How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My friend just got out of rehab for Suboxone and crack cocaine abuse about a month ago after checking in voluntarily having realized he needed help (Suboxone was the primary problem, the crack was just a drug he did in tandem with it.) . He’s been really good about staying away from both as well as the people who facilitate his abusive behavior so far. We’ve gone to the bars a few times since or had some beers at my place with no noticeable problems on his end about cravings. However, his father called me and told me I need to stop drinking with him entirely, for good, or he will do his best to separate the two of us; saying that as an addict the alcohol will lead him either back to those drugs or to alcoholism. We’re both 21 and college students so he’s not a minor that can be forcibly controlled by his parents, but in the same right his father is doing what he thinks he needs to to keep his son safe. I am skeptical about whether he really should never drink again, or whether his father is operating under the assumption that my friend is simply unable to control any of his behavior and, in doing so, being overprotective.

His father got the information about it from the former drug user that leads the family IOP meetings he attends having completed his voluntary rehabilitation. Unlike my friend who realized he had a problem before he ruined his life, this guy lost his family, friends, job, etc. and then went to rehab. He got out clean and sober and then relapsed one night after having 3 or so beers. So to me it seems like this person sees every member of his group as a worst case scenario of someone who hit rock bottom. I realize that he is talking from experience, but I also realize that not all drug users are the same, and that not all are so unable to control their impulses; seeing as how my friend has had a few drinks so far with no desire to relapse. However, his father takes every possible piece of advice in any context as applicable to his son’s own situation and demands that he not drink at all and that I refuse to drink with him entirely. Drinking is a bit of a ritual for us in that once or twice a month we get together and have a few beers down town or at one of our houses and just play video games or chat, so to stop entirely is completely possible, but not desirable on either end.

I’m just looking for professional advice or regular opinions on all this:

Is it true that no drug addict should drink after rehabilitation under any circumstances even if alcohol was never a problem for them?

If so, should they refrain from drinking for good or just take time away from it until their life is back in order?

Should I refuse to drink with him at all?

Am I in the wrong for thinking that he can drink without worrying about his former drug addiction?

All responses are greatly appreciated, thanks.

My divorce was final yesterday and I’ve been dating someone… He’s every thing I want in a man and treats me with respect unlike my abusive and alcoholic ex. My son (not of the marriage) is five and absolutely loves him and wants us to get married…should I spend more time alone and casually date for a while before committing to a relationship? I really could settle down with this guy but am afraid of getting into another relationship without making sure I am healthy first. HELP!

After a 20 year marriage where drinking was an issue at times but the last year was drowned in crystal meth I left my then husband to protect my children. They are now young adults. I never went through the final chapter because he threatened to take my then teenage son away. I was stupid enough to believe that could happen. I know the answer already.

My sons father is a criminal, addicted to meth, and assaulted me in my home while I had the baby in my arms. I called the police they took him to jail for warrants out of another county. I didnt pursue the charges but did file a report…I know I was an idiot, but was just happy that he would be in jail for what I thought was a couple of years. Boy was I wrong, he only served 3 months in jail, he is due out next week. My son and I moved after the assault….will I be in trouble for moving? He doesnt know our address and frankly, Im worried if he knows where I am living he will come back and this time things will be worse. We have a case with the TX attorney General, he is 15 grand behind on child support, the papers state I have to give him my address and contact number for the baby…..What do I do? Attorney I spoke to is wanting a 3500.00 retainer fee, legal aid wont help because they claim I am above the income level….Im freaking out here! It’s too late to pick the assalt charge up….I’ve already checked….

My 27 yr.old son has been struggling w/drugs & alcohol for 8 years. He had a great job & was very responsible up until last year when he walked away from his job; sold everything,and ended up in jail where later the Judge ordered him into a Rehab. Facility – which he has been to several with no success. He has been living with me now for 2 weeks & no attempts to get a job. I’m disabled on a fixed budget yet he needs to be driven to many places to keep him from violating his probation. I’m nervous around him & he has changed. Yet he has had no urge to do drugs. He say’s he is full of fear. He has no place else to go & if I do ask him to leave he will inevitably end up back in jail or doing drugs again. I’m torn. I seem to worry more than he does about food & having money for gas. I know what he is capable of doing when it comes to work ethics; people love him. Should I be silent & let him work his demons out or stay on his butt to go get a job & get his own place?

i’ts been a month since i relapsed and i wanted to try NA meetings but some say only spirital clossenes to god will help if anybody was addicted to crack cocaine give me some advice?ihave a 2yr old son and husband i don’t want to loose

My son invited some friends over and it quickly got out of hand. Random people showed up in a matter of minutes toting alcohol which was shared to underage drinkers (<21). An unknown boy, age 17, was left behind and was very drunk. The police showed up and issued us a citation for being the homeowners. What happens next?

