Please I need your advice. I have a son, he is 30 yrs old. He is not in drugs or alcohol but he can’t hold a job. He is single and leaves out. no friends.
When he loss a job he become angry and desesperate and a lot of times I help him with food and paying the rent. Later he gets another job. etc
Now 20 days ago he losted a very good job after 4 months, but for the first time I know that he lost this job because he was playing video games. His life is video games, tv and computer.
At this moment he doesn’t have money for the rent and of course he is very furios at me. when I tell him that is his responsability he said that, before he go out on the street he will kill himself.
He has been an expert to manipulate me, He always blame me for everything.
I don’t have money to give it to him and I know that I have to sptop enable him.
How can I stop thinking that I am guilty and what about if something happened. I feel like he is very depressed, but the only thing that he wants for me is money.
Help me what should I do? He is my only child
Browsing Posts tagged adult
the 27 year old has a BFA in illustration and the 29 year old has an AA in auto body repair. Both are good workers, never miss work, show up for work everyday on time and clean and sober, yet they get passed over for employment by addicts and alcoholics. They are out every day looking for work and up all night on the computer looking. And nothing is happening. The 27 year old has $50,000+ in student loans that he has defaulted on and is in a very deep depression because of it. Why can’t they find work?
My boyfriend has the laziest most worthless kids I have ever met. They move in and out of his house like a revolving door. His son is an alcoholic with no drivers license and his daughter is lazy. She is married and uses the emergency room as a doctors office, always going in for this that and the other.She cant go to the doctor like the rest of us. She is the queen of filth. Never does the dishes or cleans house & is always running around in the car shopping Her dad gave her a credit card to help her out and she maxed it out and let it go to collections, then asked him for a loan. He had no idea it had gone to collections and he had to bargain to pay it off. Her husband is a drunk and they moved in with their kids because they cannot pay their bills. Her husband had an excellent job working for Catipillar and just quit out of the blue. Should I say what is on my mind or hold my breath. I adore him heart and soul, but these kids are a mess. It kills me to watch this shit go on.
I do not live with him. Its almost more than I can hold in and I have been told to shut up more than once. I just adore him so.
I’ve just recently found out that my brother is stealing from my sickly ill mother, presently in the hospital, and abusing drugs-as confirmed by police as crack/cocaine. He lives with his 14 year old son, they don’t get along at all, and has abusive tendencies. Ever since my mother was diagnosed with Stg 4 Breast Cancer, with no recovery, he has been in a downward spiral. He confided in me that he is taking marijuana to offset the depression, however, as I visited the home to pick up a few things for my mom, he not only stole some of her clothing, jewelry and other family heirlooms, but I got so frustrated, maybe they were still in his room, I entered and found empty zip baggies with powder residue and small round burnt balls all around. Need help in making a drastic decision…call ACS, get him evicted, which means he will lose his job again, go to jail and devastate my mother even more, or should I wait, have a family intervention, because image matters to him, and wait it out?
My oldest son, Camron, died of a drug overdose almost six years ago. I found his body and at the time I was addicted to cocaine. I am a bisexual man, as a result of being raped as a child. I am 24 years into my second marriage. My ex-wife, the mother of our dead son, divorced me when Camron was 5 because I was addicted to cocaine and was having sex with men. She knew I was bisexual and chose to marry me because she was in love with me. But during and after the divoece she vowed take revenge by telling the boys that I was a fucked up queer, liar and drug addict, and she told Camron that he was just like me and that she didn’t like him but loved his brother more. And Camron was like me…he loved me… As part of her revenge, she refused to help pay any of Camrons funeral costs. Today she still hates me, my family, and my freinds, who helped by giving me $14,000.00 to bury him. I am thinking about suing her to pay back half the money to the people who gave it…
I have a 21 year old Step Daughter who has recently been in and out of jail. She is a meth user. We have gotten her a sponsor to help her, but she has only contacted her once. She is doing nothing to help herself by getting help or a job. She lays around the house and does not clean up after herself and rarely bathes. She also brings home not so trust worthing people and I have tried to talk to my husband about putting an end to it. And all he says if I don’t let her have her friends over she will leave. What do I do? When my son had a problem we sent him on his way. He has learned to get by and live with the mistakes he has made, but my husband finds it alot different because she is a female. Please help me.
