How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

He has since been returned to his Dad. For reasons I don’t understand. The State of Fl. has filed charges on me for abandonment. Which has also been dropped. My question here is that Fl. has these laws where both parents have certain things they got to do. Like he has to go to anger management, parenting classes, etc. I have to provide them with the history of our custody battle here in Ca. But what the problem for me is they want us both to enroll in a sustance abuse program. I don’t understand why I need to do that. He is the one they concluded was a alcoholic. I have NEVER been on drugs or been convicted of any drug related crimes. I am certainly no alcoholic either. We have 1 year to complete this program. He has a little longer for his other ones. If I don’t do this in the amount of time they gave, then I could possibly lose my Parental Rights. According to the court. So even if I don’t feel it’s right, my son is more important. So does anyone know the cost and how long it takes?

He has since been returned to his Dad. For reasons I don’t understand. The State of Fl. has filed charges on me for abandonment. Which has also been dropped. My question here is that Fl. has these laws where both parents have certain things they got to do. Like he has to go to anger management, parenting classes, etc. I have to provide them with the history of our custody battle here in Ca. But what the problem for me is they want us both to enroll in a sustance abuse program. I don’t understand why I need to do that. He is the one they concluded was a alcoholic. I have NEVER been on drugs or been convicted of any drug related crimes. I am certainly no alcoholic either. We have 1 year to complete this program. He has a little longer for his other ones. If I don’t do this in the amount of time they gave, then I could possibly lose my Parental Rights. According to the court. So even if I don’t feel it’s right, my son is more important. So does anyone know the cost and how long it takes?

Well 2 years ago, my mum and my step-dad broke up, and not too long after we made friends with this guy Jeff and his son, who lived two doors down from us who had also broken up with his wife. He was a total alcoholic (still is) and it wasn’t long till he moved in with us and his son and my sister hooked up, so they’re living down at Jeff’s old place. Anyways ever since he’s been living here he’s made my life a living hell. He calls me names like I’m stupid, worthless, lazy and tells me I’ve got nothing to live for. Last time we had a fight he was all “I’ve got more money than you”. And so I replied, “So you should, you’re 58.” and so he said “I’ll always have more money than you.” So I laughed and said, “You wish”. I went outside and he followed me (aka stalked), with his fists balled and started yelling at me about this crap. I told mum and she keeps telling me he’s gonna leave soon, but he never does. What can I do to ignore him till I can get the money together to rent a house?

For years my relationship has been a volitile one. I have decided that it is time to let go – much to my ripped apart heart, streaming tears and ulcer infested digestive system. I left once already, about 6 months ago, and I returned. In the last two months my husband has had an incident each month – of which my son has not seen – that has been verbally abusive. I am now prepared to leave the marriage permanently since I cannot change him.

I am horrified, frightened, sad – deeply deeply feeling like a failure, but I know I can’t change him. I don’t know how to tell my son that I can’t do it anymore and that when he graduates in about 2 months that I am going to go about my business. When I moved last year – my son refused to come with me and he begged me over the years to stay with my husband. This is my second marriage. My first husband was an alcoholic and I left him when my son was 6. Now, at 17 – he blames me for the troubles in my abusive marriage. I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t want to leave him because I feel like I am reliving the destroying my young childs world all over again – even though I always have left for the right reasons.

I realize that now he is 17, but his example up to now will only lead to a horrible future for him and I feel guilty for staying and guilty for leaving.

I am also devestated to lose the perfect dream that I have been deluded by for 10 years.

Counselling and my moving have worked to no avail in the relationshipo, but have been great for me personally.

If you wish to tell me I should have done something before – please save it – my husband has already reminded me that I am a loser and I certainly don’t need to hear it online. Especially, since it is a bunch of bs – I worked hard to make my relationship work – very hard. Sometimes things just don’t stick.

My husband and I have been together for 5 1/2 years (married for 2 1/2). Our baby boy was born in May of this year.

My husband comes from a family where is father severely abused his mother (physically) and is also an alcoholic, though his family doesn’t see this. My husband is also an alcoholic… he’s been sober since March, but he’s doing it “on his own.” I know this is a red flag, and I also know that the next time I suspect he’s been abusing, I am taking my son and RUNNING.

During his drinking binges (and now I’m noticing it at other times recently as well), he has a habit of verbally abusing me. He tells me I am bipolar, he threatens to throw me out and he has even threatened divorce saying he’d get full custody of our child b/c I don’t work. He is rarely intimate with me unless I initimate (and even then it’s like twisting an arm). I feel like all this is making me fall out of love with him, and I am not sure what to do. We intend to go to couples counseling
Not sure if I was clear… he’s been dry since March 2006. And, he drinks alone in the house… so I would definitely know if he is hitting the bottle again. He already knows I will leave him (with our son) if he even thinks about doing it again. Some might say I am enabling him, but I have allowed him to go so far that he needed to go to de/tox… so he knows where I stand… I am not going to put up with it if it happens again. Trust me… but in his defense, he’s a good father. I just don’t know if I can take the verbal abuse (I’m no angel either, but I think his way of handling it goes deeper into my self-esteem)

My soon-to-be ex-wife keeps making false child abuse charges and will not stop. I really don’t know what to do. I am thinking about voluntarily having my visitation with my youngest daughter at a supervized visitation center, while letting the older kids come ot my house for visitation. All three of My children have made false child abuse allegations against me and my soon-to-be ex-wife has made two separate false spousal abuse allegations against me and has reported me to child protective services for child abuse. The first time, she said I threw my 220 pound son against a wall, hit her with a chair while she was seated at the dinner table, slapped the kids, and more. We settled out of court, and I gave her a bunch of money as a maritial settlement and we signed a binding separation agreement, for joint custody.

