How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

In August 2009 me and my husband went to court for custody of our son. Now when we separated, he said neither of us should file for custody and just work things out between us- next thing you know I have a subpoena at my door. So he tricked me. I was only 17 and he was 20, we both lived with our parents- my mom and I lived in a very crappy apartment complex and she was on disability, I didn’t have a job or a car. His family is very rich, he had a job and a car. He also told the judge that I used alcohol and marijuana, which he does too, but I didn’t say anything about him doing it, I didn’t have a chance to talk. Now obviously he got primary physical custody of our son and I got “visitation”. I still see my son almost every day of the week from the time he wakes up, around 9:30, and my husband brings him over until it’s time for him to nap- around 1. But the thing is when my husband picks him up from my house he only spends time with him for an hour or so, then drops him off at his grandparents’ house then goes to work, then his parents pick our son up and spend the rest of the day/night with him. My husband goes into work at 3 and doesn’t get off until 10:00 and he works about 6 days a week. So he’s not even spending time with him!

Since court I have rid all drugs and alcohol from my system, and have kept far away from them. I immediately applied for my own apartment when I turned 18. Now I’m all moved in. I still can’t find a job but I do get food stamps. My son has his own bedroom here and there’s plenty of food in my cabinets and clothes for him to wear and toys for him to play with. I’m working on getting my license and my boyfriend is signing his car over to me, although I might not have my license by the time I take my husband back to court. Now- I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my boyfriends’ baby. He’s about to get on the lease with me. My husband and I are getting a divorce as soon as we get the $750 (which he says will happen when he gets his taxes back)

Since I moved into my place (about 2 weeks ago) I told my husband that I wanted our son to start staying the night with me. He’s been bouncing around the subject since I brought it up. So I want to take him back to court. I at least want joint custody instead of “visitation”. The only thing is I can’t afford a lawyer. Do I need one? Is it possible for me to get custody? My son will be 2 next month, in case that makes a difference.Serious answers only please, this is very important to me. Thank you all!
He does have a lawyer, a good one. That’s been in his family for a while. I heard legal aid can help me out but idk if they pay for lawyers.

The thing is he’s not spending time with his son, he’s leaving his parents and grandparents to take care of him while he’s working. I’m home all the time and want to take care of him… it’s just not fair.

I know I don’t stand much of chance, I’m not giving up though. I don’t see why he gets to spend more time with his grandparents & great-grandparents as opposed to time with his mother… :/

I am a twenty four year old mother of a three year old boy. I was with his father for two years and shortly after I had my son he became violent and verbally abusive. He tried to kidnap my son once and has been trying to get him ever since I left about two years ago. We were never married. I love my son and He and I have been happy together. About a year ago I got fed up with not recieving child support so I went to a lawyer and when his dad saw I wanted child support he sued me for custody and weve been goign at it ever since. He never wanted anyhting to do with me or my son untill child support became an issue. I am so fearful My son will get taken from me. We go to trial in four weeks and I am so stressed I have trouble sleeping and eating. My sons father is an alcoholic and I dont want my son to grow up there with him and be influenced by that. I just want my son and I to have the peaceful and happy life we deserve.

