is in love with milk and bread. For some reason, at the first sign of freezing rain or snow, old people around the globe spring to life, ready there check books ,and consume every last drop of cow juice and bread. I dont understand it,but im gonna profit off this lame stab at reversing old man winter.
I arrived at wally world this morning at 4am. I drug five shopping carts at once to the last isle. This is where I hear they keep the ever elusive whole milk. I want to focus on milk first because years of shopping has taught me to never put the bread under the milk.
I repeat, NEVER PUT THE BREAD UNDER THE MILK. This is not common sense, but a survival skill that cant be taught. You either have it or ya dont. Thankfully I ran into a cousin of mine that works at Wal Mart. His name is Danny Joe. Some of you may remember Danny from the Branch Dravidian reenactment. He was the guy mixing the poisoned kool-aid. He also was responsible for bring that Divine green bean casserole. He’s very religious. Religious people understand the milk and bread theory. They invented it. This is their bag, not mine. I purchase every last drop of whole cow juice they had, and made my way to the bread. I jammed 100 loaves of bread into my cart, purchased the junk, held some baby’s, shook some hands, and began setting up my booth outside Wal Marts entrance. I sold Milk for 10 dollars a gallon, and bread for 5 bucks a pop. Many people were pissed off, but what could they do. Did they wanna starve, or freeze to death from lack of milk and bread. No way Jose. They conformed, and spent there savings like and good christian would do. This is not to say my booth ran like a well oiled machine. A hour ago a elderly lady wrapped her pale tentacles around my throat, cussed me, and pissed her pants. She blamed me for wetting herself, and Im sure I looked guilty. It hurt my sales. I had one woman give me her child. She said “sir, I cant afford these prices, why is it so high.” “terrorist” i said ” terrorist are converging on our live stock and yeast deposits, Its drove prices sky high, I work for the FBI, They planted me here to make sure the citizens of american get their milk and bread”. “Well, all I have is 10 dollars” she said. ” you give me the ten dollars and that malnourished kid you got there, and I’ll hook you up with 2 gallons of cow juice an a loaf of Sara Lee.” How does that sound you penny pinching bitch” “my kid”she said. “yes, your first born will do fine” “look” i said. “I dont have all the time in the world” “without milk and bread all these Christians behind you will die from exposure.” “now, you wont be giving me your kid, you’ll be giving the little tike to the united states of American.” We’ll train the little devil to become a fighter pilot or milk and bread salesman like me” ” not a bed wetter or a walking digestive system like he’ll turn out if you continue with him” “OK, I guess your right” she said ” of course I am” And just like that I received my first illegal teeny bopper. She seem to have no real problem giving him up. She seemed relieved and proud her son would be a man of the state. A devotee to the betterment of human kind. Though, in reality, in the morning I plan on sending him to the Hell’s Angel corporate office in Santa Barbara California. You can get good money for blond headed children on the black market. It wont be that bad. He’ll probably end up in some coastal city in Asia toiling away in some dank factory. A good life experience. He’ll thank me one day.
Some people aren’t as luck as us. They might go without the essential dose of cow juice and bread. Blankets are not enough when flakes fall from the sky. The wood in the stove is meaningless unless your head first into a glass of whole milk. Bury your face and pray for bread ladies and gentlemen. The fat is in the fire, but what does this mean without milk or bread. It means your days are numbered. It means you should lie, cheat, and steal. Its means death without milk and bread. This could be the last thing you ever read. I beg each and everyone of you to go out and place your order for bread and milk. The very fabric and hemline of your soul depends on it. Go now. Go forth, like the wind my little ponies.–
we have custody of our nephew now for 6 yrs. his mother is a heroine addict and his father is not only on drugs, but he is a theif, constantly in and out of jail. we have been in counseling for a few years but the nephew just doesnt understand why his parents arent around.
He is 17 years old and has just completed senior secondary school
I know that I have a chemical balance which makes drinking alcohol inadvisable for me. I consider myself a recovered alcoholic. The worst times of my life were when I drank and my father was exactly the same. At what age should I explain to my son that he’s likely to have the same problem?
