How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

If your teenage son or daughter was doing any of the following, Which would you find LEAST BOTHERSOME

a) doing drugs/alcohol/drinking and driving
b) having multiple sex partners or homosexual
c) doing badly in school

why?

We’ve kept her son for 2 years. Suddenly, she thinks we should take him back to her when she has NO job, NO car, NO income and quit her last job after 6 hours plus smoked crack most of 2008. Her dad pays her rent and cell phone. She has been in her apt for one month.
She said, “where’s a knife? I want my baby back.” He’s ten and wants to stay with us. What should my excuse be for keeping him? She says she needs NO income because she eats all her meals at the homeless shelter next door!!! She lives in a rough neighborhood while we live in a gated community with school bus at our mailbox. I need one solid reply to her. You can’t “discuss” reasons because she starts yelling and her voice gets distorted. She’s obviously unstable but would never know it or admit it. The cocaine started when her boyfriend started moving away from her and she began stalking him by phone-50 calls a day. But, she’d say, that doesn’t mean she can’t care for her son. She goes, “don’t u think he should be with his mother?” but if I ask any questions she never answers; she just yells.

my friend has a 22 year old daughter, the mother at times has been finding alcohol bottles in her purse . when she confronts her daughter she says i don’t drink to the point it’s a problem and i don’t have a problem i told her to get her some help she has a 4 month old son but the mother cares for him. she says her daughter takes very good care of her son also.she has never seen her drunk and for her not finding the bottles she wouldn’t have known. she does not deny that it is her alcohol.is their such a thing as a functioning ????????? what should she do.

She’s not a close friend but her daughter is nearly part of our family. She’s hung out with my kids since she was about 8, and she is now 15. Her mother is drunk every day on vodka. She is a single mother and gets state aid, but uses the money for alcohol and drugs. Her daughter knows this but I try to keep things positive. I have hired her to study with my son so she has responsibilities and can earn money. This also keeps both their grades up. I also have her babysit some. This way I can tell her if she hangs out with druggies (there is a meth house 2 doors away from hers), then she can’t babysit, and she loves my kids so this works so far. Her mom ignores her, usually doesn’t care where she’s at or who she’s with. I’m always the one checking up on her, giving her money for school functions, paying for her school physical, pool pass, activity pass, and today her school pictures. Her mom has escaped the system many times from child abuse to drugs so that’s not the answer. But what is?

I recently found out from c.p.s. that my child had meth and t.h.c. in her system when she was born. The mother also told me that she had did meth with her son when she was pregnant. I dont want my daughter around drugs. She lives in her parents garage with my daughter.

I have a three bedroom apartment, i recently got hired for the federal goverment, I go to church, dont do drugs or alcohol. And have a good record, and driver lisense. She dosent have any of these.

She has four kids all from different fathers and one was taken away.

Okay, this one is a bit tricky folks…
I left when I was pregnant with my daughter and had a 2 year old son. I have had to deal with my ex husband totally ignoring our daughter’s existence for the past 7 years but wanting to have visitation with our son only. Paternity test done so no doubt about him being her dad. I moved out of state about 3 years ago, and have had to drive several hours up to drop off son on Friday night and then back Sunday night every other weekend with BOTH kids with me because I didn’t have anyone to watch my daughter. Ex husband would be within inches of our daughter each and every time and not even say hello or look at her. My ex husband was ordered into counsling to deal with this issue at time of divorce, because he stated then that he wanted no contact with her, but wanted to remain in his son’s life. He has not followed that order. I have begged him both on phone and written long letters over and over to be in his daughters life, to no avail. I recently stopped taking my son up there and told my ex that until he gets help I am no longer going along with this patholigical behaviour. I realize this means my son is without his dad, but overall my son seems to be okay because I have been totally honest and open with him and his sister and my son seems to be more concerned about his little sis and her well being,then not seeing his dad. So the question is, is am I wrong for suspending the visits with the father with my son? I just can’t take it anymore of going up there and my ex acting like his beautiful little girl isn’t even there in the room. I don’t have anyone to watch her so this is NOT an option. Even if I did, I feel like me continuing to support this jerk choosing only one of his children makes me accountable to my children for not stopping this sickness. My ex is an alcoholic as well. I already know that I am in violation of the divorce order but so is he, so that is not really my concern as much as the emotional/psycological aspect on my kids. I have both kids in counsling now since I made this decision to help them with this totally tremendouslly painful issue. I would like to hear from both dads and moms and your opinions about my choice to cut off the contact. I am not able to afford another attorney at this time, knowing that this WILL need to be addressed again in court, but for now I am just biding time. I am hoping to force my ex into getting the help he needs if he wants to be reunited with our son. I truly DO NOT mean to use my kids as weapons or pawns…I just don’t know what else to do after dealing with this in the hopes that their father would come around for 7 long years but still with no hope in site of any kind of reconsilliation. He absolutly totally refuses to be in her life in any respect…what else am I to do?