We adopted our oldest son when he was 3. He had been in an abusive home, and then in several foster homes. He still had bruises on him when we took him home. He grew up with our other children, and left when he was 18, but kept in touch. He joined the Marines, and did 2 tours in Iraq. The experience drove him to drink heavily, and he ended his military carreer going to the on base AA meetings regularly. Since then he’s flunked out of college, and has begun taking crystal meth. He has no job,and he steals from us to support his habit. I still have a teenager at home, and I couldn’t expose him to his older brothers problems. I kicked him out, for a while he broke in and stole stuff including an ATM card which he stole about $250 bucks with until we found out and canceled the card. We secured the house enough that he doesn’t seem to be breaking in anymore. He’s living across the street with the jerk I suspect is furnishing him with the meth.
He’s still my son. Help. He’s 26
He’s been out of the Marines for almost a year now
I have 2 sons, 20 and 25. My 25 year old who is @ 6’4″ – 225lbs, is known to abuse drugs/alcohol. He and my younger son have a “co-dependent” relationship. I went to Texas to help my younger son with paperwork for a new “job adventure” that he and my older son took on, (both A.D.H.D.) my older son (with an “instigating” girlfriend) started cussing me and when told to leave me alone yanked me off the floor by my hair, hit me several times and pushing me down to the floor several times. I HAD to call the law. I put a warrant out for his arrest and had an emergency protective order put in. I told my younger son that he best call his brother and girlfriend to tell them they better get a hotel room until I got out of there and back to Alabama. He was extremely angry with me about calling the law. He did not call his brother and he and the girlfriend showed back up, I had the “deadbolt” locked. They started beating on the door really mad. My youngest son got so mad at me because I told him I was calling the police (because of the “protective order”)..he let them in anyway. I barricaded myself inside a bedroom until the law got there. My youngest son was not present at the time this happened yet kept telling me, because of the older son’s irrational behavior and temper that we were going to “get another place”. We never did. The older son was telling his little brother that I attacked him…etc… He actually believed it…( I am disabled, have neuro-vascular problems, degenerative disk disease in my total spine and muscle weakness upon repetitive or extreme exertion, 5’4″ and 125lbs) After the oldest was taken into custody, the younger son wanted to “bail” him out that very moment on a $50,000.00 bond. He couldn’t find his wallet (I was always “keeping up” with everything he kept losing) He decided to call the law on me and told the police that I stole his wallet and had his brother falsely arrested… which he called back to tell them “he found his wallet”… He and my older son’s “girlfriend” started cussing me so horribly because they were mad that I had my son arrested… I had bruises all over me and now having more difficulty walking… The youngest son would not pay me what he owed me, saying wait until HE got paid..(he has PLENTY of money already from his dad’s death in 2000).. The day before he had me to hold onto some cash for him from a refund. It was about $110.00. I wanted to get back home and away from the abuse (not the first time and I was already abused by their late father and and his father years back)… He didn’t want to pay me so I used his cash I was holding to pay a taxi to take me to an airport, I rented a car in which I was thankful I had enough money in my checking account to cover. I drove almost 8 hours to get home in quite a bit of pain. The next day I was really feeling the after affects..physically as well as emotionally… (“WHY”?) My husband took me to the hospital to get checked. As we were thier waiting we found where my oldest son had sent an extremely violent and profane text message threatening my husband and I both. I called in this to the Alabama police. They gave me a case number, etc.. He DID show for his hearing in Texas and will be “arraigned” in a couple of weeks.
I spoke with the Asst. D.A. in Texas. My son did not enter a plea at all. Was told to get an attorney. I know that my son could spend year or more in jail yet the Asst. DA asked what I would want done…?
I personally hold both of my sons responsible, including the girlfriend… I told the DA something to the effect of REHAB, counseling, probation, etc… but I really don’t think that is going to help my son(s) learn that you don’t abuse ANY women… I know for a fact that MONEY is the most important thing in their life, admitted by both sons, sadly enough. I left “money” and “abuse” to get MY life in perspective after a 16 year marriage. It seems that this “abuse” of women runs in the family… I never thought I would be traumatized again as my current husband and I have what others call and I would agree a “perfect marriage”, what I deserved and what I was blessed with after all the traumatizing events that I have endured throughout my life.