My adult life has been rearranged to what I had hoped it would be because of alcohol. It affected my personal relationships, my family, my son and many friends. My problem is not what I drink, because that may average 4 drinks a year. My problem is with how it has affected the people I love and care about. Second-hand alcohol. To the best of my knowledge, tobacco has never killed multiple members of a family or friends in an auto accident at 1 time. Alcohol is addictive, harmful and dangerous. Yet it is still advertised and promoted and the alcohol industry is aware of the problems is causes. Are they not partly to blame for the problems it has caused for millions of people? How should this question be posted-food&drink, family&relationships,health,politics and govern-ment or society&culture?
I smoke and I don’t blame anyone but me. I don’t think advertising alcohol should be allowed because if someone is trying to quit it just complicates their problems.

My adult life has been rearranged to what I had hoped it would be because of alcohol. It affected my personal relationships, my family, my son and many friends. My problem is not what I drink, because that may average 4 drinks a year. My problem is with how it has affected the people I love and care about. Second-hand alcohol. To the best of my knowledge, tobacco has never killed multiple members of a family or friends in an auto accident at 1 time. Alcohol is addictive, harmful and dangerous. Yet it is still advertised and promoted and the alcohol industry is aware of the problems is causes. Are they not partly to blame for the problems it has caused for millions of people? How should this question be posted-food&drink, family&relationships,health,politics and govern-ment or society&culture?
I smoke and I don’t blame anyone but me. I don’t think advertising alcohol should be allowed because if someone is trying to quit it just complicates their problems.

My adult life has been rearranged to what I had hoped it would be because of alcohol. It affected my personal relationships, my family, my son and many friends. My problem is not what I drink, because that may average 4 drinks a year. My problem is with how it has affected the people I love and care about. Second-hand alcohol. To the best of my knowledge, tobacco has never killed multiple members of a family or friends in an auto accident at 1 time. Alcohol is addictive, harmful and dangerous. Yet it is still advertised and promoted and the alcohol industry is aware of the problems is causes. Are they not partly to blame for the problems it has caused for millions of people? How should this question be posted-food&drink, family&relationships,health,politics and govern-ment or society&culture?
I smoke and I don’t blame anyone but me. I don’t think advertising alcohol should be allowed because if someone is trying to quit it just complicates their problems.

my sons father passed away. he was originally in the hospital for pnemonia. they did a lot of different tests to determine the actual cause of death and ultimately they put as his cause of death “methamphetimine ingestion” he hadn’t used in three days and had eaten and slept. i dont understand why they put this as cause of death.
well, they did an autopsy and that came back undetermined and then they did a biopsy and thats when they decided with the meth thing. also he had been put on life support in the hospital and ultimatly his dad pulled the plug…wouldnt that have something to do with cause of death?
okay so if it is possible then HOW is it possible?

Its not happening for a while but in november there is going to be a night or 2 where i have to leave my son, he will be 16 months old at the time. I have never left him before so im worrying about it already.

Anyway, my mum smokes and she ALWAYS has a few glasses of wine a night, there have been times where i have asked her to take me somewhere in the evening and she makes my dad do it because she HAS to drink. She denies being an alcoholic but we (me and my partner) believe she is. She also goes to bed very early, around 7.30-8.30 everynight and my son doesnt usually go to bed until 9pm at the earliest, it can be anywhere from 9-12pm depending on his mood. She also NEVER listens to what i say for him, i have a set routine and she will not stick to it. I go there every saturday and she wont listen to me about anything.

She called me and i told her about these nights we have to go out and leave him and she asked who will be looking after my son and i told her that my cousin said she would like to do it (her sister has 2 kids that she looks after a lot so i trust her). However he doesnt really know her very well, he would only see her maybe once a month and thats only for maybe 2 hours. I dont have any other friends or family he could stay with, so im not sure what to do.

traditional expenses in his words are rehearsal dinner, all alcohol at reception, and honeymoon. Now remember they have been married 1 year already!

him for 30 plus years after she became disabled to be with the newer younger blonde cocaine/painpill addicted model he has now??????

