My cousin is 20 and his fiancé is 19, she’s been living with my Aunt and Uncle for the last 5 years and has always started problems. I don’t know if she thrives off causing problems or what. But she constantly is talking crap about either family members or close family friends. I don’t have much family where I live, and being an only child, I have a close relationship with my cousins that I’ve grown up with. My younger cousin started dating this girl 5 years ago and she was very troubled when they met. A few years ago, we had a really big blow up, and I told my Aunt and Uncle that I could stand her shit talking anymore. That she’s constantly turning my friends and family around on me and that I thought she is a bad influence on their only daughter. They told me if I couldn’t accept her, that I didn’t need to hang around. So I just shut up didn’t say anything more about her and ended up moving out of state for 8 months. I moved back just over a year ago, and she had matured a lot. But I found out that the whole time I was gone, she was telling my younger cousins that they shouldn’t want anything to do with me because all I do is try and control them. I’ve come to look past a lot of things, and for a while we became pretty close, too close. It got to the point where my Aunt asked me to sneak her out of the house to go shopping. I had to sneak her out, because my cousin’s fiancé, at the age of 19, can’t go to the store without asking my Aunt for stuff. She found out that we went to the store and when we got back, her and my cousin refused to talk or look at me; because I lied about where I was going (which my Aunt asked me to do.) Afterward, I let it be known to them, that I don’t have any obligations to clear what I want to do with them. Eventually it all blew over and we started getting close again. Until we were driving out to a family function, and she started talking to me about my other cousin’s GF. She started telling me all these rumors about his GF, the entire way to the family function. And as soon as we got there, she immediately blew me off for subject of the rumors. Then, the other night, my Aunt and Uncle’s son, who is an alcoholic, had a bad drinking episode. He started crying about how my cousin’s fiancé told him that my Uncle hates that his oldest son lives there and that my Uncle can‘t stand my cousin, which my Uncle would never say about anyone. The next day is when I found out what had happened, I asked my cousin’s fiancé about what she had said to my oldest cousin. And all she could say is, “Why does anyone believe me?” I feel like she is destroying my family. Like as if she doesn’t care, because we’re not really her family. Yet if I say anything, I am going to be considered the problem. I really don’t feel close to my cousins anymore, and it’s depressing, because I feel like I don’t have any cousins to rely on for support. I’m afraid that I am going to completely cut off contact with all of them.
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I am a twenty four year old mother of a three year old boy. I was with his father for two years and shortly after I had my son he became violent and verbally abusive. He tried to kidnap my son once and has been trying to get him ever since I left about two years ago. We were never married. I love my son and He and I have been happy together. About a year ago I got fed up with not recieving child support so I went to a lawyer and when his dad saw I wanted child support he sued me for custody and weve been goign at it ever since. He never wanted anyhting to do with me or my son untill child support became an issue. I am so fearful My son will get taken from me. We go to trial in four weeks and I am so stressed I have trouble sleeping and eating. My sons father is an alcoholic and I dont want my son to grow up there with him and be influenced by that. I just want my son and I to have the peaceful and happy life we deserve.
I was a good and loving mom,till drugs and alcohol became more and more important than doing the right thing for myself and my son.I had a loving husband,a new home,a car and:my freedom!I lost it all.Husband run away,CPS took my son a 2nd time,house went in foreclosure,car got impounded,I went to prison and got deported.In prison,I took advantage of every program there was,to get my son back.In prison I realized what I had done.Hell broke loose when CPS started talking about adoption.His grand mom in the States got denied after all,my parents in Germany got on it,on being approved,to get my son,to raise him in Germany.Everything was fine with my son (4 years old),til 4 weeks after he´s seen his Mamie for the last time,at the CPS office.He started to act out,would jell and cuss and cry,because his Mamie wasn’t´t there anymore,the one that he loves so much,and no one there,to let him know,that Mamie still loves him and she will come back to him,but right now, she is in “Timeout” for a little bit.That´s when I had gone to prison.I never hit my son,but I yelled at times a lot.I never ever backhanded him in his stomach,so hard,that he threw up.I never locked him in the closet for day´s and left the house!!!My son and I were together 24/7,ever since he was born and his dad went to prison when he was 3 mo old.He got sentenced to almost 12 years.All these story’s are from people,that didn’t know any better than talk BS and lies.My son had a habit of drinking warm chocolate milk and right after that,to play with the dogs or run arround,so that he made him self sick.And I know in my heart,that my ex neighbours were the once that said that I would lock him in the closet,because there was a situation,were the windows were open and I had to go somewere and my son wouldn´t listen,so I told him,that if he doesn´t wanna go,he can stay at home,but I have to lock him in the closet.I did,for a moment,to teach him a little lesson,and it worked.Now he is with my ex´s ex(they have a daughter together).After my son finally got my letters,4 mon. later,he started acting out again.I wonder why!?After all this time,just abuanding him,not wanting him anymore,of course he´s mad,he dosen´t wanna have anything to do with me,that´s how I would feel,if I were my son!!!!Instead of explaining him,what´s going on,they have him see a Psychologist.Posttraumatic stress disorder,with reactive attachment disorder,twice a month!And after only 2 weeks back in Germany,I got me a job,an apt.,got enrolled in a substance abuse program,classes,drugtesting etc..And now,my services with CPS got terminated,next hearing is in Nov.,I never had a fair chance,to see the Jugde,to justify myself.My son is 6 now,I haven´t seen him in 2 years,no contact what so ever…….How could I ever let this happen?????So,what do I do now????
