How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My friend just got out of rehab for Suboxone and crack cocaine abuse about a month ago after checking in voluntarily having realized he needed help (Suboxone was the primary problem, the crack was just a drug he did in tandem with it.) . He’s been really good about staying away from both as well as the people who facilitate his abusive behavior so far. We’ve gone to the bars a few times since or had some beers at my place with no noticeable problems on his end about cravings. However, his father called me and told me I need to stop drinking with him entirely, for good, or he will do his best to separate the two of us; saying that as an addict the alcohol will lead him either back to those drugs or to alcoholism. We’re both 21 and college students so he’s not a minor that can be forcibly controlled by his parents, but in the same right his father is doing what he thinks he needs to to keep his son safe. I am skeptical about whether he really should never drink again, or whether his father is operating under the assumption that my friend is simply unable to control any of his behavior and, in doing so, being overprotective.

His father got the information about it from the former drug user that leads the family IOP meetings he attends having completed his voluntary rehabilitation. Unlike my friend who realized he had a problem before he ruined his life, this guy lost his family, friends, job, etc. and then went to rehab. He got out clean and sober and then relapsed one night after having 3 or so beers. So to me it seems like this person sees every member of his group as a worst case scenario of someone who hit rock bottom. I realize that he is talking from experience, but I also realize that not all drug users are the same, and that not all are so unable to control their impulses; seeing as how my friend has had a few drinks so far with no desire to relapse. However, his father takes every possible piece of advice in any context as applicable to his son’s own situation and demands that he not drink at all and that I refuse to drink with him entirely. Drinking is a bit of a ritual for us in that once or twice a month we get together and have a few beers down town or at one of our houses and just play video games or chat, so to stop entirely is completely possible, but not desirable on either end.

I’m just looking for professional advice or regular opinions on all this:

Is it true that no drug addict should drink after rehabilitation under any circumstances even if alcohol was never a problem for them?

If so, should they refrain from drinking for good or just take time away from it until their life is back in order?

Should I refuse to drink with him at all?

Am I in the wrong for thinking that he can drink without worrying about his former drug addiction?

All responses are greatly appreciated, thanks.

My son is 17, 10 days ago we found out he has some bad things going on…We still can figure out if it is Alcohol alone or also weed smoking. He gets in and out of house w/o telling us, he comes some days at 2-3 am or some days 10-11 pm. Has very changing moods. We took him to a drug place for a meeting & the “no so smart woman” there said we needed to listen to him, in front of his face, and they said they didnt need to run a drug test on him…so in other words, they made the parents look like jerks in front of the teenager.
I just came bk f/buss. trip & found out he has a ticket for consumpt. by a minor not driving though-he already went to judge to handle it, but he was hiding it f/us. I called court to find out details and they advised me he has handled it & has some condit’s to meet and $ to pay.
A/o last year has GPA 4.0 & 0 absent days. Anyone pls. can give serious advise as to what to do next, actions to take to get him out of this problem and bk on trk.
Dad & Mom lv w/him

I was just informed yesterday by the owner that the manager who lives on-site, is heavily involved with illegal drugs and his life is in danger. Also, the other night, the police were called twice to the apartments because of an alcohol/possibly drug/related disturbance. One of the manager’s intoxicated guests also approached my 16 year old son in a confrontational manner. I have four children and I feel their lives, as well as my own, could be in danger. I was told drug dealers are after the manager. I want to break my lease and move out, but I cant afford to get sued and have to pay the additional 4 months left on my lease if I do move out. Is this grounds for me to terminate my lease early?

My mother is on her 3rd marriage and this guy she ran off and married shortly after I have my son, didn’t tell anyone just went. He is very bad into marijuana and I know he takes some of her pain meds that she has for different illnesses. He has recently failed a drug test at work for pot and his son is constantly stealing from them and pawning things for cocaine. Since getting with this guy, my mother has alienated her family (I am 30, brother is 27 and we have another bro that is 16 and sis is 13) My oldest brother has 2 daughters and I have a son, all babies. My mom has given up custody of the younger 2 to live with their father b/c they don’t have room for them. They are even building a new house and it is only 2 bdr. This past weekend was my grandmothers 75th bday, it was a surprise party and they were all supposed to stay with us at our beach house. My mother and her husband kept going to their rv, we know so he could smoke and not sure what else, rumors are he is also known as a cokehead. My mom has always seemed to have a decent head on her shoulders, always wanted to party like she was 18 though. They took off, did not tell anyone bye, my brother was in town from DE and left yesterday, she had no decency to tell him bye or was glad to see him or anything. I know the husband has been verbally abusive but I wonder if she is doing drugs along w/him the way she has distanced from everything and alienated everyone but “his” friends. I just don’t know, i am so upset but I can’t handle constantly worrying if i am going to get a phone call that she is dead. From those with family members that have been addicts, please give me some signs.

