I also had a baby by my brother or my uncle (not sure which). There does not seem to be any thing genetically wrong with my son, so far.
I recently had a birthday, but i am still a teenager.
What should I do???
I was expecting a few rude responses, so I see that a few uncaring people decided not to disappointment me. For the others, who seem sincere, I offer my heartfelt thanks!
In case of my death, our son would go to my brother and his wife? Does he have to sign it also? Do we have to be divorced first?
He won’t get custody of our son. He shoots dope and drinks all day doesn’t work and hasn’t called my son in about 4 months. Hasn’t given us any money in about 9 months
We have an adorable 9 month old baby, he went into rehab by choice 2 weeks before I had our son, after 10 years of heavy cocaine and alcohol usage. He came home a totally different person, he used to be my best friend and now he barely talks to me about anything personal, he won’t tell me how he feels, all we talk about is the baby and the weather. He is completely detached from me and it breaks my heart, I want so badly to be there for him but he won’t let me, the only person he will talk to is his mother. I can’t go on like this, I don’t understand why, I think maybe he doesn’t want me to be a trigger, or that he is following the 12 step program rule that you should not be in a relationship for the first year of sobriety. 3 months away from his 1 year sober and I don’t think I can do it anymore I feel like a roomate not an equal partner. Help.
he is now arrested for fraud and it was dumb like he wanted to get caught. but he is confused is there anyway i can point out he is very sick?don’t get me wrong i am happy he is caught but would like him to get help should the judge be told he almost died of living on the streets with blood poisioning and staff infection this happen 15mos ago. he was evaluated 72hrs but they released him as he had drugs in his system so could not evaluate . the only thing i found out was he was an out patient and never showed up . he was 22 at the time. should i do nothing? i am afraid just lock him up no help. he was a meth addict at the time and he said recently he never ever done drugs if so he would of been so mental it is unreal. he has looked better as once out we fatten him up and he looked better but never right. not sure on anything or just damaged he is confused in thinking and what day it is. he has lived away from us last 4mos. i want help for him. speaking out help him?
My father is not in good health but has been working 12-14 hour days to support his wife who has been unemployed for several years. She has also threatend to commit suicide before she would see her son live on the street again! So my dad has been stuck paying for her drug addicted son’s rent and grocaries for atleast two years that I know of. Yet every time I talk to her she is sure to tell me how bad my fathers health is and how tight cash is for them. Even though I have not asked for a dime from them since the age of fifteen! She fails to look at how this has affected my fathers health! Please give me some good advice! I really don’t want to keep biting my tongue on this but I am afraid that if I say anything that it will damage my relationship with my father.
I’ve been going through this crap for 2 years. We broke up, he started using – it took me a couple of months to figure out what was going on. He physically attacked me at one point and the police got involved and I figured out he was using. I got a restraining order which forbid him from seeing his son until he was clean. His Mom called CPS on me for revenge – they found nothing and only came by once – they basically told me to keep my son away from his Dad. I tried to talk to my ex’s Mom during this time so that she could get him some help. She refused to admit he had a problem even as his face was covered with scabs and he was stealing from neighbors and relatives. He was finally arrested and completed the state ordered drug testing – he managed to pass and stay clean for a year. I started allowing him visitation with his son and he started using again and in front of our son. He has been arrested yet again and had 6 warrants in 3 different counties he is in jail for a long time. His Mother has been trying to find dirt on me and is collecting information for him – mostly in regards to if I’m dating anyone and I feel guilty about it so I don’t date anyone. How can I deal with this woman? I just want him to get clean and be a part of my son’s life.
My wife is a meth addict I left her and took our sons because she is was using and would not even admit to having a problem. I have found her pipes and other evidence of the drug use. So after I left she said she was clean and doing well so I let her start taking the boys again, Well she comes to drop off our sons and we get into an argument and I tell her to leave. As she is leaving she threatens to burn my house down and I lock myself and our sons in the house and call the police and she starts to hit and kick my doors and windows. The police come and said she didn’t commit a crime. I know I don’t and won’t return the kids into her care but is it enough for a restraining order in California.
Before our child was conceived, my BF had a severe (4+times/week) cocaine use/habit & was a heavy drinker (5+ drinks, 3-5 times/week). He then got emergency custody of his kids & his substance abuse toned down. Since his kids are now having visitation with their mother, he’s taken back to the old habits — mostly when the kids are gone. However, he still sneaks out after they’re in bed or takes off for hours — leaving me to take care of the household. With a baby on the way, he promised he wasn’t doing cocaine any more and I had only witnessed the intoxication on about a once a week basis. I did just recently figure out he’s been lying about being “clean” from cocaine. Here’s my problem: I don’t think I can/will expose my new baby to this behavior. I’m afraid he shouldn’t be alone with a baby. I’ve shielded my son (8) from his habits but I’m terrified about the baby. He often says his kids are old enough (11-14) to take care of themselves so leaving for hours to hang out at a bar is fine. They can “cook & clothe themselves.” Yet a baby cannot. I am trying to find a place to live but feel a tremendous guilt about leaving his kids with no one that’s really here for them. I feel horrible about splitting my son up from kids he regards as closely as siblings. His kids have confided that they feel I am the only person that takes care of them & have learned that having a dad gone all hours of the night is not “normal.”