Thank´s to everyboby who took the time to read my story and to coment on it.
Thank´s to everyboby who took the time to read my story and to coment on it.
In two weeks is finals week at my high school. Last weekend a guy at my school died from alcohol poisoning (some of you might have heard about this on the news). My friends grandfather died. My other friends cousin died in Iraq, then her cousins mom killed herself because she missed her son, also her grandmother is dieing in the hospital. I have insane amounts of projects, homework, presentations, and tests. I’m starting to loose it and need some help.
Any Suggestions on how to deal with it????????
My husband and I got married 9 years ago and 8 and 1/2 years ago my step-son was dumped on us. His mother disappeared for 8 months and when she returned she didn’t want him back. My step-son was a little over 2 yrs. old at the time. When he came to live with us he was out of control. By 3 yrs old he was kicked out of 3 daycares and at 4 kicked out of pre-school. He would beat up my 4 yr. old and was very underdeveloped. My husband traveled for his job and would be gone 6 weeks at a time which left full responsibility of this kid on me. At 6 years old my step-son was diagnosed with ADHD and Fetal Alcohol syndrome. The last 4 years has been a major struggle in my marriage. I have told my husband that I can’t handle him anymore but he just doesn’t care. It even got to the point that I told him that he had to choose between my step-son and the rest of the family including myself and his other 2 children and he had said he would choose my step-son over the rest of us. My step-son is disrespectable, abusive, lazy and agues about everything. He is constantly fighting with our 7 yr. old and has hurt our 8 month old on several occasions. I can’t discipline my step-son because my husband is always defending him. My step-son will lie all the time and I will catch him in the lie and my husband will tell me to stay out of it. It is to the point that we are fighting on a daily basis over the things my step-son does or says. I have so much anger toward this kid because he is destroying my family and the relationship with my husband. My step-sons mother is willing to take him but my husband wont let him live there. I am to the point I think I hate the kid everytime I look at him I can feel the blood rushing. I don’t like the person I have become when he is around. What should I do HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
I want to thank everyone for their thoughts. The people that blame me I want to ask you if you are raising a step child, if not you have no clue. The people that feel sorry for the child, you must not of read my post correctly.
I have been raising this child on my own for the last 9 years. He was only 2 when he started living with me so the part where everyone said poor kid got abandond by his mother well he doesn’t even know so no that isn’t the reason why he is out of control. Next I treat my step-son like he is my own. Everything I give my other children he gets as well. The only thing I can’t give him is the bond between mother and child which he does have parents that give him that. For counceling, he does recieve it. I been bringing him to the doctor 2 times a month since he was 6 years old. What I was questioning was Is it normal to hate someone so much and why is his parent putting me through this. I know if my child wasn’t liked I would find some way to change the situation.
she claims iam tring to take my son away from by cooking, cleaning taking of my granddaughters,which she does not do i though i was helping her.she says the only family my son needs in his life is her and her friends not his brother or mother also she smokes meth in front of the girls (5and 6 yrs old) which i told her about
I need some tips on how to deal with an alcoholic.Is there anyone out there that has been to AA meetings or Alanon.He has been in and out of the hospital because of his liver. He gets scared and stops for a while then he drinks again. We love him but it is tearing us up inside. Especially my son he is only 11 and he is so hurt and tired. My husband needs help, he is killing himself and we want to help him but dont know how to anymore. Some advice or tips would greatly be appreciated.
