A perfect storm of disaster has just occurred in my marriage.
My wife is a bit younger than me (she’s 37), and is EASILY considered the more attractive one of us (and im not ugly by any stretch) – So I’ve always had these insecurities, but they had never even come close to coming true, and we have a 15 year old son. Pretty much a great marriage.
2 Days before this occurred I went off on a business trip meant to last 4 days.
The night before I was scheduled to come home, she tells me she was going to have a girl’s night out (our son and his friend who would spend the night). Which was fine by me, as that had always involved just watching a chick flick with her friends.
This time however unbeknown to me they had decided to go out drinking.
I’m still trying to gather everything that went on but here is so far what I’ve more or less confirmed:
-The group’s 25yr old grad student friend took them to a frat party.
-Binge drinking ensued, and she’s never EVER held her alcohol well.
-She suggested that the people there (30 or so) move the party to a local club 2 miles away, because they’d all get in without much hassle since (my) cousin and (my) close friend both co-own the club.
-When at the club, (supposedly) even heavier drinking continued.
- the bar screen has a the Yankee-Redsox game in extra innings. The guys were all sox fans and decided to propose that if the yankees won, the guys would all strip down, but if the redsox won, the girls would all go topless. The girls agreed.
-The Redsox won the game (4/24/09′s game), and that’s when things really got crazy. Most of the girls out right refused and never meant it seriously anyway. One girl went down to her bra. – My wife was last to go, again making things worse as now more and more of the hundreds (maybe thousands, as its a REALLY big place and the only one near our town)- And she apparently didn’t hesistate to take her shirt off while dancing.
-Apparently everyone then started prodding her to go further and started commenting on the size of her breasts (they are very large, and before this incident used to be on of my favorite features of her), this apparently made her loss all her inhibition and she started dancing like some stripper and threw her bra clean off.
-As insane as this all was, apparently that was just the start, as guys tried to put money in her and get close to her and grope her, she apparently fed off the attention and went all the way down down to her thong, and then completely naked while dancing on a table infront of everyone!
She was eventually told to get off the table. She put her underwear back on (no bra at this point as apparently she flung it too far into the mob) and was apparently very heavily gropped throughout all of this by what my estimate was at least 40 different guys, many of which it turns out are actually loose acquaintances of us or our families.
She continued to drink and do all she was dared to do by some of the frat guys, such as hook up with her girlfriends, or take bodyshots.
Eventually she got beyond drunk (guys kept buying her drinks), and told her friends she was going to go to the bathroom. Her friends finally noticed something was wrong when she hadn’t come back in over 20 minutes.
They looked and she wasn’t in the bathroom, but they did notice a strange amount of guys going to a side room. When they got in, she was passed out on the floor, spread out completely naked. The room was filled with at least 8 girls and 20 guys, 3 of which were bouncers, who ALL KNOW OUR SON. 2 of them are older brothers (that she used to babysit) to 2 of his best friends, and the third one is his phys ed teacher and wrestling coach.
She was being groped and fondled all over by several of them and one of them was preparing a condom. Her friends immediately bailed her out (though without any clothing whatsoever, it was all lost), and it remains unclear what occured before they got there. I’ve heard some very disturbing things that i suspect may be true.
One of her friends threw her into a cab and took her home. Apparently she woke up briefly around this time as she got out of the cab infront of our house, – and while still completely naked started making a seen which caused several of the neighbors entire families (2 of which are coworkers, that were some of the people that first informed me what went down) to look out side and see her standing nude. Several of the highschool and college kids that walk around at that time also saw her.
THANKFULLY our son was asleep, and my secretary that was babysitting my son and his friend let my drunken wife in.
She immediately rushed her to the bed and put a sheet on her while she went back to the kitchen to fetch alka seltzer and a bucket.
When she got back 5 minutes later, the nightmare gets worse. My son’s friend had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom and has was staring at her full bore. The sheet was off my wife (it’s n
The character limit cut off my question.
I still love her dearly, but I am humiliated and embarrassed and angry.
Part of me wants to leave her. Part of me wants to save our marriage even if this involves moving.
I dont know what to do. My heart is in conflict with my mind.
-edit # 2
I am most scared for my son, as I know how cruel highschool kids can be should they decide to reveal what they saw.
Ive already gotten an email with some pictures that are captioned with her full name and the town.
She has never done something like this before, and to my knowledge has always been faithful to the max.
Im getting more and more paranoid that something else happened though.
Thank you to those of you who are giving actual advice.
3rd edit-
When she was confronted she first tried out right denial, but the reason I know so many details is because many people unfortunately took pictures. Hence the email i received. She then tried to say that she didn’t remember, and she is ofcourse using the liquor as an excuse, but she is very apologetic.
I have set up marriage counseling but at this point I’m not even sure If im going to go.
Im again– afraid that no matter what happens our son will get hurt.
And finally, regarding what one very helpful reply said- Yes I am scared something like that did happen. If not penetration, then orally.
I can’t explain how much I love her and how good she’s always been, but I really don’t know anymore guys. Your advice so far has been very helpful though. – thank you.
edit-4
After reading some of the harsher remarks, I guess another thing that is bothering me is this:
I was basically the only person she was ever intimate with. Some people thought she was just a trophy wife at first but we’ve always been so close for such a long time.
I feel as if now that is cheapened with what these others men got to see and do. She was never even remotely like this even when we were dating. Always took it slow, so I feel like she isn’t as exclusive now.
Do you guys think that if I decide to stay with her that I have to move? we’ll be bumping into some of these people a lot. Thanks for the feedback guys. I’m still heart broken.