SO?… Here I am not wanting to see my sons anymore(?) because of this, my motherhood has been ripped from my heart..and it’s going to take me quite some time to heal over the emotional scars that have been “re-opened”, being betrayed by my younger son… I have thought seriously about filing a civil suit against all 3… They have plenty of money..(I am on full disabilty)
.I have had my gas turned off over 4 months ago for a $194.00 bill. They are well aware of this yet I still have to take a cold shower or heat water to take a bath? They don’t care about me… they only come around when they “need some ‘advice’, feel sick, heartbreaks, tummy aches”…etc…They expect my undvided attention…I have given it… They are never there for “me”, their own mot
BTW? I have another profile on YAHOO and I DON”T mind reading about someone else’s problems and have helped quite a few… If you feel you must give “useless” answers “to get points” then I feel sorry for you… I DO CARE about other people. I AM an empath…
To ALL of you that have given sincere responses?.. I send you my very sincere thanks!!! Bless you ALL!
I have 2 sons, 20 and 25. My 25 year old who is @ 6’4″ – 225lbs, is known to abuse drugs/alcohol. He and my younger son have a “co-dependent” relationship. I went to Texas to help my younger son with paperwork for a new “job adventure” that he and my older son took on, (both A.D.H.D.) my older son (with an “instigating” girlfriend) started cussing me and when told to leave me alone yanked me off the floor by my hair, hit me several times and pushing me down to the floor several times. I HAD to call the law. I put a warrant out for his arrest and had an emergency protective order put in. I told my younger son that he best call his brother and girlfriend to tell them they better get a hotel room until I got out of there and back to Alabama. He was extremely angry with me about calling the law. He did not call his brother and he and the girlfriend showed back up, I had the “deadbolt” locked. They started beating on the door really mad. My youngest son got so mad at me because I told him I was calling the police (because of the “protective order”)..he let them in anyway. I barricaded myself inside a bedroom until the law got there. My youngest son was not present at the time this happened yet kept telling me, because of the older son’s irrational behavior and temper that we were going to “get another place”. We never did. The older son was telling his little brother that I attacked him…etc… He actually believed it…( I am disabled, have neuro-vascular problems, degenerative disk disease in my total spine and muscle weakness upon repetitive or extreme exertion, 5’4″ and 125lbs) After the oldest was taken into custody, the younger son wanted to “bail” him out that very moment on a $50,000.00 bond. He couldn’t find his wallet (I was always “keeping up” with everything he kept losing) He decided to call the law on me and told the police that I stole his wallet and had his brother falsely arrested… which he called back to tell them “he found his wallet”… He and my older son’s “girlfriend” started cussing me so horribly because they were mad that I had my son arrested… I had bruises all over me and now having more difficulty walking… The youngest son would not pay me what he owed me, saying wait until HE got paid..(he has PLENTY of money already from his dad’s death in 2000).. The day before he had me to hold onto some cash for him from a refund. It was about $110.00. I wanted to get back home and away from the abuse (not the first time and I was already abused by their late father and and his father years back)… He didn’t want to pay me so I used his cash I was holding to pay a taxi to take me to an airport, I rented a car in which I was thankful I had enough money in my checking account to cover. I drove almost 8 hours to get home in quite a bit of pain. The next day I was really feeling the after affects..physically as well as emotionally… (“WHY”?) My husband took me to the hospital to get checked. As we were thier waiting we found where my oldest son had sent an extremely violent and profane text message threatening my husband and I both. I called in this to the Alabama police. They gave me a case number, etc.. He DID show for his hearing in Texas and will be “arraigned” in a couple of weeks.
I spoke with the Asst. D.A. in Texas. My son did not enter a plea at all. Was told to get an attorney. I know that my son could spend year or more in jail yet the Asst. DA asked what I would want done…?
I personally hold both of my sons responsible, including the girlfriend… I told the DA something to the effect of REHAB, counseling, probation, etc… but I really don’t think that is going to help my son(s) learn that you don’t abuse ANY women… I know for a fact that MONEY is the most important thing in their life, admitted by both sons, sadly enough. I left “money” and “abuse” to get MY life in perspective after a 16 year marriage. It seems that this “abuse” of women runs in the family… I never thought I would be traumatized again as my current husband and I have what others call and I would agree a “perfect marriage”, what I deserved and what I was blessed with after all the traumatizing events that I have endured throughout my life.
