My boyfriend & have have been together for 8 months now. When we first met it was like love at first sight. I really believed this guy was right for me. He almost ammediately began to tell me he was in love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Not long after that he began to tell me I needed to settle down. I have a 4 year old son & I went out every now and then with my best friend to escape from my hectic work life. I am twenty one years old and he is the same. He begant to put in my head that going out was wrong and that I party too much. Eventually started telling me that my friends were alcoholics and bad influences and were going to get me in trouble. Loving him dearly I agreed and stayed away from them. Now we live together things have gotten much worse. If i don’t come home on time I am with a guy. He constantly disrespects me by calling me names and won’t let me have anytime without him. He always says I am untrustworthy. This is alot deeper and scarier.Advice???
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My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 3 years and we continue to struggle both because of his depression and alcohol abuse and because of my difficult son. I can say that I love him completely and he loves me. He wants to stop drinking and to be happy but doesn’t know how to get there. He has asked me to support him and stay by his side because that is what people who love eachother do. The difficulty with my son is apt to not get better any time soon as he is 13 and is emotionally disabled. I want him to approach the situation with empathy and understanding but he often thinks my son just needs a good whooping. I just wonder if people should stay together because they love eachother or if it is better to have goodness of fit rather than passionate love.
I am having the hardest time getting over it. He was so in love with me and then out of the blue started using bad drugs (meth) and one day just left!! He left me with our 3 yr old son and now he has a new girlfriend (a known drug addict). I can’t seem to understand how he could do this to me, what should I do to get over it…
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we have been living together for one year. He drinks every night. When he runs out of beer he hits up the liquer cabinet and when that is empty he gets those little souvenir bottles of liquer and drinks those. He doesn’t act insane when he drinks but every so often his insecurity of women kicks in. Drunk or sober I am blamed for everything that goes wrong. He can turn anything around on me that I have nothing to do with. He is insecure about himself and about us. He has a really bad relationships in the past with ex-girlfriends and his ex-wife. They all seem to have cheated on him. I have never given him a reason to think that I would do anything to jeopardize our relationship or hurt him. I have a 4 year old son who adores him and knows him to be his father. I don’t know what to do. I love this guy with all my heart. When I point out the issues that he needs to work on I seem to be the bad guy. I need advise. What do I do?
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we have been living together for one year. He drinks every night. When he runs out of beer he hits up the liquer cabinet and when that is empty he gets those little souvenir bottles of liquer and drinks those. He doesn’t act insane when he drinks but every so often his insecurity of women kicks in. Drunk or sober I am blamed for everything that goes wrong. He can turn anything around on me that I have nothing to do with. He is insecure about himself and about us. He has a really bad relationships in the past with ex-girlfriends and his ex-wife. They all seem to have cheated on him. I have never given him a reason to think that I would do anything to jeopardize our relationship or hurt him. I have a 4 year old son who adores him and knows him to be his father. I don’t know what to do. I love this guy with all my heart. When I point out the issues that he needs to work on I seem to be the bad guy. I need advise. What do I do?
We have an adorable 9 month old baby, he went into rehab by choice 2 weeks before I had our son, after 10 years of heavy cocaine and alcohol usage. He came home a totally different person, he used to be my best friend and now he barely talks to me about anything personal, he won’t tell me how he feels, all we talk about is the baby and the weather. He is completely detached from me and it breaks my heart, I want so badly to be there for him but he won’t let me, the only person he will talk to is his mother. I can’t go on like this, I don’t understand why, I think maybe he doesn’t want me to be a trigger, or that he is following the 12 step program rule that you should not be in a relationship for the first year of sobriety. 3 months away from his 1 year sober and I don’t think I can do it anymore I feel like a roomate not an equal partner. Help.
He smokes weed, drinks everyday, snorts cocaine and he is never at home. I pay all of the bills and buy the groceries. He cooks and cleans occasionally. I work 40+ hours a week and he works 0. I am pregnant with his son, due in September and my lease is up in August. He has made no effort to help me. He sometimes gives his friends hundreds of dollars and he gives me a few dollars rarely and then expects me to pay him back immediately and them whenever they can. He has 4 other kids from 4 other women he does not take care of.