During our divorce 7 years ago, my brother committed suicide. This worsened my depression & my Ex used “depression” & “migraines” as debilitating factor. I kept my son where he attended Kindergarden in TN. He seemed to be in the principles office because he got bored & disrupted class due to his ADDHD. The judge then ordered his father to put him in school in AL. where he had moved without my consent & put him on medication for his ADDHD which helped in his conduct. My sons father married as soon as our divorce was final. I lived with a boyfriend during the time my son stayed in AL with his father due to financial obligations. I had my own place for me & my son thereafter. My ex was awarded custody of my child and I had to pay child support. The support was based on me having an income from 2 jobs & I could barely make it. The child support office wouldn’t rehear the case for at least 6 months. After 7 yrs of employment, I was laid off & the support office told me I shouldn’t have the case reheared until I found another job since it would be based on my what my ability to make income was rather than unemployment checks. I changed professions, & make half what I used to. My support was lowered, but based on a current job at that time where they took into consideration a commission that I didn’t make. I have now worked for the United States Postal Service for 2years. If my depression & migraines were so debilitating, then how have I always maintained a job? The judges words were that, my son didn’t need to be in an environment where he would be exposed to depression that lead my brother to suicide. My brother did not take medication for his depression. I feel like I have been hurt by seeking medical attention so I can be a better mother, sister, aunt, worker, daughter…etc. The judge stated that since my ex had intentions of remarriage that it would be a more stable environment for our son. No matter the reasons for our divorce, my ex and his wife abuse alcohol. My ex took everything I worked for after I paid off his debt. I wasn’t ordered anything I had before the divorce. My ex make 4 times as much money as I do. I even proved his inability to manage money by old credit reports then showed my credit report compared to his current one that enabled him to purchase a 275k home in AL. I have lived with my boyfriend because of financial reasons for the past 5 years. My ex has always allowed my son to come on weekends, all school breaks, and all summer. My son just turned 12 & wants to live with me. My son mentioned to his father & he was intimidated into thinking he should never ask to move back to TN again. My ex is now seeing someone else b4 his 4th wife has moved out. My son complained of his step-mom slinging him up against the wall & whipping him as well as verbal abuse. His father threatens him to keep quite & not tell me things. His father is 12 yrs older than me. His dad has been a good father, but now is preoccupied with another relationship that he has already exposed our son to. I feel his lack of commitment to a wife will affect our sons future outlook on stability. His father no longer has him in any sport activities which he is very good at. Two states are involved and my ex has a lot more financial ability to fight me in the custody case just like during our divorce. My ex prolonged the divorce for 2.5 years until I had NOTHING….no more funds to fight. I will just make it, if I need to move out & get my own place, but any child support that I would get from my ex would enable me to support my son & give him close to the same standard of living he has been used to with his father. I don’t know what to do since I have limited income to seek legal advice.
What state do I file for a motion for custody amendment. Do I need an attorney? What process do I go through if my son wants to tell the judge he wants to live with me. My son will testify of abuse his step-mother put him through. I am in no way “dis” ing another’s relationship, just trying to give all the details from both sides.

My son’s father is currently living 3 hours away. He doesn’t have his own place of residency. I keep our 9 month old all of the time and his dad comes to see him every weekend. His dad has asked me several times if he could take our son for a week or so, but I have always been very hesitant. He likes to go out & party, and I had to make him understand that he can’t just leave our son w/ his mother so he can go out and do whatever he wants. I wouldn’t be so hesitant if he lived closer, but I don’t know how he would manage w/ our son in the car for 3 hours…plus he smokes. He usually stops and smokes outside, but I think that he’d actually smoke w/ our son in the car. It makes me so mad that he can’t go 3 hours without a cigarette! Also, he doesn’t support our son financially. He doesn’t buy diapers, food, clothes, or anything. Most of the stuff he brings our son is stuff his mother buys for him.

If he did take our son for a week, would I have to give him supplies for the baby or should he pay for those things? Because I also have to send wipes, diapers, & food to daycare for him. And it’s not like my son’s dad can afford it, anyway. He’s barely working. He spends the little money he does have on alcohol, cigarettes, and other frivolous things. He’s very irresponsible.

I’ve never told my son’s dad that he can’t see his son. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want him taking my son for a long time & so far away. But then again, I don’t want to get caught up in a nasty legal situation. Whenever we fight, he tells me that he’ll take me to court to get partial custody of our son & that he’d pay child support so that he can. And not because he wants to pay child support/go to court or anything…but he’d do it just to spite me! I figured that if he really wanted to support his son financially, then he’d already be doing it. I don’t want my son in the care of this loser, but at the same time, I want to avoid a nasty situation. What should I do?!

My baby’s dad is an alcoholic and I know his liver is damage from his drinking, not only that I got an PFA on him for his abuse on me. I don’t want to hurt him with the baby I just want the courts to help me to order him to get treatments for his alcohol, depression and there is a chance that he is bi-polar. He is not ready to be a dad but he did watch my other son, while I worked on the weekends. The only bad side is he left my son home alone so he can go to the bar to drink and that is when the abuse started. I had to come home from work and did not make money because of his drinking. I want him to have supervised visitations because he will drink if he does not have his visitations supervise and with his drinking he will not be able to care for our baby. I going to file full sole custody of the baby next month so when the baby is born my attorney can schedule a hearing date for custody. Should I file child support in the baby’s dad’s condition. He has threaten suicide on me.