I have taken on the horrible task of documenting all his behavior. I have the phone records of his calls to his dealer. I have copies of credit card statements showing the amount of time & money he spends in bars…. I’m pretty sure he won’t get any custodial rights to the baby. HOWEVER, I do not want it to come to some ugly mud slinging court case. I just want him to sign off all paternal right to the baby and let me fend for myself. I don’t want to have to tell anyone that my baby’s father is an alcoholic & drug addict but I don’t know what I’m going to say when I move a month before a baby is born. I also feel very guilty about the fact that I am far from excited about the baby coming. I have no names. I have clothes & a car seat for the baby — but nothing more. I have been waiting nine months for dad to change and I have put myself in a position requiring emergency action. He initially said he would move… then he said he would find me a place to live and pay for the first 6 months… now he’s saying I’m on my own. I just wonder if moving with no job is even possible??? Am I doing the right thing? Honestly, if I just ignore his behavior, stay here, take care of all the kids — money & a place to live are not a problem. It just doesn’t seem right.
I’ve asked him to go to get help. He regrets his behavior but seems to think it’s no big deal to be drunk all weekend (since Friday and counting…) and tells me it’s none of my business. He will not go to a counseling or rehab service. He knows how to trick all the drug tests he needed to take to get custody of his kids. It just seems that waiting is hopeless. Since his habits are hidden, I look like a bit of a lunatic — he’s never been charged with drug crimes or alcohol related tickets. He’s a steady provider that owns his own company. He’s not abusive (except he calls me all kinds of names when he’s drunk) and hides his ways very well. The whole situation has me scared, sad & feeling very stupid for exposing myself to this for so long. I cry a lot and I don’t want to be around anyone except my family. If I had my way, I wouldn’t even get out of bed but I have responsibilities.
From a completely non bias onlooker, what do I do?
He will be 21 in a few days and was molested at the age of 11 by his Uncle who did not get prosecuted despite our efforts. I feel that this was the beginning of his problems, but had him in counseling several different times to try to help him cope with his trauma. He has been struggling with drug and alcohol addiction since he was13. He has attempted suicide on three occasions over the years, the latest being last night. He lives in another state at this time and does not want to come home because he has a girlfriend of 2 years there. Right now he is in the hospital, but will be admitted somewhere tomarrow. I have talked to him several times today and he knows that I love him and just want to see him get better.He admitted himself into a facility just last week, but they put him out after 2 days because he has no insurance! Before he moved, I had gotten him help from several sources and he has beat this thing before, it just seems to keep coming back. What else can I do besides morally support him and pray?
ok well..this is the story. My finace ( we have been together for almost 2 years now) he was a very bad coc addict before i met him. actully right after i got with him he had just stopped. Note: i didnt know he was an addit until later in our relationship. The main question is we have been having alot of problems with argguing and me having to deal with him being irritated allll! the time. he’ll be happy go lucky then be completly irritated a few mins later and i never know what about. i try to talk to him about it and thats what starts the fights.. he says he doesnt like to talk about what hes thinking and all that ext. do these mood swings have to do with him recovering?? ive been dealing with this from him for almost our entire relationship. I’m starting to get on my last nerve. i cant take it anymore. he wont except my help or advice. he says i cant tell him how bad drugs are because i’ve never tryed them and all that BS. we have a 6 month old son and i dont want my son to be growing up with a person who thinks drugs are ok. i love my fiance to death but …i just cant take it its making me unhappy. so tell me, find someone else? or try and stick with him to see if he can truly recover and change??
My son is a cocaine addict 23, years of age. He has a difficult time understanding why he can’t drink and again why is cocaine a diffiuclt drug to stop using?