So my boyfriend has a little brother who is 5 and he 19 but he has always taken care of him, and he can’t make him mind AT ALL!. It drives me crazy, Tim can’t make teddy go to sleep at a good time, he stays up and watches cartoons in till 5 IN THE MORNING. He’s so sneaky, he will sneak out and watch TV when Tim is asleep and Tim will find teddy pass out on the couch when he gets up to use the bath room. I don’t live with him, but I can hear teddy saying no to Tim all the time and its 2 in the Moring. It gets on my nerves sooooooooooo BAD. I told him to take away his toys and not give them back in till he minds. Tim lives with his dead beat dad and 2 other brothers who don’t help out at all. So it’s just Tim all the time taking care of teddy when it should be his father. the mother is gone no one can find her because she’s on meth…So I told Tim that teddy should be in bed by nine, and teddy doesn’t even have a room to himself he sleeps in his brothers rooms for Christ sake. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY LISTENING TO IT. He gets no respect from teddy, I told Tim you should spank him (not with a belt) but just do it! He needs to know who the boss which teddy thinks he is. I HATE IT!!! I’m pulling my hair out over here, I’m seriously thinking about breaking up with him if he won’t take care of it. I don’t know what to do. PLEASE HELP ME
Back in April, he started calling in sick quite frequently and I noticed he has been doing cocaine, I have found two bags of cocaine in my bedroom, he has never paid me anything for his half of the rent or utilities and he thinks it is fair that I pay for everything. He is making my son and I very uncomfortable, i want to kick him out but I am scared, I am trying to find the right words, can you give me advice?
My ex boyfriend is trying to get visitation on our 2 year old son. I really don’t trust him because he is an alcoholic and he’s very irresponsible. I fear of him taking him by himself and drinking around my son and driving while my son is in the car. And my ex still stays with his grandma which is not a good environment. There is junk and trash all over the place. And inside their is too. I mean really poor environment. I told him if he wanted to see his son he can see him at my house. But he refused. I’m not trying to keep him away from our son, i just don’t trust him by himself with him. If he takes me to court what can i do to get supervised visitations? By the way i’m the state of GA.
By the way he only thinks he suppose to pay child support and do nothing else for our child. My family basically helps all the time. And he does nothing but cause drama.
i am struggling to know how to handle this well. background briefly – i left my husband 2 years ago he is an alcoholic and was involved with other women online and using text sex lines etc and i think meeting them. he wasnt prepared to stop. it was amicable as it could be kids see him and he spends xmas with us, has a gf now he lives with. i quite quickly became involved with a man i had loved a long time ago who was a friend in an unhappy marriage. we took it very very slow with the kids, he does not live with us, it was a long time before they even saw us hold hands. only in last 8 months maybe have they seen him stay over. my daughter age 10 is very happy and genuinely has no prob with it. we are very careful they see nothing inappropriate. it is a loving relationship but the physical side has never been in their face. but my son who is 12 has probs with it he asks if we wear pjs in bed (yes) and if we get undressed in front of each other – i tell him no. well he does like my bf and has a good relationshio with him tells him he loves him etc. but last night long after kids in bed we were making love (very quietly and under covers) when my son burst in and turned on the light and said, what are you doing and tried to pull the covers off us. we quickly covered up but it was obvious what was going on. he burst into tears and sat on teh end of the bed and it was an hour of ttears and him not talking to us before we got him settled back in bed. although i was cross at him obviously trying to catch us out i didnt tell him off cos he clearly got probs wit this. after half an hour he came back in and shouted ‘what are you doing now? i can hear you, im not stupid i know whats going on’. well nothing was going on luckily. but honestly, how do i handle this? he is now saying that he will never be happy while i am with my bf, that he would prefer it just the three of us, that it is not like his dad being here (well i know that and really, given how these things can go we are all, y ex included, trying to make it the best posible sort of break up. ) but i know these things are awful for kids, and y son and i have always been close but i can see that being damaged now but also i can see that his responses are crossing a line. he is being very controlling of what i can and cant do and follows me everywhere. can this be resolved? has anyone been through this that can give me advice? do i give up my bf? ( i do really really deeply ove him but i not want to damage my son any more) any advice at all please help cos i have tried to be considerate of my son, he is almost all we ever talk about or worry about – but it getting me nowhere and i am feeling resentful now which i know is awful. thanks for reading.
from his mother….She was a crack head for years and years, and he pretty much had to grow up really really fast, and I feel like I get the end of that anger because of this mother – girlfriend paradox. I have a son with him, but I was just wondering, what he could do to deal with it. He drinks alot, which I told him isnt good, and I think he should stop. He also smokes alot too, but he uses the drinking to sleep. He doesn’t talk about his feelings, he’ll just talk about how he was on his own, at a young age and I feel like our relationship is getting shut out, because of this continuation of this past. What should I do?