He was not an alcoholic when I met him. He started a few years ago. If I can put him in a rehab I would.
I also told him that I would like a seperation. If he continues to drink to do it elsewhere, just so it is not in our face. He will not budge. He is not violent but he does act very childish when he drinks and it gets annoying very much so. We are so tired of the hospital visits. We feel so lost.
When work wasn’t working out in my very small new england hometown with virtually no businesses, I decided to move 3,000 miles away to California where my wife and I could utilize our college degrees to get good paying work. While right after we got here the economy went down the tubes. We stayed in our camper for 6 months… A hellish 6 months… After applying for jobs all-day, every-day my wife eventually landed a decent job. Not “high paying” for the area, but adequate to pay for our lot rent. Well we were introduced to this guy who needed some help done around his house.
We were thrilled when a few months later he called us and asked if we wanted to stay in his “granny unit” which was actually a pretty big house, for about 3/4 of the going rate, but most importantly, no security deposit required, and no last months rent required. We happily moved in and have been living here for the last 6 months. We have never been so much as a day late with the rent, in fact he frequently comes over and demands it, days early.
Well, come to find out this guy is a raging alcoholic. He constantly shuts off the wireless internet just to piss us off. He likes to lie and blame it on the cable company, but I’m a techie and can see that he is unplugging the power to his router!! That is just the tip of the iceberg. If I don’t help him immediately when he asks, he gets mad, and will send me e-mails telling me he’s going to kick me out, and how “useless” I am. I always helps him when he asks me, and even times when he doesn’t. I brought him Thanks Giving dinner the other day without so much as a thank you. I constantly have to help him with his computer. He has pissed off all his other friends and family, and I’m really all he has besides his book keeper… His son recently told me he’s done this to about 8 people in the last few years, including threatening to kill his son… If I try to “stay away” from him, this pisses him off even more… I’d love to just move to another place, but i don’t have the money for security deposit, and first and last months rent, and most importantly, my credit sucks… I’m so depressed and feel stuck here.. I believe him to be schizophrenic as well.. Any advice is appreciated.
He’s 56, been unemployed (by choice – he quit his last job over a year ago and did nothing to find work). He’s an alcoholic. He’s fixing to lose his house, his phone has been cut off, he has no money, he’s pawned everything and is now calling me to help. He’s made up a story that he’s got lung cancer and he’s dying to get sympathy. He’s never gone to a doctor to get it confirmed yet used this excuse to sit around his house doing nothing. He still smokes and drinks. I was giving him a little bit of money for groceries but realized I’m just enabling him. I’m scared he’s going to show up on my doorstep wanting to a place to stay. I’ll have to turn him away because I cannot allow him to ruin me and my son’s life. I’ve worked too hard for the things I have as a single widowed mother. I’m disgusted my brother has done nothing for himself and asks for my help. I can’t bring myself to help him anymore. He has sat around doing nothing for himself over a year and now he’s lost it all. He has no money to his name whatsoever. Anyone else dealt with an alcoholic family member this bad off?
My husband is an alcoholic. He has a long family history of it as well. Our one year anniversary is this Friday and we have a 10 month old son together.
He and I have had an awful year financially and with his drinking. He was even convicted of a DWI this year and is now on probation. We have gone through the “I’m quiting for goods” and all that. He may quit for a little bit or cut down but he then assumes that since he’s capable of doing that, that he doesn’t have a problem. He thinks he can “control” it.
I can’t live like this anymore. It is destroying me and I am an absolute mess. I am a Christian and believe that He will guide me. I believe in what marriage stands for. I feel like I would be lost without him. Things were actually ok the majority of December mainly because he was sick for like 2 weeks and didn’t want to drink. But we baptized our son (I got to church reguarly, he doesn’t ) last Sunday and when I stood up there and made a vow to raise my baby in a Christian home, it hit me. We aren’t raising him that way. Daddy drinks and Mommy fights with him, that’s unhealthy and I don’t want to teach my son that that is what a family is supposed to be.
