How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My 2 year old son’s dad and I have never have been married. We’ve lived together for 4 years, even after breaking up, thinking that parenting & money would be easier living together. As of this past weekend, I made a decision to move out in September. This is something dad agrees with, & supports. We both know the fighting has gone on too long.The problem is that dad is a drunk. He lives for alcohol & doesn’t care who his lifestyle affects. He comes home drunk from work (or anywhere, really) on a regular basis, even when he promises each night not to. He can get physical & violent (not in front of our son, this always happens after midnight, so he’s in bed). I want out of this sooner, but I can’t move before my new roommate is free of her lease in Sept. Is there something I can do legally? I’m tired of his alcoholic lifestyle & he doesn’t recognize his problem. And I know he’ll lie if accused of anything. He’s even threatened to lie if in court. I need help. I need to protect my son
We have no shared bank accounts, and I have a house full of my belongings and a situation that doesn’t allow for a “transition home” or anything like that. I have parents that will help, if needed. But I have to maintain my life while making this change. I have an awesome job and I can’t neglect that either.
I can’t just “leave”. Til September, I have nowhere to go, and a “shelter” won’t be happening. His mother is visiting this weekend and I don’t think she has a clue that his drinking is this out of hand, but I’m sure as heck going to tell her.
I appreciate all the advice so far, but I can’t see anything that would work yet. Isn’t there sometime I can do to force HIM out? If I leave, I’m leaving him with all my stuff and I can’t do that. My family is in another state, so this could get complicated, I don’t have local family to help me out. I just thought maybe I could get some sort of order for him to move out or something, and then I could maybe get some assistance to help pay the $900 rent for the next 2 months, or ask my parents.
The lease is in both nof our names. And as of June 1, we’re not on a lease, come to think of it. So I’m not sure what that means.

I’m not “tattling” to his mom, I just need for her to stop seeing me as the whiney, annoying party and him as a drunk. He never does it in front of her, she lives 400 miles away, we barely ever see her.

And I can’t just move. I know it’s hard to understand, it’s even harder to explain. But this is 2 levels of a home ful of my stuff, and everything is unorganized. All my picture proof of anything is on a broken laptop, etc etc. It’s a sticky situation.

My 2 year old son’s dad and I have never have been married. We’ve lived together for 4 years, even after breaking up, thinking that parenting & money would be easier living together. As of this past weekend, I made a decision to move out in September. This is something dad agrees with, & supports. We both know the fighting has gone on too long.The problem is that dad is a drunk. He lives for alcohol & doesn’t care who his lifestyle affects. He comes home drunk from work (or anywhere, really) on a regular basis, even when he promises each night not to. He can get physical & violent (not in front of our son, this always happens after midnight, so he’s in bed). I want out of this sooner, but I can’t move before my new roommate is free of her lease in Sept. Is there something I can do legally? I’m tired of his alcoholic lifestyle & he doesn’t recognize his problem. And I know he’ll lie if accused of anything. He’s even threatened to lie if in court. I need help. I need to protect my son
We have no shared bank accounts, and I have a house full of my belongings and a situation that doesn’t allow for a “transition home” or anything like that. I have parents that will help, if needed. But I have to maintain my life while making this change. I have an awesome job and I can’t neglect that either.
I can’t just “leave”. Til September, I have nowhere to go, and a “shelter” won’t be happening. His mother is visiting this weekend and I don’t think she has a clue that his drinking is this out of hand, but I’m sure as heck going to tell her.
I appreciate all the advice so far, but I can’t see anything that would work yet. Isn’t there sometime I can do to force HIM out? If I leave, I’m leaving him with all my stuff and I can’t do that. My family is in another state, so this could get complicated, I don’t have local family to help me out. I just thought maybe I could get some sort of order for him to move out or something, and then I could maybe get some assistance to help pay the $900 rent for the next 2 months, or ask my parents.
The lease is in both nof our names. And as of June 1, we’re not on a lease, come to think of it. So I’m not sure what that means.

I’m not “tattling” to his mom, I just need for her to stop seeing me as the whiney, annoying party and him as a drunk. He never does it in front of her, she lives 400 miles away, we barely ever see her.

And I can’t just move. I know it’s hard to understand, it’s even harder to explain. But this is 2 levels of a home ful of my stuff, and everything is unorganized. All my picture proof of anything is on a broken laptop, etc etc. It’s a sticky situation.

he has drunk alcohol before, but not a lot and never got drunk… so the argument is for
2 sex on the beach
1 Mojito
1 breezer
1 smirnoff ice
1 vodka orange

he had all that in a row last night and claims that he didn’t get drunk… what do u think?
no im not a troll :s and i didn’t let him drink all that, i was lucky to have a friend of his tell me what happened because i worried when he came home laughing and acting drunk

A perfect storm of disaster has just occurred in my marriage.