Ok so when i was growing up my dad was a pretty good man. He was a truck driver he had a decent job made a very decent living. after he left my mom for a much younger girl he quit his job and started his own business as a boat shop machanic. When things didnt work out with her i started noticing a change in my dad he started hanging around people i’ve never seen him hang around before. People who have been in trouble for drugs. My dads whole attitude about life in general is a total mess. He hasnt been much of a dad or grandparent to me or my son. My younger brother and him started having a relationship but come to find out my brother started using meth with him. i am very angry at my dad because i feel like he should grow up and be the adult. Last night i had a dream that my died had died and i was at his funeral and everyone was crying but me. I was mad at him. whats wrong with me? I feel like my dad died along time ago and i dont want to have these feelings for him
Ok so when i was growing up my dad was a pretty good man. He was a truck driver he had a decent job made a very decent living. after he left my mom for a much younger girl he quit his job and started his own business as a boat shop machanic. When things didnt work out with her i started noticing a change in my dad he started hanging around people i’ve never seen him hang around before. People who have been in trouble for drugs. My dads whole attitude about life in general is a total mess. He hasnt been much of a dad or grandparent to me or my son. My younger brother and him started having a relationship but come to find out my brother started using meth with him. i am very angry at my dad because i feel like he should grow up and be the adult. Last night i had a dream that my died had died and i was at his funeral and everyone was crying but me. I was mad at him. whats wrong with me? I feel like my dad died along time ago and i dont want to have these feelings for him
I am married to a meth addict. In another post, I confidently argued that he had relapsed but ONCE since he and I had been together (a year). Now, it has come to be painfully obvious that he uses every weekend. He is what is known as a “functioning” addict. He still goes to work, is home during the week, but binges on the weekend and I do not see him. This has been going on for the last 6 weeks. Moving on, I have decided that marrying him was a mistake and then becoming pregnant with his child was a mistake. I love my unborn son truly and deeply–he has a nursery set up in our home, and my family already talks about him and is excited to meet him. I now know that I have to divorce my addict husband. He is going to end up either back in prison or with a disease. I also know that I, alone, can not give my son the life he needs to be healthy, happy, and secure. I am 31 weeks pregnant and am wondering how I can begin the process of placing my son with a loving, healthy adoptive family during/before my subsequent divorce. Does my husband have to give consent? Should I divorce him first? What are my options?
I have a friend that I’ve known since elementary school, we grew up together, went to high school, all that stuff. We were very close at the beginning of high school, the he started getting into marijuana and drinking, stuff I wasn’t into. We hadn’t talked in about 4 years (we’re both juniors in college), then in May he asked me for $80 dollars. He said his mom had cancer and his family was living below the poverty line and he needed gas to commute to school. So I gave him the money, long story short I found out that he has been using cocaine since high school.
Anyways, he never paid me back the $80 like he said he would and being a broke college student, I needed it badly. So I decided to pay his house a visit. I walked into his house and right away I knew his parents knew the reason I was there. I went to his room, we made small talk for awhile then I asked him about the money. Like he always does, he gives me the runaround and he’ll have it next week blah blah. So his mom barges in and says “so he owes you money too?” My friend flips out and slams the door on his mom, and she yells though the door “DID HE TELL YOU HE’S ON DRUGS?!” He opens the door, runs out, PUNCHES his mom, his dad throws him up against a wall and I sit alone in his room for about 5 minutes listening to yelling and his mom crying hysterically. When I finally came out, she asked me told me that her son was sick and wanted my help.
Sorry for the long story, but I want to now, is there any way to help my friend out? I know he hasn’t been much of a friend to me lately, but I’d like to help him.
Hello, im at the point of my life where i dont know know what else to do. Im 20 years old living with my mother 24 year old brother and father that is never home because he is a truck driver. My mother has been known to do drugs in the passed before and during and after i was born, sadly enough when i was inside her. I work full time trying to go to college and pay for my own bills. I don’t make enough to live on my own to help get some of the stress off of my shoulder that is a burden on my whole family.
Little about my mother. She is now 48 and is at the point where she looks and is falling apart, growing up i slowly finding out who my mother really is for her true colors is a big punch in the face. Shes been around drugs for almost all her life from what my family tells me she use to get all drugged up with her friends growing up along with her friends she grew up with. before i was born she was doing crack and gotten worse over the years and quit for couple years then i came around, when i was younger she use to smoke weed and do alot of pills when i was under 5 years old, i remember her and her friends smoking joints and passing her bong around also her friends had my middle brother try at one point when he was about 10. years later she started to get her life back together working a full time job doing vary well then when i was in 8th grade she got laid off, she slowly started to sneak out during the nights, stuff started to end up missing, at that point i really didnt know what was going on until we started to confront her, she has had my oldest brother which is 28 now to a point where he didnt know what to do she stolen money from him sold some of his stuff for money, then when she got a hold of his gun and sold it, he left and lived with his girl where he is now. later on we found her with crack pipes and cleaning pad pieces all over the place on he floor and the bathroom, we tryed to confront her but she just manipulated us and tryed to blame my dad for years that he is trying to kill her and blame her for everything. Also my neighbor which is an great uncle of ours which is now 94 years old has giver her over 80,000$ over 3 year period with checks or cash because she convinced and manipulated this old man of how she needs money for this and that. Until enough was enough his son took over his banking and now has stopped her connection with him. Now she goes to about any possible person for money conning everyone 20 here 50 here 25 here coming up with different or the same stories to get money.