On New Year’s he said he wanted 2 beers and then we would spend the evening together eating and all that. He wen outside on the porch and drank and smoked cigars while I stayed inside and cooked, fed and bathed the baby. He came in and told me that he missed how we used to sit outside together and drink and talk. He said he wanted to get me a bottle of wine ( I haven’t really drank since before I was pregnant) and I said no. He insisted and I told him that I knew he really just wanted to get more alcohol for himself. He said yeah he wanted a few more beers. And I said I didn’t want a six pack in my house. He assured me there would not be. I then told him that included liquor and he laughed. He said he wanted a tiny bottle of jager (I assumed a small shot-like bottle) I tried to resist but I said fine.
He comes back with a small bottle of jager but big enough to get him wasted & 4 beers. I already knew this was gonna turn into a nightmare. I put baby to sleep and when he drinks he likes to talk on the phone. So, we spent maybe 30 min just talking to eachother (not what he said he wanted). We start talking about his ex-wife and the mess she’s in with her bf and I’m like I don’t want to talk about this anymore. He then calls her husband (yes she’s still married and has a bf, not a class act) and talks to him about her. And I get mad. I’m like why did I agree to all this to watch you drunk dial all night? He gets off the phone and it’s close to midnight. He comes in the kitchen and tells me he loves me and that we’re fine and I asked him to eat dinner and sober up bc it was almost midnight. He went outside and said Ok. The next thing I know his 21 yr old nephew calls him and tells him he’s here and he leaves me 15 min before midnight. I was beyond devasted and couldn’t believe I try to give him some rope and he does this to me. Baby heard me crying and woke up so I rocked him back to sleep at midnight crying my eyes out.
I told him yesterday, I am done with the alcohol. I want it OUT of my house and life forever. I gave a vow to raise my baby in a Christian home and that is what is going to happen. I told him he could decide from there what he wanted to do. He came home and acted like everything was ok, trying to hug me and all that. And I was like, “Well, what are you going to do?” He got annoyed and I really didn’t care. Then he said “I need to stop, it’s getting out of hand” And then I was like, “You LEFT me on New Year’s and it hurt.” and he apologized and said he loved me.
Today, I asked him to go to church and he said no. I feel like if he was sincere in making this change he would’ve gone. We fought after I got back from church because he’s blaming me for the whole other night. He said I picked a fight with him about being on the phone and that’s why he left. Which is BS. Alcoholics leave because they run out of alcohol, which he had, AND as I said we were fine (or so I thought) right before he left. I’m so hurt by this whole thing. He said he is quitting and I’m afraid to get close to him again and be loving if he’s going to drink like this again because the pain of him leaving I know is going to be close to unbearable. I love him with all my heart, I’ve gone to Al-Anon, and I’m trying to cope with this. But he HAS to quit, or my baby will pay the price. I just don’t know how to believe him, I feel stupid.
I apologize for the long question. Clearly, I am in a lot of pain. And I think it’s funny those of you who wrote rude comments are on the religion section. Not very Christian-like. God Bless you all.
He said in Nov. he would go to AA and that never happened. Later, he said it was to “appease” me. And no, he was not like this when I met him. It escalated after our financial situation got worse.
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
the kids have rules and their own spaces at our house…i resent the situation and my husband for allowing it to be the way that it is…and my husband changed a lot since we got married expecting that everything in our family is to be “normal” and that i am their mother (meaning take her place when they are here) and i think the kids resent that….and the girl was snooping through my things the box was up higher on my desk where she would have had to have gotten a chair to climb up there and grab it. they have been known to be sneaky like that before. i left the room for 2 min to go to the bathroom…the baby was in his play pen. and the kids have also been warned time and time again how dangerous small objects and toys are to babies. HELLO?
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
she and her brother have been warned time and time again that small toys and objects are not for babies. they have rules and boundaries in our house. they knew better unless obviously there is some mental issue with the girl because of her mothers meth use. my husband forces me to pretend that we are a “normal” family and that i am the kids’ mother and he doesnt deal with the real mother..guess who has to do it? ME and i dont think its right. i dont resent the kids. i resent him and the situation he has made for our family. a lot of things changed when he married me he expected me to basically take the total place of their mother and i dont think they like that and thats why i feel they are being resentful….you cant you people see that?!
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
she and her brother have been warned time and time again that small toys and objects are not for babies. they have rules and boundaries in our house. they knew better unless obviously there is some mental issue with the girl because of her mothers meth use. my husband forces me to pretend that we are a “normal” family and that i am the kids’ mother and he doesnt deal with the real mother..guess who has to do it? ME and i dont think its right. i dont resent the kids. i resent him and the situation he has made for our family. a lot of things changed when he married me he expected me to basically take the total place of their mother and i dont think they like that and thats why i feel they are being resentful….you cant you people see that?!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.
