If she used to consider him “Dad” I really do not know how he cannot try to save her.

You may find that the love and care you will give her may make her more grateful than your own children do.

If she can’t stay with the old friend that went to pick her up then I think you would be the best alternative.

If you have love you have room and if you are willing to deal with everything that comes with the package and so is he then do it. But make sure that its something permanent do it the right way and the legal way else this little girls is going to come in establish a home and a routine and then boom something may happen and she is gone. Make sure you can give her a home to call home and a family to call family. Also she is coming with a lot on her shoulders so establish rules and privileges etc…if you both have love and are willing she will always be eternally grateful and forever you will be her family and like a marriage through thick and thin.

I sure would in a heart beat. This girl needs some guidance and I hope you have a big enough heart to help this child. She doesn’t sound like she has had a good life and will need some help. I took in foster children because of abuse and don’t regret one minute of it. I only had them one month before they got to go with the natural father, but they will carry these scars for the rest of their life. So if you could open your heart up to this child that would be great.

I wouldn’t hesitate a moment longer. Go get her.

This can end very bad. I did something very similar.

After enough damage has aggregated in someone’s life – you can’t help, you can’t fix it, and you can’t even take away the pain. Hurt people – they hurt people. They will hurt your children – badly. Do you want to face your own kids as addicts? How about stealing from you? How about pitted against you in her power struggles?

1) Get her clean long long long before you invite her in.

Even with “sane” non-addict, non-damaged goods family living together for even a little while can turn ugly. Normal people have beef there regularly. Ask people you know/trust/admire to see if I am wrong here. I was extraordinarily lucky that it worked out once for me.. the thing that made it work out was a genuine and solid commitment from both sides to the following:
- what they were staying with us to accomplish. If goal was met or progress got below certain level, both were committed that it was exit time.
- exit strategy. They moved in to move out. The goal wasn’t living with us forever. Goal was set them on their feet, empower them to provide for themselves, and then .. let them provide for themselves on their own feet.

2) get solid buy in to the goal, the minimum progress, and the desired level of progress. First time this gets transgressed – both parties agree that its time to leave. If no commit right away, all the way, and with whole heart – this is a deal-breaker.

Have regular checkups. Like monthly. Get progress reports. Have forum for addressing two-way grievances. Read “how to fight for your marriage” on how to effectively communicate. The method is slow, ugly, and works disturbingly amazingly well. It is a rusty machine with sand in the gears, make sure to nearly continuously wash the sand out, or your gears will be milled to nothing, and your machine won’t work.

3) Regular checkups.

That is the best I had and have. It is by the Grace of God with these three rules that things have worked out. Without that – you are in game over, and it is all all over but your children dying in front of you, and your hearts lifeblood pouring out of gaping wounds you could have avoided.

Best of luck.