so,im not here to recieve comments from flamers or wtv,I want suggestions and answers,so im 21,I got my own appartment and shit,my mom died from cancer 6months ago and it was really painful for her and for us,but now, well her and my father were separated for about 10yrs now,and my father is living somewhere else in a town nearby, were close still, he helps me repair stuff or wtv when I need help and he likes me pretty much as his son,but ive learned about 5years ago he was taking cocaine,I never thought that of him and he doesnt seem like a bad or stupid guy at all anyway,his girlfirend doesnt let him carry money cause HE does want to stop this and everybody around him does too,but now it makes about 3 – 4 times he harasses me at like 11pm – 1 am in the fucken week when i get school the morning after,he calls on phone standing in front of my fucken door and keeps talkin crap about he sold some stuff to buy cocaine now I want money (around 20 – 40$) to rebuy it or wtv,while hes high as fuck,i fuckin diss him everytime makes me wanna grab my machette and slice him off,but hes my father and hes real nice when hes not high on that fucken garbage, so I mean, I thought about calling the cops, about punching him n all but man seriously if that keeps happening Im really gonna do something and I dont care,but I want somebodys opinion. do Icall the cops for privacy harassment or wtv on my father? do I get out,try to make him understand,if he doesnt wanna understand shit cus he wants money and hes high,I kick and punch him ? i mean,i dont think he would ever punch me since im his son and mostly the only thing why hes alive right now,but what the fuck should I do,hes always telling me not to tell my grandfather or his girlfriend cause it would almost kill my grandfather if he learns that hes still falling to that shit,and his girlfriend would kick him out. INEED ANSWERS. thanks already really appreciated

I have been doing meth for 2 years now. I blame my problem on my mom whom I watched doing it till she went to prison. My dad is dead so I never had a role model growing up. I have stolen all my wifes jewelry just about and cashed in all my kids college bonds. I have flirted with life insurance my habit is so bad. I owe every black dope dealer money and now I am facing jail time for my charge 1 year ago. The doctors wont see me anymore cause of my abuse on drug perscription pills so I am faced having to get my oldest son to retrieve my medication. How do I turn life around?

My grandaughter was born June 05 with meth found in maconium. Parents had phsyical custody and State of NV having custody. They rec. custody just at deadline. In July 06 grandson born, again meth . CPS took custody placing them out of home & with me. CPS has plan for parents to follow & to be done by 7/07. were voted into drug court 12-15mos.. had 4-5 weeks in, fathers UA failed, arrested for 5 days. starts over with DC .CPS states to me: to think if I want to adopt .Don’t believe parents will make the deadline date.. (I ‘m 49, kids are 16 mo and 4 mo It has been a hard 4mos. Parents want me to then let them live with them.. I”M sure you can’t do that. I feel, I’m the one doing the WORK,some 0 nites sleep .0 LIFE., My man of 7 yrs has left.cuz of it all! They go do whatever , no clue what it takes for 2 kids 24/7. I LOVED JUST BEING GRANDMA ANY SUGGESTIONS? love my babies more than ever.also wonder if later theyhave prob from meth? the father is my son not 1 bit proud of

My new in laws are addicted to weed total alcaholics and the grandmother abuses prescription meds and sleeping pills while drinking heavily. I married my wife and have a step son now we decided to pull him away totally and have no contact. My wife is suffering separation Anxiety but my son seems to be doing fne. did we do the right thing? should we continue this separation? and also she and my new son lived with these people for 5 the childs whole life. he is 6 years and autistic

In case of my death, our son would go to my brother and his wife? Does he have to sign it also? Do we have to be divorced first?
He won’t get custody of our son. He shoots dope and drinks all day doesn’t work and hasn’t called my son in about 4 months. Hasn’t given us any money in about 9 months

