My new in laws are addicted to weed total alcaholics and the grandmother abuses prescription meds and sleeping pills while drinking heavily. I married my wife and have a step son now we decided to pull him away totally and have no contact. My wife is suffering separation Anxiety but my son seems to be doing fne. did we do the right thing? should we continue this separation? and also she and my new son lived with these people for 5 the childs whole life. he is 6 years and autistic
Browsing Posts tagged dealing
it is our problem. i mean when they tell us that they drink cause of us. cause they think they are in love with us and we dont want to be with them sort of like a controlling factor. will it help us with our feeling we are in bondage or quilty cause of their drinking. i mean all the emotional abuse that they put us through will it help with that? and also the physical abuse for all the years even though that stopped and it became mental abuse? will it help with that? and if so where can i get to one? and man why havent i known about this resource years ago i went through over 11yrs of physical to emotional to mental abuse the physical stopped when i put him in jail then the emotional rollerercoaster to mental torment. he maybe changing ,but i believe i have been damaged. well he tries not to drink when around me. he doesnt live with me, but when i take our son over there to him and his mom, who he stays with then he tries not to.i try to be nice so he wont give them hell. i am tired.
We’ve been together 4 years, have an almost 2 year old son, and have been married almost 3 months. I love him very much, he is one of the greatest guys I’ve ever met. However, he goes in these spurts where he will be drinking a lot and seem to completely not care about me at all. He’ll say mean things whens he’s drunk, which I know he doesn’t mean but it still hurts. He’s gone to rehab once last year, it helped…he was sober 73 days until a buddy of his passed away and through him right back into the drinking. Since then (April 2007) he’s been drinking. Sometimes not much, sometimes way too much. He had a sober 3 weeks this last month and then wanted to go out to dinner (our son going to grandma’s for the night) and I knew that meant trouble…he’s going to drink. Well, sure enough he did…and I can’t lie…I had a couple beers myself, but I’m not the one with a drinking problem. I feel like our marriage is all of a sudden unimportant to him. Even though he loves me and would do anything for my son and I, it’s making me very bitter. I feel like I’ve been told I won the lotto, then, “oh wait, there’s been a mistake. you didn’t win” kind of thing. I was SO happy when he quit drinking again, I thought something finally clicked and he was going to shape up. Then BAM right back to drinking full force. Now, he’s gone all the time and I’m alone with our 2 yr old son who’s constantly asking me, “daddy home soon?” and I have to be there when Daddy doesn’t show up to do things that were promised to our son. Sometimes I think I hate him, and other times I think…How lucky am I? Cuz he can be a wonderful person! And he is a good dad, until his recent broken promise.
Does anyone have an alcoholic spouse and know of ways to help them and yourself go through the tough times? I love him, so please don’t tell me to divorce him. I’m not giving up that easily. I want real advice, not a cop out. Thanks!
I have realized throughout my life that me wanting somebody to change is not enough for them to change (my dad is also an alcoholic). He went to rehab, went to AA meetings, and has recently considered it again. I just can’t find the words of encouragement without them being my own selfish reasons…or without sounding like I”m begging him.
Sorry, “he went to rehab” is referring to my husband not my father.
In response to michigan…I do know much about alcoholism as far as what the books tell you. As I stated I’ve lived with one my entire life, my father hasn’t missed a day of drinking that I can remember. I just wondered if anyone found ways of living with it, without it breaking you down to the point of wondering if it’s worth being married to him. He had a good spell, I believed he was different than my father type of alcoholic, because no joke..I can’t think of 1 day in my life that my dad didn’t drink. Anyway, I have done a lot of research, I just felt this would be a way to talk to women/men who deal with this on a day to day basis. I can’t go to al-anon because times are tough and sadly, the only person who does extra driving in our family is my husband when he goes out drinking. Which causes me to not be able to drive anywhere else cuz we’re broke. To work and back for me, only.
my 19 year old brother does weed..i found out by going threw his phone..and its very ovious..he DOESNT have a job..and he lives at home with mom and i. (im 13.] and my best friend told me that he sold some to her dads friends son..adn he told my friends dad..and i went over to my cousins and they where getting high and they told me that he does weed and that hes a dealer. hes always ben my hero. he ALWAYS tells me not to do drugs..NEVER to smoke and drink..but he smokes ciggars..drinks.., AND hes on weed. i kno weeds not the worst thing in the world..but still. he was going to collage for law inforcement…but he didnt pass the drug test..i talked to my brother about how i knew and he told me that it wasnt ok and that hes sorry..he doesnt kno that i kno that hes a dealer though..i told my mom that he does..and i told her that hes a dealer..she was shocked..but if u put everything together..it makes sence..
one time he came home and his eyes where SOOO bloodshot.
u could just tell.
EVERYONE knows that hes on weed.
i love my brother SOO much.., so how can i get him to stop.???!
hes ruining his life..adn i CANT jsut sit here and watch. i mean now hes dealing weed..what if he turns into a crack head like my uncle.???
(i dont wanna tell him that i know hes a dealer..maybe later on in life..but not now.]