My son’s dad has only seen him once in the past year and a half, he doesn’t pay child support or carry him on his insurance. He’s remarried and has a child with the new wife. He’s an alcoholic and I don’t think it’s good for my son to be around him. How can I get sole custody?

My son’s dad has only seen him once in the past year and a half, he doesn’t pay child support or carry him on his insurance. He’s remarried and has a child with the new wife. He’s an alcoholic and I don’t think it’s good for my son to be around him. How can I get sole custody?

My son’s father (which I refer to as DNA Donor) has just recently threatened to get a lawyer in order to see my son who is now 14 months old. We split up (were never married) when I was around 3 months pregnant because he was an alcoholic and told me to have an abortion (which I do have witnesses). I was the one who asked (3 days ago) if he wanted some pics of his son and to know a little about him, and he said yes. (I know, I screwed up.) So, I sent him a few pics and some info about my wonderful son (all through phone/text) and he said he would like to see him and I told him I wasn’t ready for that because I did NOT want my son around an alcoholic. That is when he blew up and said let me see my son or you will be talking to my lawyer. This is the first contact we have had since I was 3 months pregnant. Child support is taken from his check/paternity was established. (Paternity was established a year ago). I do NOT want him in our lives, can I keep him out? I just thought I would be nice and wanted to keep things civil, at a distace! His name is not on the birth certificate. Can he get rights to see my son? How do I fight it if he tries? Help!
I do NOT call my sons father a DNA donor in front of him. I don’t even mention his father in front of him. He is 14 months old now, and that is what bothers me because he never wanted to see him before, why now?? His name is on the birth certificate due to the paternity test. I have always been a strong believer that a child should have both parents in his life, but his father drinks every night to the point of passing out and has been previously charged with attempted manslaughter (years ago) and doesn’t even have a license gue to DWI’s. My fear is that my son will like his father’s party life when he is older and decide that is who he wants to be with. He asked what he could do in order to see his son, and the only thing I asked of him was to get sober…and then he brought up the lawyer. If he can’t even get sober for his own son…it just scares me.

The parenting plan my child’s father filed with his petition has a lot of ‘rules for visitation’ that completely contradict his lifestyle. Is this something that can help if proven? For example, there is a rule about not drinking prior to or during visiting/custody time, thing is HE is an alcoholic. His family drinks all the time and I’ve no doubt he would be spending a lot of time with them when he has our son.

My ex and I are no longer together and now he wants custody of our son. This is just being done to get back at me. I am in no way an unfit mother and have already raised my oldest son on my own, who is now 18 years old and away at college. He wants to win custody so he can avoid paying child support and wants to send my son to Africa to be raised by his mother. He has 2 jobs and works 6 days a week. He has no other family in this country to help raise my son. He seems to think he will win because he has a good job. I am not working and I am a nursing student with a large wonderful family and love my son dearly. I am a very very good mother, no record no abuse no drugs no alcohol, nothing. Can he actually win custody and take my son to Africa? We have a pending case in court now. I have addressed this point in court. Will they take his side over mine and let him send my son away?

He is an alcoholic who is not taking care of our children properly when in his care, his house is not liveable and is in filthy condition, he does not provide proper supervision for the children ages 10 and 13, he does not enforce any rules with them, or make my son take his adhd medication when he is there, among other things. He is almost always drunk when he is around them. My children need to be taken out of this bad situation and into my custody so that they can be well taken care of. I just don’t know where to start!!!

My ex and I have a child together but have split up. I have been the primary caretaker since our son was born, but now we are going to family court to discuss custody. We have never been married but his name is on the birth certificate.

My ex is an alcoholic but is currently seeking therapy for this. However, he is an emotionally abusive and angry man and I am afraid this will negatively affect our son. But how do I prove this to a judge? Would they even care about this since he is not PHYSICALLY abusive?
job edwards you are very bitter towards women. i’m sorry your ex was like that but there is no need to make such a huge assumption about me.

from looking at your answers to other people i can see that you enjoy being a pill.

