I have a five year old son. His biological father died when he was barely a year old from an alcohol induced accident. His father was an alcoholic, didn’t do anything with him or for him and only pretended to be the model father in front of family and friends. He was also very verbally abusive. I have tried over the years to keep in contact with his side of the family and I get a Christmas card if I am lucky. His own Grandmother, who begged me to stay with her after he passed, makes no attempts to keep in touch with him. The last time I called all of them they all told me that they couldn’t afford the long distance phone bills, so I would have to call them if I wanted to talk to them. My current husband is the only father my son has known or even remembers. I have shown him pictures on regular occasions of his biological father, but he still says it’s Daddy and points to my husband. I understand it still may be too early for him to comprehend the situation, but this is where my dilemma comes in. My husband doesn’t want me to ever tell my son about his birth father. I don’t know if it’s because he is worried about him looking at him differently or one day walking away to try and be close to his biological family. I told my husband that one day I was going to explain to him what happened and talk to him about his biological father, even though he wasn’t the best person in the world. He is upset and thinks I should never bring it up to my son. I have always planned on telling my son because he is his birth father. Can a few people leave their thoughts for me, serious thoughts please, and let me know if they think I am wrong for my reasoning?
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My son is almost 16 – a soph in high school. He’s extremely intelligent, and loves computer programming. Besides his 104 average in programming, he has B’s, C’s and 3 F’s in subjects like English. It’s obvious he can do the work, but he doesn’t hand it in. Recognizing this is passive-agressive behaviour, I took him to a counselor. Several, actually, but he is smarter than all of them and basically plays them to give them the answers they want to hear, which doesn’t help anyone. I considered the local alternative school but it seems that it’s designed for kids with greater problems such as drugs and alcohol and I do NOT want him to be any more negatively influenced. His father lives across country (we split up before he was 3), and is a bum/drug addict (no job, owes years in back child support) – when he sees him once a year/every other year, my son’s personality changes and he tries to act like his Dad. I know his father has told him bad things about me and that I don’t deserve respect because I’m not with his father anymore, even though I worked 2 jobs for years and went to school to get my degree and a good job so my son can have anything he needs. I’m remarried now, and my son and his step-father get alone, but they are polar opposites (my son into D&D and computer games, my husband into sports). I am currently working with the counselor and teachers at the school to try and fix this issue, but it’s tough. It’s taking a lot of time and effort away from job, and putting me under enormous amounts of stress (I have have serious health problems). He’s almost 16 – Should I just back off and let him fail? Last thing I want is to seem him fail, but he’s too old for me to keep hassling him like this. And I’m tired of this situation – it’s been going on for almost 5 years now. What do I do to allow him to do well or do I just back off and let him fall on his face? What do I do if he falls on his face and instead of picking himself back up, decides it’s easier to be like his Dad and do nothing?
My son’s dad has only seen him once in the past year and a half, he doesn’t pay child support or carry him on his insurance. He’s remarried and has a child with the new wife. He’s an alcoholic and I don’t think it’s good for my son to be around him. How can I get sole custody?
My son’s dad has only seen him once in the past year and a half, he doesn’t pay child support or carry him on his insurance. He’s remarried and has a child with the new wife. He’s an alcoholic and I don’t think it’s good for my son to be around him. How can I get sole custody?
Everytime i start ignoring him he starts looking for me when he knows i love him he ignores me again im an alcoholic thats the reason he left me i think he met someone else but it did not work out he is not seeing anyone he says his scare of me drinking again i know i hurt him but its killing me that his insicure of what he wants
My alcoholic husband finally took the hint and left. He never calls. Does that mean he doesn’t care?
Married 6 years. Husband’s alcoholism progressively got worse, although he still retained his job as a school administrator. He loves the bars. I tried to keep up with him for a while, but couldn’t. He became verbally abusive, flirted with other women (I can’t prove adultery) and refused to get help. His mother and extended family try to talk to him sometimes, but don’t really force the issue. After all, he is the favorite son and cousin. He and I are both 54. I nagged, begged, made excuses, etc. I went and got him when he couldn’t find his car many a ‘next day’. He is the Cell Phone King and loves to wife bash. He has told lies about me, even sober. He lost his cell phone when he was out TWICE in bars and guess who he blamed? He finally left after I continually told him that if he wanted to live the single life, he needed to live it outside of our home. He has been gone a month, living in the same town. He has not tried to call or communicate. I don’t want the drama anymore, but I wonder if he truly doesn’t really care and I need to accept it. Is the fact that he doesn’t communicate a sign that he is ready to move on? I can’t ask him anything; he refused to talk about anything serious when he was home.