Today she is at the point where its so bad its ruining my life and future of having a life, its breaking apart our relationship with her. She gets us all riled up and puts guilt trips on my whole family saying we are all against her but we are doing it because we love her and trying to help her get better.
Now it brings me to the whole reason why i posted this. 3 days ago she finally wrecked her car, and it is done for beyond repair. I come home from work at 3pm seeing her walking down there stairs with 2 legs in one pants leg, i almost thought she fell down the stairs when i herd her. I told her, how the hell did you not know you didnt have you legs in your pants right, are you on crack or something, at that point i knew she wasnt in no condition to drive, but i didnt know she was going anywhere. So i was there for about 20 minutes and had to leave to go help my oldest brother, hour later i get a phone call from my grandmother she has gotten in a wreck. I told her how she was when i got home after work. Still with my brother we get a call she is coming home, when my middle brother went to go pick up my dad. Hour later i get a other call that my mother told my brother he is kicked out of the house because he wouldnt let her drive his car. Little about my brother he is a bit emotional and my mother knows that and she loves to use that to her advantage with him, so he goes to my grandmothers house to get away. after that point i feel it is my duty to stick up for my brother which i done in the passed, when i came home i just went off on both my dad and mother to the point where my mother couldnt handle it and just left, the next morning i was sleeping she yells at me to get up from down stairs i come down we end up going at it again, she goes off limping in a emotional state, 10 minutes later i go upstairs she is crying and i ask what the hell is wrong with you know and she goes on telling me we dont love her we all dont want her here that everyone wants her gone, so she wants to pack up. so i end up helping her put her bag together just to piss her off since she wanted to convince me she was leaving. So 2 hours later had to go to work after work i got home she tells me i have 2 days to get of the house i again went off on her again and my dad saying no no you dont have to leave dont listen to her. later that night around 12pm she asked me ooo i know your going to say no but if i give you 10$ can i bo
My sister has been and, always will be a drug addict. She had a son and after only 3 months with her, the state took him away and I’ve been raising him ever since. She now claims to be clean and in a program but, I know that she will always be nothing more than a user, a loser. Plus, my nephew/son is 3 and thinks I’m his mother not my sister. I’m in the process of legally adopting him but druggie is trying to intervene… can she re-gain custody? I don’t want to lose my nephew and will go to great lengths to keep him from ever knowing about his scum bag mother. Is he in danger? Should I tempt her with some heroin?
She stole a great ammount of money from me to feed her habit. Am I just supposed to let that go? Start the slate clean? Even our mother says that she is dead to us. People can’t change… once an addict, always an addict.
I would rather drive the needle into her amr myself then let her walk out the door with my son.
My husband and I have come to think of our nephew as our own son. You can’t just keep forgiving people over and over. She has been off and on for years. I didn;t even know I had a newphew until the authorities reached me and asked I take him in. People who are addicted to drugs are weak and feeble, they have no control… how can they possibly raise a child?
I have the money, space and love to give my son. She is just using him as an excuse to “start fresh” for the 16th time, I refuse to let him become a pawn in her treachery… she’d sell him for a syringe in a split second. She can’t even afford private school and, I will not let him become an un-eduacted public schooler whose only future would be to become a janitor.
2 great nieces and nephew was sent to my Nov. 16, 2005 because their father is in prison and mother is a drug addict with numerous other problems. Public Aid gives $202 cash and no food allowance. I have tried to get additional help to no avail. Does anyone know where I can get additional help, especially doing the holidays. Help, please
2 great nieces and nephew was sent to my Nov. 16, 2005 because their father is in prison and mother is a drug addict with numerous other problems. Public Aid gives $202 cash and no food allowance. I have tried to get additional help to no avail. Does anyone know where I can get additional help, especially doing the holidays. Help, please
My husband and I are 49…Our son is 25 and still living at home. He keeps to himself mostly, but doesnt work. He has been charged with various drug offenses numerous time and has always gotten out of them with no consequences. He is a daily cocaine, marijuana, alcohol user. I watch in fear most days that he life will be short. I try and detach, but you cant just cut off feelings. This is a HUGE strain on my marriage, my health (which is still good) How can I get through to him. I cant kick him out in the streets. How do I get peace of mind for myself. How can I convince my husband to talk to him and have a relationship with him. He has long given up on him and wishes it would all just go away. He wants him to leave the house, but I hold on against hope that something will change him………HELP please