I 1st met my boyfriend 2yrs ago, he had just stopped doing meth and had even been in jail months before because of it. he said he had quit because he realized how much it messed up his life and all the things he lost because of it. well here recently he has befriended this guy at work, he told me the guy has offered to get him meth and he told him no, but here lately he’s been acting odd. he’s been salting a big companys parking lot when it snows because its part of his job, well here lately he’s been licking his lips alot, saying his whole body hurts, and one night he had to stay up all night scraping and salting this companys parking lot, he worked for over 24hrs straight without sleep, he slept when he got home. but i looked at his phone last night cause him and his new “friend” have been texting and calling each other alot. one of the texts he asks his friend “is there anymore of that good around?” and another one he asks “whens the snow coming?”. i confronted him about this and he denied it all. he said i should trust him more than that, and that i dont understand how him and his friend text each other so i shouldn’t accuse him. he said he licks his lips cause they are staying chapped because he works out in the cold weather so much. but just tonight we were having dinner at his moms house and he was talking alot, she said “son, your hyper as hell” and he just made the excuse that he was happy to be able to spend time with us cause he’s been working so much. he still eats and sleeps, but i remember him telling me a long time ago that he had learned to do that when he use to smoke it cause his mom and boss was onto him, so he started eating while he was on it. do you think he’s on it? how can i tell? i’m sure he will be sure to keep any texts that refer to drugs deleted. i want so badly to think he’s not lying, but i have a very bad feeling about this. what are the signs that he’s on any kind of upper at all? like coke, meth or crack? please dont leave me smart@ss replies. i told him to begin with if he ever did meth again i would leave him in a second and never speak to him again.
another thing i forgot to put is that he’s been sweating like crazy, even when its not hot in the house, he blames it on being out in the cold weather so much that his body temp is messed up.
My mother in law’s boyfriend drinks excessively, he smokes weed, he occasionally does cocaine, he can’t keep a job and he mooches off my mother in law. I just don’t want my 2 year old son around him at all. How do I keep my son away without having to stop going to family functions. Can I tell my husband’s family they must choose between him or my son? They all seem to like the loser!
Yes i have talked to my husband about it and he says that i don’t need to worry about it right now until the next holiday. I am just worried because i know they all (including my husband) think that I am being a drama queen since i don’t like the guy and I am afraid they will choose him over us.
My mother in law’s boyfriend drinks excessively, he smokes weed, he occasionally does cocaine, he can’t keep a job and he mooches off my mother in law. I just don’t want my 2 year old son around him at all. How do I keep my son away without having to stop going to family functions. Can I tell my husband’s family they must choose between him or my son? They all seem to like the loser!
Yes i have talked to my husband about it and he says that i don’t need to worry about it right now until the next holiday. I am just worried because i know they all (including my husband) think that I am being a drama queen since i don’t like the guy and I am afraid they will choose him over us.
my boyfriend keeps promising me that he will change. He says I need to trust him. I try to but every time he does go out he stays out and gets so drunk sometimes to the point he passes out somewhere. We have a son and he is still young so I don’t want to give up yet but how does a person deal with an alcoholic? Sometimes he gets real nasty when he drinks. I pray for him but how can I help him and our family?????
I am month pregnant and my boyfriend and I live together and are relatively happy, but nearly every weekend I have been pregnant he has gone out and left me alone in our house beside myself, he comes in at rediculous times absolutely out of his mind, i know he take cocaine even though when I ask him about it he denies it, but I have proof because his bank balance is down, I have read messages on his phone asking friends/dealers if they can get him any and I know all his friends do it. I was no angel, I took nearly coke everyweekend before I found out I was pregnant, as soon as I found out I sorted myself out and got help because I want to be the best possible mother to my unborn son.
I just wish my boyfriend who I love so much would sort himself out the way I have, I dont want my babies dad to be like this what can I do? Any advice. He is a lovely guy really and the last 2 week has been by myside 24/7 but I read a message on his phone from the weekend from when his mates came over!
Me and my boyfriend been together for almost 3 years. He used to have a really bad problem with meth. He stopped using once i found out i was pregnant with our son. after about a year he relapsed. he told me he was sorry and didn’t now what he was thinking.
About a few days ago he will go out for hours and go to his friends house that i know uses. He will be gone all day until i call and ask him what is he doing. His pupils are also really ddilatedand hasn’t eaten much. He will stay up most of the night then come to bed only to have sex. He does all these weird things like when i woke up this morning he had jackets all layed out as if there were people in them. Like on the computer and the couch. I confronted him but tells me that he hasn’t been on anything and i need professional help cuz im crazy. im about ready to leave with our son cuz he doesn’t need to be around that. But am i over reacting or does he sound like hes on meth?
How do I let my resentment go? How do I let him know that I do not want our 5 month old son to grow up and think that it is normal to drink every single day?
MY BF of 2 yrs was was running marathons when we first met after having had a weight loss of 150 lbs! I knew he had previous weight issues but was impressed by his ability to lose the weight and start running. NOW he is back up over 100 lbs and terribly obese. We can’t have normal intercourse because his belly is so big I can’t get around it! I also find myself being embarrassed by him in public. He sits with his legs wide apart and sweats heavily because of his weight.
He really is a great guy otherwise, so I am not ready to give up on him.
He was previously on a weight loss program (JC) but it stopped working after awhile, probably because he cheated. He has little self control when it comes to food. His teenage son is also obese with health problems.
I have played the ‘nagging’ role and it isn’t working. I believe he sneaks
food and binge eats when we are not together. We do not live together so I do not know what he actually eats.
Anyway, I feel badly because I find the man I love to be so repulsive.
What can I do?