My wife is a bit younger than me (she’s 37), and is EASILY considered the more attractive one of us (and im not ugly by any stretch) – So I’ve always had these insecurities, but they had never even come close to coming true, and we have a 15 year old son. Pretty much a great marriage.

2 Days before this occurred I went off on a business trip meant to last 4 days.

The night before I was scheduled to come home, she tells me she was going to have a girl’s night out (our son and his friend who would spend the night). Which was fine by me, as that had always involved just watching a chick flick with her friends.

This time however unbeknown to me they had decided to go out drinking.

I’m still trying to gather everything that went on but here is so far what I’ve more or less confirmed:

-The group’s 25yr old grad student friend took them to a frat party.

-Binge drinking ensued, and she’s never EVER held her alcohol well.

-She suggested that the people there (30 or so) move the party to a local club 2 miles away, because they’d all get in without much hassle since (my) cousin and (my) close friend both co-own the club.

-When at the club, (supposedly) even heavier drinking continued.

- the bar screen has a the Yankee-Redsox game in extra innings. The guys were all sox fans and decided to propose that if the yankees won, the guys would all strip down, but if the redsox won, the girls would all go topless. The girls agreed.

-The Redsox won the game (4/24/09′s game), and that’s when things really got crazy. Most of the girls out right refused and never meant it seriously anyway. One girl went down to her bra. – My wife was last to go, again making things worse as now more and more of the hundreds (maybe thousands, as its a REALLY big place and the only one near our town)- And she apparently didn’t hesistate to take her shirt off while dancing.

-Apparently everyone then started prodding her to go further and started commenting on the size of her breasts (they are very large, and before this incident used to be on of my favorite features of her), this apparently made her loss all her inhibition and she started dancing like some stripper and threw her bra clean off.

-As insane as this all was, apparently that was just the start, as guys tried to put money in her and get close to her and grope her, she apparently fed off the attention and went all the way down down to her thong, and then completely naked while dancing on a table infront of everyone!

She was eventually told to get off the table. She put her underwear back on (no bra at this point as apparently she flung it too far into the mob) and was apparently very heavily gropped throughout all of this by what my estimate was at least 40 different guys, many of which it turns out are actually loose acquaintances of us or our families.

She continued to drink and do all she was dared to do by some of the frat guys, such as hook up with her girlfriends, or take bodyshots.

Eventually she got beyond drunk (guys kept buying her drinks), and told her friends she was going to go to the bathroom. Her friends finally noticed something was wrong when she hadn’t come back in over 20 minutes.

They looked and she wasn’t in the bathroom, but they did notice a strange amount of guys going to a side room. When they got in, she was passed out on the floor, spread out completely naked. The room was filled with at least 8 girls and 20 guys, 3 of which were bouncers, who ALL KNOW OUR SON. 2 of them are older brothers (that she used to babysit) to 2 of his best friends, and the third one is his phys ed teacher and wrestling coach.

She was being groped and fondled all over by several of them and one of them was preparing a condom. Her friends immediately bailed her out (though without any clothing whatsoever, it was all lost), and it remains unclear what occured before they got there. I’ve heard some very disturbing things that i suspect may be true.

One of her friends threw her into a cab and took her home. Apparently she woke up briefly around this time as she got out of the cab infront of our house, – and while still completely naked started making a seen which caused several of the neighbors entire families (2 of which are coworkers, that were some of the people that first informed me what went down) to look out side and see her standing nude. Several of the highschool and college kids that walk around at that time also saw her.

THANKFULLY our son was asleep, and my secretary that was babysitting my son and his friend let my drunken wife in.

She immediately rushed her to the bed and put a sheet on her while she went back to the kitchen to fetch alka seltzer and a bucket.

When she got back 5 minutes later, the nightmare gets worse. My son’s friend had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom and has was staring at her full bore. The sheet was off my wife (it’s n
The character limit cut off my question.

I still love her dearly, but I am humiliated and embarrassed and angry.

Part of me wants to leave her. Part of me wants to save our marriage even if this involves moving.

I dont know what to do. My heart is in conflict with my mind.
-edit # 2

I am most scared for my son, as I know how cruel highschool kids can be should they decide to reveal what they saw.

Ive already gotten an email with some pictures that are captioned with her full name and the town.

She has never done something like this before, and to my knowledge has always been faithful to the max.

Im getting more and more paranoid that something else happened though.

Thank you to those of you who are giving actual advice.
3rd edit-

When she was confronted she first tried out right denial, but the reason I know so many details is because many people unfortunately took pictures. Hence the email i received. She then tried to say that she didn’t remember, and she is ofcourse using the liquor as an excuse, but she is very apologetic.