THANK YOU SOO MUCH IN ADVACE. ANYY advice would be appreacited.
my 19 year old brother does weed..i found out by going threw his phone..and its very ovious..he DOESNT have a job..and he lives at home with mom and i. (im 13.] and my best friend told me that he sold some to her dads friends son..adn he told my friends dad..and i went over to my cousins and they where getting high and they told me that he does weed and that hes a dealer. hes always ben my hero. he ALWAYS tells me not to do drugs..NEVER to smoke and drink..but he smokes ciggars..drinks.., AND hes on weed. i kno weeds not the worst thing in the world..but still. he was going to collage for law inforcement…but he didnt pass the drug test..i talked to my brother about how i knew and he told me that it wasnt ok and that hes sorry..he doesnt kno that i kno that hes a dealer though..i told my mom that he does..and i told her that hes a dealer..she was shocked..but if u put everything together..it makes sence..
one time he came home and his eyes where SOOO bloodshot.
u could just tell.
EVERYONE knows that hes on weed.
i love my brother SOO much.., so how can i get him to stop.???!
hes ruining his life..adn i CANT jsut sit here and watch. i mean now hes dealing weed..what if he turns into a crack head like my uncle.???
(i dont wanna tell him that i know hes a dealer..maybe later on in life..but not now.]
THANK YOU SOO MUCH IN ADVACE. ANYY advice would be appreacited.
Whoever said life begins at 40 was smoking crack. It began ok – to fall apart. I realize that’s a negative statement for a Christian, but I’m now 54 and I hate getting old. To make it worse, I’ve gained a lot of weight. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do. Even silly things like jumping on the trampoline with the grandkids or teaching my grandsons to stand on their heads like I taught my sons and granddaughters. Things hurt more. Places hurt more. I was once described as a formidable woman. I fear that woman is gone. My transition through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is not progressing well. Self actualization seems completely out of reach. With regard to death, I know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. That’s good. It’s the time from now till then. Any words of wisdom out there?
First I want to say I have been blessed that God has removed the taste of cocaine from me! I used for 24 years after my son was murdered! Today I have well over a year of sobriety now. All of the AA in the world did nothing for me!
It wasn’t until I truly got it right with God that all of that non sense went away.
Now- There is a guy at church that is smoking crack! HE gets a SS check 1x a month a little over 500 dollars, and smokes it up every single time. Then the rest of the 29 days he is living on the streets. There was a gentleman at church that took him in, and did everything he could for him. He has snuck out of the house in the early hours of the morning while they were asleep to go get high.
Well he is calling me for help now. Yesterday he called me and ask me to send his son some $ in FL because he didn’t have it to do, and his son never ask him for anything. Seems he lost his job etc. SOOOOO I did. I sent him some $ western union. I have always ask God to bless me with enough that I may bless some1 else. I found out from some1 at Church he has been thrown out of 5 Churches in Charlotte for using the christian folk….I am torn with what to do…..
ANY SUGGESTIONS??
No, I am not giving a crack addict $. I sent it to his son in FL, he is no where near there. LOL I am not that stupid!
Thank you all for your comments.
The truth is …it is very hard to watch him continue to do this to himself. I told him today that he has adapted to living on the streets nad going ot places that will feed him in the day, etc. then the nights he runs the streets and sleeps outside.
You’re correct, until he want to change, and until he gets it right with God, and stop using his people to get what he wants he will continue to do this.
The sad part is he can play a paino wonderfuly and does it at church, and sings too… WOW…what a mess.
This crackpot family moved in three years ago That year was hell They would blast music do drugs & shout from nonstop from11pm til 4am EVERY NIGHT
When asked to stop the pyscho mother threatened us & verbally abused us for several days We have her on tape
We felt like there was point in going to the cops b/c unless someone is bleeding they wont do anything
It finally calmed down when psycho dad was kicked & ghetto thug son went to jail & pyscho mom hooked up with half decent guy The other deaf son came to my mom for protection when Mommy dearest went nuts on him
They have calmed down a lot Each year that goes by is calmer than the one before But every summer this family goes crazy Its like Mom has to have a few freak outs every summer or its just not summer
Why do we have to live in fear of this time bomb family ticking next door?
Have you dealt with a situation like this? If so how did you handle it? We have some money for lawyer but not much
Correction “we felt like there was no point in going to the police”
a sentence structure that is:
A.indeterminate
B.mandatory
C.structured
D.determinate
I have a 16 year old son, we lost his dad 3 years ago & it is still very difficult. We tried counseling, but noone in our area deals with “grief counseling”. I lose it in spurts, but deal pretty well. My son has down right depression binges… he hates visiting the grave & seems almost angry that his dad died. Anyone with advice? Is this a normal response almost 3 years after the fact?
Wonderful advice from most of you… I guess some of you misunderstood… I NEVER force him to go to the grave site. I have offered to take him if it would help, when he says NO, that’s it. I don’t mention it until he brings it up, then I re-offer. I will need to search for different counseling centers, must of you suggest he still needs outside help & Thank-you! I understand my grief is different & I am coping quite well, he & his dad were best buddies as well as extremely close dad & Son. I appreciate all your responses!