I am writing this to get some answers so I wont feeling guilty. Or sick to my stomach about this, My spelling is not great so i hope you can understand. My daughter is 18 I have no control any more over her no more. Now I like to start with this. In 1994 I was married and adopted a 2 year old girl named Trinity she was already my wife’s child. The first day I meant Trinity she has never seen me before. She called me Dada it made me feel really good she sure was beautiful. I was married for 6 months things were starting to go down hill really fast and to fast. My wife started to drink and having sex with other men and with their wife’s and doing drugs. She was starting to come home really late when i had to go to work. Starting to D U I’s going to jail spending a lot of time with her friends because she was bored at home. I had to do cook, clean babysit my daughter or she was at her grandma and grandpa house while I was at wot work. Mom would always call and convince Trinity to stay Grandparents house.

Okay now the story is going to get even better, 2003 I finely said no more I could not handle this no more. I told my wife that I need a divorce. Grandma came over and had my sign a temporary custody papers so I can work graveyards. SO I thought. Well she lived grandma for 4 years, in July in 2008 she had 4 heart attacks in one month not cool so we thought. I went to see her and to she how was doing. Found out that my daughter will be living with aunt and uncle. Man I was really upset and looking forward to having her move in with me and my wife that I am truly happy with. I wanted to find someone that would take Trinity my daughter in and have her now how it feels to have a mother that loves her. I thought grandma would want that for her granddaughter. I need to back up here a year and a half ago grandma said that you would have to have alot of money to pay for a lawyer to get you daughter to live with you. So don’t even try and take her. and that her son and daughter in law will get her in our well. Me and my wife was very up set.

Well her aunt and uncle had a really bad time with her trying to teach her the right way it did not work with them. I get a phone call from her she was really upset wanting to move in with us. That she could not handle her aunt no more. I did not understand why they were not getting along. So I said yes I been waiting for the longest time to have her move in. Okay she moved in June of 2007she turned 16 years of age in May 3rd.Bad timing 16 years old. Well a year and 4 months later okay here we go. We thought we could trust her, Me and my wife took a 3 week vacation and had everything hooked up so if she needed food money for gas it was bad all the dishes were dirty and on the table. There were red stains in the carpet plates and cups all over the floor. O and by the way i did end up sighing custody papers to have her live with me. But any ways our freezer was shut off and all the meat and other food was spoiled and there was water 6 inches deep. Orange juice was all over the outside walls and all over our patio. We had found beer cans, wine battles and drugs hidden in her room and behind our big T.V. So I found a place to see if I could get some help for her and get her a second chance in life and maybe we could be a family.

It took me two months to find it I was able to have our church help pay for it and me and my wife payed some to get her help. Well we took her there and boy it was a nightmare. And we said our good buys she said that she loved my wife and hugged her good buy. But she said F#@ you and flipped me off and said I will never see you again and want nothing to do with you. One month later we had family therapy over the phone. She said she loves us and misses us and all the work she was doing and going to try and graduate from high school there. And on our first visit she huged us and kissed me for the first time she had never kissed me before that made feel really good.

Well 8 months later she turned 18 we went and got her so she can come home. We had made plains to go to Montana for my in-laws 50 year Anniversary. Plus our family reunion for a week and half. Our therapist said perfect make sure she does not have a cell phone and any contact with friend it’s your family time together. well on our way home we Trinity had a family mamber getting baptized and Grandma and Grandpa were there. Well her aunt came up to us and told us maybe she not tell you but i going to tell you any ways Grandma gave her a cell phone and put her on their contract. It was one of those new touch screen phones. Well they said it was for her birthday and bla bla bla about it. i told them That she can’t have it she was not aloud to have one on this trip and she is all ready on a contract with us and she all ready has a new phone from last year. well uit was free and had a really good deal. I did not want to argue with her about it but a was v

She left 3 times to be with him. Now she’s homeless, drunk, and stupid. She called to say she’d kill me if I took him(my grandson) away. Is there anyone besides Welfare associates that can help me get custody? He is in danger if he goes back. I want him to stay with me and be safe and happy. Does anyone have a friend with legal advice that won’t cost me a million dollars? Just tell me what court house to go to , (not Dover, Maine) to file a motion for custody. thank you ( a worried Nana)

We live in Michigan… I was hoping we could do this without an attorney since all parties are willing to do this…. My husband is the only father my daughter has known(she’s only 5) and her bio -dad had been in prison and/or jail for the last 4 years… He finally realizes he isn’t a “father” for her and wants my husband to be her real dad now.we’ve went to court several times proving my ex is not a fit parent.(domestic violence against my son, broke a glass on his head, drugs, strong armed robbery, assaulting police offer, malicious destruction of property, stalking, the list goes on… Now he is finally taking the childs own well being into consideration….. I want to get this paperwork going asap, before my ex goes on another crack binge and changes his mind.. any advice?? thanks

I have two teenagers who I am scared to death of them falling in to the sex, drugs, and alcohol consuming culture. Most of all gangs and the like. I have told the kids about the dangers of all three areas, but am I doing enough? I try to lead by example, but is that still enough? Please advise.