I have set up marriage counseling but at this point I’m not even sure If im going to go.

Im again– afraid that no matter what happens our son will get hurt.

And finally, regarding what one very helpful reply said- Yes I am scared something like that did happen. If not penetration, then orally.

I can’t explain how much I love her and how good she’s always been, but I really don’t know anymore guys. Your advice so far has been very helpful though. – thank you.
edit-4

After reading some of the harsher remarks, I guess another thing that is bothering me is this:

I was basically the only person she was ever intimate with. Some people thought she was just a trophy wife at first but we’ve always been so close for such a long time.

I feel as if now that is cheapened with what these others men got to see and do. She was never even remotely like this even when we were dating. Always took it slow, so I feel like she isn’t as exclusive now.

Do you guys think that if I decide to stay with her that I have to move? we’ll be bumping into some of these people a lot. Thanks for the feedback guys. I’m still heart broken.

My 2 year old son’s dad and I have never have been married. We’ve lived together for 4 years, even after breaking up, thinking that parenting & money would be easier living together. As of this past weekend, I made a decision to move out in September. This is something dad agrees with, & supports. We both know the fighting has gone on too long.The problem is that dad is a drunk. He lives for alcohol & doesn’t care who his lifestyle affects. He comes home drunk from work (or anywhere, really) on a regular basis, even when he promises each night not to. He can get physical & violent (not in front of our son, this always happens after midnight, so he’s in bed). I want out of this sooner, but I can’t move before my new roommate is free of her lease in Sept. Is there something I can do legally? I’m tired of his alcoholic lifestyle & he doesn’t recognize his problem. And I know he’ll lie if accused of anything. He’s even threatened to lie if in court. I need help. I need to protect my son
We have no shared bank accounts, and I have a house full of my belongings and a situation that doesn’t allow for a “transition home” or anything like that. I have parents that will help, if needed. But I have to maintain my life while making this change. I have an awesome job and I can’t neglect that either.
I can’t just “leave”. Til September, I have nowhere to go, and a “shelter” won’t be happening. His mother is visiting this weekend and I don’t think she has a clue that his drinking is this out of hand, but I’m sure as heck going to tell her.
I appreciate all the advice so far, but I can’t see anything that would work yet. Isn’t there sometime I can do to force HIM out? If I leave, I’m leaving him with all my stuff and I can’t do that. My family is in another state, so this could get complicated, I don’t have local family to help me out. I just thought maybe I could get some sort of order for him to move out or something, and then I could maybe get some assistance to help pay the $900 rent for the next 2 months, or ask my parents.
The lease is in both nof our names. And as of June 1, we’re not on a lease, come to think of it. So I’m not sure what that means.

I’m not “tattling” to his mom, I just need for her to stop seeing me as the whiney, annoying party and him as a drunk. He never does it in front of her, she lives 400 miles away, we barely ever see her.

And I can’t just move. I know it’s hard to understand, it’s even harder to explain. But this is 2 levels of a home ful of my stuff, and everything is unorganized. All my picture proof of anything is on a broken laptop, etc etc. It’s a sticky situation.

My brother if a definate long time alcoholic. my son is a regular 13 year old trying to be cool with his uncle. It happened in my house while I was sleeping and the women were watching tv. apparently 2 glasses of wine and a beer earlier, but thats all it takes for me.

Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 7 years and have been together for 2 of them we have an 9 month old son as well. Now me and my boyfriend has had our arguments and have even fought but not like this night im about to tell u about.

Me and my boyfriend had been having problems for about 2 weeks i would stay gone n we would not sleep in the same bed when i got home.
Now on a saturday i left and later on that night at like 1 or 2 a.m. i get a phone call sayin that my boyfriend was super drunk had lost his phone and was tryin to drive so i went to go get him and told him to let me take him home he told me no and started yelling at me which turned to him pushing me hard to the ground in the parking lot and then we started fighting and i stopped and he kept coming at me dragging me by my hair banging my head to the ground stomping me punching me…everything and then he was sent to detox i did not press charges.

Now the next day i packed my shit and was ready to go but he got home early he tried to kiss me and i moved away he said whats wrong and i was like you dont know and he said that he did not remember i explained to him what had happened in detail of how he beat me and he could not believe it. I told him that me and his son was leaving and he started begging for me to stay and not to go and crying this went on for 2 hours he said that he promise never to do it again and that he made a huge mistake and that he would be better. Then he started talking about getting engaged and how much he love me and need me and for me to give him another chance i told him i already have several times he said that he knows but for me to please give him one more….

I know this is long but should i really stay?

During communion the priest let my son drink alcoholic wine and he shortly after became inebriated.