I have a 17yr old stepson. He is currently being checked into a hospital here in Houston. He is a leach, a lyer, not very smart, runs with stupid other kids his age, and has a mother for an alcoholic. His mother says that his father will provide him with money, healthcare, a home and anything esle. Not right. I am married to his father. What can I do about this legally? His son is taking him to the cleaners emotionally and financially.
I have a 17yr old stepson. He is currently being checked into a hospital here in Houston. He is a leach, a lyer, not very smart, runs with stupid other kids his age, and has a mother for an alcoholic. His mother says that his father will provide him with money, healthcare, a home and anything esle. Not right. I am married to his father. What can I do about this legally? His son is taking him to the cleaners emotionally and financially.
I have a 17yr old stepson. He is currently being checked into a hospital here in Houston. He is a leach, a lyer, not very smart, runs with stupid other kids his age, and has a mother for an alcoholic. His mother says that his father will provide him with money, healthcare, a home and anything esle. Not right. I am married to his father. What can I do about this legally? His son is taking him to the cleaners emotionally and financially.
I have a 17yr old stepson. He is currently being checked into a hospital here in Houston. He is a leach, a lyer, not very smart, runs with stupid other kids his age, and has a mother for an alcoholic. His mother says that his father will provide him with money, healthcare, a home and anything esle. Not right. I am married to his father. What can I do about this legally? His son is taking him to the cleaners emotionally and financially.
Ok, there is a longer version but for now I will post the short version and interject more when I get back and have more time.
We just took in my stepson that is 10 by birth but 6-7 socially. He can be a very sweet child but also likes to do what he wants, when he wants even if told he was not to do whatever it is over and over again.
Today he decided he wanted to play with something that he knows he is not allowed to play with, and because he has been told before and we think he has been mis-dxed with adhd, instead of punishing him and being mad I asked him why he did it.
Bottom line, he knew he wasn’t suppose to mess with the item, much less with anything in my office area, yet took it anyways because he wanted to play with them, even though he understood he was not suppose to.
I asked if he thought he would get away with it (no one would find out), get in trouble for it but didn’t care or if he thought he just would not get punished for it. He chose the very latter…why?
Just a quick low-down:
Unwanted pregnancy, mother was on meth, she got an infection so he was born early at 6 months, was in hospital care for a month, then grandma took him home and raised him.
From what I have gathered, he has been on sugar all his life starting with sugar water. Grandma would let him have a whole cup of sugar on his cereal. No disipline for the most part, grandma is “socially retarded” for lack of a better word (I love her dearly, don’t get me wrong), let him always get his way then told the Dr she could no longer handle him when he was 4 and they put him on ritalin.
Today I had him drink coffee because I don’t think he has adhd and it made him hyper, just like the adhd drugs do. He talks to someone that talks back to him and all we can get out of him is that it is god (I did not capitalize as I am not sure who he is really talking to).
The mother’s other son that is older than my step son has a plethra of behavior problems and then some, yet she swears there is no “mental illness” in her family…weird, 2 boys both the exact same way by same mom, I don’t think so! I have 3 kids and they are each different, 1 being from the same dad my step son is from.
So, that is the short version…you may email me via my profile if you have questions or post them here and I will add more…THANKS!
Denise 
To the first two responses – THANK YOU – for the great laugh!! We have done both (even the “abortion” by removing him from the home once before). He lived with us for 1 year but due to violence had to be removed from the home. We have him back only because his grandma is too sick from stress from him, so we had no choice. BUT, we also had more kids in the home at that time that are no longer in the home, so I have more one on one with him now.
I know that he does not have add nor adhd as he can concentrate with little help, he just knows how to play the system and is very, very manipulative!
I have wondered about PDD or some sort of personality disorder. I pray for him and his “whatever” everyday and I am also very patient.
