Should an only child leave his out of country job to tend to alcoholic father? The son is in early twenties.?

25/08/2010 admin 7 comments

The father (a physician) has had recurrent bouts with severe alcoholism. He has several DUIs. Is on probation with his professional career. Disapears into his home for day and becomes so ill we wonder if he’ll survive. The son worries sick because he feels he is all his father has and he should be wih him taking care of him. The mother ( his ex-wife/my sister) found it impossible to handle and left but the son feels unconditionally bound to the problem. She feels powerless as to how to counsel her son. She does not want her son to put his life on hold and leave the job he just began as a teacher overseas. However, his father can’t seem to pull it together and is in the midst of another episode. The situation seems so grave and has ben a burden to my nephew for years!
Is it possible to make someone enter a facility against the persons will. I agree, the son would be so relieved to know his fathe rwas getting the treatment he needs. But, ho wcan he make his fatehr eneter a facility?

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM alcoholic, child, country, early, father., leave, only, should, tend, twenties.

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Written by Whitehead about 2 years ago.

He should not quit his job. He should have his father placed in a drug facility for him to recuperate.
Written by tjnstlouismo about 2 years ago.

Your nephew cannot help his father. Only his father can help himself. If he drinks himself to death, then so be it. He’ll do that even if his son is there. Dad needs AA and son need Alanon.

If your nephew leaves his life behind to care for his father, nothing will change. His father will not respond to it because once again he is being rescued. It sounds like he hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. When he does he will either get help, go to jail or die. No matter what his son does. Drunks are the most selfish human beings on the face of the earth.
Written by violet about 2 years ago.

Nobody can help this man except himself,sure his son can come home and try,but he has to expect disappointments ,its really so sad to see somebody in such a bad way.Do you think his son can handle this.
Written by lizzil32 about 2 years ago.

Your sister wants to protect her son. The only problem is that the damage has been done. I’d say it’s truly up to him what role he plays in his father’s life. Alcoholism is one of those addictions that don’t just affect the person involved with it. I’d say nephew needs some strong counseling, but not by family.
I agree that he should not give up this position, but he could be just as addicted to helping his dad as his dad is addicted to alcohol.
Written by Tracy about 2 years ago.

The family needs to go to him and intervene.He needs to be confronted about his alcohol problem and have each family member that he has tell him how his alcoholism is affecting the rest of the family how it hurts to see him this way. Give him the option to go into treatment and give him a good reason why he should go. Your nephew should just take a personal leave of absence long enough to get his father into treatment, he shouldn’t jeopardize his career and needs to stress that to him.
Written by Leslea S about 2 years ago.

What a bad situation! I myself could not do that to my child, he has his own life which seems to be going very well and to take that away from him I think would be purely selfish.
I would however try an intervention to get the family together and get him in a rehab center!
If that doesn’t work you cant help someone who wont help themselves. And why should the son put his life on hold to babysit his father.
Written by TokyoGirl about 2 years ago.

Can you make a person enter into a medical help program against their will? Yes & no. You can, but you have to prove that they are without a doubt unable to care for themselves. It is difficult to do so, so prepare for a very intense legal & emotional battle. Make sure to keep a record of everything the father has done as proof. If he constantly dissapears into his house & gets ill, yet doesn’t seek medical help, that can be a huge help in proving that he’s incompetent.

As for the son, I think that he should continue in his own career. If the family that is already over there with the father can’t help him, then I seriously doubt that his son will change him. The man has to want to change himself. No one else can do it but him. Instead of having the son move back over, just get the son to call his father or come visit him occasionally. Again, the son moving over will probably not change anything, especially if the legal problems & the loss (or near loss) of his career hasn’t caused him to seek medical help.

I think that you, the ex-wife, & the son need to go to AA’s family groups. They have meetings where the family members of alcoholics meet up to support each other. It’s a bumpy ride, but it’s worth it to meet people who are going through the same thing you are.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Should an only child leave his out of country job to tend to alcoholic father? The son is in early twenties.?

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