hi. well here goes. my auntie just had a brain hemerage and died before i could even see her again and my husband has been the worst *** hole ever! i get yelled at for everything like having even one dish in the sink or the fact my son tipped the cat food on the floor while i was in the toilet etc. ive been so badly binge eating crap because its the only thing that makes me happy. i feel i want to be alone and i don’t want to go outside! i don’t have time for a barth or a book and i cant go to the shops because money is tight. my family are really great and supportive people but since the death its all been fighting over the will and cort battles for them {dad has 6 brothers and sisters and since he was the favorite then he got left all the house and money and assets and all his family want their fair share and cant decide what the want etc] so they just couldn’t handel messed up me and a over active child put on them! plus they run their own business and are training a new Secretary. i have only but one friend who is awesome and great but works full time then has family commitments so i don’t see her much. i just feel really moody and overwhelmed i don’t even ever want to talk or get out of bed, i don’t like outside or going to the park anymore and ive started to not like my son and see him as a pain and a hardship on me, which is so sad as he is a well behaved little boy and very bright but im just angry and withdrawn from him all day. what can i do? i just have lost happiness and all motivation for everything.
i feel if i had my own way id like to sit down all alone in my house all day with the curtains drawn [so in darkness] and be silent.
my son is almost 4 years old.
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hi. well here goes. my auntie just had a brain hemerage and died before i could even see her again and my husband has been the worst ass hole ever! i get yelled at for everything like having even one dish in the sink or the fact my son tipped the cat food on the floor while i was in the toilet etc. ive been so badly binge eating crap because its the only thing that makes me happy. i feel i want to be alone and i don’t want to go outside! i don’t have time for a barth or a book and i cant go to the shops because money is tight. my family are really great and supportive people but since the death its all been fighting over the will and cort battles for them {dad has 6 brothers and sisters and since he was the favorite then he got left all the house and money and assets and all his family want their fair share and cant decide what the want etc] so they just couldn’t handel messed up me and a over active child put on them! plus they run their own business and are training a new Secretary. i have only but one friend who is awesome and great but works full time then has family commitments so i don’t see her much. i just feel really moody and overwhelmed i don’t even ever want to talk or get out of bed, i don’t like outside or going to the park anymore and ive started to not like my son and see him as a pain and a hardship on me, which is so sad as he is a well behaved little boy and very bright but im just angry and withdrawn from him all day. what can i do? i just have lost happiness and all motivation for everything.
feel if i had my own way id like to sit down all alone in my house all day with the curtains drawn [so in darkness] and be silent.
oh and the leave my boy with my husband and go out for awile isnt gunna work. he isnt much of a farther just a good money provider. he wouldnt help if his life depended on it.
This one is a long one, but I tried summing it up the best I could.
I’ve been dating this guy for a 1 ½ year now. There was moment of bliss that turned out to be a strong bond and love for each other. I never felt so connected to someone, except for when I was with my first love when I was 18, I am now 31.
We never fought. I am the social butterfly and he’s the laid back type. We seem to fit like hand and glove.
A short time had passed after we first started dating. Then the bomb hit. I found out, he is a cocaine addict. I was shocked and so deeply hurt and disappointed.
How could something so real, so right, that I have waited for, for so long end up so wrong?
I cried like a baby. Every time I find someone, something has to be so horribly wrong with them! I feel cursed!
My past speaks for itself. I have dated a long line of losers and users. This one didn’t carry those characteristics. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t trying hard to impress. He was just himself, and a sweetheart at that.
This is what made it so difficult for me to detach at that time. I saw potential in him. I saw so much good, and so I invested myself in him to hopefully make a difference. The other girls he dated were not of the best kind and I was the most stable “normal” woman he ever dated. His parents even agreed and hoped things would get better.
They did….for a short time. Then, just when things started looking up, just when he started doing better at work, got a car, caught up on bills and began repairing his relationships he’d screw up again!
It has been like a roller coaster and I feel so much empathy for his mother and father, for what he has been putting them through for years.
Just recently he checked himself into a rehab for a week. He then followed up with out patient care and meetings. He “graduated” from that, and has gotten a new job and new car.
Mind you it had been some time since he had a car last, and the last time he did, he totaled it on purpose and went on a cocaine binge.
The first day with the car, he disappears for over an hour, when he tells his father he is going to drop off a prescription. He comes back and of course, his parents aren’t happy.
There’s virtually no trust left, and I don’t blame them, because I have so little myself.
He took off again then came back a little later. I wanted him to come over last night, because I was going to be all alone in my apartment. I don’t like being alone. So, he was supposed to be on his way, when he never showed up. He called me at around 1:30am stating that he just needed to be alone and was just driving around. Mind you, his father had just given him $15, so you know what we all were thinking.
I was just so hurt and ticked! I couldn’t believe he was doing this. Just a week before we came back from vacation and he couldn’t wait to go home, or so I thought, but in reality he went out and used again!
He just seems to expect a lot, and wants everyone to turn the page. It isn’t that easy. I love this guy, but I can’t trust him and it frustrates me. I also have an 11 year old son. I know what I need to do, but my heart doesn’t know how to do it. I don’t want to be stuck in this crazy whirlwind anymore; at the same time my heart is broken. What should I do?
This one is a long one, but I tried summing it up the best I could.
I’ve been dating this guy for a 1 ½ year now. There was moment of bliss that turned out to be a strong bond and love for each other. I never felt so connected to someone, except for when I was with my first love when I was 18, I am now 31.
We never fought. I am the social butterfly and he’s the laid back type. We seem to fit like hand and glove.