I would love to beat him as I do my own kids, even before they do anything bad I will give them some “love” swats, as I call them. They love it though it hurts a bit, the sting of the hand
All his current Dr wants to do is medicate him 
Plus, I just spoke with my ex who got a chance to be around him for a whole day, along with 3 other boys ranging in ages from 10 – 15.
He said that he is definitely VERY manipulative and that he now sees where the other boys are coming from (one of them lived with us during his previous violent episodes)!
He stated that he nagged and called them names just because they were busy doing other stuff and wouldn’t do what he wanted them to do…even after being told no by myself several times that he could not go on a bike ride (that was just one thing).
He said it was like an impish child throwing a temper but quietly so the adults couldn’t hear him. We have sometimes wondered if he really did always start stuff or if the other boys did.
Now I know who is the manipulative instigator and name caller. Then he called the other boys “pussies” and my oldest told him he had a big mouth for someone who couldn’t back it up!
He is delusional & grandoise (ms?) about himself.
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
I have a five year old son. His biological father died when he was barely a year old from an alcohol induced accident. His father was an alcoholic, didn’t do anything with him or for him and only pretended to be the model father in front of family and friends. He was also very verbally abusive. I have tried over the years to keep in contact with his side of the family and I get a Christmas card if I am lucky. His own Grandmother, who begged me to stay with her after he passed, makes no attempts to keep in touch with him. The last time I called all of them they all told me that they couldn’t afford the long distance phone bills, so I would have to call them if I wanted to talk to them. My current husband is the only father my son has known or even remembers. I have shown him pictures on regular occasions of his biological father, but he still says it’s Daddy and points to my husband. I understand it still may be too early for him to comprehend the situation, but this is where my dilemma comes in. My husband doesn’t want me to ever tell my son about his birth father. I don’t know if it’s because he is worried about him looking at him differently or one day walking away to try and be close to his biological family. I told my husband that one day I was going to explain to him what happened and talk to him about his biological father, even though he wasn’t the best person in the world. He is upset and thinks I should never bring it up to my son. I have always planned on telling my son because he is his birth father. Can a few people leave their thoughts for me, serious thoughts please, and let me know if they think I am wrong for my reasoning?
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
I have a five year old son. His biological father died when he was barely a year old from an alcohol induced accident. His father was an alcoholic, didn’t do anything with him or for him and only pretended to be the model father in front of family and friends. He was also very verbally abusive. I have tried over the years to keep in contact with his side of the family and I get a Christmas card if I am lucky. His own Grandmother, who begged me to stay with her after he passed, makes no attempts to keep in touch with him. The last time I called all of them they all told me that they couldn’t afford the long distance phone bills, so I would have to call them if I wanted to talk to them. My current husband is the only father my son has known or even remembers. I have shown him pictures on regular occasions of his biological father, but he still says it’s Daddy and points to my husband. I understand it still may be too early for him to comprehend the situation, but this is where my dilemma comes in. My husband doesn’t want me to ever tell my son about his birth father. I don’t know if it’s because he is worried about him looking at him differently or one day walking away to try and be close to his biological family. I told my husband that one day I was going to explain to him what happened and talk to him about his biological father, even though he wasn’t the best person in the world. He is upset and thinks I should never bring it up to my son. I have always planned on telling my son because he is his birth father. Can a few people leave their thoughts for me, serious thoughts please, and let me know if they think I am wrong for my reasoning?
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
My son is three, about to turn four. My exhuband/his dad disappeared over a year ago and even before that didn’t see him very often (once every other month or so). His dad was also pretty violent and an alcoholic and drug user. Now, I stopped getting child support and when I tried to follow up to see what the situation is – his dad is saying he wants to see our son and claims that I have been keeping him from him (patently false, even if I should have been). He also says that we need “revisit the custody situation.” I tried asking my son if he remembers his dad, he just seemed really confused. When I showed him a picture of his dad, he just asked “Who’s that?”
What should I do?
I currently have full custody, but it is nearly impossible in texas to have visitation revoked. If he were to show up at the right time with the visitation orders in hand, he can call the police and have my son taken away. It’s a pretty tricky situation and I have to tread pretty lightly because realistically, I don’t have that much control in this situation.