….i know i will not pass the hair follicle but i will pass the urine….i have full custody rights to my son…. if i come up positive for cocaine… even if i don’t do it often does anyone know what will happen to me?????
first of all im not a bad parent i take great care of my son… i love him very much… i never do it around him …..it was one time when i was at a bar when my son was at his dads for the …. everyone make mistake im not perfect but i can tell u i get up with himeveryday feed him play with him care for him everyday and his sorry so called father only has him 4 days out of the month and he does things alot worst them me

i quit my bad habits when i learned i was pregnant and the babys father was suppose to too, but hasnt. he is a compulsive liar whose addicted to meth. i want my son to have the best upbringing, and in this world i believe that starts with a loving family, with both parents to guide him with unconditional love and stability.i dont want to raise my son without a father. ive always felt such a void growing up without one myself. watching my mom work constantly with very limited time to even get to know her kids. i regret being so naive. i dont want the babys father in my life and i refuse to let him be in my sons life. a man that will never love our son more than he loves meth. ive waited 7 months thru all his lies for him to get his life together and get off drugs, but now its getting close to my due date and i want to do whats best for my son. would like to find a loving couple that is interested in adopting my son. i need help. i dont know what steps to take

i quit my bad habits when i learned i was pregnant and the babys father was suppose to too, but hasnt. he is a compulsive liar whose addicted to meth. i want my son to have the best upbringing, and in this world i believe that starts with a loving family, with both parents to guide him with unconditional love and stability.i dont want to raise my son without a father. ive always felt such a void growing up without one myself. watching my mom work constantly with very limited time to even get to know her kids. i regret being so naive. i dont want the babys father in my life and i refuse to let him be in my sons life. a man that will never love our son more than he loves meth. ive waited 7 months thru all his lies for him to get his life together and get off drugs, but now its getting close to my due date and i want to do whats best for my son. would like to find a loving couple that is interested in adopting my son. i need help. i dont know what steps to take

My husband is on probation for meth (clean for 4 years now)..he thinks testing for pot is too expensive and that they won’t test for it because he hasn’t ever been in trouble with it. Also, he thinks if he does have a dirty test, that they will overlook it because he has a full time job, is taking care of me and our son (and soon to be daughter next week), and hasn’t been in any trouble with the law for 4 years. What do you think? This is in California by the way……….please answer if you know what is up with how testing/probation goes on and such……. thanks.
REMEMBER, IT IS PROBATION, NOT PAROLE.

What should my sister do with her son? He is an addict of alcohol and drugs. He is in rehab Again!!!! When he is home he causes absolute havoc. She has done everything from kicking him out to loving him. His back round is a normal working class family, with brothers and sisters that have turned out very well. He being to jail for drug related offences, that didnt work. He is 22 now, what hope does he have. I want advice for my sister and what she to do, to help herself, her husband and the rest of the family. What was once a hapy family is now in turmoil. He is a really nasty addict.
Category
Mr IQ, When is rock bottom, everytime he hits rock bottom, we were wrong. For the record my sister does not enable his addictions in anyway, finacially or otherwise.
Dina, Thanks, I will pass this on to her. Extreme perhaps, but at least he will see where he will end up. She has tried everything else.
Dina, Thanks, I will pass this on to her. Extreme perhaps, but at least he will see where he will end up. She has tried everything else.

We have an adorable 9 month old baby, he went into rehab by choice 2 weeks before I had our son, after 10 years of heavy cocaine and alcohol usage. He came home a totally different person, he used to be my best friend and now he barely talks to me about anything personal, he won’t tell me how he feels, all we talk about is the baby and the weather. He is completely detached from me and it breaks my heart, I want so badly to be there for him but he won’t let me, the only person he will talk to is his mother. I can’t go on like this, I don’t understand why, I think maybe he doesn’t want me to be a trigger, or that he is following the 12 step program rule that you should not be in a relationship for the first year of sobriety. 3 months away from his 1 year sober and I don’t think I can do it anymore I feel like a roomate not an equal partner. Help.