My 17 year old son and his girlfriend had been going out for a good 4 years and a month ago she killed herself. My son has been a mess and has been blaming himself for it and he just sobs for hours on end. He is seeing a counselor but he has not been the same since her funeral. I have had to lock all the sharp objects away along with the alcohol in the house away. He was hospitalized about a week and a half after her funeral when i found my son passed out with alcohol poising. The counseling seems to be going ok i guess i am not really sure. I think he is getting better but then again i feel like he is just starting to be able to hide his pain from me and my husband and even his older sister. Which is strange because his sister and him are so very close together and he tells her everything but he wont even talk to her anymore. I want to help him but i feel so helpless. Advice?

I am very unhappy in my marriage rite now. My husband is an active alcoholic. And is not the same person he use to be at all. My son is 17 and he knows how his Dad is and also gets very mad and aggravated about it.
I am really thinking of telling my husband that i am done with this type of marriage. If i do that then my son and I will have to move and our whole worlds are going to change. So I feel that it is only fair I ask my son about his feelings on this matter as well. So should I tell my son what i plan to do before I talk to my husband or wait till after? I have thought about this so many times and I always back down and stay and nothing changes. I am hoping to dig in this time and just do this. And the only way to say i am staying is if he goes to AA. Or rehab. But Its such a huge step after being married since the age of 19 and being married for 22 yrs. I am so confused about all of this. And I just want what is best for my son. Yes I know I should have left sooner but Things didn’t get this bad until the past year. I am guessing that my husband is now in stage 3 of alcoholism.
I know this is long and winded and not punctuated rite but I am at a public place and we only have so much time. so please don’t reply about that. thanks in advance for the help.
***bronze there is such a thing as stages of alcoholism look it up at each stage they behave differently and it effects there lives and lives of others diffferently.
And as for Al anon I did go and for me it did not help it seemed like all they wanted to tell me is that it is a disease ( i do believe that) and that i am not responsible for his actions but that i should try to stay because he cant help it.

My ex and I split up nearly 2 years ago. He had been seeing our son nearly every week and said that when he left he left me “not our son”. Well, I haven’t heard from him for the past 4 months. I’m very confused and pretty livid for my son. He asks about him and I’m not sure what to say. I tell him that his father loves him and that I know he misses him.

Some people have mentioned that he’s probably in a new relationship but I still can’t understand how that would make him want to totally cut off all communication with his child who he was actively involved with up until 4 months ago.

I wonder if it could be drugs? He was very inconsistent over the summer when he was watching him. Would show up late most days, couldn’t seem to get himself up on time and would call with every excuse in the book day in and day out. He’s 35 years old and I know he did Meth recreationally before we got together, when he was 23. But he didn’t do that when we were together.

However, in the past year he’s lost his job (was fired after working there for 8 years) due to being late all the time. Said he was denied unemployment. And he’s just hanging out with 21 year old girls and has 2 bachelors living with him now.

I’m just trying to understand how someone can so completely change. I wonder why he wouldn’t be reachable or interested in seeing his own son for so long?

How can men (or people) do this to their children? Last we talked we were amicable and all was civil.
I have seen my ex driving around town, so he’s not incarcerated. He acts like he doesn’t see me. I texted him 3 months ago. Never heard back from him. I see that he’s adding friends to his facebook page, so I know he hasn’t fallen off the planet and isn’t in jail or worse.

I don’t understand why I cant lose my “after baby body”. My Son will be a year old on Sept.4th and I am still 140 pounds. I am 5’3, and the weight is going straight to my stomach. I look perfect at a weight of 125, but these last few pounds are not leaving. I have tried everything. I am desperate and at my wits end. I feel my last option is drugs (Illegal) but I don’t want to be a drug addicted and neglectful mother. I love my son and I want to be a good mom but I want to be a beautiful wife also. although my husband is loving and doesn’t complain I Know he doesn’t look at me the same, I don’t look at me the same. It may sound vain but it is important to me. How can I lose this weight and why has it been so hard? I want the drugs because I know they will work…how do I keep from reaching that point? Please Help.

It’s been three years for me I can’t remember… my sons umbilical cord fell off and I cleaned it with rubbing alcohol anyway cause I couldn’t remember…

Should I still keep doing this??
I thought about keeping it but it really grossed me out.. lol