Then, four months later, she got my kids to say I held a knife to their throats, threatened to kill them, threw them against walls, choked them, etc, and repeated her earilier allegations, and got them to back those allegations up. She got the second round of false charges to stick, sort of. Her case was better than mine, because she got the kids to lie about me to social services, and the alledged incidents were completely fabricated, as far as I can tell, and my kids did not have to testify in person, so I couldn’t even say what really happened or properly defend myself. So I signed a suspension agreement, meaning that I had to have supervised visitation at my house, and my ex and kids have a restraining order against me.

Two weekends ago, I tried to give my daughter a time out for disobeying me and trying to be controlling of, and disciplining another child at a child’s birthday party. She called her mom who then tried to come to my house despite a restraining order she had against me. I asked my mom to call her and tell her she would meet her halfway. The other two kids stayed with me for the rest of the weekend. About a week later, I got notice that she was taking me back to court. She wants to take my weekends away and have me visit the kids in a visitation center one hour per week. My daughter and ex alledge that I grabbed my youngest by the arm and threw her to the ground, leaving scratches and bruises. Now her older sister had bit her on the arm that day, so there might have been a bruise. My older daughter told her mom this, and that i did not hurt my youngest, and told my wife’s lawyer this too (according tomy older daughter), and my youingest even told a court official that she “exagerated,” but my ex and her lawyer are going ahead anyway, even though I have 5 witnesses, and am calling the court official as a witness. I think she messed up this time (my ex). She did not know probably when she initiated this that I had witnesses when it happened or that my older daughter would contradict her. Still, though, even if I win this hearing, I still have the older charges against me for which I have the restraining order.

I don’t know why my kids are taking her side like this and treating me this way. I raised them all for 6 years by myself. The first time, she left them for 6 months, but we made up. My youngest was only 5 month old when her mom left her the second time 2 years later, and for 5 and a half years. Both times she was into drugs, and committed several crimes, only one of which she was ever actually convicted of. The second time, she got hooked on herion for years. I stupidly re-married her 6 years later, though. She put herself out as a christian, and she was going to church and everything. But soon I discovered she was still her selfish self, and only wanted to use me. Even so, I stayed with her for the kis’d sake. However, she eventally found somebody else, left me, taking the kids, and put herself out there as a domestic voilence victim, getting all kinds of help from the state and her new boyfriend’s family.
I’m going to respond to what was said: My Lawyer seems pretty good. It is just that her Lawyer seems sloppy and a little shady, and I get the impression that she believed everything my ex says, and so allows her to get into trouble by lying when she shouldn’t. I obviously can’t take the kids and leave the state. It is not a criminal case yet, so I have no reason to fear a witness intimidation charge yet. I do hope that I can get out from under the first charges issued by my older kids. Mt daughter said I only did things to the other two, nit her, and only that I slapped the two of them, spanked them, and pushed them. I used to yell a lot, and spanked them when they were 7 to 9, trying to get some control over them. But when she was around, my ex would undermine any attempt I made to discipline them by giving them time out or taking away priveledges. She would go behind my back, or argue with me insessantly if I tried to punish them in any way.

I have long since gotten rid of the SOB but one year it was his birthday, we were living paycheck to paycheck & unfortunately I really had nothing to eat (other than cereal) but one of those “Pasta Roni” box dinners since I couldn’t afford to go shopping until pay day which was Friday & this was a Tuesday. Before I could EXPLAIN that I’d take him out that Friday he grabbed me by both arms & pushed me real hard against a wall & called me a beyotch.

Like I said I hope I never see him again & it wasn’t the only time but he never hit me with closed fists. It was always pillows, remote controls or he’d throw objects at me. Was this abuse. Could I have sent the SOB to jail? Damn I wish I had! I also later found he was smoking crack & before I left I threatened to tell his ex wife so he’d never see his kids again. I wish I had done that too. I also once heard him tell his 5 y/o son to “shut up b4 he broke his arm”. Doesn’t that sound like child abuse? I guess I should consider myself lucky I am OUt of that situation but I feel guilty for not doing more: like getting those kids from him but i didn’t think it was my business…or was it?

make that 2 questions & sorry for the Length

I think my son is consuming alcohol with friends. He is just 16 and it’s not right at his age to do so. I am too scared to confront him and interrogate on this. But I guess I’ll have to do it to save my son’s future. Please tell me the easiest method to detect if he has consumed alcohol or not.

My wife and I are in an argument over what the definition of alcohol abuse is versus misuse. From what I learned in my high school health class misuse IS abuse if the person drinking is underage as in our son’s case. My wife believes that abuse is reserved for raging alcoholics and that our son is just experimenting like everyone else his age. I have mixed views given my own “experimentation”, but I want to handle this better than our parents did. Our son also recently received a public intoxication ticket and we had to pick him up from the police station.

In the grand scheme of things the answer does not help us with our underage son, but it at least puts us on the same page as how best to handle it.

our family is notorious for abusing alcohol and women. should i intervene or let that lunatic drink himself to a coma ?

he also wants to marry his 9 year old cousin . is this ok ?

My nephew is addicted to drugs and reciently signed himself into rehab. He is there for 14 days but feels that he needs to be in longer, but he doesn’t have insurance to cover the cost, where can he get help?