Supervised access for husband?

31/03/2011 admin 10 comments

I have a 5 month old baby. My husband (his father) walked out on Christmas Eve, after an arguement as a result of him being drunk and becoming verbally abusive towards me. I have suffered this for several years and only decided that enough was enough after my son was born.

My husband regularly takes cocaine. He SWORE he had given it up when the baby was born, because the baby deserved better and his mood swings and bad temper were making life awful for everybody. A crying baby was always enough to push him over the edge.

He does coke most weekends, but his mood swings are present all of the time. He also drink drives every single weekend.

My husband is now talking about access to our baby. I am terrified to hand my son over to him in case he has one of his temper tantrums (my husband, not the baby) and takes it out on the baby. He would NEVER hit him, but shouting alone is bad enough.

Am I being over protective or should I try to arrange some kind of supervised access? How do I do this?

Any advice appreciated.

SON'S DRUG ABUSE QUESTIONS access, husband, SUPERVISED

Comments

Written by BoredManPretendingToBeWoman about 1 year ago.

why did you get pregnant by him?
you shouldn’t allow a loser like that near your child
unless he goes into rehab!
Written by ♥NVRGVUP♥ about 1 year ago.

always protect your child. If he really wants a relationship, tell him to get off the drugs.

You and your child do not need this.
Written by katie2008 about 1 year ago.

Your responsibility is to protect your baby!! My advice is to get an attorney to assist you in starting divorce proceedings immediately; and to also get a court order preventing him from being with the baby unless you are there to supervise. If you are afraid that he will act like an idiot even with you in the room….then he should not be allowred around the baby at all.
Written by bitter-sweet-love about 1 year ago.

Protect your baby and nothing else and see what you can do legally …
also keep evidence of him doing bad stuff….
when you said he will never hit him and shouting alone is bad enough…..ever heard bark is worst then bite..
Written by nowheretogo1 about 1 year ago.

STOP FIRST THAN FIRST, HE NEEDS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BABY FORMULA OR A FIX ON COKE. ITS A HARD DRUG TO GET OFF BUT IT ONLY TAKES A WEEK OR 2 AND HE’LL BE FINE AND NORMAL AGAIN BUT HE DOES IT SO CAUSE WHEN OFF IT IT MAKE YOU DEPRESSED AS HELL. BUT GIRL HE NEEDS TO GET HIS SHIT STRAIGHT. HE NEEDS TO BE THERE FOR THE FAMILY, I HATE TO SAY IT BUT YOU CANT TALK TO A DRUNK OR A PERSON ON COKE TO GOOD CAUSE THE DONT LISTEN AND GET WIERD, IF YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT TO BE WITH HIM GET HIM OFF THE DRUGS AND DRINKING. AFTER SOME TIME LIKE A MONTH OR 2 HE MIGHT BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON.
Written by BUBBles about 1 year ago.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS trust your instincts as a mother. If anything should go wrong you will find it hard to forgive yourself.
Written by LaPri about 1 year ago.

Does he have a legal drug or alcohol history? How about domestic violence reports? Do what ever it takes to protect your child. Do you trust his family? To prove he is a danger you have to prove a history of abuse whatever it is. Does he have any DUI charges? How about witness’ to his abuse?

Get you ducks in order and get the best attorney you can.

Don’t defend him by saying, “He would NEVER hit him” you don’t know what he will do and you are trying to prove he is a danger to the child right? Verbal abuse easily escalates to physical violence. How much physical violence do you think a 5 month old can take from a drug abusing drunk?

Talk to a domestic violence counselor in your area they will be able to assist you.

I was in a similar position as you, I was married and when it was just me I took the verbal and physical abuse after my son was born I could not and filed a protection order and he had to move. My son was 3 months old and I lived several states away from family. I had a few friends that emotionally supported me until I could get a divorce. Get organized and build a case against him.

You will be able to protect your child and yourself

Oh the judge refused to give my husband visitation due to the child’s age and his violent history.

Answerers: Don’t give anyone crap about being in a abusive relationship. When you are in one you are in a trap, you are controlled and manipulated to believe is love and in my case it was my fault. Don’t be judgmental you have never lived in my house or walked in footsteps.
Written by 2Westies about 1 year ago.

Don’t let him anywhere near your baby until he is clean and sober. If something happens to the your child while he is with your husband you will be equally responsible.
Written by SweetS about 1 year ago.

I think you ned to involve a lawyer. If he does drugs then the law is not going to give him the baby. you shouldn’t be worried. Try get some support from the support community and they will help you out. They have resources on what to do.
Written by Tay about 1 year ago.

Your main role now is to protect your baby from life’s dangers, as it stands now he is one of those.

If you are in England get a solicitor immediately, claim legal help and protect your son. Refuse contact until he is willing to have a drugs test from his hair. This will show the last time he did drugs. If he is clean and hasn’t done any since the baby was born then fine but from what you say he will fail the test.

DO NOT ALLOW UNSUPERVISED CONTACT, your solicitor can arrange supervised through the court at a contact centre. Anyone can father a child but it takes more to be a dad.

PROTECT YOUR CHILD

From a wife of a English Family Solicitor. who has also worked at the firm and attended court hearings regarding such situations.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Supervised access for husband?

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