SO?… Here I am not wanting to see my sons anymore(?) because of this, my motherhood has been ripped from my heart..and it’s going to take me quite some time to heal over the emotional scars that have been “re-opened”, being betrayed by my younger son… I have thought seriously about filing a civil suit against all 3… They have plenty of money..(I am on full disabilty)
.I have had my gas turned off over 4 months ago for a $194.00 bill. They are well aware of this yet I still have to take a cold shower or heat water to take a bath? They don’t care about me… they only come around when they “need some ‘advice’, feel sick, heartbreaks, tummy aches”…etc…They expect my undvided attention…I have given it… They are never there for “me”, their own moth
I have 2 sons, 20 and 25. My 25 year old who is @ 6’4″ – 225lbs, is known to abuse drugs/alcohol. He and my younger son have a “co-dependent” relationship. I went to Texas to help my younger son with paperwork for a new “job adventure” that he and my older son took on, (both A.D.H.D.) my older son (with an “instigating” girlfriend) started cussing me and when told to leave me alone yanked me off the floor by my hair, hit me several times and pushing me down to the floor several times. I HAD to call the law. I put a warrant out for his arrest and had an emergency protective order put in. I told my younger son that he best call his brother and girlfriend to tell them they better get a hotel room until I got out of there and back to Alabama. He was extremely angry with me about calling the law. He did not call his brother and he and the girlfriend showed back up, I had the “deadbolt” locked. They started beating on the door really mad. My youngest son got so mad at me because I told him I was calling the police (because of the “protective order”)..he let them in anyway. I barricaded myself inside a bedroom until the law got there. My youngest son was not present at the time this happened yet kept telling me, because of the older son’s irrational behavior and temper that we were going to “get another place”. We never did. The older son was telling his little brother that I attacked him…etc… He actually believed it…( I am disabled, have neuro-vascular problems, degenerative disk disease in my total spine and muscle weakness upon repetitive or extreme exertion, 5’4″ and 125lbs) After the oldest was taken into custody, the younger son wanted to “bail” him out that very moment on a $50,000.00 bond. He couldn’t find his wallet (I was always “keeping up” with everything he kept losing) He decided to call the law on me and told the police that I stole his wallet and had his brother falsely arrested… which he called back to tell them “he found his wallet”… He and my older son’s “girlfriend” started cussing me so horribly because they were mad that I had my son arrested… I had bruises all over me and now having more difficulty walking… The youngest son would not pay me what he owed me, saying wait until HE got paid..(he has PLENTY of money already from his dad’s death in 2000).. The day before he had me to hold onto some cash for him from a refund. It was about $110.00. I wanted to get back home and away from the abuse (not the first time and I was already abused by their late father and and his father years back)… He didn’t want to pay me so I used his cash I was holding to pay a taxi to take me to an airport, I rented a car in which I was thankful I had enough money in my checking account to cover. I drove almost 8 hours to get home in quite a bit of pain. The next day I was really feeling the after affects..physically as well as emotionally… (“WHY”?) My husband took me to the hospital to get checked. As we were thier waiting we found where my oldest son had sent an extremely violent and profane text message threatening my husband and I both. I called in this to the Alabama police. They gave me a case number, etc.. He DID show for his hearing in Texas and will be “arraigned” in a couple of weeks.
I spoke with the Asst. D.A. in Texas. My son did not enter a plea at all. Was told to get an attorney. I know that my son could spend year or more in jail yet the Asst. DA asked what I would want done…?
I personally hold both of my sons responsible, including the girlfriend… I told the DA something to the effect of REHAB, counseling, probation, etc… but I really don’t think that is going to help my son(s) learn that you don’t abuse ANY women… I know for a fact that MONEY is the most important thing in their life, admitted by both sons, sadly enough. I left “money” and “abuse” to get MY life in perspective after a 16 year marriage. It seems that this “abuse” of women runs in the family… I never thought I would be traumatized again as my current husband and I have what others call and I would agree a “perfect marriage”, what I deserved and what I was blessed with after all the traumatizing events that I have endured throughout my life.