I’m young, (20), and married to a young man as well, (19). He has walked out several times just because he “doesn’t feel like being married anymore.” I always go after him and he comes back but later tells me he wishes I would just let him go. He left again this morning. We have a two year old child together. My question is, can I get full custody over our son? I am a stay at home mom, and have been that way the whole 2 and a half years we’ve been married. No boyfriends or drugs, alcohol, nothing like that. I love my son and can’t imagine him not being with me. I don’t care about child support. I just want to know that if we divorce, rather I will have my son?

My ex filed for divorce in Az; I didn’t contest it & I allowed him to have full custody of both of my sons. 3 years later, he moved to Las Vegas, NV & didn’t tell anyone until almost 4 years later. In the mean time, I moved home to Va & ever since then he has refused to allow me to visit my boys. He is an alcoholic (he has DUI’s) & has had many arrests in the past 10 years. He fled AZ because he has warrants there & owes someone 7yrs. of back child support. My child support to them is current (it goes directly to AZ). I don’t know anything about NV or where to file to get my rights inforced. I believe that the boys would be better off with me so that there dad can get the treatment he needs. Can someone help me, this is just not fair to my boys or myself?
I am low income & do not have the money it will take to hire an attorney. Do you know anyone who will take my case for free or someone out there who just wants to do a good deed like Oprah?

My husband left me and my 2 week old son last week. He has a previous arrest for domestic violence and a DUI. He is not a credible individual and has a problem with alcohol. What are the laws regarding child custody? Am I garunteed full custody due to these circumstances? I am meeting with a lawyer this week to ensure my son is in my complete care and my husband only gets visitation rights. Can someone explain to me what the laws are regarding who gets full custody and who doesn’t?

My ex filed for divorce in Az; I didn’t contest it & I allowed him to have full custody of both of my sons. 3 years later, he moved to Las Vegas, NV & didn’t tell anyone until almost 4 years later. In the mean time, I moved home to Va & ever since then he has refused to allow me to visit my boys. He is an alcoholic (he has DUI’s) & has had many arrests in the past 10 years. He fled AZ because he has warrants there & owes someone 7yrs. of back child support. My child support to them is current (it goes directly to AZ). I don’t know anything about NV or where to file to get my rights inforced. I believe that the boys would be better off with me so that there dad can get the treatment he needs. Can someone help me, this is just not fair to my boys or myself?
I am low income & do not have the money it will take to hire an attorney. Do you know anyone who will take my case for free or someone out there who just wants to do a good deed like Oprah?

My sons dad wasnt around for the first 3 years, then around for a year but didnt follow through with visits. Now has disappeared again for a year and is now asking for visitation. He owes me 23,000 in back child support and does drugs and is an alcoholic. I am asking for supervised visitation. But I read that that in general that is for physical abusers. Do you think I have a chance to get this?

I am 23 years old, and am concerned that if something happens to my mom custody of my six-year old brother would go to her abusive/alcoholic ex-husband. Can she write a valid will at home to give me custody just in case? Her ex-husb. has a long criminal record incl. repeat DUI, DWI, Drunk in Public, and Possession charges, so maybe I don’t need to even worry, because a court would see that he is unfit. I work full-time, have my own car, and make enough to support my brother & I, so I like to think I could get custody. Still, I want to know how I can get a will for her done, we don’t have the money for a lawyer….Thanks!

My husband and I are trying to get full custody of his son. The mother is on drugs, was arrested last year for pos. of meth, and then indicted this year. We have pictures that show where she put bruises all over my step-son’s legs for spilling something on a new rug. Her and her mom have taught Dalland, my step-son, to act like a girl. He hardly plays with boy toys, he is attracted to girl things. He is better some, but he gets picked on at school. We just don’t know what to do. We have a lawyer, but we don’t have the money to go to court. Is there anyway around the money issue?

I am 23 years old, and am concerned that if something happens to my mom custody of my six-year old brother would go to her abusive/alcoholic ex-husband. Can she write a valid will at home to give me custody just in case? Her ex-husb. has a long criminal record incl. repeat DUI, DWI, Drunk in Public, and Possession charges, so maybe I don’t need to even worry, because a court would see that he is unfit. I work full-time, have my own car, and make enough to support my brother & I, so I like to think I could get custody. Still, I want to know how I can get a will for her done, we don’t have the money for a lawyer….Thanks!