A short time had passed after we first started dating. Then the bomb hit. I found out, he is a cocaine addict. I was shocked and so deeply hurt and disappointed.
How could something so real, so right, that I have waited for, for so long end up so wrong?
I cried like a baby. Every time I find someone, something has to be so horribly wrong with them! I feel cursed!
My past speaks for itself. I have dated a long line of losers and users. This one didn’t carry those characteristics. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t trying hard to impress. He was just himself, and a sweetheart at that.
This is what made it so difficult for me to detach at that time. I saw potential in him. I saw so much good, and so I invested myself in him to hopefully make a difference. The other girls he dated were not of the best kind and I was the most stable “normal” woman he ever dated. His parents even agreed and hoped things would get better.
They did….for a short time. Then, just when things started looking up, just when he started doing better at work, got a car, caught up on bills and began repairing his relationships he’d screw up again!
It has been like a roller coaster and I feel so much empathy for his mother and father, for what he has been putting them through for years.
Just recently he checked himself into a rehab for a week. He then followed up with out patient care and meetings. He “graduated” from that, and has gotten a new job and new car.
Mind you it had been some time since he had a car last, and the last time he did, he totaled it on purpose and went on a cocaine binge.
The first day with the car, he disappears for over an hour, when he tells his father he is going to drop off a prescription. He comes back and of course, his parents aren’t happy.
There’s virtually no trust left, and I don’t blame them, because I have so little myself.
He took off again then came back a little later. I wanted him to come over last night, because I was going to be all alone in my apartment. I don’t like being alone. So, he was supposed to be on his way, when he never showed up. He called me at around 1:30am stating that he just needed to be alone and was just driving around. Mind you, his father had just given him $15, so you know what we all were thinking.
I was just so hurt and ticked! I couldn’t believe he was doing this. Just a week before we came back from vacation and he couldn’t wait to go home, or so I thought, but in reality he went out and used again!
He just seems to expect a lot, and wants everyone to turn the page. It isn’t that easy. I love this guy, but I can’t trust him and it frustrates me. I also have an 11 year old son. I know what I need to do, but my heart doesn’t know how to do it. I don’t want to be stuck in this crazy whirlwind anymore; at the same time my heart is broken. What should I do?
I am 22 years old I am with a guy who is 32. We have been together for a year and we have went through hell. He is emotionally abusive and we both have been physically abusive. I have two kids. He is the father of my son. I was pregnant and he put his hands on me I got a restraining order against him. He has a problem with smoking crack when he is high and drunk he is dangerous. He is in prison now he left me pregnant and went to jail. Now that he is clean he wants to be a father to his 6 week old son. I dont know what to do I dont know how to deal with this. He promises that he will never touch another drug or drink that he just wants a normal life. I dont know if it is jail talk or is he serious… please help me
I don’t know what to make of this- why would she do this to her son?
My hubby comes from a family where alcoholism is rampant among several family members. At least two have died gruesome deaths (esophagus ruptured and relative bled to death- the MD said this was caused by heavy drinking that caused liver failure/tension on the esophagus….), hubby’s uncle is unable to work because his alcoholism is so bad, hubby’s aunt has cirhrosis of the liver from drinking and does not qualify for a liver transplant….
I think you get the picture as to what alcohol has done to his extended family members.
Hubby’s Mom does not drink on a regular basis- maybe a glass of wine for special occasions. Hubby’s dad drinks at least 4 beers (his drink of choice) a day (sometimes more). One time his Mom called my hubby in tears (we live 5 states away) because her husband (hubby’s dad) had gone out on a bender and was severely drunk and irrational when he came home. Hubby’s dad was unfairly accused of something at work which led to this drinking binge. Hubby and his Mom do not think hubby’s dad has a drinking problem because he is employed, doesn’t drink on the job, etc.
In other words, he doesn’t have a drinking problem/dependency like the other family members because he is functional.
When hubby and I were dating, his mom mentioned to me- more than once- that she and her husband were ‘relieved’ (her exact word) when hubby went off to college and started drinking , because they were afraid he would ‘never touch alcohol’ . He was a good kid in high school and didn’t drink. The way it was said to me made me think that his Mom thought he was somewhat ‘nerdy’ for not drinking in high school. Hubby’s Mom even made a point to tell the same thing to MY Mom at one point (my Mom was dumbfounded as to why hubby’s mom even told her this).
Throughout the first few years of our marriage, my hubby’s drinking began to escalate. He was drinking 6 or more (sometimes 8-10) beers every night at home. Even though we were financially strapped he continued to spend close to $75 a week on beer alone. He didn’t think it was a problem.
The stress of this along with other things caused severe strain on our marriage. I was about to leave him and drinking was one of the main factors. Hubby decided he ‘did not want to lose his wife and kids’ (his words) and decided to stop drinking. The week he decided to quit coincided with a visit he had planned to see his parents (I was 8 months pregnant at the time and couldn’t go).
Right before dinner he told his parents he had decided to quit drinking because he felt he had developed a problem. He didn’t mention anything about his Dad’s drinking because he still felt his Dad didn’t have a problem- he was only talking about himself and his decision to quit.
At the dinner table his Mom poured him a glass of wine and pushed in front of him and encouraged him to drink it. She said she didn’t think he had a problem with drinking and all he needed to do was just have a few drinks and then stop himself. Hubby said no, but she insisted.
I am having trouble understanding WHY a mother whose own sister and brother have debilitating drinking problems-which she herself has characterized as terrible- would encourage her son to drink when he has announced that he has a drinking problem and is quitting alcohol altogether.
Why would she do that? What do you make of what she did?
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