Yes and like i said she could have a developmental delay but i find it hard to believe but im not ignoring that possibility. i think her and her brother both need counseling. they both were warned time and time again how dangerous small toys and objects are to babies. it was not like they were not told. they are old enough to know the difference IF THERE IS NO MENTAL ISSUE. this girl is supposed to be in kindergarten in less than a year. hello?
Yes these children have their own space the girl has her own room for christs sakes. the baby and the other boy share a room because we only have three bedrooms. they are never treated like they are extras. the only way they would feel that way is the fact that they are shuffled by the choices of their BIOLOGICAL MOTHER AND FATHER which i am not. that is that. plain and simple. i have expressed my concern to both of them and guess what? they think its just fine for the kids. some parents eh? my husband did not have this custody until we had been together for awhile. so its not like i knew it would all be like this. ok
Now wait a minute…i left to use the bathroom for 2 minutes…what do u expect me to do..take them all to the bathroom with me and for your information my step daughter went searching through my things. when she knew that she is not supposed to do those things…. she is not a toddler she is almost 5 (4 years and 11 months)!!! and the other kid is almost done with 1st grade not kindergarten (he’s almost 7)! and spanking is not illegal especially if the intent was not to harm them or leave marks which i didnt! so dont judge my parenting i asked a question. THANK YOU.
Now wait a minute…i left to use the bathroom for 2 minutes…what do u expect me to do..take them all to the bathroom with me and for your information my step daughter went searching through my things. when she knew that she is not supposed to do those things…. she is not a toddler she is almost 5 (4 years and 11 months)!!! and the other kid is almost done with 1st grade not kindergarten (he’s almost 7)! and spanking is not illegal especially if the intent was not to harm them or leave marks which i didnt! so dont judge my parenting i asked a question. THANK YOU.
also…the baby could have put those safety pins in his mouth and choked and died. whether or not she was trying to kill him i dont know how people would not think she needs help.
by the way the safety pins were in a box out of their reach (up higher on my desk)…meaning they must have climbed something to get to them…so obviously they were looking through my things….i never said that they were trying to kill the baby but tell me why that is not possible? please any body show me a reference PLEASE!
i appreciate some of the answers with compassion here and logical explanations but how many of you are actually in a step situation? or blended family?
i am 24 years old 25 on friday
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for **** that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL **** those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
I’m a widowed single mom who’s worked hard to provide a good home to my son. I’ve had to save up for everything and live in a small townhome and work hard at my job. Life is finally stable for me and my son and I’m making decent money and things are good. I’ve survived the loss of my husband and entire family – all except one brother. That brother has always been an abusive alcoholic (he’s 9 years older than me). He quit his job over a year ago and has done nothing but sit around and drink beer and become severely depressed. He couldn’t find a job and gave up by saying his doctor diagnosed him with lung cancer so that’s why he can’t work. He says he gets tired easily and can’t breathe. The doctor/cancer excuse is a total lie – I called his doctor and he said he never ‘diagnosed him with anything” just told him to quit smoking. My brother has no money left, his house is going to be foreclosed on – he’s destitute. I cannot let him move in with me and turn my life into hell. When he drinks he’s abusive and beligerant. He’s a full blown alcoholic and he lies about everything to the point I don’t believe anything he says. My question is .. I can’t help him, take care of him or allow him to move in with me. I’m his only family member. How do I tell him “NO, you’ll have to go live under a bridge because I’m not taking care of you or letting you move in with me”. I have no sympathy for him because he brought this on himself by doing absolutely nothing for over a year but feel sorry for himself and get drunk. He’s lost it all and expects me to rescue him. I can’t give up everything I’ve worked so hard for – I’ve finally got my life stable for me and my son. Am I being cruel to turn my back on him? He really did me wrong many times and he turned his back on me ALOT. When I was widowed with a new baby – he did nothing to help me. All these years I’ve survived and raise my son alone with no help from anyone. He kicked me when I was down many times so it’s hard for me to have any sympathy for a lazy, self centered drunk brother. He’s got a neighbor feeling sorry for him and feeding him and she keeps calling me to tell me how he’s such a good guy and he needs help. I want to tell her to mind her own business – I don’t know this lady and how dare she call me telling me to come take care of him. He’s 55 years old, divorced with no children and he can’t do a damn thing for himself except sit and drink and lose everything he owns because he’s lazy and wants everyone to think he’s dying of cancer. How do I turn my back on my own brother without feeling guilty and being manipulated?
