How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

my ex wife let my son stay with her alcohlic mother today i was realy upset because we have both talked about this and thought we agreed that it was not safe for him at her place. this women has been an alcoholic for years and in the past four to six months gone to the crisis center at least twice and i think a thrid for sucide watch during a binge the last time this happened just a little over 30 days ago,and this time had to be escorted by police, my ex wife thinks because she has been on medicne and ok for 30 days and just a phone call away our son will be fine,(this is not the first or second time she has been ok for 30 days but many times over the past several years) my probelm with this is that not only has our son gone through some tough emotioal times recently and if he saw anything happen to his grand mother it would cause him great emotional harm but god forbid if she went off the deep end took my son in her car and got him hurt myabe worse. i dont think because u dont want to hurt someone’s feelings or what ever the case may be that she should put our son in arms way am i wrong to worry ?

I was just wondering about this since a friend of mine wants to suggest something to her parents so that they may be able to put their son in the right drug rehab. What are the factors to consider?

I started doing a colon detox this morning. I drank the drink and took one of the morning pills and was fine all day. I just took the 2nd pill dose and all of a sudden had a hot flash throughout my entire body. I also took 2 tylenol for my headache and a benadryl to help me sleep. My head hurts and I feel tingly all over! I am scared! I’ve just moved to a new state. I’m home alone with my son and I don’t know any of my neighbors! My fiance is out of town! I’ve had anxiety attacks in the past but this feels different. My whole neck and shoulders and down my arms tingle…. what should I do?
Believe me this is the last time I use this stuff. I feel much better now!

During communion the priest let my son drink alcoholic wine and he shortly after became inebriated.

should i start not talking about him and foucus on other things?

If that’s the right word.

For instance, I attend AA meetings. There, I occasionally am faced with a certain race of people who, under the cloak of “sharing”, regularly judge and demean other members while bragging about their “sobriety”, “gratitude”, and accomplishments.

In today’s AA meeting, for example, the speaker was a young man who will be celebrating one year of recovery this month. His story included Latin American parents who brought him to the United States at the age of two, but neglected to apply for citizenship for him. That created problems that began in his adolescence and have continued throughout his adult life. His eventual marriage of convenience to get papers failed when his wife, ten years older and an American citizen, intentionally hid a pregnancy from him. His accumulated anger at his own dependency and her trickery eventually resulted in his being arrested for an assault — on his own infant son.

He did not try to excuse any of this but instead spoke with great regret, and expressed hope and thanks that he had at least kept his sobriety thorough the ordeal, and been able to find legal support and through the rehabilitated relationship with his estranged parents — been able to at least secure bail and try to face his situation while free to attend meetings and whatever his fate might be, including the possible deportation that his former wife was pressing for. It was a moving and courageous story to hear.

When he had finished and the time came for others to share, one man (a well-to-do yuppie) spoke up and said, “Well, with my seven years of sobriety I can tell you that what you’ve gone through is nothing compared to what I have.” And so on. Another gave what amounted to a priestly absolution.
They made me sick. I spoke up and said what I felt in general and anonymous terms, doing my best to respect the AA tradition of avoiding direct response to what others said. But I was really angry, and I think most saw me as more of a problem than a help to the meeting.

Now I know modern convention says to ignore people like this and what they say. But my own experience shows that doing so is no solution at all — that such people are like termites who, under the cover of righteous superiority, gnaw away at whatever social environment they inhabit. In the same vein I heard Karl Rove blustering on television the other night, full of pomp about he and his ilk will soon return to the position of power they deserve when the general public forced to admit that those who have taken their place will be seen to be wrong. But the disastrous consequences that do occur when his folks and their policies are allowed to take root and flourish are all too obvious. They are as tireless and destructive as cancer.

So the question is, what to do — how to maintain some sort of serenity and remain socially useful rather than becoming a crazed firebrand myself when faced with stuff like this?
S: Over !2 years AA “time”, as they say. And Level 6 here, by the way.

Like the man said: “Just the facts, Ma’am.”
‘Bigot’ — definition:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Bigot

ruining all our lives..he’s addited to oxycontin and other drugs. He lies constantly, bilks relatives from money, stole Christmas presents Christmas eve, was discovered sleeping in my mother’s attic where he had gotten through two sticks and a chain on the patio door, broken in apartments, refuses rehab, broken his mother’s heart, loses jobs, apartments, cars, a wife, and much more. He steals repeatedly from relatives and breaks in our sheds and my mom’s house often. Made many death threats..people are scared to turn him in as he may retaliate or he may just be using controlling behavior. he gets away with murder.

Do they know they are ruining their lives and many others? Do they care? Is only thre drug important? What makes them quit? Need more insight..
how can you make them want rehab…I feel prison might get him off drugs..his mom pays and gets him in programs and he doesn’t show up, lies and says he went and then they find out he didn’t etc.

That’s the problem…we all decided not to give him money etc but his grandma (and sometimes) brother get the most begging and sometimes break down and help him…they are hounded and the “strong ones” generally are not approaced..his mom also breaks down sometimes and helps him behind her husband’s back who has thrreatened divorce if she helps him but she feels sorry for him when he is freezing and homeless…he also threathens his grandma a lot and she has helped him most (except maybe his mom)…he has ruined her life and she is dying and he is so stressing her out and hastening her death that is no more than 6 months away according to the doctor. We do need to be united but then he breaks in if we don’t help..somehow he cons his way in..a master manipulator and liar and stupid grandma
keeps buying his bull crp stories.
Abhishek Joshi –you offered some real insight into things. It’s true..I think this is a kid (well he’s 28 now but a kid to me still) who is full of anger. His dad was a jerk–never there…abandoned him..bought him drugs they took together when a teen, broke promises he’s visit all the time. This was a kid noone liked banging doors and cussing everyone out when only 2 years old..how we disliked him and talked about how rotten he was as he was..stole five sets of keys from me and apparently threw them in the gully and slashed my tires as a kid cause I wouldn’t let my son (who he liked) stay all night a few times so I’d bre forced to stay..breaking in houses as a teen and just a troublemaker. Spoiled like crazy by a mom who felt sorry for him that noone liked him with no parental insight and very permissive, buying him things like chinese stars, bb guns, minicars, bow and arrows (which he proudly and loudly announced much to my emabarrassment at the museam I took him to when
looking at stuffed birds that he loved shooting them between the eyes ith slingshots and such at about 5 years old..bought him things like garbage pail kids sticker and all these things at the inappropriate ages of 2-7 and saying to me don’t buy hiom toys for Christmas he doesn’t like them…sorry he got toys from me..what am I gonna buy him…weapons? She bought this bratty. ungrateful kid who cussed out teachers and threw chairs at them $300 shoes and jackets. he was very dependent on his mom and adept at xontrolling her….until she remarried at his age 18 where they essentially threw him aside for their own lives and the two males hated each other…Steve (the kid) blaming Mick (the new husband) for taking away his mom who he had frustrated but wrapped around his finger..Mick was also controlling with Sue (the mom) fake names in the middle torn between husband and son..the husband mostly won and it was then I felt sorry for the kid throw away in my opinion the son who had been
all becoming nothing although she still helps him sometimes behind husband’s back)…I think as you said the kid is full of anger..the family is disfunctional and people have been judging him from birth he feels unloved and is gonna make everyone pay even if it destroys him in the process. He was obsessed with guns and is an angry kid..angry at the world and his family and life..he sees himself homeless, suffering, losing jobs and possessions and wife and family and homes and blames everyone and the drug is his relief from the anger and pain and makes him happy and forget. It is a sad situation but whast you said helped me have more compassion for him.