SO?… Here I am not wanting to see my sons anymore(?) because of this, my motherhood has been ripped from my heart..and it’s going to take me quite some time to heal over the emotional scars that have been “re-opened”, being betrayed by my younger son… I have thought seriously about filing a civil suit against all 3… They have plenty of money..(I am on full disabilty)
.I have had my gas turned off over 4 months ago for a $194.00 bill. They are well aware of this yet I still have to take a cold shower or heat water to take a bath? They don’t care about me… they only come around when they “need some ‘advice’, feel sick, heartbreaks, tummy aches”…etc…They expect my undvided attention…I have given it… They are never there for “me”, their own mothe
Two years ago I left my 30′ish son outside the Salvation Army Rehab Center for six month stay. He stayed less than a month and moved to another state. Last year I sent him money for another rehab center. He was to stay six months, he left after two and moved in with one of his alcoholic friends. Now he wants to move back into my home. Should I let him?
I really don’t know what to do. My sister (she has kids 12, and 16 yr. old) took in this guy, and shortly thereafter she started using meth. Her kids can’t stand him, she thinks they love the low life. He is another story. Anyway her life is a mess, she doesn’t have clue on how to raise and supervise her kids, she is going down the tubes fast and just clings to her boyfriend. She says she loves her kids but she makes drugs (parties all night) and her boyfriend her #1 priority. Meth is the kind of drug that totally distorts her reality, and she’s very hostile about everything. I have called drug counselors and they say she has to lose everything BEFORE its apparent that she needs help. Her children are very difficult to deal with, so I can’t have them move in with me, and besides if I took her responsibilities off her hands then she’d just party full time. As I write this I am getting frustrated because for 20+ years our family has been on a roller coaster with her addictions, and all her bad decisions in life. The only reason I am writing this is because when she had a moment of sobriety (6years) we did everthing together. She was my best friend. Our kids loved to be together and just hang out. The moment she brought that man and drugs into her life, she has been a total different person. I miss and love my sober sister, and I have not seen a that side of her for 3 1/2 years. I want to just give up and wait for the phone to ring…that she overdosed on meth and her heart stopped. Her drugs have torn my family apart on more than one occasion. What do I do? She said she doesnt’ have a drug problem, she only uses meth “recreationally” and can handle it. Lets see, her oldest son moved out, two cars were impounded and taken away, she has been served a 30 day notice, and her section 8 was just taken from her because she had a man living with her. Please save your welfare judgement, we are on the same page when it comes to MY tax dollars supporting people like this. I am her only family member that she MIGHT listen to eventually, or should I just give up?
His father (were divorced) is an alcoholic. Am I just being paranoid?
my aunt is old and living with her alcoholic son, who takes her ssn checks to buy booze. And he is abusive to her.
My troubled 22 year old nephew called me. He overdosed and is looking to leave Detroit and come to Cal. I won’t let him stay with me because he will steal from his own family and I can’t trust him. I also have kids to worry about. Any idea where someone in SoCal can go without a job and no money who is trying to get off drugs? Also I’ve helped him out with money before and he has used it to buy drugs so I can’t do that.
My son is 27 years old and moved out when he was 18 years old. We have always been very close and he never had any problems opening up to me. I moved to another state last year and live about 2 hours from him. He has visited a couple of times and we always left on good terms. I saw him about 6 months ago and have not heard from him since then. He ignores my calls and emails. He recently got a new phone number and did not tell me. He did give the number to my daughter who gave it to me. I called him last week using a restricted number hoping he would pick up the phone. He did…but as soon as he heard my voice he hung up. My daughter told me that she visited him about 4 months ago and that he was hooked on illegal drugs. She called him a few weeks ago and asked him why he won’t call me and he said he does not want to talk about it. As his mother I am concerned and I want the best for him. But I am so confused as to why he wants me out of his life. Any ideas or advice? I love him and would never do anything to hurt him. Why would he do this to me?
he is not my son
I don/t see him often, but the last few times his nose is runny, eyes are watery, and spends quite a bit of time outside or in the bathroom.
He says, when he is intoxicated that he wants and needs help and is willing to go with me to get it. Then, the next morning, when he’s sober, he refuses.