Can anyone tell me the name of this manga? It might have been shounen-ai. I remember the cranky sake grandfather broke his leg. The brewer kept trying to force the salesman to drink. The hero’s other half worked with computers but was the son of the sake guy. It wasn’t completed at the time but may be now… I hope… 
My son is 8 yrs old, his father is an alcoholic/drug-addict so needless to say he isn’t always there for our boy. I have remarried in the last year and have 4 other children. The kids go to visit dad on fridays, well he is hardly ever there. He’s in and out of rehab, in and out of jail, facing prison time or military type treatment center. My son is really suffering over this, he says he hates God, he hates me, he hates his dad, he seems to hate everyone. He has no idea who he’s angry at. He says his dad isn’t even trying to get help, he doesn’t even want it. I try so hard to be patient with him, but sometimes hes so outrageous with the things he says. It seems as though he doesn’t care about anything right now. He see’s a therapist and a psychiatrist and I love him all the way through his tantrums, but my patients is wearing thin. We didn’t do anything, but yet we are the ones suffering through “dad’s” addiction. Advice??? Anyone??
How do I let my resentment go? How do I let him know that I do not want our 5 month old son to grow up and think that it is normal to drink every single day?
My sons fatheer has been an alcoholic since the day i met him, 12yrs ago although i did end up marrying him, and then divorced him he was not only physically abusive,but verbally, He calls my phone all night disrupting my home and also his moms home which is where he stays, but thats her problem not mine anymore. he refuses to get help cause he says we are in denial not him. How do you ignore him with tough love, but to where he wont harm himself? Mind you he has already been to prison from alcohol induced situations. he swears he aint going back and has done real well these last four considering he is on 2nd strike. He somehow manages to elude the police, by staying in his home all day everyday drinking every other. He just has no sense of morlality when he is drunk. Then who does. I have gotten to where i cant stand him. we are no longer together, Just maintaining a friendship/relationship for our son. But when he drinks he forgets and calls me all night. HELP, What do you do
I don’t know how to ask this question any other way? I am the youngest of 5 siblings. I am the ONLY one who not onl completed High School but went on to college and now am a career professional of 17+ years. Ok. that’s me. I decided to go to college because back at that time I had a boyfriend and his family that were not only supportive of me in school ( emotionally only not financially ) but showed enthusiasm with progress, showed interest. My mom told me out of high school that I should just get a full time job and not worry about college. ( not so sound advice back in the late 80′s.) My mom was more in shock when I completed my degree and of course was the proud mom. That was after I graduated of course.. with a nursing license in tow.
My siblings children for the most part have finished high school but that is it. It saddens me that ( 80% of us are girls ) are looking for men to take of them, meaning my neices don’t have aspirations, live check to check and do not want to go to college. One works as a secretary at a local shop and the other one works ar Walmart… and a handful of others are drug addicts.. It’s a sad mix of family…. my nephew who is 31 , and a known meth addict, with a prison record nobody should be proud of indicated he is now HIV+. His mother or my sister states “it’s becuase you can’t be to careful about who you sleep with”/ Lets be honest, is shoots up.
I am really saddened at the standards that my famly has. How is it that we were all raised by the same single mother and more or less the poverty cycle is just repeating itself? College for me was a choice because I wanted better. I knew I could do better….my family often thinks that “oh she makes good money because she is a nurse”. But guess what? They could of made similiar decisiion too. Why are thier standards soo soo soo low?
WHERE HERE DOES IT EQUATE BEING SMART WITH SCHOOL? IA ASKING WHY IS IT THAT MY FAMILY HAS SUCH LOW STANDARDS WHEN THAT IN ITSELF IS A CHOICE, JUST BECAUSE I CHOSE COLLEGE I ALSO BROKE OUT OF THE CYCLE OF POVERTY.
WHERE HERE DOES IT EQUATE BEING SMART WITH SCHOOL? IA ASKING WHY IS IT THAT MY FAMILY HAS SUCH LOW STANDARDS WHEN THAT IN ITSELF IS A CHOICE, JUST BECAUSE I CHOSE COLLEGE I ALSO BROKE OUT OF THE CYCLE OF POVERTY.