I have been married to my husband for almost 2 years, and we have a 6 month old son. When we first met, he was a great man, but he changed as soon as he found out that I was pregnant. He went from staying at home and being a husband, to hanging out at bars and clubs every weekend all hours of the night. We separated 2 weeks after our son was born. He lives with his mom, he has no job, and any money he gets he spends on alcohol and marijuana, not our son. I know we took our vows for better or worse, but I cannot deal with him. He says he never goes out, but he still hangs out with his “friend” every day. She drinks and smokes weed as much as he does, and she is 18. I don’t understand why he is even “friends” with her when he will be 36 years old next month. I am 28 years old by the way. What do I do? I gave him an ultimatum to either be there for me and our son and clean up his act and stop being friends with her, or we will no longer be a family. Did I do the right thing? And can I get a divorce because of it?
Also, his mom has kicked him out of the house twice, one time being last week and he is crying to me to help him. He even let his “friend” attack me when I told her to mind her business because my husband and I had an argument. I pressed charges against her and he sat there and did nothing. Instead he ran away from the incident and said that he doesn’t get in female conflicts.
He even let her use his phone to text and call me harrassing me, and I cursed her out and told her not to call me again. I am so tired of this.

I am a drug addict, and so is my husband, we have a 12 year old son I never used drugs or alcahol during pregnancy but never the less I believe children show signs of the “disease”at early ages and everyone wants to call it ADD and then give the child who is already more apt to use because of the hereditary factors, they want to give the child ridalin?? a narcotic?? Just what they need right I say wrong you may as well give the little hyper terd a big fat line of cocaine to start his day… I refuse to give that drug to my son…How many agree with any of this…Hyper kids just need more attention there is no magic pill that will fill a void only you as a parent can fill and ever met a kid that was on ridalin for years all through childhood?? I have and they have nowhere jobs and turned out “slow” that drug along with any controlled substance messes up the greatest minds of even adults, imagine what it does to a kids mind after time…If you dont want your kid burnt out …

I am going through a divorce and can not afford a lawyer, so please do not answer by telling me to get one. I can not afford it.
I recently came across a tape where my son, who was on cocaine, talked about my STBX being reprimanded to drug abuse counseling. They were seeing the same counselor as well as my husband seeing another one and both seeing the same mental health counselor.
My husband was put on Lexapro about 2 years ago. I just read that Lexapro is used to withdraw someone from cocaine. Google Lexapro and cocaine, not just Lexapro.
This is where it gets sticky. The judge sealed his record of conviction on physical abuse of me. The judge came under fire recently for shielding men from prosecution with a cop speaking up so long as his name was not used. The DA deflected the attack with legal double talk. No man has ever been convicted of rape or violence against women in my town that I can find.
How can I prove that my husband has an addiction to drugs without the cooperation of the law? I only have a week to do this in.
Our son is over 18 and lives with other guys. He has been spotted with known drug dealers on Feb.9 of this year.
As I stated, my STBX is on Lexapro and has been for 2 years that I know of. If he was on cocaine, all traces would be gone by now.
Other people here have heard local doctors talking about putting herione in vitamin shots to keep people coming in for more shots (these people would have no reason to fabricate such a thing) so I would not trust anything a doctor says here. I know of several people who have been given prescripts for pain killers for years and for no reason. This is a wealthy community and there are more than one “Dr. Feelgoods” who practice openly. I feel that if it is to be proved, it has to be done through those sealed court records.

Even though I’m writing a dark fantasy story I need a few things from reality. The husband is an alcoholic and real heavy with prostitutes. The mother is lazy, uses drugs and wishes she had a daughter instead of a son. She dressed him up as a girl when he was young, hoping he’d grow up forgetting that he’s a man. The husband hates that his wife is turning his son into a sissy. But one night a neighbor calls the police because he hears yelling and crying and is afraid something is severely wrong. My question is what could the two be fighting about? Should the husband hit his wife or slap his kid? I’m already keeping with the wife being angry about her husbands affiliation with prostitutes. The kid is put into foster care.

Just before the 4th of July he was arrested again because he had been drinking. CPS wants to take his parental rights away. He went to court last friday and was release on the condition that he starts on antabuce. . On monday at noon he went in for his UA. They said he failed for meth and sending it to the lab. He tells me that he didn’t do anything but had shared a pepsi with the neighbor..and took a sudafed or something for his cold. But tuesday he is worried? He asked me strang ? tonight like if I had certo or water pills? Will either one of those cover meth in a drug test today that he has? And will the antabuce have one of those false positive results I am hearing about.? The judge is not going to give him another chance which means I lose my rights with my grand kids. That is KILLING me to think about as they are 1 and 2 I have raised for a year now. If that test comes back pos. could it be the medication he said? Or am I not giving him a chance again.? Help worried granny!